Chapter 2

"Good. Now, why is Giles going to leave?" Ripper instantly grinned.

"Since when do you take-"

"Answer the question." she said threatening, a hand hovering over the first page. He swallowed, a Giles like expression flittering over his face.

"He thinks it's best."

"Why?"

"It just is. It's what everyone needs."

"That's bull shit and even you know it." She tightened her grip on the old page and pulled it towards her slowly.

"It would be better for both of you." She let go of the page.

"How?"

"You depend to much."

"I'm not playing games."

"That's the only answer I have." he said with a shrug.

"Ripper, you know that's not good enough."

"No wonder Rupert wanted to leave. I'd preferred to stay, but not now." he said with a distasteful sneer.

"Alright. I won't try to stop you. Leave. I don't care. It's not worth it." she said before slamming the door.

Giles placed his head on the table and fell asleep.

Buffy walked back to her house. There weren't any demons to attack, no muggers to stop. The night was quiet when she left the shop. And it was still quiet when she got home. Dawn was asleep, and Willow and Tara were in their rooms, on the verge of sleep. She quietly made her way to her room and sat on the bed. Hugging her stuffed pig, Buffy laid there until her exhaustion consumed her.

Dawn was the first up in the morning. Her alarm went off at seven, and she actually go up. Yawning, she went into the bathroom, did her morning routine, wen t back to her room and got dressed, then went down into the kitchen. What she found was strange. There was no one in the lower level of the house. Grinning, she pulled a tub of ice-cream from the freezer, grabbed a bowl a spoon, and began eating breakfast.

Willow and Tara awoke as the bus arrived.

"Morning." Tara said right before yawning. Willow smiled and kissed her nose.

"Think she's back?" Willow asked while stretching.

"Probably." Tara replied, getting out of bed. The two quietly went to Buffy's room and cracked open the door. All the blinds were drawn, and she was curled in the center of the bed, the stuffed pig clutched to her chest. There were tear tracks down her face. They shut the door.

"I feel bad. Really bad." Willow whispered.

"You didn't do anything." Tara said, rubbing her arms. "Come on, we can swing by the shop before classes if we hurry.

Half an hour later, Willow and Tara entered the shop, using the spare key. The shop didn't open for another hour. Tara flicked on the lights and Willow shut the door.

"You think he's still in the back room?" the redhead asked.

"Probably." the blond replied. They made their way to the back room and entered. Giles was still asleep, head on the table. Willow flicked on the low lights and opened the window to let in some fresh air.

"Giles." she said after setting at the table. The scotch bottle was almost empty. "Giles!" The British librarian awoke with a start. He jumped and groaned.

"Bloody hell Willow." he said, rubbing his eyes. He really didn't care if he sounded like Spike. His head was pounding and about to split in half, his mouth felt like cotton and his stomach was protesting the scotch from the night before.

"Up late?" she asked sarcastically.

"What do you want Willow?" he asked as everything began flooding his brain. He groaned, knowing he wasn't leaving before he could make any real thoughts. Willow picked up the bottle and removed it from the table.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. Xander-"

"Yes I know, Xander told you what happened last night. Anything else?" Willow frowned. This wasn't like Giles. Not even like the regular hung-over Giles. He was nicer than this.

"Yes, there is something else!" she snapped. "I don't know what happened between you and Buffy, but we went looking for her last night. We found her at the tower, directly in the center. She looked like she was in serious pain. And then, when we told her about you, she ran. I don't think I've seen that look of horror on her face in a long time." Willow said, anger bringing tears to her eyes.

"Giles, we checked on her this morning. She was crying in her sleep. We hadn't heard her come in last night." Tara said gently.

"And what am I supposed to do about that?" he snarled, refusing to let them know he felt guilty.

"Gee, I don't know. Mabey go over there later and try to talk to her about it?" Willow supplied with anger.

"Go." he snarled. Willow stood and left, slamming the door. Tara left after giving him a pitying and hurt look. Giles put his head in his hands.

Buffy awoke at nine. She groaned and tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. She hadn't had a nightmare the night before, but the dreams in general had made up for it. And the now developed habit of getting up strait away and not dwelling on here nightmares was kicking in.

She got up, stretched, put down the pig, grabbed some clothing and went to the bathroom. After a quick shower, the Slayer dressed and went down into the kitchen. She strained everything out, got a glass of juice, and went into the basement. After finishing off the juice, she started training just for the fun of it. By the time half of her stretches were done, the doorbell rung. With a sigh, she headed upstairs.

"I'm coming hold on." she grumbled as the bell rang again. She'd ignored it the first time, but went up the second time. She reached the door and opened it. Blinking in the bright sunlight, she saw who it was and debated shutting the door. She opted for it. They placed a hand on the door.

"Can we talk?" Giles asked. Buffy sighed, stepped back and opened the door wider to let him in. "Thank you." She shut the door, saying nothing. She crossed her arms. He was beginning to see that the action may no just me for something to do with her arms, but something to do with defense and self-consciousness.

"What do you want?" she asked softly. "I know you remember, so if it's to say you're sorry, forget it."

"I shouldn't have said what I did."

"That's the point. You said it." she replied, walking towards the living room. She sat down and drew her legs to her chest, getting a small as possible.

"I know I did. I'm sorry. I wasn't right." he said, setting on the couch.

"You were, some. I do depend. I don't want to deal tight now. It's not fair to everyone else, I know that. But I do it anyway." she said with a shrug. He cringed, knowing he was referring to what he'd said while drunk. He took off his glasses and began cleaning them.

"You're not a brat."

"I know that." she snapped. "Why are you here anyway? I thought you were going back to England." she said, catching him off guard.

"Is that what you want?" he asked quietly.

"I doesn't matter what I want." she said in a flat voice. He hated that voice. It meant there was pain that she was hiding instead of letting out.

"It does." he tried to assure her. She shook her head slowly.

"No, it doesn't." He saw her swipe at her face. But when she did it two more times in quick precession, he realized she wasn't swiping. She was wiping away tears. He stood and went over to her. The aspirin he'd taken was working on his headache. He knelt beside the chair.

"I know I was wrong. You're not young, not like I said. You are grown enough. You've seen and done more than any person should have to. You are older than you should be. You know what it means to fight to the death and beyond." he said, squeezing her hand. A tear fell. "It always matters what you want Buffy."

"You said I was thinking of myself."

"I was trying to convince myself it was good to leave. That it was the right thing."

"For who?" Buffy asked, looking down at him and forgiving him. She never really could stay mad at Giles. Except for her 18th birthday. It'd taken him a while to earn her trust back again.

"Everyone."

"Why?" He hesitated. Giles watched her, then looked around the room. He sighed lightly.

"I don't want you all taking the easy way out because I'm here. It wouldn't be right or fair. And I couldn't stay here and see the pain you go through." She tried to reclaim her hand, but he held tighter. "Listen Buffy. I'd thought I'd finished my duties as a Watcher. I didn't want to fade into the background once you were...settled again."

"So why are you here?"

"Because my duties are not finished. They'll never be finished. And I know that I'll always need to be here. I need you all, as strange as that may sound." Buffy laughed slightly. "I should have talked to you all, seen if we could have sorted something out." Buffy sighed softly and rested her head against the arm if the chair, right next to his.

"I'm so tired Giles. It's so hard." she whispered. He stood and pulled the desk chair next to the armchair.

"I know it is-" He broke off as a fresh tear ran down her face. His heart jolted. "What is it?" he asked, gently caressing her hair. One tear feel before she regained control and slipped the mask back into place.

"Nothing." she said, wiping away the droplet. He grasped her chin and forced her eyes to his, locking their gazes.

"Buffy, don't hide from me. I know you. What's wrong? Did something happen before I returned?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" Buffy sat up and shifted, removing her hand from his in the process. "Is it about Willow?" Like the night before, she flinched. He frowned. "Did she do something?"

"I don't want-I don't know what you mean." she said.

"You need to talk about it." he pointed out.

"No I don't."

"You're hurting yourself."

"I don't want to talk about it." she said, not even bothering to deny it.

"Buffy-"

"No Giles." she said, standing. She went into the kitchen and down the stairs. He blinked and followed. By the time he got down to the basement, she was at the punching bag, determined to put a hole in it.

"I can't do anything about Willow if you don't tell me."

"There's nothing you can do anyways. It's done." she said while backing up and placing a spin kick on the bag.

"What did she do?" She stopped the bad.

"Damn it Giles! I said I don't NOT want to talk about it!"

"It's eating you alive!" he said, voice raising the equal amount.

"How do you know?!"

"Because I know you!"

"No you don't!"

"I probably know you better than you know yourself! Dear Lord Buffy, you deny yourself anything and everything now!" Buffy's face turned red with anger.

"Then that's MY problem!"

"No it's EVERYONE'S!" They were close to shouting. Buffy turned and went towards the washing machine. She hugged herself, head suddenly hanging.

"Please, leave it alone." she begged quietly. He made his way over to her and placed a hand on either of her shoulders.

"You know I can't and won't do that." She began shaking.

"I can't do it anymore Giles."

"Do what?" he asked, moving a strand of hair from her face. She shook her head.

"Go through the motions. It's not enough. It hurts." He pulled her into his embrace.

"Let me help you."

"You can't. You're leaving." he said with a sniff. He sighed and rested his cheek on her head briefly.

"No, I'm not. I won't leave until I absolutely have to." Buffy tried to smile, but it didn't work.

"Thank you." she said, not even bothering to wipe away the tear.

"Now tell me what I can do to help." he persisted. She broke out of his embrace and hugged herself again.

"You really want to help?" He nodded. "Then kill me." He stared at her in horror. She laughed cruelly at the expression. "I can't do it anymore Giles. They brought me back, with no regards as to what I wanted. What you or Dawn wanted. Anything is better than what I have now." He swallowed, feeling like he was going to be sick.

"Which is?"

"Hell." she said simply. Her words were weighed with emotion. Mostly pain. "All I have is hell." Her face crumbled. "They didn't think- no, didn't believe I could be anywhere else." He felt the bile rising, but moved closer to her. "They ripped me out Giles. I was happy, at peace, complete. And they brought me back. They're torturing me every single moment, and they don't care." she said, a sob at the end. He pulled her back into his arms. "They pulled me from heaven." she cried, her entire body shaking. "And now I'm in hell."

A.N.: Alright, it's only seven pages. But compared to my regular chapter, 20, 50, 100, and over 200, I think that's good. Well, Giles knows. And just to clear it up, no one else does. Yet. I felt that the fight about him leaving had to end quickly. My muse was impatient. Sorry. Please review.