Feelings...
AN: This is the chapter 2 of Songs of the Heart. This took place in Season 7. AU. The songs are 'Everytime' by Britney Spears and 'Invisible Man' by 98 Degrees.
Pairing: Spike/Buffy (implied) Faith/Buffy Kennedy/Willow
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Faith's POV
It's been almost 9 months since visited me in prison. At first she visited almost every week but suddenly that stopped. I don't know why. Maybe because she didn't tell me. I guess she didn't trust me. Who would trust someone like me anyhow? Anyway after a couple of months of her not visiting, I've decided to just move on and forget about her. Yeah right! Like I would! Well to tell you the truth...I almost did. When Wesley told me Angelus is back I stopped thinking about her and just thought of soul boy needing my help. So I escaped and help Angel get back to his old self. After that was over I thought I could stay there and help them with all the demons lurking in LA. But then Willow appeared and well...told me that she needed help. She needed help...that's the only thing that entered my mind...so here I am...back in Sunnyhell...back to her.
At first I never thought I'd go back here. I want to let go of my past and move on. And that past is Buffy...but no...my past keeps on dragging me back. I sighed. Hey at least Willow forgave me. I was really shocked when she told me she killed a person...or rather skinned him alive. I guess we were alike...Red and I. We sided at the dark side and well...killed someone. At least she had a reason. Her girlfriend Tara was killed by that person. That's a good reason right? But what about me? What's my reason? Jealousy... Not really a good reason huh? Me being jealous of soul boy and the Scooby gang that I decided to betray them...and her. Hey stop thinking of the past and move on right? The past is the past and that's where it'll be.
Anyway...I found Buffy at the cemetery with Spike. She said he got a soul. Another soul boy...that she cares about. I can tell that they're an item from what I can see in his eyes. So...she's taken again...by another vampire. I don't know why she likes vampires so much. I mean they're dead. I shook my head and decided to just leave it...though the the pain in my heart just keeps on getting bigger. Hey stop thinking about your emotions and just concentrate on helping her so we could get out of here. It hurts...but I gotta deal right? I looked at her for awhile and I can't help but feel that she's...somewhat different. Not in the physical way coz...she still so fucking beautiful. I don't what it is but there is really something different about her.
We were heading towards her house and well...she didn't say anything. So I didn't say anything too. In fact...I just want to get the hell away from her. I shook my head slightly and she noticed.
"You okay?"
"Uh...yeah...just tired."
"You can sleep in the house you know..."
Sleep in your house while your making out with a vampire?! No way... I frowned and looked at her.
"I don't think that's such a good idea..."
She smiled a little.
"Don't worry...everyone will forgive you like I did..."
Did? Meaning she forgave me in the past? I guess she thought I was afraid of what everyone will say if I sleep there. But...I don't give a damn about what other people think. I just shrugged.
"Your the boss B..."
So we continued walking until we reached her house. I stepped inside and looked around. Still the same. I noticed girl looking at me, smiling. She had a long brown hair and well...she looked like Buffy...just a little taller though...so I'm guessing this is Dawn.
"Faith?"
I just looked at her and smiled a little. I really don't know her that well but Buffy told me that she knew me. It was kinda weird actually. I thought that she'll be a little...I don't know...younger. I mean she's a teenager now. How is that possible when Ms. S wasn't pregnant when I was still sane...at least that's what I remember.
"Hey..."
I was surprised when she ran towards me and hugged me. I looked at Buffy and she just shrugged. I then wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. I'm really not much of a hugging person but...just for today...I'll make an exemption.
"I forgive you..."
She forgives me? But...I didn't do anything to her...did I? I pulled away slightly and smiled at her. Better not freak her out, although I'm already freaked out.
"Uh...thanks..."
She smiled again.
"This is so cool! We're gonna have so much fun tonight! You gotta tell me all the things that happened to you and I'll tell you mine."
Okay...I'm freaking out here...I looked at Buffy and she seemed to understand what I was thinking. She moved closer to Dawn and tapped her on the back.
"Dawn...Why don't you make something for Faith to eat."
She nodded and hugged me again.
"This is great...the chosen two together again..."
She pulled away and walked towards the kitchen. The chosen two...it's been awhile since I heard that. But we're definitely not together again. I looked at floor and Buffy laid her hand on my back.
"I know this is all confusing to you but...I promise I'll tell it to you okay?"
I shook my head.
"Nah...I think I understand most of it..."
She nodded and looked up the stairs.
"I'm going to take a shower...you going to be alright alone?"
"Yeah B...don't worry about me. I'm a big girl now."
She smiled at me and I smiled back. She then walked towards the stairs and I just headed towards the kitchen. There was Dawn taking out a pizza on the ref. I took a seat to the counter and looked at her as she put the whole pizza in the microwave. She then turned to me and smiled.
"It's really good to see you Faith...I missed you."
I smiled at her.
"Missed you too squirt..."
"I missed that..."
"What?"
"You calling me squirt..."
Oh...then that means I called her squirt before? It feels like it... I smiled as she took the whole pizza out of the microwave and offered it to me. I took a slice and began to eat it. It's been awhile since I've eaten some pizza. She looked at me leaning her head on her hand and looking at me as I'm eating. I think this girl has a crush on me or something...
"So...tell me what you've doing these past few months..."
I shrugged and told her everything that happened inside the prison and also what happened to Angel.
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Buffy's POV
I went inside my room and took a cold shower. I just thought that if I took a cold shower then I would stop thinking about Faith. But it didn't work. I'm still thinking about her. When I saw her in the cemetery I felt my heart beating fast. She's actually here... I haven't forgotten about her. How could I when I loved her. I think...I still do. I know I haven't seen her for couple of months now...but that's because I was too busy feeling dead and all. But not once did I stop thinking about her. She's probably mad at me for not visiting her...who wouldn't? I stepped out of the shower and dried myself. I slowly went out of the bathroom with a towel on my body and looked for something to wear. I looked inside and found some shirt and a short. I began to dress myself and decided to look at what Faith is doing. I quickly headed downstairs and looked around. Faith isn't here. Then I heard Dawn's voice in the kitchen. I slowly walked towards it and heard what she's saying.
"Really?! Wow! You really did a good job huh?"
I moved beside the door and tried to listen to their conversation. I'm a little jealous though. She's opening up to Dawn and Angel...but she never opened herself to me.
"Yep! When it was over...I was hoping to stay there...but...Willow came and told me about the big bad thats happening in SunnyD..."
No one talked for awhile. I was about to come in there when Kennedy spotted me.
"Hey Buffy...whatcha doing there?"
I froze for awhile. You know...Kennedy reminds me of Faith back then. She's similar and at the same time...different. Both of them have the 'bad ass' attitude. I sighed and took her hand and went inside the kitchen. Faith and Dawn looked at both of us as we entered.
"Faith...this is Kennedy...Willow's girlfriend..."
She grinned at Kennedy and shook her hand.
"Nice to meet ya Ken...so you're Red's girlfriend...she kinda told me...or should I say babbled me things about you...sorry I don't remember them all because the words were too fast for me to understand..."
I couldn't help but giggle. She's right though...when Willow babbles, sometimes I don't understand her so I just nod my head. I looked at Kennedy and she's grinning too.
"So you're Faith...the dark slayer..."
I frowned at her. Dark...does that mean evil? Coz Faith is not evil now...is she? Faith looked at me still grinning.
"Hey it's alright B...I kinda like it."
I smiled and Kennedy just kept on grinning.
"Well it's nice meeting you Faith...maybe sometime we can...train together..."
"I'd like that a lot..."
She nodded and headed towards her room. Faith still kept on looking at her as she exit the kitchen. She then turned to me and Dawn and began to stretch. I can't help but look at her body as she did that.
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Faith's POV
I started stretching and I seem to noticed Buffy's eyes travel up and down looking at my body. I stopped stretching and looked at her grinning. She looked away and I noticed a faint blush on her cheek. Gotcha B...you like that huh? I looked at Dawn.
"Thanks for the food squirt...but I'm kinda tired now so I think I'm gonna sleep now..."
She nodded and smiled.
"Your welcome Faith...you can sleep in my room if you want...I don't mind."
Buffy then looked at her frowning.
"No Dawn...I think she's going to sleep in my room..."
Dawn then looked at her frowning.
"Well...why don't we make Faith to choose where she wants to sleep?"
Both of them looked at me at the same time waiting my answer where I want to sleep. Wow...the Summers sisters fighting over me. Who to choose who to choose... If I sleep with Dawn...I probably wouldn't sleep at all. She'll probably let me talk about my life again. As for Buffy...I also wouldn't get to sleep too. I mean I would probably too busy looking at her face rather than sleep. So that means that whoever I choose...I wouldn't be able to sleep. Okay better go with plan b...
"Uh...maybe I should just go to a motel and-"
I was surprised when they both said...
"NO!"
At the same time. Guess plan b didn't work...better go with plan c...it always work.
"Then I'll just sleep at the couch then..."
Before both of them answer I walked towards the living room and laid at the couch. Buffy then walked out of the kitchen and looked at me.
"If you're going to sleep there I'm going to get you some blankets. Oh and would you some of my clothes for you to wear?"
I'm going to wear Buffy's clothes? Sure! Why the hell not! I smiled at her and sat up.
"Sure..."
She nodded and headed towards her room. I waited for her for awhile and when she returned with some blankets and clothes I took her clothes and went to the bathroom. She gave me a white fitting shirt and a black short. I began to undress myself and put on Buffy's clothes. When I went out of the bathroom the blankets were in the sofa. I guess she went to her room already...so much for a goodnight. I laid in the sofa really tired and closed my eyes. It wasn't long when I finally dozed off.
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I can hear music. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Oh yeah...I'm at Buffy's house, sleeping at her couch. I slowly closed my eyes and tried to sleep again...but the song just keeps on playing. It's kinda soft...I wonder who's playing it...
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
I then sat up and looked around again. Who's playing that damn song?! Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
Ugh! Now I'm thinking of Buffy again! Gotta get out of here. I quickly stood up and headed towards the backyard door. I closed the door quietly and was surprised to see Spike sitting at the steps. He looked at me grinning.
"Not much of a Britney fan?"
I grinned at him and sat beside him. He was smoking.
"Nah...that song just brings back some of my past..."
He offered me some cigarettes and I took one. He lighted it for me and I can't help but smile at him while breathing out some smokes. Guess he's not that bad of a guy...or a vampire. I looked up at him but he's just looking up.
"How about you? Not much of a music lover?"
He smirked and looked at me.
"Well I do listen to some music but...not that kind! But at least it's Dawn who's playing it. If it were Buffy she'll just play that damn cd over and over again..."
Cd? I wonder what cd he's talking about? Maybe its the cd that I...nah. Not Buffy...she'll only play it once. I shook my head slightly and focused on looking at him.
"About Buffy...you two an item now?"
She smiled looked at the ground for awhile then looked up at me.
"Was...but I wouldn't call it an item..."
I frowned not getting what he's saying.
"What do you mean?"
"I love her but...she said she's just using me...and that she could never love me."
Ouch...that kinda hurt. I never thought Buffy would say those nasty things but...
"What do you mean using? Using you for what?"
"For sex..."
Double ouch. Buffy having a one night stand? What the hell happened while I was in prison? What made her do those things? Why would she use Spike for sex? Too many questions keep entering my mind. But another thing that entered my mind and it seems that it's stuck inside: 'Buffy having sex with Spike.' Kinda hurt...her choosing again some besides me. I sigh and just looked up at the dark sky.
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Buffy's POV
Ugh! That Dawn playing her Britney cd again!! I tossed and turn trying not to hear that music. I don't know why but...it made me think of Faith again...
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
Ohhhh
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
Faith...I never did stop thinking about her. I shook my head and put a pillow on my head trying not to hear the music. Soon the music fadded. I sighed and removed the pillow on my head. I looked at the ceiling for awhile thinking of Faith when I heard another one of Dawn's cd. I groaned and sat up.
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Faith's POV
I told Spike that I'm going back to bed and he just said...
'Good luck sleeping...'
I frowned as he said that and made my way inside the house. I was glad when I didn't hear anything. Just peace and quiet. I smiled as I made my way to the couch. I stopped dead as I heard another song. It just made me think about Buffy and her boy toys more...
You can hardly wait to tell all your friends
How his kisses taste sweet like wine
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat
Everytime he walks by
Angel...that's what she felt when they were still in love...
And if your feelin down
He'll pick you up
He'll hold you close when your makin' love
He's everything you've been dreamin' of
Oh baby
Riley...Spike...when they were making love to her. I couldn't take it anymore and slowly made my way towards the stairs. Just when I was turning I heard a door close and saw Buffy looking at me.
I wish you'd look at me that wayYour beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine
Tellin' me more
Than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man
You don't see me baby
Yeah...you never did look at me...at least not like when you look at Angel and Riley... She just looked at me for awhile then frowned.
"Faith? What are you doing here?"
Talkin bout nothin' at all
It doesn't matter what the conversation
Just as long as he calls
Lost in a love so real
And so sincere
And you'll wipe away
Each others tears
Your face lights up whenever he appears
I just looked at the ground as the song is being played. I feel stupid. I can really relate to that song. She did treated me like I'm not there...I shook my head and looked at her forcing a smile.
"I...couldn't sleep..."
Your beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine
Tellin' me more
Than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man
"Did Dawn woke you up?"
I see you all the time babyHuh, the way you look at him
I wish it was me sweetheart
Boy I wish it was me
But I guess it never will be
I gritted my teeth and looked away trying not to cry infront of her. It doesn't matter anyway...she can barely see me without the lights on. The only thing that make me see her was the moonlight from her window.
"Yeah..."
oh baby
The invisible man
You don't see me girl
But I love you
Yes I love you
The invisible man
Oh oh oh
Ya ya
The invisible man
Baby, baby, baby
"Okay..."
She slowly made her way towards Dawn's room and knocked on it. Dawn opened it frowning.
"Buffy? What are doing here? What's wrong?"
I heard her sigh.
"Dawn will you keep it down? Some people here are trying to sleep...like Faith?"
She pointed towards me and Dawn looked at me for awhile.
"Sorry...I couldn't sleep and I thought..."
I smiled at her.
"No biggie...just...keep it down okay?"
She nodded and closed her door. Then there was silence again. Buffy was still standing there looking at me...but I can't look at her. Too much pain inside. I turn towards the stairs and stopped when I heard her voice.
"Um...Goodnight Faith..."
I glanced at her and forced a smile.
"Yeah...you too..."
I then slowly walked downstairs and laid down the couch trying to get some sleep. I just hope that I do get some sleep...and stop thinking about my 'past'.