An Owners Guide To Alloran

A Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of Alloran-Semitur-Corass. The following instructions should be read. (That is why they're here, after all.)

What have I ordered?

You have ordered War-Prince Alloran, the temperamental, only-slightly-insane Butcher of the Hork-Bajir. He comes complete with all of the following:

- All morphs shown in the commercial

- The Jahar

- Quantum-Virus Container

- Shredder

- Patented Alloran-Attitude Technology

Note: Do not tamper with any of the above items, or Alloran will do Bad Things to you.

How To Assemble

Alloran will arrive on your porch, inside of a miniature version of The Jahar. Near the door of the ship will be a large, inviting red button. Do not press that button. Instead, you should go to the back of the ship and unscrew a massive steel cap. Make sure that a large piece of foil underneath it, with the words "Do not use if seal is broken" printed repeatedly upon it, is still intact.

If it is, peel it off, and then proceed to remove a lot of annoying plastic restraint wires from Alloran and all included items.

Help! I pressed the large, red inviting button!

Don't panic. The Jahar has simply imploded, destroying whatever was inside, and rendering itself useless as well. If Alloran was inside of The Jahar, he has been destroyed, and you will not be receiving a replacement. If Alloran was not inside of The Jahar, however, you should either run for your life, or beg Alloran for forgiveness. The former is strongly, strongly suggested.

Help! The large piece of foil isn't intact!

Don't panic. To prevent the possible release of a tampered with Quantum-Virus, run around to the front of the ship as quickly as possible and press the large red button. The ship will implode, producing sufficient pressure and heat to nullify the virus before it mutates to your DNA and kills all of humanity. Phew.

After Assembly

Your Alloran Character, unfortunately for you, will not be claustrophobic after traveling inside of The Jahar. He will actually be quite alert, so you must act quickly.

Immediately after exiting from The Jahar, he will demand that you place his ship inside of your garage. If you own an Elfangor, Visser 3, or Visser 1 character and have kept their ships, garage sharing issues will arise.

Elfangor: If Elfangor wants to keep his fighter inside of the garage, Alloran should be able to bully him into moving it without too much trouble. If you don't want Alloran to do that, explain to Elfangor about the situation. Elfangor knows how much The Jahar means to Alloran, and will probably move his fighter.

Visser 3: Visser 3, being Visser 3, thinks that the garage is reserved solely for himself. You can try explaining to him that it is not, but he won't listen and may chop your head off if he is annoyed. The best solution is to tell him that Visser 1 moved her empire ship when you asked her to. This will make him move his also, in an attempt to be 'just as good' as she is.

Visser 1: Visser 1, just to tick off the other three, will want to keep her Empire ship inside of the garage. She won't listen to reason, and Alloran's threats don't faze her. You can either trash her Empire Ship and have it dropped in the Pacific Ocean, or bribe her. Empire Ship trashers have been proven to live 98 shorter lives than non-Empire Ship trashers, so Empire Ship trashing is not recommended. When attempting to bribe Visser 1, possible bribing items include increased authority, extra dracon beam ammo, and/or more flakies.

You: If YOU would like to keep the garage for yourself, maybe to actually keep your car inside of, there are two choices. You can ask Alloran, Elfangor, Visser 1, and Visser 3 nicely for the garage. Or you can manipulate them by telling Visser 3 that Visser 1 wants the garage and vice versa. Then, give Elfangor a guilt tablet and tell Alloran that Elfangor is trying to keep his yellow mustang in the garage, and tell Elfangor that Alloran wants to keep The Jahar in there. This will keep them struggling against each other for an indeterminable amount of time, and you will be free to claim it for yourself. Of course, if they find out what you are pulling, we are not responsible for the funeral expenses.

After all garage issues have or have not been settled, Alloran will take his Quantum Virus and Shredder into the house and claim a room for his own. Unless you have placed a large banner over a room with the words "ALLORAN'S ROOM" In big bold letters, he'll choose a small, private room. If this room is the bathroom, different living arrangements may have to be worked out.

What does Alloran like to do?

Alloran spends most of his time tinkering with The Jahar. When he's not doing that he likes designing and building human vehicles and machines. Alloran is also very interested in politics and governments, though mainly when it comes to pointing out their shortcomings and faults.

Alloran enjoys social life, and likes to spend time with loved ones. His friendship and respect, though hard to earn, are one of the greatest that you'll ever know.

Despite his Patented Alloran Attitude Technology, Alloran can be fun and lighthearted when he feels like it. If you own a Marco character, the two will appreciate each other's different brands of humor. Alloran will not appreciate his practical jokes, however.

How to maintain your Alloran

Alloran feels that it is his duty to participate in war. He doesn't enjoy it much, but feels that he can do the job better or as well as anyone else. Keep the number of battles as low as possible, and ask the phone company to block the Army recruiters. This reduces the risk of Alloran being killed. Other than that, Alloran should stay away from Visser 3, and eat 2 servings of crabgrass and 4 servings of field grass per day. His African wild grass intake should be kept to a minimum.

In Conclusion

We hope that you enjoy the newest (if not most complex) member of your family. If your Alloran character appears to be lonely, please consider purchasing one of the following characters:

- Jahar

- His children

- Feyorn

Visser 3 and The Andalite Council are not recommended.

Contact 1800-REVIEW to express you comments, concerns, and complaints.