I
awoke the next morning at 6:30. I woke up from having the dream that
reminded me of the night I had something stolen from me. The night
that I never wanted to go back to. And every time I dreamt about it,
I went back there. I felt a tear come down my cheek. We still had two
days until classes began. Why was I awake? I could be sleeping right
now. But no, my stupid head won't let me sleep. I sat up and looked
over at all the other girls. They were still sleeping. I quietly
crept over to the door and opened it. I walked down the stairs to the
common room. I walked over to the couch. I went to sit down, I found
a sleeping Draco there instead. He looked so sweet. I bent down and
sat on the floor facing Draco. I rubbed his arm trying to wake him
up, so he could go to his room.
"Dracoooo"
I said softly. He started to open his eyes a little bit. He smiled at
me.
"Why are you in my room, Patricks?" he said in a
husky voice.
"I'm not dumb ass. You fell asleep in the common
room." I said
"Oh shit." He said sitting up
immediately.
"What time is it?" he said
"Its
okay, it only like 6:30. And it's Saturday. No worries." I said
smiling.
"Oh thank god. Come and sit up here. You look
awfully uncomfortable." He said. I got up and sat beside him. I
for some reason couldn't keep my eyes off of him. It was like I was
in a trance. But I knew exactly what was going on around me, and what
I was doing. He began to look at me too. But his look was in
confusion to why I was looking at him.
"Have you been
crying?" he asked.
"No." I said quickly. We just
sat there looking at each other for a while.
"Draco..."
I started.
"Yeah?" he responded.
"I... I...
never mind." I said. What I was thinking wasn't right. I just
wish I could shut off all emotions and stop thinking all
together.
"Frankie, just tell me." He said.
"I
can't do it." I said as if I were talking to myself.
"You
can't do what?" he asked in total confusion.
"I can't be
here right now. I have to get away from you before I do something
that I will regret." I said getting up.
"Frankie what
are you talking about?" he called to me as I walked out of the
common room still in my pajamas.
I
knew that if I had stayed there I would have wanted to kiss him. And
then that want would become a need. And then that need would become
something I couldn't live without. And it would have happened. Then I
would regret it. And that kiss would be telling him that I wanted to
be with him which I don't right now. I still have that night stuck in
my head, a night that won't ever go away. I just wish I could
forget.
I
walked to the Great Hall and sat down on the bench. Just looking at
the table, when I heard footsteps behind me.
"May I join you
Miss. Patricks?" said a voice. I turned around to see
Dumbledore.
I nodded and he sat down.
"Why are you awake
so early? I thought you would have slept in." he said in his
raspy voice.
"I couldn't sleep. I just had things on my
mind." I responded still looking at the table.
"Ahh I
know how you feel. I hardly sleep myself. But once and a while, I
just take those thoughts that are keeping me awake, and I put them
away until the next day." He said. I smiled.
"But I'm
guessing this is something that can't be put away?" he
asked.
"No, it can. I'm just afraid that putting it away,
will only make remembering it, worse." I said
"The past
is something that will haunt a person for their entire life.
Sometimes you just need to talk to someone about it to make it easier
to deal with." He said.
"But what if talking about it
will only cause problems?" I asked.
"Well I think you
will just have to play it out in your mind and see if the outcome is
the way you hoped it would be. And it almost always is. Well I've got
to get back to my work. Thank you for the chat Miss. Patricks."
He said standing up.
"Have a good day sir." I said
getting up as well. I walked back to the common room. Hoping I
wouldn't see Draco. But I clearly wasn't having much luck lately. I
saw him sitting on the couch.
"Frankie, I-" I cut him
off.
"Draco please! Not now." I said trying to walk by.
But instead he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. He wrapped
his arms around my waist so I couldn't run away.
"Frankie,
just talk to me. Please! I want to know why you were crying." He
said.
"Draco I can't tell you. Please, just let me go."
As soon as I said that the tears came rushing out of my eyes.
He pulled me in for a hug. This time I didn't even try to get away. I
wrapped my arms around his waist and cried on his shoulder. Whenever
I thought I had cried all the tears I could, even more came out that
the time before. He stood there holding me while I was crying for
about ten minutes. When I finally pulled away, my face was red and so
were my eyes. I looked up at Draco and I saw sadness in his eyes. It
was as if he could feel my pain. Then I did it. I pulled him in and
kissed him. He was shocked at first, but quickly responded. He kissed
me with hunger, and lust. Deepening the kiss. I grazed my tongue
along his lip to be let in. He opened his mouth and let my tongue in.
I started to pull of his shirt and I felt him smirk. I lifted it over
his head and I took off mine as well. I started to undo his pants
when he pulled away.
"What? I thought you wanted this?"
I said with anger.
"I
do. But I know you don't." he said.
"Well I'm clearly
saying I do Draco." I said still angry
"Look... I just
don't want this to happen right now alright?" he said.
I
felt hurt. I was rejected. I was rejected by Draco Malfoy. I was
rejected by a guy who slept with Pansy. How low can I get?
I
pushed Draco away and went back to my room. I lied back on my bed and
fell asleep, as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Draco's POV
I
was holding her while she cried. What happened to her? Why can't she
tell me? I just want to make her pain go away. Why is that? I mean
girls have cried to me before... I never gave a damn. Why do I care
now? I just kept holding her. I didn't want to ever let go. I want
her to be mine. She pulled away a bit. Frankie looked up at me. She
looked in my eyes. Then she... she kissed me. At first I didn't know
what to do. But then I kissed back. She licked my lips asking for
entry. I gladly opened my mouth. She started taking off my shirt. I
think this is the earliest I've ever shagged before. But as she was
pulling off her shirt, I felt something in the pit of my stomach. A
feeling I had never felt before. I felt guilt.
She started to unbutton my pants. Go away feeling! Go away! But I
pulled away.
"What?
I thought you wanted this?" she said with anger.
"I do.
But I know you don't." I said. I
know that when she realizes what she's doing, she will regret this.
And then she will hate me for taking advantage of her. Stupid
guilt.
"Well
I'm clearly saying I do Draco." she said still angry. Frankie
just doesn't understand. I'm doing something nice.
Don't ruin it!
"Look...
I just don't want this to happen right now alright?" That
defiantly came out wrong. She just looked at me with anger. I had
never seen her so angry. She pushed me away and walked back to her
room. I could tell she felt rejected. But she didn't understand how
much I wanted this. How long I've wanted this and how hard it was for
me to pull away. I looked on the ground to pick up my shirt and there
it was. Frankie's shirt. She had forgotten it. Won't she feel stupid
when she realizes she has no top on? I suddenly felt extremely tired.
Probably because I had been up most of the night thinking about
Frankie, and then waking up at 6:30 am.
I walked up the stairs to my room and climbed into bed. I fell asleep almost immediately.
Frankie's POV
I
woke up at 11:30. I sat up and all the girls were no longer in there
beds. I went to get out of bed when I noticed something. I wasn't
wearing a shirt. Shit. I left it downstairs. I got out of bed. I
grabbed a pair of jeans and a black tank top. I quickly put them on
and walked down stairs to the common room. I saw Blaise talking to
Carrie. I looked over at the spot where I had left my shirt. It
wasn't there. Where
was it? I immediately knew where. Draco had it.
I walked over to Blaise.
"Hey, Blaise. Do you know where
Draco is?" I asked figuring he was playing quidditch or
something.
"He's still in bed. I tried to wake him up but he
yelled at me and told me to get out. He's in a bad mood for some
reason. But you could try to get him out of it!" Blaise
said.
"Alright. Thanks Blaise." I said while walking up
to Draco's room.
I knocked but I heard no answer. I opened the
door and looked for Draco's bed. There he was. Fast asleep. I walked
over to him and shook him awake.
"Blaise, I told you to go
away!" he yelled.
"Last time I checked, my name was
Frankie." I said.
"Frankie? What are you doing in here?"
he said turning over to look at me.
"I want my shirt." I
said.
"You can have it under one circumstance..." he
said
"Oh and what's that?" I asked not being in the mood
for games.
He pulled me down so I was sitting on his bed.
"Kiss
me." He said.
"Are you serious? After you turn me down?
I don't think so." I yelled while trying to stand up.
"Frankie,
I only stopped because I knew that when it was over, you would regret
it." He said. He was right. I would have.
"Draco,
please just give me my shirt!" I said.
"Fine." He
said handing it to me.
"You slept with it?" I asked
"It
smelt good." He said, looking down.
"You are so strange.
Now get up! I want to go eat!" I said pulling him up. He wasn't
wearing a shirt either. He stood up and I saw his muscular
chest.
"And why do I have to come get food with you?" he
asked
"Because you love me." I said smiling.
He
smirked and grabbed a t-shirt and some jeans. He dropped his pants
right there. I smirked this time.
"Draco, you had your chance
last night." I said jokingly. He shook his head and put
on his jeans, and then pulled on his t-shirt. He grabbed my hand and we walked downstairs.
Blaise smiled at me.
"I knew you
could do it!" he said laughing.
"Do what?" Draco
asked
"Oh nothing. Come on I'm starving!" I said pulling
toward the door.
As we walked into the Great Hall I got glairs
from a bunch of girls again.
"You do know how many girls
think that I'm your girlfriend?" I said to him.
"Nearly
all of them?" he said laughing
"Its not funny Draco! I'm
never going to get any friend this way!" I said
He just
laughed as we sat down and grabbed some food.
Dumbledore
looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back. He motioned for me to
come over to the big table with the entire teachers. I nodded and
turned back to Draco.
"I'll be right back okay?" I
said
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Dumbledore
wants to tell me something." I said getting up and walking over
to the teachers.
"Miss. Patricks, you and Mr. Malfoy
weren't here this morning to receive your schedules. So I took the
courtesy of grabbing them for you." He said handing me
them.
"Thank you, professor." I said. I was about to
walk away when he started to talk again.
"I see you and Mr.
Malfoy have become close." He said.
"Yes. We met over
the summer and became friends." I said.
"Well I'm glad.
I'll see you later Miss. Patricks." He said and smiled. I nodded
then turned around to walk back to the table.
Why did he think it was good we were friends? I thought he was the 'bad boy' here? I sat back down and handed Draco his schedule.
"What's
this?" he said
"Look at it dumb ass" I said.
"You
know you've got to stop calling me that." He said trying to be
stern. I laughed.
"Want to show me around this place?" I
asked changing the subject.
He nodded and got up. He took my hand
again, knowing it would bother the other girls. We walked out and
went down the hall. We were talking about something, while not paying
attention to where we were going and of course, we bumped into
someone.
"Watch
it!" Draco said. I looked up and saw who it was.
"Hey
Ron!" I said smiling.
"Hey Frankie." He said.
"What
do you want weasel?" Draco said.
"Don't be so rude, you
ass!" I said to Draco.
Ron smiled at me.
"Can we talk
later? At 2 o'clock maybe?" Ron asked me
"She doesn't
want to talk to you." Draco sneered at Ron.
"Ignore him.
I wanted to talk to you too." I said to Ron.
"I'll meet
you in the Great Hall. See you then!" he said walking off.
"Is
it always necessary to do that?" I asked him.
"Do what?"
he asked
"Act like a jerk towards my friends." I
said.
"Oh, then yes." He said.
"You're such an
ass." I said as we continued to walk down the hall.
We had
been talking and laughing not even noticing the time flew by. I
glanced at my watch and it said 1:55. Isn't
that lucky eh?
"Well
I'm off to meet Ron." I said
"Frankie..." he
started
"Yeah?" I asked.
"If he asks you out
again... Don't say yes." He said.
"Even though I
wouldn't, why don't you want me to?" I asked smirking
"I
just... I... no reason." He said walking away in the opposite
direction.
He
never tells me what he thinks.
I
walked into the Great Hall and saw Ron sitting with Harry. I walked
over to them and smiled.
"Well I'm here!" I said
enthusiastically.
"Well then I guess I have to leave. See
you later" Harry said while getting up and walking away. I sat
down across from Ron.
"So what's going on?" I
asked.
"Uhh... I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry for
everything that happened between us." He said.
"It's
fine." I said smiling.
"I also have something to tell
you. And I really hope you don't get mad. But I thought you ought to
know." He said.
"Okay...?" I said.
"Hermione
and I are... we're dating." He said. That
made me smile. I didn't think
it
would. At first I actually thought it would hurt. But I didn't. I was
happy for him.
"I'm
glad for you both! You two seem like a great couple!" I said
still with a smile on my face.
"Really? You're not mad or
anything? Wow. That makes me feel a whole lot better" he said,
now smiling.
We talked some more. Eventually we said our
goodbyes, and I went back to the Slytherin common room. I looked
around and there was no one there. So I walked up to my room, and
there was no one in there either.
So I put on my music and
started to unpack. I started to sing again. I started to sing to
'These Words' By Natasha Bedingfield. I loved muggle music. I didn't
know why so many people had a problem with it.
Read
some Byron, Shelly and Keats
Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat
I'm
having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum
machines
I know I had some studio time booked
But I couldn't
find a killer hook
Now you've gone & raised the bar right
up
Nothing I write is ever good enough
I continued to sing even after I was done packing. I walked into the bathroom to put my toothbrush and crap in there and still singing at the top of my lungs. Singing was like breathing to me. I couldn't not sing. That's the one thing I knew I could never live without. The song changed to 'Since you've been gone' by Kelly Clarkson. I looked at the doorway to my room and noticed that I had left the door open. If anyone had come in the common room, they could have heard me easily. I felt stupid.
I
shut off my music and walked out of the room, grabbing a book before
I left. Then I went down the stairs. Luckily there was no one in
there. I walked over to the couch and sat down. I opened up the book
and as soon as I started to read the first word the door slammed
open. Draco came barging in and looked like he wanted to kill
someone.
"What happened?" I asked.
"I don't want
to talk about it!" he yelled.
"Okay, sorry for giving a
damn!" I said going back to my book. Draco just stormed up the
stairs and into his room. I ignored it and went back to my book
again. I heard things smashing and being thrown at the door.
IF
YOU REALLY want to hear about it, you'll probably want to know where
I was born
that
was the sentence I read over and over again, trying to get past it.
But all I could concentrate on was Draco. Damn him. He always managed
to get himself stuck in my mind. I put down my book and decided I
might as well go see him now before he hurts himself. I walked up the
stairs and walked over to his room.
I
knocked on the door and heard no response. What's
with people and never answering when someone knocks!
I opened the door anyway. I looked around and saw no Draco. Well
that's weird.
I saw a bunch of glass on the floor. Must have been the smashing I
heard. But then I heard water running. I saw his bathroom door was
open a bit. So I peeked in and saw that he was in the shower. And no,
I didn't see anything. The fog was covering everything up. I went to
turn around to leave when I heard the water turn off. Should
I stay and talk? Or come back later? I chose to knock on the bathroom
door.
knock, knock, knock
"What is it?" he yelled in
a mean tone.
"Draco, you okay?" I asked. Please
don't yell.
"Frankie?
Yeah I'm fine." He said opening the door, he stood there in a
towel. Just a towel around his waist. He was all wet and... No!
Stop these thoughts Frankie!
"You
might want to pick your jaw off of the floor." He said smirking.
"I... I " No,
Frankie! Stuttering is bad! Stop it!
"I knew you thought I was hot. No girl can resist me!"
he said smirking.
"I don't think you're hot! It's just, I
don't see guys dripping wet in a towel all of the time." I said.
Oh
yeah. I was smooth.
"Mmhh."
He said still smirking.
"So what was the hissy fit about
earlier?" I asked changing the subject.
"It wasn't a
hissy fit, you git!" he snapped back.
"What the hell is
a git?" I asked smirking.
"Oh shut up!" he said
back trying not to laugh.
"I have to get changed. Go
downstairs and wait for me down there. I need to talk to you about
something."
I walked back down to the common room. I sat
down on the couch and started to read my book again. I finally got
past that stupid sentence! I read about 5 pages when Draco finally
came down the stairs. He sat on the couch and pulled the book out of
my hands.
"Hey! Give it back!" I said trying to reach
it. He threw it back at me.
"So what is so important that I
have to get changed to hear?" I said mimicking what I had said
last night when he asked to talk to me.
"I want to ask you
something." he said.
"And what would that be?" I
asked
"I want the truth." He said. I was so lost.
"About
what?" I asked.
"I want to know what you want from me."
He said.
"I don't want anything from you. I'm confused."
I said.
"What I mean is, how do you feel about me? Do you
want me just as a friend?" he asked the last part a bit
annoyed.
"Draco, do we have to get into this?" I asked
annoyed right back.
"Yes we do." He said. I
looked at him. He could tell that I didn't want to say. But I did
anyways. Because I'm an idiot.
"Draco
I like you. A lot. But like I told you last time, I don't want my
heart broken again. And I really don't want a relationship right now.
So for now, I think being friends is best." I said. I saw his
face become saddened. But he covered it up with a smirk.
"Fine
with me. I was just going to tell you that I thought of us as just
friends as well." He said, and got up and left.
Wow.
That just like killed me. He only wants me as a friend? Yeah I know I
told him the same thing... but I kind of hoped he would tell me he
wanted something more. But what could I expect? Him to wait around
for me?
I looked at my watch and it said 6:00. It was dinner right now. I wasn't hungry. I walked back up stairs and collapsed on my bed. I just wanted to sleep. Forever. But I knew I couldn't. So until tomorrow morning is good enough for me. I closed my eyes and instantly feel asleep.
Draco's POV
"Draco, do we have to get into this?" she asked
annoyed.
"Yes we do." I said. I
looked at her. I could tell that I didn't want to say. Maybe she was
finally going to tell me she felt the same way I feel about
her.
"Draco
I like you. A lot. But like I told you last time, I don't want my
heart broken again. And I really don't want a relationship right now.
So for now, I think being friends is best." She said. My
heart dropped. Friends? She just wanted to be friends? This was
pathetic. I was just rejected by the girl I loved. But I couldn't
tell her that I loved her now.
"Fine
with me. I was just going to tell you that I thought of us as just
friends as well." I said. I got up and walked out of the common
room.
I walked to the Great Hall because I was starving. I sat down with Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle. I started to grab some food when I felt someone put their hands on my leg.
"Hi Drakie! I
was thinking we could go back to my room after dinner..." she
said smiling. I pushed her hand off of me.
"I'd rather not."
She
was like an animal. She couldn't stay off of me. Not that I can blame
her. I mean look at me. But I wasn't in the mood.
"Drakkkiiiieee
come on!" she said tugging at my arm.
"For God sakes
Pansy get off of me. I told you no!" I yelled and got up and
walked away. I heard her call my name again. I wanted to shoot her.
I heard footsteps coming up behind me.
"Draco?"
the voice said
"Blaise leave me alone." I said.
"Draco
what are you so angry about?" he asked.
"Leave me
ALONE!" I yelled. But still he kept talking.
"Frankie
problems?" he asked. Geeze.
He just didn't stop. What was wrong with him? Does he not understand
English?
"Blaise
I swear to god, if you don't leave me alone you will regret it."
I screamed at him. I was really not in the mood for talking.
I
heard him sigh and then turn around back to the Great Hall.
Frankie
was screwing up my life. All I could ever think about was her. I
hated it. I couldn't even shag a girl without wishing it were her. I
can't believe she said I would break her heart.
Well
you did it before.
Dear
god. You're back again?
I
don't go away. I'm permanently stuck in here. I'm called your
conscience.
Well
where were you when I actually needed you? When Kate came. Where were
you then?
I
was trying to let you figure things out on your own
you're
useless.
Apparently
not. You would have had sex with Frankie if it weren't for me.
Thanks
for nothing.
Oh god. I'm doing it again. Talking to myself. I
really hope nobody is watching me right now. I probably look insane.
