Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. Which means I do not own Jay Hogart, unfortunately. I only own my own made-up characters, like Mark.

Author's Note: I actually got a REVIEW. BIG thanks to AllieB0524, the first person to review my story. I'm continuing the story because of reviews, so if you like it, let me know. Well, here's Chapter Two. Love it or hate it?

Chapter Two: If Only

"Oh, you're with Ellie?" I wondered aloud, probably not meaning to really say it. He nodded as if it should've been obvious. Obvious that he'd eventually find someone else and move on. That didn't mean I had to like it, though.

I nodded in response, and he looked at me carefully. Ellie looked uneasy as she clung to his hand and stared at the floor.

"I'm gonna go say hi to Jimmy, I'll be back in a bit…" she wandered off, leaving me and Sean alone. I gave Sean a look, a look I used to give him when I didn't approve of what he was doing. He recognized the look and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Look, Emma…" he began, trying to find the right words to say, the words that would pacify me. He was taller now, and more grown-up looking, dressed in a white button-down shirt and a black tie, two things I never would've expected Sean Cameron to wear. I wondered if he and Ellie were married, or just dating. The odds pointed to the former, but I tried to keep my hopes up.

I tried to make eye contact with him. "Look at what, Sean? You left me without even consulting me. You just believed Jay Hogart – out of all people – and left me for Ellie. Don't you understand what you and I could've had? Sean, we were together in middle school, didn't that mean anything to you? Didn't we mean anything to you?" I was getting desperate, and I felt tears start coming into my eyes. How could Sean be with Ellie…?

He reached down and placed his hands on my cheeks, which were wet from the onslaught of salty tears. He looked at me, right in the eyes, and I could feel butterflies prancing around in my stomach. "Emma, I'm sorry, but Ellie and I are married. This can't happen again – we can't happen again. It's all in the past…we have to start thinking about the present." He let go of my face and gave me one more apologetic gaze before he walked away.

Manny and I sat in the living room of my apartment five hours later, laughing and telling stories of old classmates who we had seen that night.

She smiled and said, "I can't believe Jimmy was walking! He looked great, the doctors really fixed him, huh? And how about him and Ash…four kids! Who would've thought? Oh, and Paige…with Spinner! I knew it would work itself out in a few years." She rambled on and on. "Darcy and Peter, Toby and that guy…I always knew Toby was gay…Marco and Dylan still together after all these years." Then, her eyes dimmed a bit. "I didn't see Craig, though. I wonder what he's up to."

It was hard to believe that after ten years, Manny still had a thing for Craig Manning, even though she had a serious boyfriend, Mark, some small-time actor she had met at a loft party in New York.

Manny grinned mischievously. "And what about that look you got from Jay Hogart?! He looked absolutely miserable, you know. What was up with that? He was staring at you half the night like he wanted to say something. That kind of creeped me out, since you were never even friends with him."

I tried to shake it off, and giggled. "I know, what WAS that about? He must've really liked the way I ignored him all through high school!"

Manny cracked up, and I smiled. It was easy to act happy, even after Sean had basically rejected me. But then, she mentioned him, and I felt about ready to crumble.

"I saw you talking to Sean. That jerk, did you set him straight for leaving you?"

I struggled to think of the right words to say, and I looked into Manny's chocolate brown eyes, trying to tell her without words. She didn't really get it, and gave me a questioning look.

"He's married to Ellie now," I announced quietly, and that was when Manny finally understood. She nodded and hugged me, while I wept freely into her shoulder. She knew all about my "undying love" for Sean, and she must've known how badly this was killing me.

We stayed that way for a while, silent until Manny had fallen asleep on the couch, and I had dragged myself into my small bedroom to think. I laid in bed, wondering why Sean had chosen Ellie Nash over me, his first love. Was she prettier? I didn't know. Smarter? Probably. But she definitely didn't understand him like I did. I also wondered why he had believed Jay on the spot, instead of coming to me to ask if all the abortion and pregnancy rumors were really true. And why had Jay lied in the first place? I knew he was a sniveling son of a bitch, but I never thought he'd stoop as low as breaking up my relationship with Sean. I wanted to kill him.

Before I fell asleep, I vowed to take Jay Hogart down. So he'd never ruin my life again.

The days passed slowly, with me going to work at nine a.m. and then returning before six. Sometimes Manny visited, but mostly she worked, and auditioned, and spent time with Mark. I was lonely, and had no other close friends, so I spent my days watching television and reading love novels. There was nothing else to do.

One day, my apartment's buzzer screeched, and I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Who would be buzzing me? Manny and my parents already had keys, and no one else ever came to visit. I pressed my mouth to the speaker and asked, "Who is it?" A voice found my ear and said, "FedEx. There's a package for you, Miss Nelson, and you need to sign for it."

I sighed. Of course, the one visitor I ever got, and it was a FedEx man. "Come on up," I said quietly into the speaker box, and I buzzed him inside.

A few minutes later, he reached my door and knocked. I fixed my hair to look presentable, then I swung the door open.

And there stood Jay Hogart.

Author's Note: Oooh, the suspense. Hehe. Possible Jemma? Or is it possible that Emma will murder Jay? XD Find out next time...