January

Chapter 3

"Well, that's interesting." Edward said, his eyebrow cocked in an expression of humor mixed with smug acknowledgment of what he had just witnessed in her thoughts.

Rosalie's eyes darkened. She hated not only when he pried into her thoughts without her permission, but, for obvious reasons, she was furious that he had chosen this moment in particular to see these thoughts in her memory. She still wasn't even sure why she had them in the first place. Why was he having this effect on her?

She took a step closer to him and shoved a perfectly manicured finger sharply into his chest. A foreboding growl was building deep in her chest--a surprisingly ferocious sound for someone so gorgeous. "If you utter one word of this to anyone else in this family, I swear to God, Edward, you won't have to worry about that little twit at school ever again because you won't be in any state to be in school, understood?" His face didn't change, except for an almost undetectable widening of his eyes. She leaned in closer to his face aggressively for a split second to punctuate her warning and then turned on her heel, sprinting gracefully down the stairs.

She grit her teeth all the way down to the first level of the house and stopped just long enough to grab her keys and her purse before she burst out of the door in a fury. She needed to get away from here. She needed to think. This was going to drive her absolutely insane until she figured out why her brain and her body were betraying her the way they were. Why did it seem that she couldn't get anything to cooperate the way she wanted it to? Edward, herself…at least Emmett was as steady as always. She could always count on him for that.

As that thought ran through her head, her brow creased, a new ripple of guilt shooting through her chest. She was absolutely sure of her love for him, there was no question of that. But that in mind, why should these shadows from her past with Edward even matter at all? She didn't even think that the relationship meant that much to her when it was happening, why should it mean anything now? The questions continued to swirl through her head, unanswered and irritating.

She clicked the button on the remote to her M3, just needing to get away. Sliding into the seat, she turned over the car, not really having any solid plan on where she was going to go. She was out of the driveway and halfway down the road before she even realized she wasn't alone in the car. She jumped about 6 inches out of her seat when she heard a familiar velvet voice murmur, "Rose, what is this about?"

She didn't even bother looking at him. She didn't want to acknowledge him. She just kept driving, once again pushing her car as fast as she could to its brink. This was not what she had in mind for soul searching, and he was really the last person she wanted to have in any near proximity to her. She once again felt a growl building in her chest, but bit it back, wanting to keep the controlled and unaffected façade in place. Edward reached over and pushed a lock of her perfectly curled hair behind her ear. Another unwanted memory flashed through her mind at the gesture.

They were flying down the interstate, the wind blowing through both of their hair, the flashy vintage vehicle pleasing them both with the satisfaction they found in cars. She had dark stylish sunglasses over her eyes, a designer scarf wrapped fashionably around her hair to keep it off of her face. The sunlight glinted off of her skin in subtle diamond patterns. She looked like an ethereal, otherworldly picture out of a magazine. He was turned toward her in his seat, gazing at her with the intense look that was her personal favorite. It suited her vain nature perfectly; the epitome of his admiration of her beauty. She knew that there was more to it than just physical attraction, but she didn't let herself think of that element most of the time. She still wasn't healed.

He reached over, lifting his hand from its resting place on the soft leather seat to brush it across her cheek, down her neck, trailing down her arm to ease it off of the steering wheel so he could hold it in his. He kissed it gently before he brought it back down to the seat, rubbing slow circles on the palm, causing her to sigh softly.

She shook her head, a terse growl of frustration ripping from her throat, upset that it had happened again. This needed to stop. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him stiffen, feel the tension run through his body and through the air between them from her seat. She flicked her eyes over at him briefly, finally acknowledging his presence in the vehicle, but made absolutely sure that the expression she wore was positively withering.

"Rose, can we please talk about this?" He spoke so softly, anyone other than a vampire wouldn't have heard him.

She found herself gritting her teeth again with frustration. "What is there to say, Edward? I don't really know what to tell you. I don't know why this is happening any more than you do."

He frowned, the expression causing a perfect fissure in his beautiful features. He was obviously as uncomfortable with the situation as she was. All of the amusement from earlier was completely gone. "Rose, I didn't even realize that what we had mattered to you in the first place. When you found Emmett it was like nothing had even happened in the first place.

She didn't respond to that. She couldn't. She had been so sure of herself before, so completely cemented in her emotions and feelings, and now her world was turned upside down. When she finally did respond her voice was barely a whisper. "That is how it was, but now I just don't know."

Her lip trembled and she could feel her face beginning to crumple, and she panicked, not wanting to fall apart--especially not in front of Edward right now. She bit her lip, lowering her chin and keeping an eye on the road through her lashes.

However, Edward wasn't stupid, and was more attuned to her than she preferred he ever would be. He brushed a hand quickly over her hair and then put a hand on the wheel, sliding her over to the passenger seat before she could even think about it. She stared out the window, relieved she could avoid his gaze now without crashing the car.

She felt the car stop and looked up to find that Edward had pulled the car up to an overlook point, most likely to let her catch her breath. She wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not--she really had no desire to confront this right now.

He reached over and cupped her chin with his hand, turning her face to his. She met his gaze levelly, now too distressed to be angry at him. The anger was still there, but the anguish had won the emotional war for the moment. His eyes burned into hers, the emotion in them a replica of the most recent flashback she had encountered. She had a moment to wonder if that was on purpose before his lips crashed into hers.

She was in shock. Her body stiffened, as hard and still as a statue carved from marble…but after a moment she melted against him, a soft moan escaping her lips. She needed to know. A million thoughts, feelings and emotions were coursing through her right now. Guilt, desire, confusion, need, curiosity, frustration…all she wanted was to sort out the truth in all of the mess. She tangled her fingers in his hair as he wound his hand around her neck, deepening the kiss.

She could feel the urgency in his own lips as they burned against hers--too hot and too cold all at once. His tongue traced her lower lip, reveling in the smooth skin he found there, nibbling on the fullness. It had always been his favorite part of kissing her. Her taste was exactly the way he remembered it, like chocolate but with a hint of something hot; an undertone of spices. Decadent and fiery just like she was.

Abruptly, she pulled away, her eyes widened, taking fast, deep breaths she really didn't need. "I can't do this, Edward. We can't do this." She felt more guilty than she had ever felt in her entire life. Images of Emmett's smiling face were flashing through her head. The look of utter devotion that painted his face every time he laid eyes on her after not seeing her for any length of time, the way he murmured how much he loved her any chance he got. She felt herself beginning to hyperventilate.

Edward's brow creased with genuine concern and he cupped her face in his hands, "Rose, sweetheart, breathe. It's okay. It didn't mean anything. Think. Think about what you just felt."

He was stroking her face gently, his cool fingers pressing lightly over her brow bones, her cheekbones, down her temples, trying to soothe away the hysteria that was gripping her. She tried to breathe and heed his advice. She considered the kiss, dissecting each thought process carefully. First there was shock…the most natural response she could possibly have. It had been years since she had kissed Edward and he had caught her completely off guard. Then there was memory--nostalgia even. She remembered everything that used to be between them. Their first kiss, all the times that followed, the affection that she had for him…

Then her eyes widened as realization dawned. She met his eyes, and his mouth pulled up in a crooked smile. She didn't love Edward. She had never loved Edward. Not the way she loved Emmett at least…she was right all along. Her jealousy, however, had lit a fire underneath whatever mild emotions she had previously had before, causing it to feel like it was something more than it was. He nodded slowly, following her thought process along with her.

She leaned back against the seat, letting out a deep sigh of relief. "Thank god."

He chuckled beside her, "Gee, thanks."

She swatted at him, not even bothering to turn her head, "Be quiet. Don't even tell me you'd want to deal with the headache of a lurid affair with your brother living in the same house. It would be a bit difficult, don't you think?" Her mouth twisted into a sardonic smile.

She didn't notice how his features darkened.

When they returned to the house, she opened the door to find Alice standing in the hallway, her hands folded across her chest, and an absolutely terrifying look on her face. For a pint sized vampire, she could be incredibly intimidating at times. Rose eyed her warily.

"Alice," Rosalie said cautiously.

"Rosalie," Alice said curtly, flitting forward quickly, grabbing her arm in a vise grip, glaring at Edward with a death stare before dragging her up the stairs to her room.

When they reached the room and Alice had slammed the door shut behind them, she whirled on Rosalie, a livid look painted on her face. "What the hell are you thinking, Rosalie? What is all this about? First you get in a fight with Edward out of absolutely no where, storming around the house like a child…then you are with Emmett having raucous sex, clearly letting out some kind of emotion, then you are driving off into the sunset with Edward doing things that I don't even want to think about right now because I might explode." She was pacing around the room.

Rose lowered herself down onto the couch that she had just made love to her husband on earlier that night and dropped her head into her hands.

Alice continued on with an onslaught of angry venting. "Do you know how disturbing it is, when I'm just minding my own business, and all the sudden I'm bombarded with images of you and Edward caught up in some passionate kiss in your car like teenagers after prom? God, Rosalie. And didn't you even stop to think of what this would do to Emmett?"

She was pacing a track in the carpet unconsciously. Rosalie followed her with her eyes and could feel the anger building in her chest again with Alice's words. "Clearly you weren't minding your own business, Alice, if you saw what happened in the first place," she said through clenched teeth, her voice absolutely dripping with angry venom.

"And if you don't mind, could you please keep your voice down?" she hissed, considering Emmett's feelings and not even wanting to think about how she would begin to explain this mess to him. She jumped up herself and walked over to the window, on the edge of stomping she was so angry.

"You know, I'm a little bit sick of people being inside my head all the time. Between you and Edward I feel like I can't do anything without someone jumping on me in one way or another. Obviously he jumps on me in a different way than you do, but just the same, it's an equally unpleasant outcome." She gritted her teeth against the anger, the guilt, the anguish as they mélange of emotions threatened to drown her. She turned to look at Alice. She was surprised to see that her sister looked shocked and ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to pry--it was just there all the sudden and I was so shocked I didn't know what to think. I didn't even know you two had a relationship before the rest of us came along." Alice stepped closer and placed a hand on Rosalie's arm in a comforting gesture. She was stiff as a statue, completely tense.

Rosalie fought to keep her voice from trembling. "Yes, well, a true testament to the fact that I don't want everyone to know everything that has ever happened in my life. Maybe people should just butt the hell out everyone once in a while."

Alice looked slightly hurt, but nodded and backed slowly out of the room. Rose felt guilty for taking the shot at her, but just couldn't bring herself to follow after her and apologize. She'd had enough today.

Three days later, Rosalie sat in front of her fireplace once again, reading the latest issue of Vogue. She wasn't really absorbing any of the information her eyes were combing over. She was just too distracted by the recent events that were plaguing her life. She sat back and sighed, reflecting on the situation and shaking her head bitterly at the fact that she had spent more time alone in her room in the past week than she had in the past two months. She just didn't want to be anywhere near anyone with extra senses right now.

She stared into the fire for a moment and bit her lower lip. She still didn't know how to handle what was going on. Even after that night in her car with Edward, she still felt like things were unresolved for some reason, but couldn't put her finger on why.

She shook her head, and before she could think about what she was doing, she was on her feet and quietly opening the door to her bedroom. Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle and gone hunting and Alice and Esme had gone on a shopping trip for the weekend. Rather uncharacteristically, she had turned down their invitation to join them. She just wasn't in the mood.

She padded quietly down the hall toward Edward's room, still wondering what the hell she was doing. She was translating the issue of Vogue she had just been reading in French just for old time's sake; no use in taking chances anymore with his prying. When she reached his door, she carefully placed a hand on the polished wood and closed her eyes, considering if she really wanted to do this.

After a moment, she took a deep breath and opened the door.