AN: I'm posting extra early, I guess because I have no life.
So yeah, first part is flashback and the long separator is your present. That's all. Read. Enjoy. Whatever. hah.
Disclaimer: I don't really own much. Certainly not the characters or places here.
Derek arrived at American University. He was excited to be somewhere new but at the same time he was a bit upset. Just a few days ago he hated Casey. He hated everything about her and her annoying ways. But he couldn't help but have some sort of feeling in him. He wasn't sure what it was. He didn't love her, he knew that for sure. But what was it then? He sure as hell didn't know.
He was in his bed staring up at the ceiling, searching for answers. There were none. "I don't love her or anything. Like? Maybe? It was one day. Hardly a day. It was hours! You can't feel anything this strong in the matter of hours! This is crazy. I'm crazy. She said she still hated me. She doesn't love me even after our night together. Am I crazy for feeling this way? Maybe. Just maybe. Maybe it's something more." he thought.
--
Casey arrived at the University of Toronto. She curled up in her bed absorbing the peace and quiet that she could only get now. Her room mate hadn't arrived yet, so this gave her sometime to think. She was glad to get out of the town where she was perceived as a loser. A pathetic loser.
She was happy that her and Derek had left on good terms and that nothing weird went on between them. She didn't want anything to be weird since he was being the total opposite of the Derek she was used to. He was nothing but a gentlemen. They left as friends. "I told him I hated him but I don't. I told him I didn't love him. I don't but it feels like something is heading there. But all of that doesn't matter because he does still hate me. He doesn't love me. So frustrating. I guess being away from him is for the best though. But then again maybe it isn't. Maybe I do feel something. I can't tell him though. It'll go away. These unexplainable feelings will go away. They will. Maybe." she thought.
--
He woke up the next morning after an exhausting first day. He kept thinking about Casey and these unexplainable feelings he kept having. Things were just unclear.
He decided to get up and unpack his things. He sat on the floor slowly taking the things out of his bag, "Dammit Casey." he groaned, "Why did I have to dance with you. Why did I have to kiss you. Why did I have to sleep with you. This isn't supposed to be happening." he took out more things, "I liked it though." he laughed but immediately wanted to smack himself for joking, "I liked all those things with her." he was frustrated, "What does this mean! Someone or something tell me what does this means!" he got to the bottom of his bag and there was his sign. Literally. He took it out the bag. He looked at it and laughed, "Here it is."
He quickly got on his feet to stand up. He looked for some tape, luckily he had some. He turned it over and put tape on the four corners of the paper. He climbed on his bed and hung it above his headboard. He sighed; smiling, "Perfect." he smoothed it out once more. "and Casey." he read aloud.
--
Casey smiled on her bed listening to music. Or one specific song that she left on repeat. She read over the little note written on the CD cover. "You can keep my CD. Just remember don't use it at your wedding. Derek."
"How is it possible that he went from a complete asshole to a complete... complete..." she sighed thinking, "charmer. This doesn't make any sense. I'm not making any sense. I avoided feelings to avoid all of this!" she covered herself in her blanket, "Maybe he really is a good guy." she shook her head, "None of this should be happening. It can't happen. He's my step-brother. I'm his step-sister. It's wrong. It's so wrong. It can't. No." she took a deep breath, "I shouldn't read into this too much. It's probably nothing. It'll go away. But do I want it to go away? I could never tell him. I can't tell him. I can't tell him I feel something for him."
--
"I won't tell her.
--
"I won't tell him.
--
"I won't tell her that I have feelings for her."
--
"I won't tell him that I really really like him."
--
As months passed, the feelings progressed for both of them. They tried to convince themselves it would go away but it wouldn't.
Derek was so tempted to just call her and tell her how he really felt; that it was driving him crazy.
Casey was going a bit crazy too. She wanted to call him and just see what's going on in his life but she quickly realized she'd probably be making a fool out of herself. She was scared to bring up the subject of them, of their night together and she didn't know if he even cared.
Derek thought she would just laugh at him because he knew she would think it was wrong. That it would never work with them.
So they never would give in to their urges to call one another.
--
They both saw each other during vacations back in London. The first Christmas, Casey was kind of nervous but excited to see him.
Derek believed he should just pretend nothing happened so he wouldn't look like a desperate idiot.
They saw each other and Derek totally ignored her except for the occasional, "Hi. What's up. How are you." Casey was hurt by the way he was acting and finally realized he really didn't care. It was only her feeling this way. So she blatantly was rude to him.
--
After that Christmas, they both realized it was time to let go of those unexplainable feelings. Casey thought Derek didn't care about her. Derek thought Casey was mad at him so he ignored her. So they moved on.
With their new surroundings, it didn't take either of them long to get used to the new people or be interested in the new people. They both were relieved because neither had to let the other know about the past few months that drove them crazy.
Derek finally took down that piece of the banner and Casey finally stopped listening to that CD. They were free.
But their underlying feelings would resurface sometime in the future.
"How do I really feel about you?" she repeated his question.
"Yeah," he let out a light laugh, "it's not that hard of a question."
"Pass?" she smiled nervously.
"Come on, Casey. Answer the question." she didn't answer. He groaned, "We both obviously just said we would be happier if we spoke to those people or persons we don't really talk to. You're a genius, you should know I was talking about you."
She shrugged, "You could have been talking about a Hooters waitress for all I know."
He shook his head; laughing, "You know exactly who I meant and I know you were talking about me too," she was about to speak but he interrupted her, "Yes, I know it was about me. You know how I know?"
"Humor me," she insisted.
"Because you talk to the family all the time and you see them all the time. So it isn't them. Plus you're married. That rules out all other men. Except. Me," pointing to himself proudly.
She rolled her eyes; laughing a bit, "Yeah, so what?"
"So come on, Casey. How do you really feel?" he nudged her shoulder.
"Fine." she was silent for a bit,"I miss you." running her hand through the front of her hair, "I still think about you. A lot. It drives me crazy because it's like they just came back out of no where!"
He was confused, "What came back?"
She looked at him, "The feelings I had for you."
"Feelings for m-me?" he blushed.
She nodded slowly, "Yeah, I was a bit crazy for a few months but then I got over it, Derek. Crazy, huh?" she gave her self a pity laugh.
He shook his head; laughing, "Not crazy if you can believe I did the same thing."
She punched his shoulder, "You?" he nodded, "You had feelings for me too?"
He rubbed his shoulder, "Yeah, Casey."
"I mean I don't love you or anything--"
He interrupted her; sitting straighter, "I don't love you, either. Never have."
"Good. So we agree on something."
He chuckled, "Duh. I mean it wouldn't be possible."
"Of course." she let out a nervous laugh, "I'm married."
"You're my step-sister."
"You're my step-brother."
"It's wrong."
"It is wrong." he confirmed.
"But it doesn't feel wrong, does it?"
He shook his head; looking down at his beer, "It doesn't."
She let out a deep breath after some awkward silence, "Derek?"
He looked up at her, "Yup?"
"I really really wished you came to my wedding."
To those who haven't given up on me yet, just hang in there. There's only two more chapters left. It's coming to an end. The madness will be over. Good for you, kinda sad for me. lol.
The next two chapters are my favorites.
Random but seriously is there any of you who hear a song for the first time and it changes you? hahah I just heard this song and I seriously can't stop listening to it. The words and the way it's sung. I don't know. Addicting, that's what it is.
Okay I'm finished. You can go back to hating me for the cliffhanger. haha.