O cessate di piagarmi
O lasciatemi morir
Luci ingrate
Dispietate
Piu di gelo e piu de marmi
Fredde e sorde a miei martir
O cessate di piagarmi
O lasciatemi morir
Piu d'un angue, piu d'un aspe
Crudi e sordid a' miei sospir
Occhi alteri
Ciechi e fieri
Voi potete risanarmi
E godete al mio languir
O cessate di piagarmi
O lasciatemi morir
O cease to wound me
O let me die
Eyes ungrateful
Pitiless
More of ice and more of marble
Cold and deaf to my tortures
O cease to wound me
O let me die
More than a serpent, more than an asp
Cruel and deaf to my sighs
Eyes proud
Blind and cruel
You can again heal me
And you enjoy my languishing
I couldn't take it any more.
"Stop it!" I moaned. He didn't stop. He kept on talking, even took a step closer and leaned towards me as I bent away. The pressure of his words, and beautiful words they were, just as beautiful as he was, forced me down the wall, hugging my knees on the floor. "Please…" I didn't know if I even said the word, or just thought it, but he heard… and kept talking.
I couldn't take it anymore.
"Stop!" I screamed as I exploded outward. He stumbled back, his hair blown out of place, a look of surprise on his face. For once something I had done had fazed him. I stood up and tried to look him in the eye, but ended up looking at his feet.
"I – you – please…"
He smirked and shook his long, black, shiny hair back into place. I took a deep breath and realized that I had to address him on his own terms. In poetry. It was all he spoke, his beautiful words, and it was part of what made him so unbearable.
"Oh… cease to wound me. Oh let me die," I said bitterly, half to myself. Surprise flickered through his piercing blue eyes.
"Eyes ungrateful!" I spat. All those years in service…
"Pitiless!" He had never really cared for the trouble and pain I went through for him.
His icy façade seemed unbroken though I spoke to him as never before.
"More of ice and more of marble…" As the years passed he had seemed less human…
"Cold and deaf to my tortures," I said bitterly. He had never seen my pain, and I had learned not to show it. He looked me in the eyes and opened his mouth to speak. All I had just gained would be lost, he would destroy it. As he started speaking, I muttered to myself, "Oh cease to wound me, oh let me die," He stopped talking when I said die and a look of dismay crossed his perfectly sculpted face. He had never really listened to my talk of death before – he was always the expert – but now it seemed to affect him. Maybe he thought that I would finally pull away from him, maybe through death. But I had an opening.
""More than a serpent, more than an asp." Yes, he was most definitely more poisonous and slippery than a serpent or asp.
"Cruel and deaf to my sighs." But perhaps he was at last listening.
"You can again heal me," I said hopefully, and for a moment his face softened, but after an instantaneous internal struggle, visible on his face, it again turned smooth and icy.
"Yet you enjoy my languishing," I sighed. I closed my eyes, half-full of tears, and turned to face the wall. After a silence that seemed to stretch on for eternity, he took a step towards me. And another. His footfalls, soft though I knew they were, seemed to ring out like Hell's Bells as he approached me. It felt like another eternity for him to cross the narrow corridor. I felt him breathing and smelled his scent that I had for so long tried to emulate. I felt his hands on my shoulders and bowed my head. Any emotion he showed me now would be counterfeit, I knew. He had had enough opportunities to show me emotion over the years.
"Eoin," he breathed, and I breathed with him. I shuddered and shook my head.
"Eoin," he said again, urgently. I stiffened. A window appeared in the stone wall before me. Looking out, I could see a blue sky dotted with small white clouds. The sun shone brilliantly on the forests below and sparkled off the river.
"Eoin, listen to me."
"I've listened to you for thirty years."
"Please."
"No. Stop… tormenting me… and let… me… die." I stepped away from him and out the window. As I fell, I felt his… his pain. I had never felt emotion from him before. It was a little late now. And I laughed as I fell into the sun.