I hated lying to my sons; they were the only things I had left in this world, and to knowingly tell them something untrue ate me up inside. I looked down into Sam's eyes and lied to him. I had just asked Jim to take the boys away, and then I told Sam I would never leave him. Now I know how guys that cheat on their wives feel…almost.
Sam's arms wrapped around my body as though he knew I was about to leave. I looked at Dean; he moved closer. At first I thought he was about to give me a hug, but he grabbed a hold of Sam's hands and unclenched them from my shirt. I noticed the few wet spots on it as Sam was pulled back away from me. I looked at Dean, almost frustrated that he pulled Sam away, but I could see the truth in his eyes. His head turned to Sam, "Are you hungry?"
Sam's hand wiped tears away from his cheeks, looking up at his brother. He opened his mouth, but paused as his stomach answered the question for him. His lips turned into a smile as he nodded. Dean looked at Jim and asked if he could take Sam to get something to eat.
"Aren't you hungry too Dean?" Sam asked after he landed on the floor. His small hands reached for the top of the bed, about to climb back up if his brother wasn't going to follow.
Dean nodded slowly, sliding off the bed with much ease. He bent down so that his mouth was near Sam's left ear. It was obvious Dean was telling Sam to do something; the only question was what. Sam looked up into Dean's eyes, nodded, and grabbed hold of Jim's hand. He smiled up, his head tilted as far as it could go to look at Jim. He started to walk out of the room, pulling Jim along with him. Jim glared at me, still absorbing everything I've said. I wasn't kidding when I told him that he had to take the kids away, and he knew I was right. He just didn't want to face the truth, but he would in due time.
Once Jim and Sam exited the room, Dean turned to me, jumping back onto the bed. He looked pretty mad, but I couldn't really tell how angry he was until he spoke. "You asked Pastor Jim to take us away and you tell Sammy that you're not gonna leave us! It's one thing to try to get rid of us, but to lie to us! Dad I'm not leaving no matter what you say!" he crossed his arms across his chest, furthering his point.
A confused look crossed my face as I wondered how Dean knew what I had said. "Dad, I'm not an idiot! I heard you talking to Pastor Jim while you thought we were asleep!"
I looked over at Dr. Krohn who started to move towards Dean, kneeling down next to the bed so that she was looking up at him. I guess she was trying to make him feel superior or something. "Dean, your father—"
Dean lashed out, throwing his arms out, "GO AWAY! WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?" He let out a breath, "Just go away. You don't care about us." He turned away from her, eyes closed as he seemed to figure out his next move. I realized how rudely Dean had been to the doctor and knew that I should scold him.
"Dean, don't talk to her like that! She's only trying—"
Apparently Dean had made a habit of interrupting people, "You don't know anything either Dad! You've been stuck up here all day…night…whatever. You don't know how they tried to take Sam away from me! If it wasn't for Pastor Jim we probably would have been shipped off to God knows where!"
Dean's feet hit the floor and moved him towards the door before everything he said could reach my ears. I looked in amazement at my son, watching him leave me. Was that what he was trying to do? Leave me before I left him? Dr. Krohn ran out of the room after Dean, but stopped short of the hallway. She nodded and returned to the room.
She stared at me as the awkward silence settled between us; I was thinking about what my son had said to me. He had never yelled at me before, it felt really weird to be at the receiving end of it. Also I knew I deserved it, nor was I mad. I was upset that I hurt my son. I couldn't think of any other way out of this mess, but either way, I felt horrible.
I spun my wedding band around my finger as I waited to see what was to come.
Sam was halfway through his bagel when he realized that Dean hadn't touched his Taylor ham, egg, and cheese sandwich. He placed his bagel down on the plate and stared at Dean a moment. He followed Dean's gaze out the window; there wasn't anything there that he could notice.
His eyes turned their attention back to his older brother; his eyes followed the tired wrinkles around Dean's eyes, the frown that was plastered on his face, his nose exhaling air at a quickened pace. Sam wondered what made Dean so annoyed, so angry. He paused a moment, waiting to see if Dean would meet his gaze. Dean's eyes stayed locked on the window. "What's wrong?"
Jim hadn't really been paying attention; he mostly tried to figure out how to help out the Winchesters. He didn't want to take them away from their father, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Why are the right and hard things the same?
Dean's eyes, frozen, blinked at Sam, "Sam…" he paused, letting out a breath, "We're leaving."
"What?" Sam asked, a little panicked. He didn't want to leave his father, especially since he just promised him that he wouldn't leave. Sam wasn't going to leave his father either. "Dean, we can't leave without Dad."
"Sam we have to," Dean stood up and grabbed his sandwich. He walked over to the garbage can and threw it out only a few feet away from the table; he was hungry, but he couldn't eat after what he was about to tell Sam. "We're gonna stay at Pastor Jim's for awhile."
Sam's head snapped towards Jim; his eyes begging Jim tell him Dean was lying. Jim's eyes closed as Sam started to shake his head. "No," he breathed, "No." He stood up, dropping his half-eaten bagel on the floor.
"Sammy," Dean tried to sooth Sam in vain. Sam had already ran past him and out of the cafeteria. Jim was standing as he watched Sam's body disappear out the door, followed shortly by Dean's. Damn I'm too old for this and these kids have always been too fast for me!
He could hear Dean screaming for Sam to stop as he followed them down the hallway. He couldn't see the boys anymore, but he sure as hell could hear Dean. He cut down a second hallway as he realized where he was headed: the elevators.
The elevator was already moving when it came into view; he stopped in front of it and watched the consecutive numbers started to light up. Jim could see that the stairway door was still open. Dean.
The numbers finally stopped at 5, John's floor. He hit the stairs with a quick sprint, taking two steps at a time. Jim saw the door with the giant 5 on it quickly, but not fast enough since when he opened it, the elevator doors were slowly closing. The two Winchesters were no where in sight, and he could not hear Dean's voice anymore. He scrambled towards the right hallway, towards John's room.
"Sam! Get back here right now!" Dean yelled as he followed his little brother down the hallway. Dean was tired, but he was about to close in on his brother. Sam ran the opposite way of John's room, leading him into a dead end. Dean smiled at how hunter-esque he felt; he had played cops and robbers with Sam a hundred and one times, but this was different. He could tell that Sam would actually try to fight back this time.
"Go away Dean!" Sam yelled as he backed his way into the corner. His back hit the wall suddenly, making Dean smile. He leapt forward, grabbing Sam by the hands and pinning him to the wall gently.
"Don't you ever run away again! You hear me?" Dean gritted out; the anger had left his voice, but Sam could tell he was annoyed. Sam didn't care; he wanted to see his father. He wouldn't let anyone, even Dean, get in his way at that point. Dean's eyes softened as he realized what his little brother's intentions were. If their roles were reversed, wouldn't he run to find their father?
"I'm sorry Sammy," Dean said, letting go of Sam. "We can't stay here. We just need to stay with Jim for awhile. Wouldn't you rather sleep at Jim's instead of here? He could make us pancakes and we could watch as much late night TV as we wanted." Dean sighed as he realized how useless this all was. He couldn't even sell Jim's apartment in the church's basement to himself; how could he convince Sam to go?
"I want to stay with Dad!" Sam whined as tears streaked down his face. His arms found their way around Dean, gripping tightly as he found comfort in the smell of his brother.
"Okay Sammy. Okay," Dean breathed. He ran his fingers through Sam's mop of a head. He moved Sam so that they were looked at each other. "Let's go see Dad."
"Okay."
Jim burst into the room like a crazy man. "Damnit," he whispered as he quickly scanned the room. I could tell that he was searching for something, clearly, but for what? And where were the boys?
"Jim, what's going on? Where's Sam and Dean?"
I could see that Jim was getting nervous, not wanting to tell me something. My mind started to race; what had happened? Did one of them run off? Did both of them run off? I needed to know where they were and quickly. "Jim, talk to me here."
He let out a sigh and looked me directly in the face, "They're gone."
"Gone?" I questioned, my words laced with anger. I should have known that they would fight this. I should have known that Dean or Sam wouldn't go willingly. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever given a brain that functioned correctly.
"Yes, gone. Sam ran off after Dean told him they were gonna stay with me for awhile. Dean chased after him, and I followed the elevator to this level," he let out a sigh, "Damnit, I'll go check the rest of the floor!" He spun on his heels and exited the door quickly. I stood up, readying to run out of the room after my children, when Dr. Krohn stood in front of me.
"You can't leave!"
"You can't expect me to just let my children roam free around the hospital! Dean was already attacked! What do you expect me to do?! Just sit here and wait!?" I pushed past her quickly and went out the door.
A chill ran down Dean's spine as he and Sam walked down the hallway. Dean had a firm grip on his little brother's hand, making sure he couldn't run off. His eyes scanned the hallway for anything familiar, finding nothing. A cold hand touched his shoulder, causing him to turn around quickly, pushing Sam behind him as he smiled up at the owner of the hand.
He noticed something odd about the staff member: her smile was twisted, plastered onto her face as though she didn't want to be there. Her dark skin matched her dark brown eyes and hair while her lengthy fingers dug into his shoulder. His eyes moved from her face to her hand, wondering if she had punctured his skin yet.
Sam peered up at her, watching as she bent forward, becoming eye level with them. "What are you two doing here?" she asked very politely. Her smile changed to become more gentle, as her eyes glistened, but the first impression still never left Dean.
The two Winchesters' eyes looked at each other for a moment; Dean turned his attention towards the woman. "Looking for our dad," he put on his 'I'm sweet and adorable' face as he spoke. A smile cracked through his lips as he waited for the woman to try to help them.
"So am I," she said politely as her fingers dug a little deeper into his shoulder. She spun him around on his heels and made him march down the hallway towards John's room. Sam looked at his brother, wondering what type of mess they would be getting into.