"Are you sure this is the place, Ax?" Roxas asked as they arrived at the dreary apartment building that supposedly belonged to the owner of the chickens.
"Well it matches the address in the newspaper so it must be." Axel said. He walked up to the house and rapped his knuckles on the door. There was no answer or reply and he did not hear the sound of footsteps, so he knocked again. Nobody came. "Gee, I wonder if he's even home." he wondered.
"Maybe he's an old man and he's deaf!" Roxas said, "HEY DUDE! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW, WE'RE HERE TO WATCH YOUR CHICKENS!" He banged on the door with his fist.
"Roxas Merrideth Nugyen, you do not speak to elderly people in that manner!" Axel scolded.
Roxas apparently ignored this because he whipped out his keyblade, Oblivion, but before he could use it as a battering ram, Axel held him back. He began to hear footsteps approaching the door then, the doorknob turned and opened. Boy, were they surprised! Axel had imagined a calm elderly man, living alone with poultry as his only company and just itching to take a short trip to the beach. However, his assumption was far from being correct.
"What the hell?" Seifer Almsay demaded as he opened his door and discovered Axel and Roxas, "Didn't I tell you duck-butted morans to beat it?" Axel rolled his eyes. He figured, Seifer only made up those stupid rules about "foul language" so that he would be the only one throwing the insults.
"No," Roxas replied bluntly, "But, we wanted to know if you would pay us if we watched your chickens for a few days."
"Oh, yeah, I'm leaving for three days. Just now I was packing. Anyway, Roxas, why is it that all of a sudden you want to get some money? I thought you were part of some terrorist gang. Akatsuki wasn't it?" Seifer asked.
"No, we're part of Org-. . .," Before Roxas could finish, Axel had covered the boy's mouth with his hand.
"We were erm. . .planning. . .to go to the beach and we just wanted some cash so we could pay for the gas." said Axel. He took his hand away from Roxas' mouth.
"Ya' know Axel, we ican/i warp there using our powers." Roxas said.
"Shut up!" Axel hissed in his ear. "Are you stupid?"
"I don't know, I never really thought about it before." Roxas whispered back to him.
"Really sorry that I asked. . .," Axel muttered, rolling his eyes.
Seifer was quiet for a moment as if he was thinking good and hard about whether these fellows were reliable enough to babysit his chickens. It didn't take him long to make his final desicion. "Okay, it's a deal. Come in an I'll show you around."
Half-relieved, half-dissapointed, Axel entered the dumpy looking apartment that was Seifer's home with Roxas excitedly skipping beside him. For some reason, he had the sinking feeling as if he would regret doing this with Roxas. He had eaten, lived, and slept in the same facility as Roxas, but never in a tiny, cramped, lousy excuse for a house. . .for three straight days. iPlease, let him go to sleep quickly tonight./i Axel prayed. (Heh, he sounds like a stressed-out, full-time mother.)
Seifer's "house" was even more crappier than Axel had imagined. The walls and ceiling were stained in mold spots and finger prints. The furniture was worn out and probably ridden with fleas and mites. The floor was covered with a bunch of random stuff from Pop Tart crumbs to empty chicken food sacks. iDamn, this guy lives like a friggin'pig. No wonder, he aint got a girlfriend!/i However, despite the piles of dirty laundry, bubblegum wrappers, Wal-Mart bags, and empty ice cream cartons that decorated the floor, mounted on the pathetic sheet rock wall was a gorgeous plasma television of the highest quality. Plugged into it were multiple gaming systems and basically everything that a young male teenager ever wanted. It was the only thing that made the room worth being in.
"Welp, this is the living room, now I'll show you the chickens." Seifer said and began to walk towards a screen door that obviously led outside to the chicken coop. Roxas continued to stare in awe at the T.V. and the other things with it. Axel elbowed the blonde boy in the ribs, urging him to follow Seifer.They were led outside to a decent-looking, small, yard that was big enough to keep in two large dogs. The ground was covered with the usual straw, mud, and chicken crap and in a sense it had a cleaner feeling to it than the house itself.
"Where are the chickens, Seifer?" Roxas asked, "Did they fly south for the winter?"
"You idiot! Chickens don't fly! Besides, it's the middle of summer, why the ihell/i would you come up with such a stupid idea?" Seifer asked. "They're in the damn coop! Duh!"
Roxas hung his head as if he were ashamed with himself, "I- I'm sorry, Dude." Roxas' sad expression made Axel have some sympathy for him. The kid only asked a simple question although it was completely stupid and idiotic.
Seifer opened the small door to the chicken coop that housed four plump looking Rhode Island Red hens that sat quietly on their nests. "Yeah. . .so there they are. . .okay, now I'm off- ," Seifer was about to close the chicken coop door before Roxas asked.
"Umm. . .uh. . .wait! What are their names! How what will know to call them by?" Roxas asked in a panicky way. "A- and what will we feed them?" Axel sighed heavily, it was going to be a while before Seifer would be going anywhere.
"Dummy! Chickens don't have names!" Seifer yelled, "Look, Kid, all you have to do for three days is to give them a little food from this bag and then do what ever you want for the rest of the day!" He pointed towards a giant bag that sat in the corner of the tiny chicken house.
"Okay, thanks, we get it, we get it!" Axel said and he began shoving Seifer towards the screen door, "You be on your way, we can handle it!"
"W-wait a sec- . . .," Seifer said as he was back in his house and Axel was putting suit cases in his hands. "Y-your not staying too are you? I thought it was just Rox- . . .,"
"Now, now Seifer' don't overstay your welcome for our sake, just go on and enjoy your vacation!" Axel quickly said and started to push Seifer out of the front door.
"Well. . .alright. . .," Seifer shrugged, "Okay, seeya in three days! I'm off to visit my great-grandmother in Uruguay!"
When Seifer was completely out of the house, Axel slammed the door shut and locked it tightly. "Well, now, all we have to worry about now is. . .ROXAS WHAT THE HELL!?" Before, they even had a chance to settle in, Roxas was already screwing up. The blonde-haired boy was in the kitchen and was holding a carton of icecream and a spoon which he was using to devour the contents of it.
"Hey, Axel, this Seifer sure has good food!" Roxas said, ice cream dripping down his chin, "Too bad he aint got Sea-salt flavor!"
"Roxaaaaaas!" Axel said burying his head in his hands, "You don't eat food out of other people's houses without permission!"
"Ohhhh. . .," Roxas stopped eating and was silent for a moment as if to reflect on the error of his actions. "Oh, well, I'm gonna go check out his room then!" Roxas said and he put the carton down on a nearby counter and started to hurry up the stairs. (Seifer's apartment in this fanfiction has two floors.)
"THAT'S STILL RUDE!" Axel exclaimed, but Roxas ignored him and made his way up the short flight of stairs. Axel groaned in despair, "I swear, that kid's gonna either get shot or thrown in jail one of these days. . .and I have a feeling he's going to wind up in both scenarios." He felt exhausted, but was hesitant to sit down on the sad looking couch that lay before the majestic entertainment system. Axel sat on the floor in front of the television, feeling that the dirty carpet would be at least be a little more sanitary than the other furniture and he found a pizza sauce stained remote control lying underneath a smelly Struggle jersey. Daintily, he picked up the remote and pressed the "POWER" button. Immediatly the black screen burst into color and illuminated the room with it's brilliance. The sound that came from it was so loud and clear that it vibrated the entire little apartment building and scared the living daylights out of Axel (he was already used to the quiet by now). Hastily, he pressed the "POWER" button again and the colorful light melted away and everything was silent.
Axel exhaled slowly, "I gotta learn how to get used to that." He got rup off the floor, dusted off his black jacket, and walked into the kitchen for he was feeling hungry. The kitchen was an even more sad sight then the T.V. room. It wasn't that it was dirty, it was just that there was hardly anything in it. There were no dishes or even a dishwasher. (Seifer used plastic plates and silverware.) All the food that could be seen was either so sort of junk food or instant ramen. The refrigerator was just the same and the freezer was stuffed with cartons of ice cream and popsicles. "Daaaaang, it's a mystery how he's not fatter than that doofus, Pence." Since ice cream seemed like the only thing he felt like eating at the moment, he got one of the cartons out, grabbed a plastic spoon from off the counter top, and began stuffing his face with the frozen dairy treat. "Hey, Roxas,what are you doing up there?" Axel called up the stairs. He got no answer,so he decided to go up there himself. Axel put the ice cream on the counter top and the climbed the stairs up to where Roxas was.
The second floor was surpringly cleaner than any other part of the house. Axel opened one of the two doors that was located on it. It lead into Seifer's room (which was also surprisingly clean) and inside was a small, neatly made bed and a computer that Roxas was sitting at. "What are you doing?" Axel asked leaning over Roxas' shoulder. The blonde boy yelped and lept out of the chair. "Holy crap, don't freak out!"
"Then don't scare me!" Roxas said, "Geez. . .hey, Axel, have you noticed that we're the only characters in probably the entire Kingdom Hearts universe that get's scared so easily?"
Axel ignored Roxas' question and looked at the computer screen, "What the HELL is this?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I hacked into Zexion's MySpace!" Roxas said with a big smile on his face as if he actually made a worthwhile accomplishment.
"Yeah, but you're on Google and you're looking at. . .,"
"Oh, that? I was just looking for pictures to 'jazz up' Zexion's profile, so I decided to get put some nice ZexionxMarluixa fan-art on it." Roxas said. "Isn't that great?"
"Um. . .no, what did Zexion ever do to you?" Axel asked.
"He was a total ass to me over the chicken ordeal so I decided to get my revenge by humiliating him on the World Wide Web." said Roxas, "For some reason I found a lot of these pics, it's pretty weird. Gee, wouldn't it be so weird if people actually drew pictures of us doing stuff like. . .,"
"Th-that's enough Roxas!" Axel said, raising his hand to stop Roxas from speaking any more. "Surely, nobody would draw us. . .doing stuff. . .!"
"Good point, we're not even that popular!" Roxas said and he turned off the computer, "Well, I'm bored of that now, how about we watch some television, I heard the new Naruto episode comes on tonight on Toonami!"
"Don't tell me you actually watch that crap!" Axel said.
"It's pretty good crap if you ask me. Sasuke is sooo hott!" Roxas exclaimed.
"What did you just say?" Axel asked, afraid he just heard what he thought he did.
"Oh, I meant. . .Sasuke is sooo emo! He's such a wussy baby! I hope he dies!" Roxas yelled.
"That's the spirit!" Axel said.
"KUDOS TO ME!" Roxas exclaimed joyfully and leapt in the air.
i pull up, get low, hands up head bobbin' holla at a playa in the spot where the girls go wild pass dash