heres the ext chapter sorry it took so long been busy. thanks for all the reviews they made me super happy. i know im speeding things up pretty quick but i have another idea for a fanfic and i really wanna start on it but not until im done this one. i can only handle so many stories at a time.PLZ R&R tell me if theres something you really want to happen to them and maybe i'l add it in dont really know . i own nada of instant star.

Forgiving, But Not Forgetting?

Jude's POV

Okay just breath, breathe, can't have a panic attack now.

Looking out at the crowd I couldn't help but be nervous. This seemed to happen every time I preformed, I'd get all nervous and then I'd relax.

Trying to be casual about it, I tried to see if Sadie was in the crowd, I needed some kind of support, even if it was from Sadie. I finally spotted her but, I was disappointed to see, she wasn't paying attention to me or the stage, just trying to flirt with some guys.

Fine then if she doesn't need me, then I don't need her.

As I walked to the center of the stage I felt a kind of calm go through me, like my body knew before I did that everything would be alright.

Here goes nothing.

Tommy's POV

Looking up at Jude on the stage I couldn't help but admire her, sure she'd given me the brush off earlier, but even with all the drama in her life she'll still be able to sound amazing up their.

I made myself pay more attention, since she was just about to start. I really wanted to know what her lyrics would be, they always seemed to give me an idea of how she was feeling.

Its strange to think the songs we used to sing

The smiles, the flowers, everything; is gone

Yesterday I found out about you

Even now I'm just looking at you; feels wrong

You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes.

God she's talking to about us. She sound's fantastic, but I can still hear the pain in her voice. I really hadn't meant to hurt her!! She has no idea what I would do if i could just turn back time to that night and not do what I did.

You should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice before you let it all go

You should've known that word, bout what you did with her

Would get back to me… get back to me

And I should've been there, in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet…

You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

Oh Jude, why dud I have to be so damn stupid? Why couldn't I have kept my damn hormones under control? If I had then I might have been with you right now.

You can see that I've been crying

And baby you know all the right things; to say

But do you honestly expect me to believe

We could ever be the same…..

I hadn't thought I'd actually made you cry!! I thought you were just pissed at me, not that I had made you so sad and miserible that you would start crying!!

Jude's POV

You say that the past is the past, you need one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes….

You should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice before you let it all go

You should've known that word, bout what you did with her

Would get back to me… get back to me

And I should've been there, in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging forgiveness at my feet….

You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

How could he have expected me to just accept him after everything? Like just because it was a one time thing made it any less worse!! If you had really cared about me you would've been thinking about what you were doing to me when you slept with Sadie.

I can't resist.. Before you go, tell me this

Was it worth it…

Was she worth this….

I actually would like to know. Was sleeping with Sadie worth everything that was happening now? Was brushing me off time and time again worth all the fighting, the pain, the heartache?

No.. no no no….

Some how I doubt that you thought it was worth everything but I couldn't be sure, since you did sleep with her. You hadn't even tried to hide it!! I mean come on you had to of been wanting to get caught, doing that our house!!!

You should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice before you let it all go

You should've known that word, bout what you did with her

Would get back to me… get back to me

And I should've been there, in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be asking for forgiveness at my feet…

You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

As I ended the song I couldn't help but feel like crying. I had tried to pour out every hurt feeling, every time my heart had been crushed by an idiot guy. I might have gone to far considering how emotional it has gotten me. As I started to get off the stage I saw Tommy trying to work his way towards me, and I admit I freaked a little bit. I tried to hurry to the dressing room and lock the door, so he wouldn't be able to even come close to me, but since he wasn't wearing a dress he could walk much faster than me, and cornered me just before I could step in.

"Jude we really need to talk. Now." Just the way he said it I knew he wouldn't except any argument on my part so I just followed him in. I knew I'd have to forgive him someday I just really didn't want it to have to be today.

The sooner we get this over with the better.

Tommy's POV

"Jude, I am so sorry. I love you do you know that? I just.." arrgg, why can't I just say it? Why does my stupid head have to always screw things up? "… I just .. your age was always a big deal to me okay? I've tried everything I could to make sure I didn't fall for you, cause to be honest, you deserve better than me, but I just couldn't stop myself. Your everything I've ever wanted. The thing with Sadie, well really don't know why I did what I did. I feel absolutely nothing for her, and I'm not trying to make excuses, but I was just wanting you so badly that night, that I let my hormones rule over my head. You're the last person I would ever want to hurt Jude. Please tell me you believe me!!!"

I had been pacing back and forth as I was talking but once I finished I made myself stop and look at Jude's face.

At first all I saw was pain, then disbelief, some anger. Then i think that maybe, just maybe, a little bit of love? I could only hope. I couldn't lose her know not after finally realizing how much I needed her.

"Tommy I just can't keep doing this. I really thought you might be different but after everything you've done I'm just not sure anymore. I can forgive you if that's what you really want, but Tommy I just can't get into a relationship with you. You just went to far, and you brought Sadie and me down with you. So I'll continue working with you but that's it. I won't put myself through this again. And about earlier well I really did not want that too happen. There will be no repeats and I just want us to forget it even happened. Ok?"

As she was talking I could see her gradually falling apart. I really wanted to do as she said and leave her alone romantically, but I knew I wouldn't be able. I'd win her back one way or another. She needed me as much as I needed her. I just have to prove it to her.

"No Jude, it's not okay. How could you even think I could forget what we shared. It meant more to me than you could ever imagine!! I really am sorry about everything I've done to you, and I wish that what we shared could have happened at a better time, I will never regret it and I don't want you to either."

"Tommy I-I just have to go. Please just leave me alone. I can't take this or you so just back the fuck off!!!!

With that Jude quickly left the room. I understood why she was so mad and sad. I also knew I'd have my work cut out for me, to make up for Sadie and then for taking her virginity when she was so confused, but I knew somehow I would. With that thought in my head I decided to start right now. Taking out my phone I knew just the thing to start with.

Jude's POV

When he had started to speak I had, had a sort of revelation. I was still mad at him, but I knew that if I didn't forgive him I would never be able to get over him. Sure I was still in love with him, but I could get over that, given enough time.

If only he had promised to leave me alone, but I'm pretty sure he's going to do everything to try and get me to change my mind.

As I re-entered the crowd I tried to think of an excuse to get me out of here, without making Darius or anyone else mad. Maybe I could pretend to be sick, say I had thrown up or something. He wouldn't let me be any where near these people if he thought I was going to throw up on them.

Since that was probably the only way he'd let me go, I tried to make myself look as sick as possible, and after I mentioned throwing up he told me to go home.

Walking away from Darius I couldn't help but think of how my life had changed in such a short time. I had gone from being invisible to being a rock star, from hating Tommy for being a boybander to loving him for just being himself, then back to hating him for sleeping with Sadie and now I was right back at loving him.

Why is life so hard? So unfair? So damn screwed up? If you hate someone you should stay hating them not all of a sudden fall in love with them.

"Stupid Tommy with his stupid charm and stupid decieving good looks." I started mumbling to myself as I reached my car and took out my keys. I had known all of this at the beginning and still I had let myself fall.

Still mad at myself I started the car and drove back to my apartment. Once I found a parking space I went into the building and started up to my apartment.

When I got there I found myself being completely shocked. There was a florist sitting outside my apartment with what looked like at least 20 different bouquets of flowers. When he saw me coming he stood up immediately.

"Are you Jude Harrison by any chance?"

"Yes why?"

"Well these are all for you. I was requested to wait with them until you got back to make sure you got them. I was told you would know who they were from?"

"Yes, I have a pretty good idea of who sent them." I replied tersely, really wanting him to just leave.

"Well if you could just sign here I will be able to leave you alone."

Signing quickly, I really couldn't believe what he'd done. I had told him to leave me alone!! And what does he do? Buys me a bunch of stupid flowers.

Looking up I discovered the man had left while I had been preoccupied by my thoughts.

Taking out my apartment key, I opened my apartment door and started to bring all the flowers in. Once they were all inside I locked up my apartment and decided to see if they had any cards with them. As mad as I was with Tommy for sending me them I was kind of touched. No one else had ever sent me flowers, especially not this many.

Knowing I was weakening I tried to think of all the thing he'd done, which helped slightly, by getting me a bit mad at him.

When I looked at the cards though I knew I was doomed. Each said something different.

One said I'm sorry, another said Please forgive me?, while another saidI love you. Reading some more I found one that said I cant live with out you and then the last one I read surprised me the most. It said Marry Me? I ask him to leave me alone, and his reply is to ask me to MARRY him?

What the fuck??????