-1Chapter Nine

Soul Meets Body

It is time. Izzie knows this. They need to tell Lexie. She didn't mean to eavesdrop on the conversation. It just sort of happened. She had looked at the clock, realized it was almost time for dinner, and went to ask if they were game for pizza. They. She had gotten into the habit of including Alex. Perhaps that was why she had put telling Lexie off. As long as the girl was in the dark about Alex being her father, Izzie had an excuse for them to all three be together. Almost like a family. She needed to be careful, thinking that way. Alex came around for one reason, and one reason only: Lexie.

Closing the door to "the reason's" room, she lets out a sigh. Alex would be gone when she went back downstairs. He usually was. Why would he stay? He had spent time with Lexie, had gotten to say his good-nights, there is no reason for him to stay. She stops short of the living room. He was still there, sitting on the couch, a glass of wine cupped in his hand. There is a thoughtful look on his face. No doubt he is thinking about Kylie. Addison was flying in tomorrow with the girl.

"You look deep in thought," she muses walking into the dimly lit room. The only light came from the fire roaring in the fireplace. It isn't quite cold enough for one, but Lexie had thought it would be great one to roast marshmallows, and Alex had agreed. How they could stomach eating the charred gooey mess she didn't know.

Alex nods, taking a sip of his wine. His eyes follow her as she settles in the chair adjacent to the couch. Self-consciously, she reaches for her half drank goblet of wine. Red. It had gone well with the pizza they'd had delivered. "Hm. Yeah. I suppose I am."

"I think you should tell her. I know we talked about the two of us telling her, but...I think it would mean more if you told her." Izzie takes a large gulp of wine, grimacing a bit as it gets stuck on the lump in her throat. "Unless you want me to her. I can." She sounds like a rambling idiot. It is just odd. With the exception of the garage conversation, and some whispered decisions during soccer practices, they hadn't been alone.

"I can tell her. Or, we can tell her together." His voice sounds distracted. Actually, he looks distracted. The way he kept swirling his glass of wine, the way his left knee bounces slightly. "Did you love me?"

Blinking, Izzie stares at him, taking another sip of her wine. Her stomach is twisting in a million knots. Part of her wants to ask why would he ask something like that, but she knows the answer. Lexie. Lexie and her little girl dream of mommy and daddy being together. Plus, her overhearing that drunken, tear filled conversation with Meredith a few months ago hadn't helped. She debates on what to tell him, then decides she owes him the truth. There has been enough lies. "Yes. Yes I did." For lack of something to do, she takes another sip, only to find the goblet empty. She reaches for the bottle on the coffee table the same moment Alex did. Their hands only brush momentarily, but the shock lingers. She holds the glass steady, letting him pour the blood colored drink.

"Did? Or do?" He sets the bottle back onto the mahogany table, his gaze never leaving her's.

" You're Lexie's father. So, yes, I am always going to love you. You gave me my daughter." It is a half ass answer, and not what he is asking. It is the only one she can give, though. If she admits that she has always loved him, and ha has fallen back in love with him over the past three weeks, it would give him the power to hurt her. She can't afford to be hurt. Not when she has a child that depends on her. No, it is best to just let things be.

"That isn't what I was asking. You know that." He says softly. Their eyes meet, before she looks away, watching the fire dance. "Do you love me? Me. Alex. Not Lexie's father."

Dammit. This isn't fair. It is hard not to cry. If she told him the truth on this, it would make things awkward. There would be no more of the semi-easy friendship they have developed where Lexie is concerned. "Iz." She looks up, sucking in her breath when she realized he was right there, sitting on the edge of the ottoman that sat in front of her chair.

"What do you want me to say? That I realized what a stupid idiot I was after you were gone? That I sat up at night, crying, just thinking about the perfect little family you and Addison were building? That every time I looked at our daughter, I saw you and it made me love you more? Is that what you want to hear? Fine. I did. I did all those things. Hell, I still do!" The words come out before she can stop them. "Oh, God! I-" He cuts her apology off with a kiss. His strong hands cup her face, the fingers buried in her hair. Desires she has kept buried flare to life. His hands drop from her face to her shoulders, skimming down her arms. She lifts her arms a bit, letting him pull the light yellow top over her head. She let's out a tiny moan as his mouth moves along her collar bone. She fumbles for the hem of his shirt, finding it. She tugs it up, tangling him in it. He moves back far enough to yank it over his head, tossing it on top of her's.

She leans back in the chair, closing her eyes. His mouth and hands seemed to be everywhere. Izzie arches her back, as his fingers fumble with the clasp of her bra. The moment her breasts were from the pale peach silk and lace, his hands slid up her waist to cup them. "So beautiful," he murmurs before covering her mouth with his in another passion filled kiss. The pad of one thumb flicks across a nipple, making her moan into his mouth. She was vaguely aware of his undoing her jeans, of him sliding them down her hips. Kicking them free of her ankles, she reaches for him, returning the favor. A faint voice of reason told her she should stop him. That she needed to tell him there hadn't been anyone else since him. Nine years of celibacy overruled that tiny voice of reason that told her she needed to tell him she wasn't protected, that he needed to be the one who...The tiny voice disappears altogether as his thickness fills her.

"Oh God," she moans, wrapping her legs around him. The chair digs into her back as he thrusts into her, she barely noticed. It wasn't about filling a physical need. She had had plenty of opportunities. Hell, Mark had tried on more than one occasion. Every time, she gathered all her will power, and told herself Lexie came first. Perhaps it is because this is Alex, the man she loves, that made it seem right.

Gripping her hips, Alex pulls her down on top of him. He reaches up, to brush her hair from her face, then pulls her head down to kiss her. She slides her hands up his chest, tilting her head back as the passion starts to overtake her. She whimpers his name as he thrusts up and into her harder and faster. "Alex," she pants, scraping her nails across his shoulders. The hands holding her waist hold tighter as they both cry their release. She collapses against him. She longs to ask him what now, but can't bring herself to ruin the mood, so she lays there, savoring the feel of his skin against her's.