Chapter 7: Gamabunta's Secret

A burst of cold air shocked Sakura awake and her jade green eyes flashed open. Sitting up, she looked down at the bed and realized that all of the blankets were on the floor and the mattress was shaking.

"Naruto?" her voice was weaker than she would have liked in the darkness.

The bed shifted and there was a sharp hiss as Naruto breathed in deeply. His voice was strained as he asked, "C-can you heal my stomach infection?"

A second wave of pain wracked Naruto's body and whiteness exploded before his eyes as he gasped, covering his stomach instinctively. He could feel the acid in his stomach attacking itself and as Sakura's healing chakra swirled around his organ, he fought to keep himself as still as possible. His teeth grit and his hands clenched in the fabric of the mattress cover, damp from his sweat.

"I really think you should go to Tsunade-shishou about this," she murmured to him in concern as she began to numb his nerves to block out the pain.

Closing his eyes, he remained silent. As the pain faded into the recesses of his mind, so did his consciousness and he fell asleep once more.

"Summon Gamabunta-san and ask for the scroll I left him," Minato instructed Naruto from within his mind.

"You actually managed to make Gamabunta do something for you?" Naruto mumbled as he walked towards the furthest, least used training fields.

The afternoon streets of Konoha were bustling with people, none of whom took a second glance at Naruto as he passed them. His skin had healed nicely and although his body felt a bit tight and stiff, it was nothing a little stretch wouldn't fix. Weaving his way through a dense forest, his footsteps were muffled by the moist, soft soil underfoot and he emerged in a large clearing far away from the city. Winter had come with icy winds and quick darkness, which was why Naruto was walking along in a thick black jumper.

"Well, Gamabunta-san realized that it was the first and last favour I'd ever ask of him as I was hours away from dying anyways," Minato explained.

Naruto felt a strange pang in his chest as he was reminded not for the first time that Minato was dead. He asked awkwardly, "Is it weird? Being dead, that is."

"Not much different from being alive. Though, using the Shiki Fuujin meant that I traded my life to a Shinigami with a sense of humour who decided to put me inside you along with the Kyuubi. I haven't had a very normal death and I haven't gone to heaven or anything, so I'm probably not the best person to ask," he answered lightly.

"So…when I die, will you go to heaven?" Naruto questioned.

"I don't know. But you're not going to die anytime soon, so don't ask questions like that. Now, summon Gamabunta-san," Minato's voice was curt and instinctively Naruto dropped the subject.

Biting into his thumb with a sharp canine, Naruto pressed his fingertips against the ground. He murmured, "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

There was a gigantic trembling and very suddenly, an obscuring, tinted red smoke covered the area. Choking and waving his hand around to bat away the smoke, Naruto could discern the huge, blurry outline of the toad boss.

"Who keeps on summoning me?! The one day I get time off, everybody decides to call for my help," Gamabunta's loud, annoyed voice rumbled and the trees shook.

"Sorry boss, I'll make it quick. Can I have the scroll the Fourth Hokage left you?" Naruto began.

Gamabunta's unblinking yellow eyes narrowed. He put away his pipe and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at Naruto. He said flatly, "No."

"What?! But, boss, I need that scroll!" Naruto pleaded. Gamabunta very openly ignored Naruto, closing his eyes and turning his head away.

"What do I do?" Naruto asked Minato in frustration.

"Tell him that he'll be meeting one of his old friends if he doesn't hand it over soon," Minato replied.

"Eh…eh, boss!" the blonde haired seventeen year old tried to get Gamabunta's attention.

One of Gamabunta's eyes flickered open in exasperation and he demanded, "What?"

"If I don't get the scroll, you'll be meeting an old friend of yours pretty soon," Naruto repeated Minato's words.

A long silence fell over the area.

For a moment, Naruto thought the toad boss was going to dismiss himself and leave Naruto empty handed. However, one of his huge webbed hands reached into his white waistband and he produced a scroll. The scroll looked like a toothpick in Gamabunta's hands, but as he set it down beside Naruto it came up to about his shoulder. Naruto picked up the scroll and looked back up at him. Gamabunta crossed his arms, shaking his head in exasperation.

He commented, "You know, most people say that you're more like your mom than your dad. But personally, I think I see more of your dad in you."

Gamabunta then dismissed himself in a gigantic cloud of smoke.

"…what was mom like?" Naruto asked, before he could help himself.

A soft laugh resounded in Naruto's head, a laugh that sounded fond and…lonely. Minato answered, "Her name was Uzumaki Kushina, from the Whirlpool country. She was one of the smallest kunoichi I have ever known, but definitely had a mouth to make up for it."

"So she was annoying?" he pressed. That was a low blow to his pride.

"No, no. She was really likeable but she'd never let anybody help her, which could get annoying at times. And, she ran into things without thinking about them beforehand so I had to make sure she always had a medic on her team. She was too honest though, but it was nice having someone around who'd tell you straight out that you looked like a walking Christmas tree in green and red," Minato's voice was tinged with humour, as if he were reminiscing on good times.

Swallowing painfully, Naruto debated over his next question. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer but curiosity was killing him from the inside. He blurted, "What happened to her?"

There was a quick, agonizing silence. Then Minato answered quietly, "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? You're her husband, aren't you?" he demanded, slightest traces of indignation creeping into the edges of his voice.

"Yes, but I died," his dad answered, with a voice that was almost too casual to be real.

Words escaped Naruto. Guilt quickly tore at every inch of him and he wondered what his dad was feeling. He tried to put himself in Minato's situation. If Naruto had to live every single day with the fear that maybe, just maybe, Sakura was dead or dying and he was been unable to do anything to help her…

He didn't know how he'd be able to survive.

"Naruto, open the scroll," Minato's voice tore him from his moody train of thought.

Naruto did as his father said and read over all the thick inked kanji thoughtfully. It was an extremely complicated jutsu, he found, and he frowned down at the aged paper between his fingertips.

He asked, "What does the jutsu do?"

"The jutsu will allow you to release the purest form of untainted chakra and then use it against Kyuubi. The purity of the chakra should purge the evil chakra from your body until it fades into nothingness," Minato explained.

"Should? So, there's a chance the jutsu won't work?" Naruto questioned.

His father smoothly cut in, "It's untested. If it doesn't work, then we'll just find another method to get rid of the Kyuubi."

"But, if this doesn't work, would we be able to come up with another plan in time? I can only hold back the Kyuubi for so long," He murmured, eyes glazing over as the words in the scroll blurred with his inattentiveness.

"We'll manage something, I'm sure," The Fourth reassured Naruto.

Rolling up the scroll, Naruto slung it over his shoulder and began the journey back to the hospital to see Sakura. Words were tugging at the back of his vocal chords, but he was unsure if he should voice his opinion on the matter in case he upset Minato. Naruto's foot caught on a rock and he stumbled slightly. He glanced up at the large Hokage monument and locked eyes with the unseeing gaze of the Fourth.

A lump formed in the back of his throat and he swallowed painfully.

As Sakura finished her shift and walked out of the hospital, she almost walked straight past Naruto without recognizing him.

He was sat on one of the stone benches, completely silent like a statue. His elbows were on his knees, causing him to lean forwards, and his hands were clasped between his legs. Cerulean blue eyes were deep with thought and there was a frown pulling at the corners of his mouth. She had never seen him look so serious and it scared her slightly. He didn't even look up at her as she approached him. It was only when she touched his shoulder gently that he jerked suddenly to life and blinked up at her in confusion.

He rose to his feet and simply held her gaze for what seemed an eternity. The rough pads of his fingertips traced over the curve of her cheek thoughtfully, like he was commiting the moment to memory so he'd be able to summon it when he needed it most, but his eyes looked so far away.

She whispered a question, "Are you alright, Naruto?"

He didn't react to the question immediately, but managed a slow nod a while afterwards. Leaning forwards, his arms circled around her body and brought her close to his. She could feel the warmth emanating from him – he was always warm, be it his smiles, his voice or his body temperature. It seeped into her, soothing her exhausted body and mind and she returned the embrace without a second thought. His lips pressed against the cool skin of her forehead briefly and she rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the addicting sound of his calm heartbeat.

The hug had lasted much longer than any of the others they had shared. It was with a heavy heart that Naruto eventually released her and they began walking towards their now shared flat.

She stole frequent glances at Naruto, not that he would have noticed. He still looked deeply troubled and it was really beginning to worry her, along with his uncharacteristic silence. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, she closed it again because maybe Naruto did need time to think whatever he was thinking about over. He would speak to her when he was ready, or so she believed, but the wait seemed so long and difficult. Although she wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, she secretly did miss his loud voice and over enthusiastic personality.

The key turned in the lock with an unpleasant grating sound. The door of the apartment shut behind them and Sakura pulled off her thick overcoat. She put it on one of the kitchen counters and began to make some coffee. Naruto hadn't moved from his spot near the entrance and watched her silently, as if every movement and sound she made was God sent. It was slightly unnerving and Sakura felt incredibly self conscious.

Finally he spoke.

"Sakura, what would you do if I died?"

Her head snapped upwards to meet his cerulean gaze. He looked absolutely serious and the question was beginning to scare her, along with the weird way he was acting. Why was he asking her something like that? He wasn't going to die soon, no, he couldn't die soon. But the more she thought about the question, the more it scared her and paranoia began to rise in the back of her mind.

"I…" she began, tearing her eyes away from his of intense blue.

She wouldn't be able to stand it if Naruto died. She didn't want to think about it.

He remained standing where he was, watching her with those piercing icy blue eyes. There wasn't even a hint of a smile on her face and he was so quiet, so silent. If Naruto was taken away from her, she'd…

"Don't talk like that," she managed in a shaky whisper.

She didn't want to imagine a life without that loud voice, without that big heart, without those whisker scars, without him. They had been through everything together, they had always shared things with each other and he understood her. He knew that the moment Sasuke had left, they had needed to go after him, he knew that sometimes when she smiled she was really crying, he could see all of that and know all of that and there was nobody else who could. And she was always there to comfort him whenever he needed her and he was always there when she needed his comfort. She didn't know when it had begun, but she was so hopelessly in love with him that it was almost as if he were a part of her and a life without Naruto was-

"Don't you ever talk like that, Naruto."

The salty tang of tears shocked Sakura and she raised a hand to her face in shock. Her fingertips came away wet and she began to wipe at her eyes roughly, feeling stupid for crying over something like this. It had just been a question and she was making such a big deal out of it.

The floorboards creaked softly as feet moved towards her. She locked eyes with his deep cerulean ones and finally he smiled, but it was a smile that was filled with sadness.

"If you died Sakura, I wouldn't be able to live. I'll do anything to protect you," he murmured.

She was suddenly crying again and then the words came to her so naturally.

"I love you, Naruto," she confessed.

There was a long, pregnant silence in which neither of them said anything. It was the first time that either of them had ever admitted to anything like love. She didn't know when it had happened but she was in over her head and everything was so serious because she really, truly loved him. Naruto looked at her with those far away eyes again and smiled his sad, sad smile.

He kissed her softly.

"If this doesn't work, we should consider suicide," Naruto's voice cut through the silence like a knife.

"No," Minato answered in a tone that clearly brooked no argument.

Naruto never could take a hint and he argued, "How many plans can we come up with before the Kyuubi finally breaks free? Killing me is our best option at the moment and you know that as well as I do."

"It's our best option at the moment, but it is rash. We still have time," The Fourth's voice nearly took on a pleading tone.

"We don't even know how much time we have. At least if we prepare the suicide as a backup plan, then if things get out of control it'll be okay," Naruto said hotly.

"There is no need for a suicide. Death doesn't solve everything," Minato hissed.

Naruto all but yelled, "You killed yourself to seal the Kyuubi into me!"

It was a low blow and for a few moments, Minato said nothing at all. When he spoke again, his voice was steely, "I had no other choice."

"What, did all your hundreds of plans screw up back then too?" Naruto spat venomously.

It was with the same, stern tone that Minato continued, "I had an entire village to protect and I was the Hokage. I was expected to die to save the village."

"I'm a ninja of Konoha, I'm expected to die for the village as well," He pointed out angrily.

Minato said nothing. He looked at his son and for a moment, he saw a flaming haired woman standing in his place with defiant amber eyes, arguing about something all too familiar. He was so scared of letting go, of losing his son, and it was almost laughable that something could scare him even in death.

His sapphire eyes were icy as he asked Naruto, "Do you want to die? Do you want to leave Sakura behind?"

Minato's questions struck Naruto into silence. It felt as though Minato was playing dirty by bringing in the guilty factor, but he was right, Naruto realized. Did he really want to leave Sakura behind, after he was finally being given a chance to love her the way he had for so many years before, after she had finally returned his feelings?

"Sakura will crumble to pieces without you. She needs you," Minato continued quietly.

"She won't fall to pieces! Sakura's strong," Naruto insisted firmly.

Despite his strong words, doubt had begun to settle into the depths of his heart. Sakura had been so depressed and lifeless after Sasuke had left, and after Sasuke had died she had been even more so. He had seen her after she had lost a patient and seen her breakdown. He remembered the way she had acted after he had asked her what she'd do if he died and it had shocked him, shocked him that she would cry at the mere thought of losing him. What would she do if she really did lose him?

Minato's voice was soft as he murmured, "Don't be selfish, Naruto. Think about the people who need you before you make a rash decision."

"Sakura will be fine, she has Kakashi and Sai to help her," Naruto said weakly.

His father spoke, "There are so many things you haven't done yet and you'll never be able to do them once you're dead. Life is precious and you'll never be able to get a second shot. I don't want to see you making the same mistake I did and live every second in the afterlife worrying about Sakura or wanting to go back and change something you would have been able to when you were alive. Don't take your life for granted."

After a long time, Naruto and Minato had started talking again. The Fourth had acted as though the argument had never happened and they had started talking about the jutsu scroll.

Naruto wanted to do the jutsu in his own apartment. When Minato had pointed out that Sakura could walk in while he was performing the jutsu, Naruto had told him that Sakura had her hospital shift and wouldn't come back until he went and picked her up from the hospital entrance. Minato grudgingly agreed and that was why Naruto was in the middle of his living room, on his knees, with a sealing scroll in front of him.

Naruto inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. His calloused fingers found the edges of the long scroll and he fumbled them nervously before opening his eyes once again.

Everything depended on him performing the jutsu correctly. The Kyuubi could break free and it could mean Naruto's death and destruction of Konoha. Or the jutsu could not work at all and Naruto would really...he would really have to die-

He began.

Rat ox tiger horse monkey dog rabbit, his fingers flashed like lightning, tiger rabbit rat monkey-

The chakra hummed through him like a lifeline, his heartbeat pounding in his ears to an irregular rhythm. He was trying hard to keep his hands from trembling and his hands were moving so fast, like a video in fast forward. His stomach began to glow an ominous crackling red as he formed the hand seals and he gritted his teeth as pain began to course throughout his body but continued, horse tiger rabbit tiger-

His hands slammed against the scroll, his blue eyes wide and sweat pouring from his forehead.

Deafening silence filled the room.

Had he done something wrong? Nothing was happening. Naruto swallowed nervously, glancing down at his stomach. Had it worked?

Then suddenly, something happened.

His head felt like it was about to split in two. His cerulean eyes refused to open and he was powerless to move, powerless to think, powerless to speak. All he could feel and think was pain and there was no escaping it.

Was that screaming he could hear? He strained to listen but even that seemed too difficult a task for him. Agony distracted him and he felt his entire body clench in protest. Gritting his teeth he tried to focus, focus, focus.

Was that Sakura-chan screaming? He tried to picture her in his mind but the lines were blurred and the colours bled into one another like a wet painting. Her face finally cleared but trembled like an age old movie screen with every renewed wave of pain.

He held onto her image and thought of her eyes, eyes like emerald, eyes like sea foam, eyes that never failed to captivate him. He almost believed that the pain was slowly ebbing away but as his back arched and he began to fight to breathe, he realized darkly that even Sakura couldn't save him now.

Her name slipped out of his mouth before he could control himself. He reached out with a trembling hand for someone he wasn't even sure was there before a loud scream of pain cut him short. It was only moments later he realized the sound had come from him.

A smooth, husky voice murmured to him in his head, trying to calm him down. Naruto, you can control this. You still have to become Hokage and protect Sakura. Focus Naruto. Focus

He was trying to focus but it was so damn difficult. His image of Sakura shattered into a thousand pieces he tried to put back together in vain. As he scrabbled to find them, the scattered shards were instantaneously replaced with a dimly lit sewer that was too foreboding to be real. He could hear snarling and metal rattling as small papers fluttered onto the surface of the ankle deep water.

Frustration was beginning to seep in through the pain. He scrabbled desperately to find his focus again but every time he did it slipped through his fingers like water until the sewer dragged him back into a world he wasn't even sure existed. He was growing so tired, he wanted to stop fighting but he had to keep going-

I can't do this! He screamed inwardly, his body trembling.

Naruto, Naruto, listen to me, Minato's voice was becoming dimmer and dimmer in the back of his mind until he could hear the blood pounding in his ears, drowning out all else.

As he threw his head back in agony and fixed his eyes upon the ceiling, his world blurred between foreboding crimson and white, crimson and white. He couldn't tell what was real anymore because every time he blinked he was in a different place and home was a half heartedly cleaned apartment a dark jail cell Konoha a seal Sakura Sakura Sakura-

"Give in to me, Naruto…let me take over…" a voice that trickled like molten lava whispered seductively into his ear.

Water splashed around him as he jerked wildly, shaking his head no. He couldn't give in, he would never give in, because Sakura was still…Sakura was still…what?

"Naruto…I can make the pain go away…"

His mind had become an unending string of hurt. He couldn't think anymore, couldn't remember anything and all he knew was that he wanted to be rid of this pain. The voice crooned to him like music to his ears, telling him what he wanted to hear and it was so tempting to give in.

"Just let yourself fade away and stop fighting…"

A small smile played at the corners of Naruto's lips as he began to let himself slip away into the recesses of his mind. He was seeing through a hazy gauze of bright red and even as the whiskers along his face grew and his eyes became narrow crimson slits, he couldn't even register the changes. All he could hear was the voice in his head, murmuring to him, promising him, and he nodded dumbly, accepting everything word for word.

"I win, Minato."

When Naruto woke up again, he made no move to open his eyes or sit up. The familiar, steady sound of a heart rate monitor registered in the back of his mind and he became aware of two voices conversing in the background.

"…second time in a week he's been sent to hospital! I don't know what he's doing but if it has something to do with the Kyuubi, we have to take action," Tsunade's harsh, no nonsense tone of voice reached his ears.

A calmer voice, Jiraiya's, murmured, "I know you're worried about him Tsunade, but once he wakes up I'll ask him about what happened. From there we'll be able to figure out what to do."

"Naruto won't tell anybody if anything is wrong with him because he hates having people worry about him. You should know that by now," Tsunade snapped.

There was a creak of springs and a patter of footsteps against linoleum tiles. Jiraiya began speaking in the same soothing voice, "He'll be fine, Tsunade."

A long silence fell. Naruto felt slightly guilty for imposing on their very much private conversation, but couldn't help but feel curious that he was the subject of it.

"Go back to the Hokage tower and do some work, or something. I'll tell you immediately when he wakes up," he told her.

She nodded and obeyed his orders. Although she was the Hokage and should not have been ordered around, it felt nice to be the follower after such a long time. There was a soft click as the door shut behind her and the springs on Naruto's bed sank as Jiraiya sat at its foot.

"It's not polite to eavesdrop on other people, brat," Jiraiya commented offhandedly and Naruto's eyes flickered open guiltily.

"How'd you know?" Naruto grumbled in annoyance.

Jiraiya chuckled before explaining, "You always sleep with your mouth wide open but it was closed while we were talking."

Jiraiya patted Naruto's blanket covered shin familiarly. Naruto tried to bring himself into a sitting position but pain stabbed through every inch of his body like sterilized needles, over and over again. He eventually managed to rest his back against the headboard of his bed, feeling horribly tired.

"There's something wrong with you and – no, don't try and deny it – you're going to tell me what," he demanded with stern golden eyes.

With a difficult swallow and long period of silence, Naruto's cerulean eyes misted over with a deep inner struggle. Jiraiya's gaze bore into him, through him, waiting for an answer. When Naruto finally brought his eyes to Jiraiya's, they were darker than midnight with acceptance and a quiet revelation.

"If I tell you…you have to do something for me," Naruto murmured.

Before Jiraiya could ask what the condition was, Naruto had already continued, "The seal is breaking. The Kyuubi could break free at any time and he's tried to many times already. I've managed to hold him back, but it's getting harder. Soon, I won't be able to hold him back and he'll destroy Konoha and anything he gets his hands on."

"What can we do then?" Jiraiya questioned calmly.

There was another long silence. They held each other's gazes, a battle of wills, and the answer that came chilled Jiraiya to the bone.

"I need you to kill me."

A/N:
Happy new year! 2008 is here (oh joy of joys) and it brings more wisdom (hopefully) with it. And maybe the end of Naruto! I don't know about you guys, but I'm about ready to kill Masashi Kishimoto after the new Naruto chapter. What the hell man, how could he do that? If he goes off and kills Kakashi or something equally stupid like make Sasuke and Sakur get together next, I will stop reading Naruto. I swear. Sasuke is my least favourite character now, the dick, after what he did in the new chapter. AHHH. I'M SO ANGRY. I HATE THE NEW CHAPTER. IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.

This story is going to be done in about two chapters. I've got the ending all planned out but I'm sort of running out of steam, since I'm now writing DD! (Yes, rejoice! Selandora has gotten off of her ass and decided to write the promised sequel after half a year!)

Selandora (the sickeningly emotional one you all must fear who hates the new chapter with a passion)