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Chapter 6.

The hours spent alone in her tent gave Kate too much time to think.

She thought about Sun and everyone else that they'd laid to rest on the island, and how terrified she was that in less than two months it would be her funeral that they gathered for. She thought about Juliet and how she still wasn't sure that she could trust her to save them. But most of all, she thought about Jack, and how much she wished that she could tell him the truth.

She wanted to believe that when he realised how much it meant to her, he would support her decision to see the pregnancy through, but he was scared, and it was making him selfish. He couldn't see beyond his own fear of losing her. She just hoped that if – and it was a big if – by some miracle the treatment worked, and she made it to the birth, he would understand the lengths she was willing to go to protect her child. Their child.

The one thing she couldn't allow herself to think about was what would happen if it didn't.

She was lying with her back to the entrance, but she froze at the rustle of the flap, letting out the breath she was holding when a hushed voice whispered, "Kate?"

"I'm awake," she agreed, rolling onto her other side to see Juliet crouched at the foot of her bed. "You scared me – I thought you were Jack when you came in."

If she were anyone else, she would have apologised, but as Kate had come to expect, Juliet wasn't there to make friends. "Well, considering you told me to tell him that you didn't want him here, I don't think you have to worry about that," she assured her, peeking back out at the still beach.

As far as Kate could tell, all of the campfires had been extinguished, which meant that everyone else had turned in for the night. She wondered if Jack was among them, and if he was asleep. She'd gotten so used to his presence that she hated sleeping without him; she wanted to crawl into his tent, under his blanket, and let him hold her, but she knew that it would only confuse him.

She was supposed to be avoiding him; not to mention the fact that he thought she was resting, recovering from a miscarriage.

"What about you? Why are you here?" she asked Juliet, pushing herself into a sitting position so that she could read her expression. She couldn't be there to check on her because there was nothing to check.

"I'm here because you asked me to treat you," Juliet reminded her, "and the only way I can do that is if we keep it a secret."

"You didn't bring anything with you," Kate pointed out when it occurred to her that Juliet's hands were empty, and she didn't have her backpack with her. "Don't you need more pills or something?"

"It's all at the medical station," Juliet agreed, "which is why you and I are going for a walk."

The medical hatch looked different at night, more ominous with its blinking fluorescent lights, Kate thought as she and Juliet made their way back to the examination room.

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to start with some tests to see how your results compare to the other women's," Juliet told her, arranging the equipment on the bench while Kate perched on the edge of the bed.

"Whatever you think you need to do," she agreed, holding still while Juliet checked each of her vitals and recorded them on the chart she'd begun for her.

"You're not going to leave any of this here are you?" she asked, trying not to look as Juliet drew enough blood to fill a second vial. As if she didn't have enough to panic about: the last thing she needed was to know that Ben knew.

"No, I'm going to bring it back to camp with us and keep it my tent," Juliet assured her, and some of the pressure in her chest released. So long as Jack continued to respect Juliet's privacy, no one had to know what they were doing at night after he and everyone else was asleep.

By the time Juliet wheeled the monitor over, Kate was almost relaxed; it was easy to imagine that she was in a regular doctor's office back in the real world, and that this was all standard.

"Lift up your shirt," Juliet instructed her, squeezing the gel onto her skin and picking up the wand, and a moment later, the screen lit up with the same was grainy image that Kate had watched with Jack days before.

It felt like an eternity had passed since then; it made her sad to think that he wouldn't be there to watch it change and grow – not until it was too big to hide – but seeing it again strengthened her resolve not to let it go without a fight, reminding her of why she'd decided to do this in the first place.

"That's so amazing," she told Juliet, a dazed grin creeping over her face at the thought that that was a baby: her baby; that she was a mother or would be if everything went according to plan.

"It really is," Juliet agreed to her surprise, returning her smile as she shifted the wand to get a better look. "Everything looks healthy."

Even though Juliet had told her as much when she confirmed that she was pregnant, Kate couldn't help feeling relieved at these words. So far, so good. "Can you tell what it is yet?" she asked, her excitement mounting despite the promise she'd made to herself to wait until they were both out of danger.

"Judging by the size of the foetus, you're about eight weeks along, so no, not for at least another two months," Juliet confessed, her smile fading, and instead of the obvious disappointment, a new feeling washed over Kate:

Dread.

"And I'll be dead by then," she finished for her, the mood in the examination room darkening now that one of them had said it aloud.

"It's not too late to change your mind, Kate," Juliet insisted, switching the machine off and turning to face her, and Kate felt sick to her stomach at the realisation that she wasn't going to try to deny it. Either she didn't have much faith in her own abilities, or she knew how impossible it all was. "I can give you the first pill now, the second one in a couple of days. I'll tell Jack we didn't get it all the first time – he never has to know that you lied."

Everything looks healthy, she heard Juliet say again, the words sparking something fierce and primal inside of her. How could she tell her that her baby was perfect with one breath, and then try to talk her out of having it with the next?

"You mean he never has to know you lied. That's what you're worried about, right?" she retorted, sitting up, even though somewhere deep down inside she knew that Juliet was only trying to help. "That he'll blame you when he finds out, because you're the one he trusted – you're the one who was supposed to be on his side."

She expected Juliet to give her the fight she needed to get her anger out, confused when she walked back over to the bench. "He cried, you know – when I told him," she said, opening a drawer, and for a moment, Kate wasn't sure what to make of this, until she added, "He thinks you hate him now – that you feel betrayed by him."

She was talking about Jack: about his reaction to the lies that she'd asked her to feed him. Kate tried not to let her see how deeply the knowledge that Jack had broken down like that affected her, but she couldn't stop her voice quivering as she asked, "What's that?" nodding at the little bottle in front of her.

"It's what I gave Claire and the other women," Juliet explained in the same casual tone, but as grateful as Kate was that she wasn't going to push the point any further, she couldn't help feeling apprehensive.

"I saw what happened to her, even after she had the baby," she reminded her, shuddering at the memory. Of all the things they'd witnessed on the island, that had to have been one of the most harrowing.

"No, you didn't," Juliet confessed, preparing the syringe as if she hadn't voiced her protest. "You saw exactly what Ben wanted you to see."

"What does Ben have to do with any of this?" Kate insisted, fear gripping her insides when Juliet turned to meet her eyes and she saw the shame there.

"He told me to put an implant in her, to make her sick."

Kate had always thought that her part in keeping them captive at the Hydra was reason enough to dislike her, but what she'd just owned to was so much worse. She wondered if Jack even knew. Surely he wouldn't have invited her to come live with them if he did. "Why? What did she ever do to you?"

"He asked me to do it so that I could save her, and you would let me stay," Juliet explained, defensiveness creeping into her tone, but as she approached the bed, Kate scrambled off it, backing towards the door.

She wanted to run, to get as far from her as she could, but something was holding her there, as though by an invisible thread. "You tell me you almost killed Claire and I'm just supposed to trust you?"

"Yes, you are, Kate, or else you and your baby will die," Juliet agreed, and Kate's heart sank. As much as the idea of being dependant on her after everything she'd just admitted terrified her, she was trapped. "Now I need you to lie back down and let me do my job."

"Is it going to hurt it?" she asked, pushing up her shirt, watching Juliet wipe the gel off and rub alcohol onto the spot where she was going to give her the injection. She wasn't sure that she could trust her to tell her the truth, but something about Juliet's professional manner convinced her to relax.

"See that line? That's the needle," she explained, tracing its path on the monitor with her free hand as it pierced Kate's skin, "and that's your baby there. It won't feel anything – I promise."

She smiled to show how earnest was, and gritting her teeth, Kate forced herself to nod. It was far from perfect, but for the time being, she had no choice but to put her faith in Juliet. She wasn't working for Ben anymore: now that she'd moved over to their side, she had nothing to gain from harming either of them. At least that was what she kept reminding herself.

"So what now?" Kate asked when Juliet dropped her off outside her tent later that night.

"Well, I'm going to keep an eye on your white blood cell count, and that will tell us whether or not the injections are working," she explained, doing her best to reassure her as she added, "Then, if we have to, we'll try something else."

As she started towards her own shelter, Kate wanted to ask her if she thought the chances of that being successful were any better, but she didn't think she could handle any more bad news. What she needed more than anything was to be with someone that she knew she could trust: someone who would make her feel safe, even if it was an illusion.

"Juliet?" she called after her before she could think about it too much, continuing when she stopped, "Can you get Jack? Please?"

Juliet arched an eyebrow at her, her blue eyes wide with surprise, but to her credit, she didn't press her about telling him the truth. "Sure," she agreed, forcing a tight smile as she turned and disappeared into the darkness.

When she was gone, Kate crawled back into bed, staring up at the tarp as she waited to see whether or not he would accept the olive branch she was offering. She couldn't blame him if he was hesitant after everything she'd put him through, but that didn't make her any less relieved when the flap lifted, and she glanced over in time to see him slip into her tent.

"Hey," he murmured in that concerned tone that always melted her heart, but his smile was tense as he hovered inside the entrance, and she knew that he hadn't been asleep. He was too awake; too alert. He was probably lying there replaying the last few days in his mind just as she had been before he came in.

"How are you…?" He swallowed, and she could see that he was trying not to think about what she'd just been through what he thought she'd been through. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," she confessed, wincing and pressing a hand to stomach when she tried to sit up and discovered how tender it still was.

It wasn't a lie, but she couldn't help feeling ashamed when Jack moved over to her side, taking hold of her shoulders to ease her back down. "Hey, it's okay, you don't have to get up," he told her, brushing a wayward curl from her cheek in an impulsive gesture that made her smile.

And realise how much she missed him.

The look in his eyes as they locked on hers told her that he'd missed her too.

"Do you need anything?" he asked to break the silence that followed, clearing his throat when his voice came out strained and hoarse. "Food? Water? An extra blanket?" He flashed her what should have been an impish grin, but it fell flat in his despair. "I'm sure I could get one from Sawyer."

"No, I'm okay," she assured him with a polite smile, and he looked disappointed, convinced that she was shutting him out, until she decided to extend the olive branch a little further. "But… Will you sleep in here with me tonight? I don't wanna be alone."

He drew in a sharp breath, and some of the light returned to his eyes as he nodded, too overcome to speak.

She shifted onto her side, and he settled behind her with his arms circling her waist, though she noticed that he was careful not to let his hands make contact, as if afraid of the emptiness he would find there. She hated watching him grieve for something that he'd never lost, but she couldn't tell him how much he still had to lose, so she moulded herself against him, covering his hands with her own, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, slicking her skin with his tears.

I'm not sure if anyone cares, but for anyone who thinks Jack is being too emotional, when he cried last chapter, with Juliet,it was because he thoughtwas losing Kate and he didn't know what to do. This time it's all about the baby and his guilt.

Given that interest in this fic keeps dropping (despite the fact that I was up until 3am finishing this chapter, which if anyone is wondering is more than 2,500 words long) this will probably be the last update for a while. I'm sorry that so many of you hate Juliet, and that there's too much angst, but those are both key elements that I can't take out.

In the next chapter I was going to have Juliet start an experimental and potentially lethal new treatment that will lead to Jack finding out (and find out he will, in the most dramatic way possible), but that's only if people want to see it. Otherwise I'll just focus on my new fic. ;)