Hello. As almost always, it's taken me a while to get the next chapter of a story up - sorry about that :( The usual "not enough time" factors, as well as having trouble finding a way to start this particular chapter. My first attempt, back in later December, didn't feel like it really worked; this month, I found my way in, and cobbled together the time to write this up. And, I found that I had more I wanted to do before starting the Decepticons' "big plan", so I ended up with too much material for only one chapter. So, here at last is the next part of the story, anyway; I wouldn't think that it would take me months to write the next, as I really do know exactly where it's going; but, with my track record, all I can guarantee is that I will finish the story eventually, as I have with all my previous ones.
By the way, I found, from reading the transcripts on Robert Jung's electric-escape(dot)net, that the song I use with Optimus Prime here was also used with Prime, briefly, in the "Mystery Science Theatring" of "Transformers: the Movie" at a couple of Botcon conventions. For the record, I had the idea of Primeand thissong months before I had ever heard of the Botcon MSTing, let alone read any transcripts. So, while the MSTing is amusing, I had my silly idea completely independent of theirs. Also, as with much of my other stuff, I do deliberately use some lines from the movie and TV cartoon, in tribute/parody. Anyway, hope anyone reading this enjoys!
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"Ughhh …" Nightbeat's higher functions slowly came back on-line. What … happened? His head felt like it was about to fall off again …
Rocks.
Rocks? Yes … the last thing he could remember was a bunch of stones, hurled by …
Optimus Prime?
That didn't make any sense. So little, in fact, that Nightbeat said "That doesn't make any sense," out loud. He lifted his head up, allowing his optics to focus on the sight of the aforementioned Autobot leader …
Punching himself in his silver mouthplate. That … didn't make a whole lot of sense, either.
Speaking of not making sense, the addled little Autobot Wheelie was running up to Optimus.
"Hey, hazy, crazy Prime! Why pound yourself to slime?" the orange bot sing-songed.
"Silence!" Optimus boomed commandingly, grabbing Wheelie and dropkicking him.
Well … while that may have been atypical of Prime's usual management style, the action wasn't completely nonsensical.
But, then he went back to hitting himself. What was going on?
That seemed to be the same question Hot Rod was asking. The "bad boy" Autobot suddenly came skidding down the side of the dormant volcano which housed the Ark. Had he been standing on the top, yelling "I'm the King of the World!" AGAIN?
"Optimus!" Hot Rod exclaimed, leaping between … Prime's face and his fist. "Unh!" he cried, falling to one side.
"Get out of the way, Hot Rod!" Optimus exclaimed. Then, he reached down to Hot Rod. "On second thought, come here, puny Autobot!" Prime picked up Hot Rod, then sat down on a large rock, put Hot Rod over his knee, and began spanking the brash younger robot.
Again … a little unusual, but, not that unreasonable.
"Rrrr ... ragh!" Ironhide, looking like he'd been through a series of rock crushers, was pulling himself up. "Prime!" he exclaimed. "Ya need help, son! One way or t' other, ahm takin' you inside! … After ya finished doin' whatcher doin'," he added.
"How considerate, Ironhide," Prime said sneeringly (since when did Optimus Prime sneer?). "Before we go in, why don't you – take out the trash!" he cried, hurling the battered Hot Rod at Ironhide. The tough-skinned robot fell, again. "Ha ha ha ha!"
Just as Brawn drove up, in vehicle mode. "Man, Prime, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find salt around here – especially ROCK salt! Heh heh heh! Hey!" Brawn transformed, leaving his load of rock salt on the road behind him. "What's going on here?" Brawn looked around him, apparently scanning the field of damaged and dazed Autobots.
"Just … doing a little redecorating! Ha ha ha ha!" Prime laughed, turning to face Brawn.
"Prime …" Brawn said, clenching his fist, "don't make me redecorate your face!"
"Well, I've already been working on that … but you're welcome to try, as well!" Prime declared, charging at the shorter robot.
Brawn connected first, knocking Prime back a little. "Umph!" Prime said. "Prime's slower than I thought!"
What? Nightbeat's mind asked.
"And your strength is impressive, Brawn," the bizarrely behaving Optimus continued. "But it is nothing compared to the might of Megatron!"
Megatron? Nightbeat's detective sense was tingling. Or, maybe that was just from the rocks …
"Er … which means you are a little closer to MY power, but still no match for me … Optimus Prime!" Prime continued, joining both arms together for a mighty swing which sent Brawn flying across the field.
"Ooog … what hit me?" Topspin was coming back on-line next to Nightbeat.
"Rocks, most likely," Nightbeat replied.
"What … is Prime doing?" Topspin asked, brushing rockdust off of his teal visor in disbelief.
Prime had gotten the advantage on Brawn. He picked the green and yellow mech up. "A full battle against you might be an interesting contest, Autobot," Prime said, "but I don't have that much time to spare."
"Something … is WRONG with Optimus Prime!" Topspin exclaimed.
"Yes, I've reached that same conclusion," Nightbeat said, as Prime brought Brawn down on top of Wheeljack's launch box.
"So, I'm afraid I'll just have to get you out of the way!" Prime concluded laughingly, picking up the launch box control switch.
"Topspin," Nightbeat said, "get inside. See if you can find any help, to slow Prime down!"
Brawn wasn't able to get up in time. The box went off, sending him flying much farther than Prime's blow had sent him earlier. "I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soaaarrrr!" Brawn cried, fading into the distance.
"What about you, Nightbeat?" Topspin asked.
"I'm going … to go investigate!" Nightbeat declared, pulling out a notepad.
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The Decepticons were getting a good chuckle out of the battered, beaten, and flying Autobots … except for the Insecticons, who, while amused, were still a little grumpy about everybody else who'd jumped in on their plan, and, well, their not-THAT-large control room. And Starscream, who was being critical.
"Be careful, Megatron!" he admonished. "You almost let it slip that you were pulling Prime's circuits!"
"Relax, you panic-monger!" Megatron, in too good a mood to be irritated by Starscream, replied. "I recovered brilliantly! The Autobots don't suspect a thing!"
"Hmm …" Starscream said dubiously. "Well, they haven't exactly poured out of their base in response to Prime's … acting out," he conceded.
"Yes!" Megatron agreed. "They are too foolishly trusting to monitor each other's activities!" A couple of the Decepticons felt a little more paranoid after processing this statement for a few moments.
"But maybe not too dumb to run for help," Dirge interjected. "Look!"
The monitor showed Topspin starting to make his way into the Ark.
"Ooo!" Thundercracker exclaimed. "Megatron! Can I get this one?"
"…Very well," Megatron said, stepping aside from the control panel.
"All right, Wheeljack," Thundercracker had Optimus say, as he picked up the inert inventor, "let's see if you can make a tackle!" Prime hurled Wheeljack at Topspin, catching him in the back with Wheeljack's shoulders.
"Ooo, what a tough hit!" Thundercracker, and Optimus Prime, said. "Topspin, you got – JACKED UP!" they exclaimed, joined by several other jet 'cons when they realized where Thundercracker was going.
"I don't get it," Megatron said.
Jazz had come out of the Ark in time to see his leader's attack of Topspin with Wheeljack. Pulling his flame thrower out, he ran towards Prime, while surveying the damaged and dazed Autobots, and general mess, around him. "Prime, man, what's goin' on?" he asked concernedly. "You're actin' crazy! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!"
"Prime ain't no Hollaback Girl!" Optimus Prime exclaimed.
As he was instructed to … by … Megatron?
"In my duties studying Earth," Megatron began, in response to the incredulous stares from his fellow Decepticons, "in order to best conquer and plunder it, I sometimes come across …It had a martial beat! It … Nobody questions Megatron!" Megatron finally concluded, shaking his fist threateningly. The Decepticons quickly found other things to occupy their attention.
And were helped by Soundwave's announcement that Buzzsaw's plan was ready to proceed.
"Excellent!" Megatron replied, stepping aside from the mind control panel.
"Buzzsaw, transform!" Soundwave said, opening his chest panel. "Operation: destruction of Optimus Prime!"
"Well, I know that!" Buzzsaw remarked. "It was MY masterstroke, after all!" Nonetheless, the bird-esque Decepticon transformed into cassette mode, taking his place in Soundwave's compartment.
"I demand to know what this 'masterpiece' is, Megatron!" Starscream said, as Soundwave transformed into a Transformer-sized cassette player and connected to the command console.
"Yes, yes, yes!" Shrapnel added. "Us too, too, too!"
"Oh, don't worry," Megatron responded gloatingly. "It is something which will provide a most unique and … appropriate end to our foe. Heh heh ha ha ha!"
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Jazz was still stunned by Prime's proclamation of non-hollabackgirlness, and his subsequent attempt to break his own windshield with Hot Rod's head, when music began playing over the radio in Prime's tractor trailer cab chest. Strings, a choir … and Optimus … singing? Again?
"I believe I can fly," the Autobot leader sang in tune to the music. "I believe I can touch the sky," he proclaimed, waving his arms in the air. "Think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away," Optimus continued, as he whacked Jazz with his long armed "wings" as he spun around in a circle.
"Not … my kinda … hit … man …" Jazz groaned, as he passed out.
"I believe I can soar," the mind-controlled Optimus Prime continued, as he turned away from the deactivated Autobots scattered on the ground, and dance/lurched his way toward the Ark. "I can see me runnin' through that open do-oo-or…"