Still don't own it.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I have been working on this story for a year or two now, but have procrastinated in whether or not to put it up.

Chapter 8

Dallas Texas

Later that day

Sam had been sitting at the airport for more than three hours now. The only flight heading back to Washington from Colorado included a four hour stay in Texas. She had been able to keep herself from crying since leaving Jack's house, but she knew that as soon as she was home she would break down. Sam couldn't help but give a little laugh at her thoughts. She never would have believed that she would ever consider Washington to be home. She never felt home when she was there before the SGC, and when she was in Colorado Sam thought that she had finally found where she was meant to be. Now, well she knew that Colorado couldn't be home because she wasn't wanted there. At least in Washington she had Harry and she knew that he would do whatever it took to keep her and the baby safe.

Her flight number was called and she picked up her bag. The plane was an incoming flight from Washington where after the passengers departed would return back to D.C. As she stood up she caught a glimpse of a familiar form coming off the plane. She recognized him instantly, praying that he wouldn't notice her, but unfortunately for Sam her prayers would go unanswered.

- - - - - - -

Jack was distracted as he walked out the gate. He was too busy thinking about what had happened and his reaction to it. For the first time in his life Jack couldn't help but fell like a coward. Instead of waiting for Sam he got on the next flight back to Colorado. Unfortunately it was not a straight flight, but then again it never is anymore, where he would have to change planes in Texas before heading on. When he finally looked up from his thoughts, he saw the person who had been on his mind all this time.

As Sam straightened he knew that she had seen him too. He wanted so much to just run up to her and take her in his arms, but he felt himself rooted to the spot. It seemed that all either of them could do was stand there, too afraid to move- as if the other would disappear if they even so much as blinked. It wasn't until she turned to walk away that Jack was able to act. At the sight of her walking away from him again he walked after her as fast as possible. He called after her begging her to stop but she wouldn't. Finally he caught up with her, grabbing her arm and turning her around. She had tears in her eyes and couldn't even look at him.

With out thinking for another second, he grabbed her tighter around the arm and practically dragged her out of the airport. After getting into a cab they headed towards a hotel down the street. After checking in he pulled her in the direction of the room. Once the door was closed Sam did not hesitated to voice her opinion.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question Sam."

"I asked you first, so talk."

"Well I can see that this is getting us no where. Why don't we start with why you are in Texas instead of your apartment in Washington."

"You were in Washington? Why?" she asked.

"Because I needed to see you. We need to talk about everything that has happened between us."

Sam just stood there staring at him, not knowing how to respond to him. Finally, shaking her head in amusement she responded.

"After all this time you want to talk. Okay, let's talk. But about what Jack, I know you didn't go all the way to Washington to talk about the weather, so what is there to talk about?"

"I talked to your dad." was all he said.

"What do you mean you talked to my dad?"

"He told us everything."

"Us? Everything? What exactly does that mean Jack?"

"It means exactly what it sounded like Sam. And you don't have to worry Sammy we understand."

"Understand? You don't understand a damn thing about my life."

"I understand more than you think I do. What do you think my life was like before the SGC? I guarantee you that the Air Force didn't have me pushing papers five days a week."

"I can't possibly understand the things I have done because I don't even understand them. The things I have done were horrible and I don't understand why I did them in the first place, but I have been living with them for a long time now."

"Sam, believe me I know. I was black ops for God's sake. I guarantee you that I have done things ten times worse than you."

"There's a difference there Jack. What you did, you did under orders."

"So did you Sam."

"No, no I didn't"

"Sam everyone in the military is acting under the orders of someone else."

"I know Jack. Where do you think your orders came from?"

"What?"

"Come on Jack, I thought you were smarter than this. Your orders didn't come from a room full of Generals. They came from the NID. Yeah that's right Jack, they came from us. We were the ones deciding where to send you and what your mission was."

"The NID?"

"Yep. You know, you were legendary. The great Jack O'Neill. Hated the orders but always got the job done. Why do you think I was so excited that day I walked into the SGC?"

Jack just stood there in disbelief. He didn't know what to say, instead he just stood there staring at her.

"It gets even better Jack. When you were a POW we had the chance to go in and get you several times before they actually did. It was something that we debated on over dinner. Should we go in and get you. Half said yes that you were too valuable to lose and the others thought we should just cut our losses."

"And you? What did you think?"

"Well, fortunately for you it occurred back when I still had a conscious and I voted to go and get you. I'm afraid to say that it did come as a bit of a shock when you decided to retire. Then a couple of years later Daniel opened the Star Gate, something that we never thought was possible. The NID wanted that thing destroyed from the very beginning. We had to find a way to make sure that it happened. General Simmons knew that you were a bit on the suicidal range after Charlie's death so he picked you Jack. That was why you were called back - because we thought you would be the best tool for seeing the gate destroyed."

"Why?"

"Why what Jack? Why you? Because we knew you would follow orders. If you found any life on that planet you were to destroy the gate. Or did you want to know why we wanted the gate destroyed. Well about this: we knew. We knew everything about the gate Jack. How to make it work, hell we even knew what was on the other side."

"How, there was a team working on it years before Daniel was brought in. And if you didn't want any one to know how to work it why let Daniel be brought in in the first place?"

"Daniel wasn't the only one who could read the translations. NID had been working on it since Catherine's father found it. There were tablets that no one outside the NID even knew existed besides him. They told us the history of the gate how Ra had come to earth to gather his slaves, the revolt and the burying of the gate. Hell Jack, we even knew that it worked to all those other planets out there. As for bringing Daniel in, it happened before we could stop it."

"I don't belief it, any of it."

"Well belief what you want to Jack, but I'm leaving now." she said walking to the door.

"No damn it," he said slamming it shut. "You've said what you want to Sam, now it's your turn to listen."

"Fine."

"Sam, the past is the past. We have to deal with what is going on now."

"Did you hear anything that I said to you Jack? How can the past be the past with you knowing everything I have done? And to you, no less."

"Because Sam I love you, I have since we met and I'll never stop no matter what is in the past."

"Jack I let you rot in a POW camp for weeks knowing that we could have gotten you out hours after it occurred."

"But you got me out Sam. When it came down to it you wouldn't let them leave me there."

"Everything else Jack..."

"Sam you can not hold yourself responsible for that either. Your dad told us how old you were Sam. They were using you at a very young age and I bet that when they asked you for a scenario they never told you what was going to happen."

"How many...?"

"How many what Sam?"

"How many people died because of what I thought up Jack? I can't use my age as an excuse. When they finally told me, included me in on the real meetings I ran. But no one can escape the NID Jack. It didn't take them long to find me and when they did they told me that..."

"What?"

"That I was in for life and if I refused to go back then they would... they would kill my father."

"Sam they didn't give you a choice in your life. You had to go back, you did what you did to save your dad's life."

"But how many others died because I saved my father? How many children lost their father Jack? How many parents lost children? I can never fix that."

All Jack could do now was hold Sam as she cried. Her confession startled him, even scared him a little. The thought of the NID threatening a seventeen year old girl that if she didn't do their work they would kill her father, that they would use a child to do their bidding scared him. The fact that they still threatened her life and now the life of their child pissed him off. He knew now that eventually he and Sam would be alright, if he could keep her safe long enough.