New York
Look at me now
Just sittin here by myself
The latest sleaze had just left, he felt even worse than he did before he fucked her. His loved had turned to anger always did around this time of the week, by the end he always thought how the hell he could he think that of her? And went back to love her, buy why? It wasn't as if she was here, no she left him, and took his child with him, never to be heard from again.
And I think you found someone else
Now I'm going to have to find
A way to put the bottle down
He wasn't this kind of man who resorted to booze when he couldn't solve something he wasn't like his father. But he was no better; he should be doing more in finding them both. What's the use when he does find them, its not like Ashley would welcome him with open arms now would she? No she would refuse to talk to him, while they wouldn't really talk, they would scream and yell, until both were blue in the face and then they would be no further to the end from when they started. It was no use, he was damn if he did, damned if he didn't.
And why cant you see
That I'm drowning in a pool of misery
What kind of person was she? Leaving at the hint of trouble, she hadn't said a word after the kiss had happened she acted a little annoyed but that was it, hadn't even hinted that something was wrong.
I'm always afraid
That your gone
Away from me
He'd never been afraid of much, why be scared of anything that more than likely wouldn't happen? He knew how to swim, he always shut off any appliance so it wouldn't catch fire, and bugs didn't bother him. Why would they, they weren't even one one hundredth his size. It wasn't like anything around here was poisonous.
I'm always afraid
That your lost in somebody
I'm always afraid
That you're gone
But since he met her, she brought out new fears, fears that he didn't know he was capable of having. Like her getting hurt, or even worse dying. He actually cared for someone else more than himself. He was also afraid that he had lost her for good.
Away from me
I'm always afraid
That you're lost
If he fucked others then she surely would have too, maybe a few years ago, he heard that pregnant women get pretty horny. If he had been there, he would have made sure she had her fill and then some but he wasn't. So why wallow in self pity? Cant change the past. But he sure as hell could change the future.
So here I am
I don't wanna be by myself
And I think you're fucking someone else
The booze he gulped down a few hours ago were wearing off, he was becoming sober again which was not a good thing. He went to the fridge and grabbed another thinking back to one night in particular. Chocolate Whipped Cream summed it up pretty good.
Now I' m gonna have to find a way
To take the knife out of my back
And how could you leave me
Stranded in a closet full of bones
The thought of Ashley with another man, made his blood run cold, and to see red. She was his, and so god help them who ever else had touched her. It wouldn't be long before she would be begging him to take her. He was sure of it.
He didn't like the person he had become, and he had Ashley to thank for that. Did she know how much he was hurting because she just up and left without a backward glance, be damned of who she hurt in the process, as long as she got what she wanted, be damned of the consequences.
It hurts to breathe
Well every time that your not next to me
Her minds made up
The girl is gone
And she was never coming back.
Las Vegas
Ashley poured coffee into a mug and headed out to the patio, she was at the back of the apartment complex so she had a little privacy. She never really was a morning person but she somehow liked the quiet time before Lily woke up and the rest of Vegas, well Vegas never slept but it was just before everyone and thing woke up and began their day. She was talking about sunrise. The temperature wasn't too cold and wasn't to hot. And yet she hated this time to because this is where she always thought of Bosco and the life they could have had together. And everyday she always tried to push back the thoughts but somehow they always crept in and threatened to strangle her.
Whenever she pushed away the thoughts of Bosco, thoughts erotic thoughts of Nick flashed through her mind, and she pushed those away too, and thought about Lily, who should any moment would be waking up.
Her third cup of coffee made her stomach hurt telling her she needed food and to lay off the coffee. Breakfast would be soon enough. In the mean time she had to get Lily up, bathed, and dressed. Her earache seemed to go away, she had to thank Catherine for the tip, it had worked wonders and even got some antibiotics into Lily the doctor had prescribed.
Faint noises could be heard over the baby monitor Lily was awakening. She drained the last of her mug and got up ready to start the day.
She could have killed Greg, once again he'd invited Nick along to the breakfast no clue why, probably Nick's doing. She didn't know what he saw in her, and yet he had never given up trying to court her and she'd always turn him down.
Luckily a park was right near the apartment building which gave they spent all afternoon there. This is usually where she met Lisa, another single mother from the building two floors up. She had a boy, named Mark, he had just turned four a few months ago and always played with Lily, even at the young age he was, he looked after Lily, helping her up the ladders, and making sure she didn't stumble. It was actually kinda cute how protective he was of her.
She sat in the break room with Greg, having just brought him his wee hour snack he called it, Lisa had agreed to watch Lily while she made the trip and even offered to let her spend the night, no point in disturbing Lily's sleep. So Ashley agreed to watch Mark this afternoon while Lisa went to the doctor's and did few other errands.
It was amazing how much food Greg could eat in his wee hour snack. At the moment he was shoving in the potato salad she'd bought. In between bites he managed to speak
"You figure out what you want to do?" and went right back to shoving the food in his mouth. Nick had walked in to grab a cup of coffee before eh went back to work on the double murder case he was trying to solve.
"No I got lots of time" she looks at Nick's back and what a magnificent back that was "and money to decide so it's not like I need something right away"
"Must be nice" Nick mumbled to himself before taking a sip of coffee
"Excuse me?" Ashley asked, Greg trying his best to swallow the pile of food he had just shoveled in, he needed to break this up before it got any worse.
"I said it must be nice having money" he turned around, leaning against the counter taking another sip.
Greg finally swallowing the food that wouldn't go down fast enough
"Isn't your father a judge?" he stated more than asked, he knew that for a fact and was trying to point out that Nick had come from money too.
"We didn't have the money, not like the Ryan's did" he smirked into his coffee cup thinking he had won so far. Sara, Catherine and Warrick chose this time to walk in all in need of a little pick me up. In the form of coffee. They instantly felt the tension that was building between the two.
"Always warming up to daddy for money" that was the complete opposite of what she had done, when her father tried to warm her up, she shot and killed him. He wasn't going to touch her like he did Rachael. She stood up, she was not going to take this.
"You have no idea what my childhood was like" she said bitterly. She stood in front of him showing him, she wasn't the one to back down from anything.
"Oh I have a pretty good idea" he sits his mug down on the counter behind him. Sara, Catherine and Warrick look to Greg who was the closet to stop the fight before it got out of hand.
He got the hint and stood up. Standing on the side of them so they formed a triangle, Ashley tended to get a little violent when she was mad, just ask her ex husband, oh wait he was dead, never mind.
"Nick stop" Greg said in an I-mean-business tone.
"You don't know how I grew up so don't pretend you do" Ashley stepped closer
"Oh I know exactly how it was, the truth hurts doesn't it?" Nick said flatly. Greg saw the precise moment when she snapped and the loud smack of her hand against his cheek was the only noise made in the room for seconds. Ashley waked out, knowing if she didn't she would more than likely kill him. Nick thinking that they were on his side smiled
"What's her problem? All I said was the truth" the smile faded as Catherine and Warrick walked away, then Sara, it was Greg who stayed behind. Telling him he messed up big.
"That was low even for you"
Greg walked away in disgust.
Nick pondered the thought for a moment before going after Greg; he wanted to know the truth. He caught up with the younger man just before he walked into the DNA room.
"Greg hold on man" Greg stopped the look of disgust still evident on his face.
"How far out of line was I?" if Greg who never got mad at anyone, and was pissed off at him now, then he crossed the line, so far that the line was no longer in sight.
"A lot" that was all he said as he walked into the DNA room to talk with Mia.
She was not going to cry, he was just trying to rile her up, get her mad at him that's all. While he'd succeeded she was beyond mad, beyond pissed, almost passed furious too.
Her eyes welled up with tears, she wanted to murder someone and that person would be Nick. He had no right telling her that he knew what her childhood had been like. Asshole! She stomped her foot, dumb ass!
"You okay girl?" she glanced beside her, Warrick had come out and stood beside her
"Never better" she wanted to strangle him with her bare hands
"He can be an ass sometimes" Warrick told her
"I see that" if Nick thought he knew her childhood she was in for a rude awakening. She left Warrick standing there as she marched back into the crime lab.
Warrick knew whenever he saw, a women like that, it wasn't good. He quickly followed her.
Nick was coming out of the locker room when she came up to him and pushed him back into the locker room. She didn't want to yell this out, she didn't need the whole damn lab hearing what she was about to say, hell the rumour was still going around that Greg was the father of Lily.
"You think YOU know about MY childhood? Let me give you the condensed version. MY FATHER ABUSED ME, MOLESTED MY SISTER, AND THE DAY HE TRIED TO MOLEST ME I SHOT, AND KILLED HIM. MY MOTHER HAD ME COMMITTED BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ME. BY THE TIME I WAS FOURTEEN I HAD BROKEN MY LEGS THREE TIMES, MY ARMS TWICE AND HAD A DOZEN CONCUSSIONS ALL BECAUSE OF MY FATHER. THE ONLY REASON I STARTED TALKING TO MY MOTHER AGAIN FOUR YEARS AGO WAS BECAUSE MY SISTER WAS KILLED BY HER HUSBAND WHO I TO SHOOT TOO, TO SAVE BOTH MY NEICE AND NEPHEW FROM HIM. SO DO NOT GO AROUND FLAUNTING THAT I HAD IT EASY BEAUSE I CAME FROM MONEY. AND I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY"
That said she left him standing there in shock. He'd never felt guiltier in his entire life than this moment.