Chapter 13: A Night Like This

I let my head fall back down on the pillow, the events of the previous evening washing over me in cool waves. I couldn't help but smile just a little…

I picked up the black rose and held it over my face. It didn't seem real, more like it had been plucked from some mythical garden of another time. The petals were smooth and soft and a pleasant unearthly smell emanated from it; I'll never be able to aptly describe the beauty of that simple, elegant flower. Somehow I don't think words could ever do it justice.

It wasn't until I began to wonder whether black roses wilted like their colorful brethren that my mind turned towards my usual practical thoughts.

The terrors of reality hit me all at once.

Had he bitten me? I'd been so completely far gone last night I don't think I would have even noticed! I dropped the rose and my hands flew to my neck, fingers probing every inch of skin…and nothing. Still, I couldn't heave that sigh of relief just yet. I went to my mirror and looked myself up and down. The tension made the search seem to last an eternity. Finally, I decided I was clean and I breathed that sigh with such a release I'd never felt before.

I sat back down on the bed, still feeling a little shaken. If he had bitten me…oh god, I didn't even want to think about it. What if he wanted to turn me into a vampire now? There was no way…I could never do what he does. I'd never be able to live with myself (despite the fact that I'd be dead). Though if he did decide to turn me I wouldn't have much of a choice, now would I?

I wracked my brain, trying to remember exactly how it was that vampires were made. I knew I'd read it somewhere some time or another. Then it occurred to me that the probability that we humans actually knew the truth was highly unlikely – having already learned that lesson the hard way.

But then a new thought crossed my mind. He'd gotten what he wanted, or so I could easily assume. What if I never saw him again? I weighed this revelation back and forth as I took a shower. Up until now I'd hated everything about him, or at least I thought I had. He probably thought I was insane – going from anger to tears to, well, you know… Not that I cared what he thought of me. Because I hadn't since I met him and I certainly wasn't going to start now. Even if we had…ugh, now I was beginning to think that last night had only made things worse. Well it wasn't like it mattered; I mean it's not like we could have an actual long-term relationship. Do vampires even have long-term relationships? Lestat definitely didn't strike me as the "commitment" type.

I stood in front of my mirror in a towel just staring. I simply wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't sad or angry or happy; just that awful, damnable confused. So we'd had sex. So what. It didn't change the fact that he was a vampire and that ultimately I still had no idea what his motives were. I could already hear Ben calling me an idiot. No, last night was, well, it was what it was and there was no point in dwelling on it. Here I was again, stuck having to wait for Lestat to return to get some answers. It was a miserable place to be. I reminded myself that I was human, destined to age and die. I wanted someone to grow old with, to have a family…

Oh my god.

Oh my god!

I had to turn and lean against my sink so I wouldn't fall over. I may have been pretty out of it last night, but I was more than certain that a condom had never become involved. I'd stopped my birth control after I broke up with my last boyfriend. What was the point – it wasn't like I was dating anyone!

Oh my god.

Could vampires even…

Well they were perfectly capable of performing the act so it would only make sense…

I had to get to a pharmacy.