The traditional J/H shipper will definitely hate me for this chapter. I hate that I had to write this chapter because it's so obvious things could have been different but this is how I thought it should go in a world where you don't always get what you first wanted and when you find you want something different. I love Jackie and Hyde together and I was sorely tempted… but this is not their story, it is Jackie and Eric's story. Things do not necessarily turn out perfectly for Hyde but I'll try not to make him suffer too much (though sometimes I think he deserves it.) Lots of dialogue and angst to spare!

Chapter 25:

December 22nd , 1981

The next day passed in a relatively calm way. Jackie helped Mrs. Forman with Christmas decorations and Eric and Red were actually spending some "quality time" together. This meant drinking beer and admiring Red's new Corvette in the garage.

The only exciting thing that happened was when Fez and Laurie came over for lunch. Fez burst into the house like a cannon once again. He flitted back and forth between helping the women decorate the house and tree and trying to talk to Red and Eric. But Red made him stand in the doorway leading to the garage, asserting that he would not let the foreigner within twenty feet of his car. He also refused to give him any beer, much to Fez's chagrin.

Jackie only saw Hyde twice. Once for breakfast and again for lunch. Both times, he was uncharacteristically quiet and looked like he hadn't slept much.

He came into the kitchen while Kitty was showing Jackie and Laurie how to make fruitcake. Not saying anything, he got a glass of water and left again.

Jackie's eyes followed him out. Now was as good a time as any she guessed.

"Um, Mrs. Forman. I'm not feeling very well. I think I'm going to go lie down for a little while," she lied.

"Oh, do you need anything, honey? An aspirin?" Kitty asked.

"No, no, I just need to lie down. I'll be back in a little while."

Jackie passed Eric and Red who had returned to the living room. She caught Eric's eye and gave him a meaningful look. He nodded back in understanding. She went up the stairs. She had seen Hyde go into another one of the bedrooms up here earlier. Arriving at the door she knocked softly.

"Yeah, come in."

Feeling slightly nervous but resolved, Jackie opened the door. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

Hyde was lying on the bed, his hands behind his head. His eyes were closed.

"What do you want, Jackie?"

"How did you know it was me?" she asked.

"Recognised your knock," he said. He hadn't moved and he wasn't throwing her out, so she walked further inside the room.

It was dark. The blinds were drawn.

"God, Steven. Would it kill you to turn on a light?" she asked in an irritated tone.

"Is that what you came in here for?"

Jackie stepped carefully through the room and flipped on the lamp on the bedside table, "No."

"Well, what do you want then?"

"To talk to you," she sat in a chair near the bed.

"Oh yeah? Does Forman know you are up here?"

"He knows."

He scoffed, "Really… Fine. Spit it out then."

"Something is wrong with you."

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"Both, I guess," she said.

"Even if there was, it is none of your business, Jackie."

"You're right but if there is I think you should at least talk to Eric. He's worried about you."

Hyde shook his head and rubbed his eyes, "He is, is he? Well, that's Forman for you, always worrying about something."

"Like you would even know," Jackie shot back.

"Are you done now?"

"No."

"Well, hurry the hell up. I'm getting tired of listening to your babble."

Jackie took a deep breath, "I need closure."

Hyde scoffed and Jackie could see his eyes had opened underneath his shades.

"Closure for what?"

She scowled at him, "You know what for."

"Are you serious? I married someone else Jackie, how much more closure do you need?"

Jackie couldn't deny that stung a bit.

"I need real closure, Steven. You getting married to a stripper when you were drunk doesn't count as closure."

"Doesn't it, huh? Because I thought that it would be a pretty damn good indicator."

"No, it doesn't. Now stop it, Steven."

"Jackie, I don't owe you anything. It's done and in the past. You said so yourself."

She clenched her jaw, "Alright… fine, I'll accept that. But look, I know that something is up with you-"

"And you care?"

"Yes, I care," Jackie said indignantly, "No matter what you think about me now or then, no matter what kind of horrible monster I am to you… I- I loved you, Steven. And I still care about you."

Hyde let out a dry laugh, "You know what? Save it, Jackie. Don't start with that 'I still care' bullshit. You've never given a damn about anyone but yourself."

Jackie stood up and whispered dangerously, "You know that is not true!"

Hyde sat up and stood to face her, "Do I?"

"Yes," she said, refusing to be intimidated.

Hyde seemed to be sizing her up as they glared at one another, "What is it you need for your closure then? Tell me and then get the hell out."

"I want to know why."

"Why what?"

Jackie sniffled a little, the memories churning below the surface were threatening to pull her back down but she refused to give in to the pain, "Why did you stay married to that skanky stripper after you told me you weren't ready to marry me?"

Hyde chuckled maliciously, "Do you really have to ask?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's obvious, Jackie. It wasn't about being married, it was about you," he said simply.

Jackie was confused for a moment but comprehension dawned on her quickly.

She stiffened with anger, "Oh. Okay… I get it." She backed slowly away from him towards the door.

Hyde watched her closely as she started to leave. Just as she was about to turn the knob she whipped back around. Hyde was surprised to see her eyes were dry. The Jackie he knew would definitely have had the waterworks going by now.

"Thank you, Steven," she said softly.

"For what?" he asked, almost involuntarily, mystified by the woman he thought he could predict so well.

"For telling me what I needed to know," she turned away again and was almost out the door.

"Wait."

She paused in the doorway but didn't turn around.

"That was out of line. I shouldn't have said that," he admitted.

Jackie turned back to face him and shrugged, "You were being honest, it doesn't matter if it's something I don't like."

"But I wasn't. Being honest, I mean," he said, running his hands through his hair, "If you want honesty…"

She crossed her arms, "I do."

"It wasn't you, Jackie. I messed up and instead of fixing it, I took the easy way out… It was just too much- It was so hard, trying to keep things together with us. That's why. Pathetic excuse, but there you have it."

Jackie nodded in understanding, "It's alright and I am sorry I made things difficult for you."

Hyde groaned in frustration, "Didn't you hear me? It wasn't you, Jackie. I just didn't know how to handle it."

She looked confused, "Handle what?"

"What I felt for you… It was… I couldn't... Look, I know I should have tried harder but I just didn't."

She nodded again, "It's okay. Thank you, Steven, really." She turned to go again.

"Sam's pregnant."

Jackie halted again and faced him. She didn't look as surprised as he thought she would.

"Oh? Congratulations," she said tentatively.

Hyde shook his head and sat back down on the bed. When he didn't say anything, Jackie walked back in the room and shut the door. Jackie sat across from him on the chair again.

"When is she due?" Jackie asked, hoping to get him talking again.

"The 31st."

"The 31st of what?"

"This month."

"Oh! Wow. Is she excited?"

Hyde laughed dryly.

"That's a 'no', then?"

"Yeah, pretty much. She told me this isn't what she wanted out of her life. Like a career stripper has big aspirations, right?" he scoffed.

Jackie couldn't help feeling both sorry and vindicated at the same time but kept it to herself, "So… what does she want?"

"A divorce."

"Oh, Steven," Jackie said, taking hold of his hand, "I'm sorry."

Hyde shook his head, "Why should you be sorry, you didn't do this to me. I did this to me."

Jackie didn't comment. "What about the baby?"

"She doesn't want it."

"Adoption?"

"Maybe."

"What do you mean 'maybe'?" she asked.

"I mean, it's still my kid, you know? I just don't know if…"

"If you're ready to be a dad?" Jackie finished.

Hyde nodded, "A single dad, really. There was a time when I thought I'd have kids and all."

She knew where this might be heading and so made a noncommittal comment, "Yeah."

Hyde looked up, "Yeah."

Jackie didn't say anything.

"It should have been you, Jackie," Hyde said.

"Should have been me?"

"The mother of my children."

Unnerved, Jackie pulled her hand away from where it had been grasping Hyde's in support of his situation. It hurt to hear these things. Not because she still felt any hope or want for them but because she once had. She once wanted so badly to hear this from him and now it was too late and she didn't want that from him anymore.

"Sorry," Hyde said quietly.

Jackie shook her head, "It's okay."

Hyde sighed, "Do you love him, Jackie?"

She didn't hesitate, "Yes."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Good. You deserve it."

"So do you, Steven."

He smiled and hook his head, "Always thinking the best of me, huh?"

"Well, not always," Jackie admitted, "but yes. You're a good person, Steven."

"And what if I let Sam give the baby up for adoption? Does that make me a good person? Always skipping out on the on the people who should matter the most to me. Makes me an awful lot like Bud and Edna, huh?" Hyde was looking more and more distressed.

Jackie moved and sat next to him on the bed.

"Not if you don't want to be. Steven, listen to me. You are a good person. You care about the people close to you very much. I know that you usually try to do the right thing. Everyone makes mistakes. That's just how it works. The thing is you have to learn from them. That is what makes you different from Bud and Edna, you learn from your mistakes. Whatever you decide I want you to know that I think you will make a great father. I always thought so," she finished softly.

Hyde looked at Jackie, he took a deep breath, "I really loved you."

Jackie swallowed and nodded, "I know."

"How could you know?" he asked sadly, "I never told you. I couldn't even do that."

"I may have said differently then, but you didn't have to say it, Steven. I knew."

Jackie hugged him and, cautiously, Hyde returned the embrace.

"I'm really sorry, Jackie."

"Don't, it's okay."

Hyde pulled back and looked at her again, "I wish…" he stopped, "Do you ever-?" He didn't seem able to finish his thought but it didn't matter because Jackie knew what he meant.

"Yes. But we can't go back," she said honestly.

Hyde was silent for a moment, "I know. I'm glad you're happy, Jackie. Forman will take good care of you."

Jackie smiled and stood up.

"We all need someone to take care of us," she said meaningfully as she walked to the door for a second time.

Hyde nodded in understanding, "Yeah. Hey… thanks, Jackie."

"You're welcome, Steven."

With that she closed the door behind her, leaving Hyde to ponder her last words.