A/N: Another short chapter, I'm afraid. Do forgive me.

Information traveled quickly in the portrait network at Hogwarts. Snape knew only minutes after Harry arrived that he had come alone, with no possessions, and was currently residing in the South Tower-- away from where all the other professors typically resided. He also knew that Harry had been seen slinking around near the statue of the hump-backed witch; probably to use the secret passage to Hogsmeade (why he would choose a secret passage in the middle of summer baffled Snape to no end).

Snape was pleasantly amused to note that Sir Cadogan, when informing him of all this, had mentioned that Harry had a bright red handprint on his left cheek.

The Weasley must not have taken too well to his idea of a break.

Despite McGonagall's frequent, stern warnings, Snape couldn't help but meander through the South Tower from time to time-- usually, he just wandered around the staircase, hoping to catch Harry on his way to or from the room. This peculiar urge to see him bothered Snape; he'd never had any interest in celebrity of any flavor, let alone Harry's. The desire to seek him out was sudden, inexplicable, and (to Snape, at least) frivolous.

He hadn't actually planned what to say or do if he ever saw Harry, which left him in a rather embarrassing situation when Harry emerged from his room in his bedclothes, blinking blearily at his portrait from behind overly-large spectacles.

"Professor? What're you doing up here?" He mumbled.

Snape, frozen in surprise and unable to break his rude-streak (unwilling to, at least), snapped, "I could ask the same of you, Mister Potter."

Harry snorted a little bit-- it took Snape a moment to realize he was laughing. "Funny story about that, Professor. Long. Boring. You probably don't want to hear it."

Snape wanted to ask, When did you get a sense of humor, and when were you given permission to use it with me? but instead he said, "I have time to spare." It came out a bit more maliciously than he intended.

Well, maybe not.

Harry sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses and wiping the sleep from his eyes. "Well, see, last night I saw this staircase, this one right here--"

Snape sighed in exasperation. "Spare me your sarcasm, Potter."

"I could ask the same of you, Professor," Harry said mildly.

Snape wanted to ask, When did you get a spine? but he said nothing.

Harry, seeing that he would provoke no more conversation from Snape, began to walk down the hall. Snape remained in the portrait he had temporarily taken (that of a large green pear with a smile and a lolling tongue that actually alarmed Snape a little bit), staring after him, unsure of exactly what just happened.

"I believe that's called a conversation, Severus," Dumbledore's voice came from the pear's mouth. Snape jumped in surprise, falling into the frame of a cluster of snoring nuns. None of them woke, fortunately, and Snape slowly shuffled back into the frame with the pear.

"Albus?"

The pear laughed. "It seems I was the subject of this particular artist's...inspiration. Although I am rather disappointed that I don't have arms or legs...or eyes or ears or a nose, for that matter..."

The pear sighed, and Severus imagined that it would be tugging its beard thoughtfully, had it a beard to tug-- or a hand to tug it with.

"Severus, I must ask that you leave Harry in peace. I'm sure he will be more than happy to answer your questions when the time comes-- allow him to adjust for the time being, though."

I am talking to an enormous pear, Severus thought. "Does Potter know that you..."

"Of course not. The poor boy would think he's mad if a pear started talking to him."

Severus decided not to respond to this, and the pear licked its lips before shutting its mouth as well.

A/N: For those of you wondering what Albus' other portrait looks like, here's a link, thoughtfully captioned by the...err...people at Encyclopedia Dramatica.

images . encyclopediadramatica . com / images / b / bf / Lolwutpear.jpg

Please review. Critique is always welcome.