An Owners Guide To Erek King

A Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of Erek King, the pacifist alien android. You do not have to read these instructions if you do not feel like it, but if you do not you will probably regret it.

What have I ordered?

You have ordered Erek, a member of the ancient race of Chee. He comes complete with all of the following:

Pemalite Crystal

Chee maintenance kit

Spare parts

Major assembly required.

How To Assemble

When Erek arrives at your doorstep, he will be nothing but a half-ton pile of high-tech junk. Unless you find high-tech junk entertaining, you will want to put him together. Unless you happen to possess extraordinary engineering skills beyond normal human capacity, you will want to follow our simple twenty-step checklist below:

Erek Assembly checklist

Make sure that you have a weekend or other three day period free to spend constructing your Erek character. Chee building is a very demanding activity that requires your full attention, and the slightest distraction may prove disastrous.

Help! I don't have any time to work on my Erek character!

What are we, your social planners? Either make some time, or Erek is going to be collecting dust in the attic along with all of those other things you're going to 'get around to.'

Make sure that you own the following items, and are familiar with how to use them:

Hammer

Blow Torch

Wrench

Screwdriver

Coffee maker

Help! I don't know how to use a (insert tool)!

Don't panic. Go to the nearest bookstore and buy How to use tools for the hopeless dummy. Read it. And since they probably don't cover coffee makers, (Which is an essential tool to Chee building), all you do is plug it in.

Final preparations: Check to make sure that your insurance is in order. We shouldn't even have to tell you by now, but it doesn't hurt to check. You may also wear protective gear such as a helmet, goggles, gloves, etc. In all honesty it's not going to do much good, but you can use them if it makes you feel better.

Help! My insurance isn't in order!

Then you are obviously a complete and total newbie who should return Erek immediately and get yourself a nice Cassie or Tobias character.

Get a good night's rest. A sleepy mechanic is a dead mechanic.

After you have performed the usual morning ritual, Andalite or otherwise, you may begin construction. Choose a large, empty area, well ventilated and preferably within five feet of a telephone.

Assemble the Chee head, which you will use as a base part. Insert both mechanical eyes into the head case, attach the voice box and Scent-sor, and plug all four components into the central computer.

Warning: All of these components are extremely fragile, and you will NOT be receiving a refund if you break both the original and the spare, so gentleness is recommended.

Construct the Chee body according to diagram C-21. Install the violence inhibitor chip, the flow capacitors, and finally the nuclear reactor IN THAT ORDER. Triple check your work, cross your fingers, then press the big red button that says 'ON'.

Help! I didn't install the flow capacitors!

Don't panic. The nuclear reactor probably just overloaded without the flow capacitors to limit them, and exploded with the force of ninety thousand atomic bombs. We don't even know how you could possibly be reading this, because by every law in the universe you should be dead.

In the improbable event you do manage to read this, please realize that you have just killed every living thing on earth. Congratulations. In future lives we hope that you follow instructions better.

Help! I didn't install the nuclear reactor!

Don't panic. Return the big red button to it's 'OFF' state, insert the reactor, and turn it back on.

Help! I didn't install the violence inhibitor chip!

Don't panic. If you own a Mr. King, Lourdes, or Maria character, scream very loudly and they will most likely come to save you. If you do not own another Chee character, you can phone 1800-PEMALITESHIP. Hit the six button, and then you will be able to enter a transmission code. There are various kinds of commands you can have transmitted, but the one that you probably want is 4726, which deactivates all Chee within hearing distance of the phone. If Erek doesn't hear or you don't dial fast enough, we are in no way responsible for any harm that you may, and probably will, come to.

After Assembly

After assembly comes another task: Programming.

Along with a Erek comes a very special and powerful tool: A Class I Pemalite crystal. This powerful alien computer has the ability to change Erek's personality, abilities, memories, feelings, or even allow him to use violence. His programming defaults to normal Erek behavior, but you may change it however you see fit. We leave the creative details up to you.

Warning: We refuse to tolerate the use of characters for mass murdering, fighting wars, or attempts at world domination. If we receive complaints of any of the above activities, we will immediately deactivate and confiscate all of your characters. Further more, your will be banned from ever purchasing any of our characters again.

And even further more, you'll probably be going to a high security prison also. The law does not take these sort of things lightly.

What does Erek like to do?

Now, even though he is a machine, Erek is a living, sentient being who deserves to be treated with respect. Encoded deep inside of him, no matter how hard you try to program it away, is a dislike for all violent activities, a love for all canines, and a preference for English muffins. All he asks is to be treated the way that you would treat anybody else, and for the occasional tune up, and he will be happy.

How to maintain you Erek

Use the special Chee Maintenance kit included with you character. If you don't know how to use it, Erek will be happy to teach you. That's basically all there is to maintenance, besides watching his cholesterol intake.

Added Info

Erek enjoys dogs.

In Conclusion

We hope that you enjoy the newest (if not most robotic) member of your family. If your

Erek character appears to be lonely, please program him to deal with it or consider

purchasing one of the following characters:

Mr. King

Marco

Pemalite

The Howlers, the Yeerks, and Fluffer McKitten are not recommended.

All comments and questions should be directed to 1800-REVIEW.