Chapter 25: The Aftermath

Strong arms held my limp body. Lucidity came slowly, but as it did it felt…different. Boundless sensations hit me all at once. My head dangled back over the arm that gripped my shoulders. I was awake, but I couldn't move for all the things breaking over me. I could hear music, beer bottles clanking together, people shouting happily, TV sets and radios. For the first time in my life I was drowning in sound.

I opened my eyes slowly. I blinked twice to clear away remaining blurriness. But nothing was blurry. I could see the doors of the Wall, the faces of the people still passing in and out. I looked up at the sky and I could see a billion stars despite the bright city lights. The sight made me gasp, pulling oxygen into still lungs. I started to cough madly trying to catch my breath. The arms lowered me to the ground as my whole body spasmed, all the synapses in my brain firing simultaneously.

"Shh," a voice said, hand rubbing my back as I lurched back and forth, side to side, trying to breathe, "Calm down, it's alright."

Slowly it dawned on me that despite the reactions of my body and my mind, I wasn't suffocating. Hyperventilation slowed to heaving slowed to tiny breaths. I tested the air, expecting another body lock-up and dizziness, but neither came. The hand was still rubbing my back. I turned to face its owner. It was Lestat kneeling beside me on the pavement. I'd turned my head too fast; my vision caught every frame from left to right like a camera, leaving me dizzy and disoriented.

"You'll get used to it." Lestat said as he took my hand and helped me to my feet.

"Used to…" the words caught in my mouth leaving the question unfinished. I ran my tongue over the back of my teeth and gasped again, clamping my hand over my mouth. I was so stunned I staggered a bit; Lestat caught me and set me right again.

I looked down at my hands; my skin was clean. The scars were gone from my arms; they were soft and pale. I reached for the place on my neck where Brutus had bitten me but found nothing, just smooth flesh. Now I looked at Lestat with comprehension. He stared back proudly.

I couldn't breathe again, though now I knew it was unnecessary. On still shaky legs I turned and ran. I didn't even realize just how fast my legs were carrying me until I noticed I'd passed my apartment building four blocks ago. Lestat hadn't followed me, or at least I couldn't see him.

I started to walk back; I moved my feet with deliberation, ensuring that they wouldn't get away from me again. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. It was impossible! I remembered losing consciousness in Brutus' grip; the warm coppery liquid that slid down my throat before I was completely lost in the dark. I clasped my hands behind my head, then around my shoulders, then my waist, completely unsure of what to do with them – with myself. This wasn't right…I wasn't meant to…there was no way. I didn't know what to do.

I came to the stairs of my building and sat down. He would be inside; I knew it. Had he done this to me? Or was it Brutus? What about my friends, my job, my life? Never again would I sit out on the café patio in the sun. Never again would the daylight wake me through the blinds after a hard night's work. How could this have happened?

I felt Lestat swoop down to sit beside me before I saw him. Here it was again, I couldn't look at him. I pulled my knees up to my chest and let my forehead rest there. We just sat like that for who knows how long.

"I had to do it." He said firmly, yet with a hint of apology. "You had lost too much blood; you would have died."

I didn't move. "So it was you and not Brutus?" I spoke into my legs.

"Yes."

"I…I can't do this."

"You'll learn."

I looked up angrily, "What if I don't want to?"

His eyes were soft in the moonlight. "You don't have a choice."

I turned back to my knees. "Lestat, I can't kill anyone. I won't."

"Don't worry about that now," he said, which surprised me.

I stood up to go to my apartment and let my covers make this all go away.

"You can't stay there anymore." Lestat said behind me, "Not during the day anyhow."

I closed my eyes and felt a single tear make its way down my cheek. I caught it halfway; it was thick and ran sluggishly. I looked down at my finger and saw red. Lestat tugged at my elbow. He wiped the rest of the tear away and licked his finger. I was at a loss. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me softly. Then he took my hand and we walked away from my world down the deserted street.