Title: Family Fun

Author: KrisB

Rating: PG

Spoiler: Up through Season 3

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters belong to Joss, Fox, M.E., etc. Not mine. Just having fun.

Summary: Response to ODD challenge #14 - Family Fun. Xander & Willow are turned into little kids and it is up to Buffy and Giles to take care of them until they can change them back.
Must haves:

Giles telling the kids a bedtime story, bath time, someone not wanting to wear clothes, someone telling Buffy and Giles what a nice family or (if it is a lot of kids) asking them if they know what causes that, one or more of the kids scared of the dark or of sleeping alone, kid-Xander trying to look up someone's skirt, Giles watching cartoons with the kids and/or playing at the park, happy BG ending.

The afternoon wore on, and the children never seemed to run out of energy. Giles graciously agreed to take turns with them. He took them to the swing set. Buffy chased them around the grassy area. Giles scolded Xander for trying to look up little girls' skirts. He and Buffy threw them high into the air, delighted with their joyous laughter ringing throughout the park. Pictures were taken of the children at various levels of play. Buffy somehow managed to get the camera and took a few of Giles with his arms full of toddler.

At mid-afternoon they were all on the blanket again. Buffy and Giles were reading; Xander and Willow had crashed into serious nap-mode. Buffy twisted and held the camera high, ready to try a self-portrait, hoping they were all in the shot.

"Awww, look at that!"

"Look at the little girl's hair! So pretty."

Buffy looked up to see two women standing at the edge of their picnic blanket cooing over the sleeping forms of her friends. Giles smiled noncommittally before returning his attention to his book.

Buffy, however, met the ladies' eyes and smiled.

"They're beautiful children. You have a lovely little family," the first said.

"Yes, and your husband is a wonderful father. I saw him playing with them earlier," the other woman gushed. Buffy's smile slipped and she looked to Giles, who was staring up at the women like they were Chaos demons. Buffy plastered on a small smile and looked up at them again. "Actually, we're just babysitting. Their parents are out of town."

"Oh, sorry," the first said. "I just assumed. They seemed so comfortable with you two."

Buffy's smile turned genuine. "Yeah, we've known each other a while." She waved the camera at them. "Would you mind taking a picture?"

The strangers complied, then smiled and wished them a good afternoon before leaving the foursome alone on their blanket.

"That was weird," Buffy murmured, turning back to her book.

"Indeed," Giles replied.

The shrill tone of the telephone rang out against the peace of Giles' apartment. Buffy turned and glared at the offending device after checking her watch. Who the heck would call Giles at six in the morning? She grabbed the handset up before it could ring a second time and wake the kids.

"Hello?" she groused, her voice gritty with interrupted sleep.

"Buffy?"

Buffy's eyes snapped open wide.

"Mom?"

"I've been worried sick! Where have you been? What are you doing at Mister Giles' house?"

"It's a long story. What are you doing home?"

"I got home early last night. Don't think you can hedge me, young lady." Buffy cringed at hearing her mother's 'mom-voice'. "Why are you sleeping at Mister Giles'?"

"We had a problem during patrol –"

"Which led you to sleep there?!" Joyce exploded. "Are you hurt? Where's Mister Giles? I want to speak with him right now."

"He's asleep, Mom." Buffy's voice started to sound strained. "I'll have him call you back later."

"I've been up all night –"

"So have I," Buffy replied with a sigh. "I'll call you back later. Love you." She laid the phone down, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

She wasn't asleep for long. Someone began knocking on the door. Buffy, still half-awake from her mother's call, rolled over and stood. She grinned when she saw her Watcher sleeping on his research. Small miracle. He never slept through her knocking. She went to the door, a yawn taking her over as she turned the knob. Her free hand was scratching the back of her head when her eyes fell on her seething mother.

"Good morning," Buffy mumbled, not even bothering to apologize for her earlier behavior. She peeked over her shoulder and was glad to see that Giles was still asleep. She figured the kids probably were, too.

"Where is that man?" Joyce demanded, entering the apartment like she owned the place. Her eyes found Giles, sleeping hunched over her desk, and drew up short. "Is he asleep in that awful position?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yes." She closed the door and stepped around her mother. "I'll wake him up. He'd wig if he woke up to you right now."

Before Joyce could reply, Buffy made it to Giles' side. She laid her hand on his shoulder and gently shook it in an attempt to wake him. His head snapped up, a snort preceding a groan as his hand shot to his neck.

"Bloody hell…" he muttered. He looked up, his glasses missing from his face, and squinted at Buffy. "Buffy?" He stiffened, and looked around again. "Are the children all right?"

Buffy's face softened. "Yes, Dad Guy. They're fine. Still sleeping I think." She paused, and waited to make sure his attention was on her. "My mom's here."

Giles made no visible reaction, but she knew he was uncomfortable the second the words hit his brain. He looked around, realized his glasses were gone, and gave a small, half-smile when she offered them to him.

"What children?" Joyce asked, unconsciously speaking in low tones like them. "What's going on?"

"Well, see, I found this necklace thingie after I killed a bunch of demons –"

"Are they demon children?" Joyce asked, horrified. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for lurking shadows.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "No. Anyway, we were over here helping Giles with the books and –"

"What happened to the necklace?"

Buffy sighed and locked eyes with Giles. "Can you tell her? I just don't have the patience this morning."

Without saying another word, Buffy turned and left them, climbing the stairs to check on Willow and Xander.

'I'd rather hoped dealing with children would increase her patience,' he thought, smirking at his musings.

Joyce looked from Giles to Buffy's retreating back, back to Giles. "What the hell is going on here?"

He sighed and stood. "Please, have a seat. I'll make some tea and tell you all about the last two days."

Joyce opened her mouth to argue when a soft voice fluttered down from the loft.

"Ssh, now, everything's fine. Go back to sleep."

"But I wanna play."

"I know, but we have to wait. Can't you try to go back to sleep, just for a little while?"

"Okay." Pause, then, "Can I have peesa foh bwekfas?"

Joyce barely heard Buffy's chuckle. "No, but I bet Giles can be talked into making pancakes if you're good."

"Wif chock chips?"

"Maybe."

A joyous giggle erupted from a small mouth. "I like chock chips."

"I know you do."

"Buffy? I have to go potty," another tiny, tired voice said.

"What about you, little guy? Need a trip to the potty?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's go downstairs. You can meet my mom."

"You gots a mommy?"

"Yup."

Silence for a moment, then, "Is she a pwincess, too?"

Joyce heard Buffy's snort. "Silly kid, don't you know princesses come from queens?"

"She's a qween?" The little voice was in awe.

"Yup."

"Wow."

"Yeah, but we should probably potty first. Ready?"

Two little yes's sounded out, then Joyce heard the distinct sound of little feet bouncing on a hardwood floor.

"Ah ah ah. You know you can't go down the stairs without a grown-up," Buffy chided.

Joyce watched the stairs, not even realizing that Giles was back. Buffy appeared, each hand held by a toddler as they descended the stairs. A dark-haired boy and a red-headed girl. They looked to be about two or three years old. They were rumpled from sleep, rubbing their eyes.

"Does Ji-yals like chock chips?" the boy asked.

"Almost as much as he likes tea," Buffy replied with a grin.

The boy's eyes widened. "Wow. That much?"

Buffy nodded and her grin widened into a smile. She walked them behind the couch and guided them to the bathroom.

Joyce turned swimming eyes to Giles, her lips trembling even as she tried to force them to stop. "Can you please tell me what's happened, Mister Giles?"

He nodded and offered her a mug of tea.

Joyce was still absorbing everything when she heard the pounding of feet on the floor again. A second later, mini Willow and Xander ran around the couch, one from each side, and crashed into Giles' legs. He held his mug high and clucked at them.

"Didn't we learn about hot things yesterday?" he asked.

Properly chastised, they stepped back and waited for him to lower his mug to the coffee table. When he sat back, they launched themselves at him again. He scooped them up onto his lap and smiled at each child. They were both talking to him, their faces lit with glee.

"We was in the potty –"

"Buffy said we are good –"

"I bwuhshed all my teef, see?" Xander opened his mouth wide.

Willow frowned at Xander, then looked up to Giles as if she were the utmost of exasperated females. "Buffy said you can make pancakes."

"Yeah, wif chock chips!" Xander added.

Giles bit back a chuckle and looked down at him with a solemn frown. "I'm not sure if I have chocolate chips, Xander."

Xander's face fell, as if he'd died a little inside. "No chock chips?" His lip jutted out.

Giles decided he needed to learn how to tease a three year old if he was to survive. "Would you like to help me look for them?"

Xander nodded and scurried down Giles' knee to the ground. He turned around, but froze when he found Joyce staring at him. He took a step back just as Giles rose, Willow still in the Englishman's arms, and squeezed between Giles' and the couch, peeking around his protector's leg.

"Xander?" Giles asked.

The boy whimpered and hid his eyes behind Giles' knee. Giles looked up at Joyce. Before he could say anything, the bathroom door opened in the hall and a billow of steam preceded the freshly showered form of Buffy. She was dressed in another of his undershirts, and a pair of jockey shorts he recognized as something she called 'running shorts'. They ended five inches above her knees, and accentuated the length of her legs. Legs that were muscular and golden, no doubt from sunbathing in the park while the children napped. She was running her hands along her head in an attempt to wrestle her hair into a ponytail.

Barefoot, skin glowing from a hot shower, she was exquisite.

Giles jumped when he felt Xander pull on his pant leg. He looked down and tried to smile. "Yes?"

Xander pointed in Joyce's direction and asked, "Is she a bad qween?"

Giles turned to Joyce, who was glaring at him with renewed vigor. His brow furrowed, wondering what he could've done to upset her in the span of a few seconds. Buffy, having heard Xander's question, crouched down to him.

"Naw, she's not bad. She's just grumpy in the morning." She opened her arms and smiled when Xander left the protection of Giles' knee cap in favor of her. She stood and settled him on her hip, kissing his cheek. "Wanna go make breakfast?"

Joyce's face blanked at she stared at them. She couldn't believe how damned normal they looked. Giles and Buffy holding toddlers on their hips, smiling and speaking softly to one-another. They looked like a family. They looked like they belonged together.

She blinked when Buffy's voice broke through her haze. "Mom? I said, do you want to stay for breakfast?"

Joyce slowly stood, her eyes locked on them as she rose. She smiled a small, stiff smile and shook her head. "I'm going home. Are you sure you're all right?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. Giles can take care of us. He'll figure it out soon." She paused, then added, "Probably. Eventually."

Giles glared down at her. "Thank you so much for your support."

Buffy looked up at him with impossibly wide eyes. "I said probably. That's optimistic."

His scowl hardened until he noticed her lips twitch. She was teasing him. His face softened and he chuckled. His attention turned to Xander, then Willow. "So are we going to hunt for chocolate chips or am I free to make proper pancakes this morning?"

Xander's lip stuck out again. "I want chock chips."

"Very well." Giles smiled at Joyce. "You're more than welcome to stay. There's plenty to go 'round."

Joyce shook her head again. She turned sad eyes to her daughter. "Call me. Let me know how things turn out."

Buffy nodded and Joyce turned, leaving the apartment without a backward glance.

"What's her problem?" Buffy wondered aloud. She looked to Xander. "Was she mean?"

Xander shook his head. "She looked weely mad." He shrugged his little shoulders, looking so much like her friend she wanted to cry. She turned to Giles, however, with raised brows.

"Was she nice at all?"

Giles gave her his usual half-grin. "She was civil, yes."

Buffy shrugged. "Okay. Come on, Xander, I know where Giles hides the chocolate chips."

"I hide those from him for a reason, Buffy."

"Yeah, but we can control how much he eats now."

Silence for a moment, then, "But they're mine."

Buffy's laughter rang through the apartment and out into the terrace.

"Sshh, don't wake them up."

"I wanna do it."

"No. It's my idea."

A childish harrumph sounded and Buffy tried to keep her eyes closed, fighting laughter with every ounce of will she had. A bright flash of light passed through her closed eyes even as she heard the distinctive click of the disposable camera. Her eyes shot open and found Willow standing before her with the camera raised. Xander was grinning a grin from ear to ear, only partially hidden behind his little hand.

"I rather think Willow's far more mischievous than we give her credit for," said Giles, his voice rumbling against her ear.

Buffy sat up straight, staring at him. She'd been asleep on Giles. She fell asleep against him without even realizing it. And woke up all comfy and happy. Her initial reaction was to wig, but she just couldn't.

Giles looked down at her in concern. She looked so surprised, and he wasn't entirely sure why. At first he thought she was upset, but her cheeks quickly tinged in a blush and she was staring up at him as if he'd grown a second head. She looked away from him abruptly, down at her own body, as if she didn't recognize it.

She was glaring at her stomach. 'Stop that,' she thought. 'Whatever it is you think you're doing, you're not. So stop it.'

When her stomach refused to listen, and instead performed a few more defiant flips, she knew it was time to vacate the room. Now. She shot up from the couch and, patting Willow on the head, disappeared down the hall into the bathroom.

"Wha's wrong wif Buffy?" Xander asked.

"I haven't the foggiest," Giles replied, staring down the hallway.

"What?" Xander asked.

Giles shook his head and looked down at the toddler. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Wha's wrong wif Buffy?" the boy asked again.

Giles grinned. "I think she needed to use the restroom. She'll be fine." He stood, his back stiff from sleeping upright, and smiled down again. "Would you two like a snack?"

They nodded and followed him into the kitchen, ready to chow down on cookies and milk.

After dinner, and another drenching bath excursion, Buffy took the children upstairs and got them settled down for bed. Willow fell asleep quickly, tired from a long day of play and a filling dinner. Xander, however, stared at Buffy, fidgeting and frowning.

"Xander, are you okay?"

"Aaw you my new mommy?" he asked. Buffy hoped the smile she flashed was reassuring as she leaned forward and smoothed his hair down.

"No. I'm just watching over you for a few days."

He was silent for a moment, staring at her again, and said, "If I'm weely good, will you be my new mommy?"

Buffy bit her lip to keep it from wobbling. She leaned forward and hugged him to her. "No, but I promise to take care of you as long as we're friends."

He burrowed into her embrace. After a brief silence, he said, "Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you an' Ji-yals be my fwends always?"

"Always," she replied without hesitation.

"Okay."