(Dodges various unpleasant objects being thrown by readers)
MEEP! Okay! Okay! Here! An update! Chapter five! Take it! Take it and spare my pitiful life!
To Carcaohtar: (Blush!) Aw, thanks! (whew!) I'm glad the 'gay bar' scene didn come off too strongly…thanks, as always, for the review!
To Lyn: # blasted review-eating…thingamabobber! I'm so glad you liked the Bug-eye bandit and Lynx. I think you will be most surprised with them as the story progresses (FORSHADOWING FORSHADOW-Y-NESS-NESS OF DOOOMMMM!) Thanks for the review!
To FireFlyOfLight457: Yay Dogen! Yay next chapter! Thanks for the review!
To LazyCrazySugarHighChick: I'm still in it! E-mail what you've got to me whenever you get the chance and I'll edit it whenever I get the chance XD! Schoolwork of DOOM is killing me here…
Chapter 5 (About Damn Time)
Yet again, Raz didn't get much sleep. His dreams were plagued this time by being tossed around unable to move or see in an airplane. He was being assaulted both verbally and physically. Even though he couldn't make out what the voices were saying, he could tell by the tone that the remarks were vicious and directed toward him. After about the twelfth time he'd waken up trembling and in a cold sweat, it was five in the morning, so he decided to spare himself another nightmare and just haul himself out of bed and begin the day. He could already hear someone rustling around in the kitchen.
Dogen froze when Raz walked into the kitchen. After a moment, he smiled at Raz.
"Sorry, it just kinda all feels like a dream still…" Dogen said sheepishly. Raz returned a tired smile.
"Don't worry about it. I'm already used to it. Fred, Boyd, Quentin, Phoebe, and Lili have ogled me the same way ever since I got my identity back." Raz said.
"Did you sleep okay last night, Raz? You look awful." Dogen said. Raz shrugged.
"I've had nightmares every night for over a month. Don't worry about me. I'm used to it. Coffee perks me right up." Raz said. Dogen sighed and slid him a mug of said hot caffeinated liquid.
"Then drink up, pal." Dogen said.
"Dogen, I love you." Raz sighed, taking a sip of the dark liquid. Dogen laughed.
"You haven't changed much." Dogen said. Raz smiled and shrugged. He watched Dogen as he opened the window and invited a few squirrels inside to much on a plate of nuts on the counter.
"And you haven't changed much either." Raz said. Dogen chuckled and shrugged.
"God, for seven years, I've thought about you every day and now that you're here, it's like you were never gone." Dogen said. Raz snorted.
"Wait till the press gets wind that I'm back…that ought to make it feel different." Raz said. Dogen rolled his eyes.
"Yeah. They had a freaking field day with your disappearance. You were on practically every channel. Memorials and biographies, exclusives and inside scoops, and this, that and the other. The media wouldn't leave us alone. It didn't exactly help anyone's mood." Dogen said.
"Yeah, if I recall correctly, my 'death' stirred up a lot of trouble. They had all those petitions for outlawing anyone under the age of 18 from joining the agency and then people wanted to charge Truman with murder for allowing me to stay in the agency…" Raz said.
"Yeah, it got pretty ugly." Dogen said.
"I do not look forward to dealing with the press. They were a pain in the ass when I was a cute little ten year old, they're going to be twice the pain in the ass now that I'm twenty." Raz said.
"Yep. I don't envy you there." Dogen said.
"Morning, boys." Lili said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, Lili." Dogen said. Raz and Lili shared a brief kiss before Lili sat down beside Raz. Dogen watched them with a warm smile.
"I always knew you'd end up together." Dogen sighed. Lili rolled her eyes.
"I could have told you that. I took ownership of Raz's ass back when we first met." Lili said. Raz sighed.
"It's true. She owns me. I'm like her dog on a leash." Raz said. Lili suddenly wrapped her scarf around Raz's neck like a collar and leash and sat in his lap.
"That's right, and you won't ever be running away from me like that again." Lili said. She kissed Raz briefly on the lips before slipping her scarf off of him and resuming her seat.
"Yes, master." Raz said with a small smile.
"So, um, I gotta go to work here in a few minutes. Will you two be coming back to spend the night again tonight?" Dogen asked.
"I'm not sure, Dogen. It all depends on how things go." Raz said.
"Oh…m'kay. Well, stay as long as you want and make yourselves at home. My house is your house. Lili knows where I keep the spare key." Dogen said, picking up his coffee cup and briefcase.
"Good luck you two." Dogen said.
"Thanks, Dogen. Have a good day at work." Raz said.
"M'kay. Bye guys." Dogen said. Just as he was opening the door to leave, it burst open, making Dogen stagger backward. Someone darted inside and quickly pushed the door shut behind them. A blonde woman with blue eyes wearing the tell tale uniform of a doctor stood in the doorway, out of breath as she looked out the window to see if she had been spotted.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Dogen…" She said, helping Dogen to his feet.
"Where are they?" She asked. Dogen pointed to the kitchen. The woman looked up and ran to them, beaming from ear to ear.
"Oh my god, I mean…my visions are always right, but still…" She laughed. She reached out and touched Raz's arm to make sure he was really there.
"Elka?" Raz asked.
"Welcome back, Razputin." Elka chuckled. She shook hands with Raz.
"You saw this coming?" Raz asked with a small smile.
"Yes, about an hour ago. I forsaw you coming to meet me and…well…it went terribly arwy…so, I came here to meet you to prevent it." Elka explained, still a little out of breath.
"I already know how you came to be here and what you want to ask me and the answer is yes…" Elka said.
"Yes? You mean…" Raz asked.
"Yes. I'll join the rebellion and I'll tell Nils all about it. I'm sure he'll join too, and I'm already looking for a way to revive Elton, but I can only join under one condition." Elka said.
"What's the condition?" Lili asked.
"You guys need to go to New Jersey right away and find Benny!" Elka said.
"What? Why? Is he in New Jersey?" Raz asked. Elka nodded.
"I saw it in a vision. Benny's definitely in New Jersey." Elka said.
"Why is it so urgent that we find him?" Lili asked.
"Because…the vision was really choppy…but it ended with Maloof and Mikhail both lying dead in an alleyway! According to my vision, I believe Benny still has connections to Maloof. I don't know what's going on, but you have to track Benny down in New Jersey, find Maloof and Mikhail, and prevent whatever the hell is going on from getting them both killed; and whatever is going to happen will happen soon, so action must be taken quickly." Elka said. Lili, Dogen, and Raz gaped at her. Elka's foot tapped the floor impatiently.
"Are you going to stand there and stare like a couple of retarded fish, or are you going to do something?!" Elka asked.
"Of course we will!" Raz said.
"Good. We'll be in contact. Right now, I gotta get to work before someone suspects something. Good luck." Elka said before slipping out the door.
"Well…that was a hell of a lot easier than I anticipated…" Raz said dumbly.
"Come with me. I'll drop you off at the bus station on my way to work." Dogen said.
Just hours later, Lili and Raz stepped off the bus and onto New Jersey soil. The two looked around silently.
"Okay. We're in New Jersey. We got that much done. So…now what?" Raz asked. He and Lili stared at each other and shrugged simultaneously. They both chuckled in embarrassment.
"Okay…uh…well, we can't go door to door and search every home in New Jersey for him…" Lili said. Raz nodded. The two took a seat on a nearby bench and thought. As Raz absently watched the young man working the ticket booth, an idea struck him. He sprung to his feet and turned to face Lili.
"Maybe he's listed in the phone book!" Raz said.
Not sixty seconds later, Lili and Raz were inside a telephone booth searching the phone book.
"Fidel, Bonnie; Fidela, Norman; Fidelea, Ella; ah ha! Fideleo, Benny!" Raz cried.
"Great! Write down the address and let's get moving!" Lili said.
Meanwhile, back in France, a great ruckus was going down at the Bonaparte Mannor. Fred scrambled down the hall in an attempt to evade Boyd.
"Police! Halt!" Boyd yelled as he ran after Fred. Fred grabbed a sword that was mounted on a nearby wall.
"Drop your weapon and get your hands in the air!" Boyd yelled.
"Make me!" Fred cried. Boyd rushed Fred and managed to trip him up. While Fred was trying to regain his balance, Boyd wrenched the still sheathed sword from Fred's hands and used it to sweep Fred's legs out from under him. Once Fred went down, Boyd pounced onto him and wrestled his hands behind his back.
"Gotcha now! I'm taking you down town, buddy! You're under arrest for vandalism, threatening a police officer, resisting arrest, and possession of a deadly weapon." Boyd said triumphantly. Fred smirked at Boyd as they both gasped for breath. Anita laughed and clapped and cheered as she caught up to the two men.
"You may have caught and subdued me, but you've made one fatal error, my friend." Fred panted.
"What might that me?" Boyd asked.
"You've failed to read me my rights. You gotta let me go." Fred said. He laughed and Boyd groaned and cursed as he clambered off of Fred. Anita groaned as well. Fred stood up and straightened out his clothes.
"You were so close zat time!" Anita said.
"You gotta remember to recite their rights, Boyd!" Fred said. Boyd sighed.
"Damn…I thought for sure that I got it right that time!" Boyd said.
"You did great on the pursuit, disarming, and capture, though." Fred said. "Now, what are my Veranda rights?"
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you." Boyd recited monotonously.
"Very good." Fred said. Suddenly, he grabbed Anita by the wrist and pulled her to him. So that her back was to his chest. Fred picked up a decorative candle stick off of a nearby table and held it to Anita's head.
"Alright, Officer Cooper. I have a hostage, now! What do you plan to do now?" Fred asked sinisterly. Anita giggled.
"I sink zat ze real question is, what do YOU plan to do wis zat candlestick, Monsieur Fred?" Anita asked.
"Aw, you're spoiling my fun, Anita! Just be a good hostage and fear my candlestick of your waxy doom, won't you?" Fred asked. Anita laughed.
"You fiend! 'Elp! Oh, someone! Anyone! Please, 'elp! Zis deranged mad man! 'E is sretening me with zis sharp, scary candlestick! Someone save me, please! I am too young to wax!" Anita cried dramatically. Boyd and Fred couldn't help but laugh. Fred let out an evil cackle.
"Yes! One step closer, officer Cooper, and ze girl vill be kaput! I vill keel her wis my candlestick of ze vaxy doom!" Fred cackled.
"Release the girl and surrender yourself, Candlestick Caper!" Boyd cried.
"And vat vill you do if I refuse?" Fred asked. "Srow your shoe at me?"
"No, but I've got ten other officers surrounding the place who are ready to throw the book at you!" Boyd said. Fred laughed.
"You sink I vould belive zat? You are stupeeder zan you look if you sink I vould fall for somesing as simple as zat!" Fred said. Boyd took a step closer to Fred and Fred took a step back. With every step Boyd took toward him, Fred would take one step away from Boyd.
"You know, candlestick caper, once upon a time, I worked at a Super Hall-Mart. I worked mostly in the shoe department, and people would spend hours there trying on shoes of every shape, size, color, and style. But you know what? They were never satisfied. The shoes would be too small or too large or the wrong color or the wrong style or too wide or too thin…too classy, too drab, too flashy, too ugly, too pricy…whatever. the point is, no one ever bought shoes from Super Hall-Mart, because their shoe selection and quality sucked. So, whenever you need to buy shoes, you shouldn't go to a Super Hall-Mart; you should go to a store that specializes in shoes." Boyd said. Fred raised an eyebrow at Boyd.
"And how is zat story pertinent to ze situation?" Fred asked. Boyd shrugged. Suddenly, he dashed forward and pulled Anita from Fred's grasp and pushed Fred backwards. Boyd quickly put himself between Anita and Fred and pushed Fred back again, seizing the candlestick from Fred's hand. Fred bumped into the wall and Boyd pounced, wrestling Fred's arms behind his back.
"It meant absolutely nothing. I just made it up to keep you busy." Boyd chuckled.
"You're under arrest for kidnapping and resisting arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the charges against you?" Boyd asked.
"I do." Fred said.
"Do you have any illegal substances on you? Tell me now, or you'll be in even more trouble if I find them when I search you." Boyd said.
"No illegal substances." Fred said.
"Do you have any weapons on you? A gun or knife or anything that might poke me?" Boyd asked.
"I have a pocket knife in my left side pocket" Fred said. Boyd smiled and released Fred. Fred turned slowly to Boyd.
"Well? How'd I do that time?" Boyd asked. Anita crossed her fingers.
"Good thinking on the shoe story. I was so distracted by it that I allowed you to back me into a corner. Well done!" Fred said. "You passed! Congratulations!"
Anita cheered and gave Boyd a quick peck on his cheek.
"Oh! My 'ero!" She said dramatically. Boyd struck a heroic pose and grinned. Fred laughed and rolled his eyes. He patted Boyd on the back.
"You're going to do great tomorrow, Boyd. I know you'll pass." Fred said. He straightened up and brushed off his clothes.
"But right now, I gotta take Anita to the train station so she can get back home." Fred said. Anita hugged Boyd.
"Good luck tomorrow, Monsieur Boyd. I wish I could be zere to cheer you on. I know you will make a wonderful officer of ze law!" Anita said. She kissed him once on each cheek.
"Thanks, Anita. You have a safe trip, okay?" Boyd said. Anita nodded.
"I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Boyd. Get a good night's sleep tonight, go over the stuff we talked about, and eat a balanced breakfast tomorrow morning." Fred said.
"Yes, mother." Boyd chuckled. Fred glared at Boyd playfully.
"Get outta my house, you pest!" Fred said, opening the door for Boyd. Boyd donned a sad expression.
"Well…I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll just…be on my way now…" Boyd whimpered. Fred rolled his eyes and scooped up a handful of snow off of the ground and hurled it at Boyd. Boyd yelped and dashed out of the gates of the Bonaparte Estate.
"You haven't heard the last of me, Bonaparte! I'll be back! You may have won this battle, but the war is far from over, my friend!" Boyd hollered as he took off down the street in the direction of his own home. Fred chuckled.
"Bulls-eye!" Fred said. Anita giggled.
"You and Monsieur Boyd have a very sweet friendship." Anita said. For some reason that Fred couldn't fathom, his heart sunk at her words. He pulled his jacket tighter around him.
"Friendship…right…yeah…I guess we do." Fred said.
Thisisthelinethatmeansthesceneischangingthisisthelinethatmeansthesceneischanging
We change our scene to a beautiful theatre in an average sized New Jersey city. The theatre was almost empty. The only people there were the actors as they rehearsed for the opening night of their performance.
Benny Fideleo sighed and rolled his eyes as the dancers on stage tripped over one another. He held up his hands, signaling for the music to stop.
"People, people, people! What the hell was that?! Ladies, you look like your about to go into convulsions! And gentlemen, you look way too stiff! You keep staring at your feet and hopping around like something's biting your ankles!" Benny said. "This is supposed to be a very sensual dance number! I need your movements to be sharp and meaningful, like a big cat on the hunt!"
"The dance is a mixture between tap and tango…" Benny said. "It's all about purposeful and graceful, well calculated, sharp movements."
"Ladies, try to let your body move more naturally and gents, don't be so shy about taking the lead." Benny explained. The actors all nodded, finally understanding the dance.
"Alright, one more time, from the top." Benny said, signaling for the music to start again. Benny was so focused on scrutinizing the dancers that he didn't notice Raz and Lili enter the theatre. Raz and Lili applauded when the dance number ended. It wasn't until then that Benny noticed that he had company. He turned around to see who his audience was.
His expression was a mix of shock, dread, and confusion when he laid eyes upon the two. He paled slightly. An awkward silence settled over the theater. Benny turned to the performers with a sheepish smile.
"R-right. That was much, much better, everyone. Good job. Let's call it a wrap for tonight. I want everyone to practice hard. Next time we meet, I want to see some major improvement. I know you guys will blow 'em out of the water when opening night comes around." Benny said. He wished everyone a good night and dismissed the actors.
Lili and Raz stood patiently in the same spot until the theatre was empty. There was a loud creak as Benny closed the doors. His footsteps echoed as he turned to face Lili and Raz. For the longest time, the theater was deathly quiet. Neither parties said a word.
At long last, Benny hesitantly began to make his way toward Raz and Lili. His slow, uncertain footsteps echoed eerily through the theater. His eyes were fixated on Raz.
"I-is…Is this a trick of the theater lights?" Benny whispered, taking another hesitant step toward Raz and Lili.
"Or a trick of my own mind?" Benny asked softly. He paused a good ten yards from Raz and Lili; squinting to see them.
"Razputin Aquato?" Benny inquired hesitantly. Raz gave him a simple, curt nod.
"I am he." Raz said nonchalantly.
"But you are dead." Benny stated, his tone reflecting that he was deep in thought. Intrigue was the prominent expression on his face.
"So I've been told." Raz said nonchalantly. Benny's gaze shifted to Lili.
"And, naturally, you are accompanied by Lili Zanotto…" Benny said thoughtfully, taking a few more steps toward them. "A slightly less surprising development; but still…intriguing…"
"Good to see you too, Benny." Lili said sarcastically. Raz caught a glimmer of amusement in Benny's eyes.
"Now…what would bring an old acquaintance of mine…the daughter of the former Grand Head, and her deceased boyfriend; the world's youngest secret agent, who is also an old acquaintance, here to this humble New Jersey theater? Is it by chance that our paths should cross, or a reason less mystical?" Benny asked.
"Option B. We've come here to find you." Lili said.
"Somehow, I doubt you're here just to say hello." Benny said.
"Damn right." Lili said. Raz stopped her before she could speak again.
"We come to you with a proposition." Raz said. "We need your help."
"With what?" Benny asked, a glimmer of distrust flickering in his eyes.
"We're recruiting for a revolution." Raz said. Benny's eyebrows climbed up his forehead. He looked interested. He seemed to understand what Raz was getting at.
"We're going to need all the help we can get." Raz said, approaching Benny. "All the help we can get."
Benny looked nervous.
"You know where he is, don't you, Benny?" Raz asked. Benny swallowed thickly.
"I don't know who you're talking about." Benny said.
"He's caught up in something dangerous, isn't he?" Raz asked. Benny had the deer-in-the-headlights look.
"We're here to help him, Benny. He's in great danger right now; and if you don't tell us where he is, Elka said that he's going to wind up dead; probably sometime in the very near future." Raz said. Benny paled dramatically.
"What's Maloof gotten himself into, Benny?" Lili asked. Benny took a deep breath and plopped down into a chair.
"The mafia." Benny whispered.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Sorry…I know…I took forever to update and the chapter is short - - …