An Owners Guide To Ax(imilli-Esgarrouth-Isthill)

A Manual

Congratulations!

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of Aximilli, Earth's resident Aristh. To get maximum usage from your Ax, please read all of the instructions carefully.

What have I ordered?

You have ordered Aximilli-Esgarrouth-Isthill, The most difficult character yet. Ax comes equipped with all of the following:

- A Do-It-Yourself collapsible scoop (Some assembly required)

- Three bottles of aspirin.

- A box of cinnamon buns

Note: Removal of third item may result in spontaneous loss of life.

How to Assemble

If Ax is one of your first Characters, he will arrive inside of a large transparent crate. The transparency is to cut down on the claustrophobia all Andalites are prone to, but it will not be enough. Your Ax will experience dizziness and weakness after being let out of the box, and will require a wide area open to the sky to recuperate. Feeding Ax one of the cinnamon buns will help.

If you are an experienced owner of many characters, your Ax will not arrive in a box. This will cause some problems.

First off, if you are not a fast reader, by the time you get to this section it will be too late to receive any instructions. We are sorry if any irreversible damage has been caused to you, your property, or your Ax character.

If you are a fast reader you are probably dealing with a hyper andalite right now, and are wishing that we would just give you the freaking instructions before it's too late. So without further ado, here are your emergency instructions.

EMERGENCY INSTRUCTIONS: Please pay very, very close attention.

Your Ax will arrive carrying all of the afore mentioned items. He will arrive in human morph; He would not be capable of holding all of the items otherwise. The delivery man will have made sure that Ax makes it safely to the door, but after that he is not liable for anything that happens. You, my soon-to-be-weary friend, are on your own.

The first thing to do is to take the aspirin bottle. This may be breaking the number one rule of peaceful character co-existence, never taking items from your character, but trust us. You have to do it, You have to do it fast, and you have to do it now. Snatch it from him and race it to the nearest lockable place. Return as fast as you can and take the now empty cinnamon bun box from him. Yes, empty. Be thankful that it wasn't the aspirin, and throw out the box before he eats that too. Do not worry about the scoop, he will probably not be able to fit it into his mouth.

Your Ax will now be feeling highly energized from the whole box of cinnamon buns that he ate. This hyperness will wear out in two to four hours. You'll be wanting that aspirin before long.

Help! I didn't snatch the asprin fast enough, and my Ax ate it!

Don't panic. These aren't the only instructions in the world. Follow the ones on the back of the aspirin bottle. Unless, of course, he ate the bottle too. Then call 1800-OVERDOSE, or the poison control center nearest you.

Help! Ax is my first character, but he didn't come inside a box!

A terrible mistake has been made. Please follow the emergency instructions to the best of your abilities, and when you fail call 1800-REPLACEMENT for a new character, free of charge.

After Assembly

After Ax comes down from his sugar high, he will probably go to sleep. Use this opportunity to treat any injuries you have, and then set up Ax's scoop in any convenient outside area. Try to finish before Ax wakes up, or he will complain about a primitive human messing with his Andalite technology.

Added Info

There are several items that should be removed from your household before Ax sees them. For instance, you should never let Ax see any school books below college level. If he does, he will explain in great detail exactly how primitive humans are compared to andalites, and how 'real' math, science, chemistry, and physics works. All at one sitting. These moments are the reason we include three bottle of aspirin along with your Ax character.

Other times when you might need aspirin is if you take him out to eat. Of course, it is strongly recommended that he eats all of his meals at home and under intense supervision, but if you do take him out to eat, remember the aspirin.

What does Ax like to do?

What does Ax like to do? What does Ax not like to do? All aspects of human culture interest him, especially the television. He enjoys Soap Operas and commercials especially. Do not let him get to the science channel, or he will never, ever stop laughing. If you an overly sensitive person, perhaps an Ax character is just not for you.

Note: Please V-chip any shows above PG-13. Please.

In Conclusion

We hope that you enjoy you the newest (if not most arrogant) member of your family. If your Ax character appears lonely, consider purchasing one of the following characters:

- Tobias

- Elfangor

- Jake

The following characters are not recommended:

- Visser 3

- Drode

- Aldrea

As usual, we can be reached at 1800-REVIEW.