Title: Family Fun
Author: KrisB
Rating: PG
Spoiler: Up through Season 3
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters belong to Joss, Fox, M.E., etc. Not mine. Just having fun.
Summary: Response to ODD challenge #14 - Family Fun. Xander & Willow are turned into little kids and it is up to Buffy and Giles to take care of them until they can change them back.
Must haves:
Giles telling the kids a bedtime story, bath time, someone not wanting to wear clothes, someone telling Buffy and Giles what a nice family or (if it is a lot of kids) asking them if they know what causes that, one or more of the kids scared of the dark or of sleeping alone, kid-Xander trying to look up someone's skirt, Giles watching cartoons with the kids and/or playing at the park, happy BG ending.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Buffy said, jumping up from her seat. "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back." She rushed to her purse and pulled out a cardboard packet. Willow's stomach, now full from the dinner they'd just shared, twisted in dread.
"What's up?" Xander asked, watching Buffy approach. Buffy waved the pictures, removed from the cardboard case, and smiled at him.
"We have pictures."
"Of what?" Xander asked.
"Of us," Willow said in a dead tone.
Buffy giggled. "It's not the end of the world, Will. You guys were cute."
Willow rolled her eyes, but joined Xander and Giles and stood behind Buffy's chair, looking over her shoulder. The first picture was obviously taken from above, showing the two children covered in colored marker.
"My little artists," Buffy said with a grin. Willow's ears perked at the tone in Buffy's voice. She noticed that it didn't go away no matter which picture they were looking at. Buffy told a loving story for every image, and didn't seem to notice when she traced the faces of the toddler versions of themselves. One of the last pictures in the stack was of Buffy and Giles, sleeping on the couch, slightly crooked and beautiful.
Giles was sitting up, his arm wrapped around Buffy's shoulder, Buffy curled up with her feet under her, her head resting on his chest. All four were silent as they stared down at the picture.
"Wow, so we knocked you guys out, huh?" Xander finally joked. Buffy chuckled, wetly they noticed, and all eyes looked down at her in concern. She flipped the picture to the back of the stack, however, moving on, and didn't realize she was the subject of such scrutiny.
Willow and Xander exchanged confused glances, looked up at Giles' concerned face, then back at each other. When they heard Buffy gasp, they all looked down, and caught the fleeting glimpse of the final picture on the roll before she could hide it.
"Hey, what was that?" Xander asked.
"Nothing. Bad print." Buffy grabbed the cardboard packet and began stuffing the photos inside. "That's it, the whole roll. Told you you guys were cute."
Xander, being Xander, snatched the packet away from her as soon as she relaxed her grip and bolted from the side of the table, opening the pictures as he did so. He flipped the last one to the front of the stack, and was so flabbergasted by the image there that he tripped over his feet and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, the pictures flying in every direction.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked, rushing to him.
Buffy snorted and crossed her arms. "Serves him right," she muttered. Giles smiled at her, agreeing, but went to Xander's side to check on him.
Xander had the offending photo in his grasp and was showing it to Willow with odd little choking noises.
Giles saw the picture just as Xander stopped waving it at Willow, and thought he might swallow his tongue. It was his first kiss with Buffy. Well, his second, actually, because she was pulled up to him, her bare feet dangling at his shins. They were locked together, one could see, even though the lighting was dim due to the early-morning hour.
"Why you little monsters!" Giles said, laughter bubbling out of him. "You sneaks!"
Willow blushed profusely as she stared down at the image. She looked up at Giles, first in embarrassment, then with a small smile. Somehow, she knew it was her who'd taken the picture. And she knew that had she not, it would take Buffy and Giles weeks, if not months, to tell their friends what happened between them.
"When did this happen?" Xander yelled, not looking at anything but the picture. "I mean, I don't get it! First Dead Boy, and now Giles? What the –" All forthcoming thought was halted with the sharp slap that landed on the back of his head. He looked up to see Willow glaring at him, her mouth pinched tight.
"Okay, one, ow. Two," he pointed at an equally upset Giles and Buffy, "I think it's a valid question. And did I mention, ow?"
Buffy crossed her arms and glared down at him. "Not that it's any of your business, but it's probably your fault."
"How is lip-locking with your Watcher my fault?" he demanded, standing to return her glare.
"Because you asked me to be your new mommy." She lifted her chin and was satisfied when his posture deflated. "Dealing with this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."
"I didn't think I was that bad a kid," he said, staring at his feet.
"I meant letting Giles change you back, you big goof." She stepped forward and pulled Willow and Xander into a group hug. "I loved you both, and I'll miss the little yous, but I'm glad you're back. I promise."
The hug was returned, then Xander and Willow stepped away, meeting each other's eyes before turning back to Buffy and Giles. Willow cleared her throat.
"So, we're okay with this as long as you guys don't leave. We want to keep you around."
"Yeah, and if you break up, you have to stay friends," Xander added.
Willow rolled her eyes and without looking, swatted her hand out and connected with his stomach. The "oof" that escaped him was more for show than from any real pain.
"Deal," Buffy said.
"Ahem," Giles cut in, drawing all eyes to him. "I wasn't aware that I needed permission."
"Giles, after the disaster that is Buffy's love-life, all boyfriends have to pass the best-friend test. At least you didn't have to get the third degree from Xander about your intentions."
Giles quirked a brow, looked from Xander to Willow, and then surprised everyone in the room by grabbing Buffy to his chest. He grinned down at her, and her face melted as he'd only seen done for Angel and that Owen boy. He would never understand how Angel could walk away from this, from her, when she looked at him like this.
Willow noticed movement out of the corner of her eye, looked out the window and almost choked.
"Uh, guys?" she said, hating to break the moment.
Buffy and Giles turned to her, brows raised in identical question.
"How are you going to tell Missus Summers?" she asked in a meek, worried tone.
"We haven't really had a chance to talk about it, Will."
"Well, you might want to, 'cause, uh, she's here."
A knock tapped on Giles' door and it opened, barely giving Buffy enough time to get away from Giles and bend over as if she were picking up the pictures. Xander mimicked her, covering the one of Buffy and Giles kissing with the others he was scooping from the floor.
"Oh, hey Missus Summers," Willow said, trying for nonchalance. It didn't work very well.
"Hello, Willow," Joyce said, staring down at the photos.
"Joyce, would you like some tea?" Giles asked, heading for the kitchen. He wasn't ready to attempt looking the woman in the eye, and he was too nervous to be angry at her assuming manner. One visit and she'd walked right into his apartment without waiting for him to come to the door.
"No thank you," she said, looking over Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy when are you coming home?"
Buffy looked up at her mom with a smile. "In a little while. We just finished dinner." Buffy handed her half of the photos to Xander and pointedly looked at the cardboard case. He smiled and began straightening the stack to put away.
"Were those pictures of Xander and Willow?" Joyce asked.
Buffy's throat tightened. "Uh, yeah. These two were always into something." She turned her mom away from Xander's direction. "You want something to eat? I made Gram's sauce."
The distraction worked and Joyce stared down at her daughter in surprise. "With the roasted peppers?"
Buffy nodded, a smile of pride on her face. "Yup, and it was edible, even."
Willow joined Buffy on the other side of Joyce, happy to hear a subject she could be truthful about. "Yeah, I think it was the best I've ever had."
Buffy grinned at her mother's obvious approval. "Yup, Gram's recipe is the best."
Another knock sounded on the door, followed by the entrance of Oz. He stopped when he saw everyone there, a look of almost-shock settling on his face. He found and met Giles' eyes. "Hey. Uh, there's some blue demon trying to catch a cat across the street."
Giles blinked, looked from Buffy to Willow, and then back to Oz. "Uhm, Buffy, Xander?" The two nodded, already stalking toward the weapons chest. He turned to Willow. "Willow, could you see if you can find anything in the index on a blue demon –" he looked to Oz.
"About seven feet tall, hairy, scaley…" he paused, then added, "It's actually pretty cool. It looks like a mix between a goat and a lizard. Only bigger."
Willow grinned, winked, and turned toward Giles' desk, ready to find the beast in question. Before Buffy had chosen her weapons, Willow had a book open and was leading the way out, filling the rest of the group in on weaknesses.
The door shut behind them and Joyce stood in the middle of the apartment. She looked around, noticing for the first time that it was not as immaculate as was her original observation in all things Mister Giles. Toys littered the floor and corners. Dishes from dinner were still on the table. She ventured over, dipped a spoon in and tasted the sauce. A little too much pepper, but good just the same.
She nodded in approval, and as she returned the spoon to the table, noticed the cardboard pack of pictures sticking up out of Buffy's purse.
"Well that should pass the time," she said aloud. She retrieved the pictures and moved to the couch, sinking down. She lowered her own purse to the coffee table and opened the pack.
"You'd think they would explain the goo in that musty old book," Buffy groused, hobbling through the front door of Giles' apartment. One of her shoes was missing and said goo coated her clothes and hair. The others were in a similar state of slime-covered misery, except Willow, who held the book close to her with a grim frown on her face.
"I'm sure it does," Giles retorted dryly, "perhaps on the page Xander ripped out."
"Hey, the stupid book said it was afraid of its own image. How was I supposed to know that meant getting a mirror out?"
"That is the general assumption with such a statement," Giles grit out, glaring at him. Xander decided it was time to get quiet and loped into the kitchen for the first aid kit. Oz followed.
Buffy sighed and sank to the floor in the middle of the entryway. "I'm not going anywhere until I get some of this gunk off me."
"My furniture is most grateful," Giles sighed, sinking down next to her.
Willow, who'd been silent thus far, cleared her throat. All Scoobies looked up at her, to find her staring at the coffee table. All eyes turned to the offending table. Buffy was the first to catch on.
"Oh great," she muttered. She lifted her knees, crossed her arms over them, and lowered her head into her arms. "Just great."
Willow placed the book on Giles' desk and slowly approached the coffee table, where the pictures were spread out, organized in a manner she didn't understand. The two pictures of Buffy and Giles, and the picture of them all on the picnic blanket at the park, were at the center. In a ring around them were pictures of Buffy or Giles with little Xander and Willow. Playing, smiling, cooking. The outside ring was only of Xander and Willow, both separate and together.
"Hey, where's Buffy's mom?" Xander blurted. After receiving three annoyed glares, Oz patted Xander on the back. No statement was necessary.
"Buffy, I think you should call your mom," Willow said softly. She looked up to meet her friend's eyes. "I think she might be okay with this."
Buffy snorted and shook her head. "You didn't see her the other day. Just the idea of me sleeping here, let alone anything else –" She halted, a blush exploding over her face and down her neck as she ducked her head away.
Willow picked up the phone on Giles' desk and dialed the number she knew by heart, ignoring Buffy's whispered plea to stop.
"Hello?"
"Missus Summers?"
"Willow? Is Buffy all right?"
"Yeah, she's right here."
"Oh," Joyce replied, disappointed. "I suppose she's confused."
"Well, yeah. We found the photos –"
"May I talk to Mister Giles, please?"
Willow looked from the phone to the couple sitting on the floor. "Um, Giles? She wants to speak with you."
Giles felt rather like he was approaching the gallows as he rose and reached for the phone. "Yes, hello?"
Buffy watched him, hearing only his side of the conversation. There were many quiet yeses and quites and of courses. When he finally lowered the handset, Buffy, Xander and Willow were holding their breath. Oz was confused, but willing to wait for the explanation he knew would come.
"Giles!" Buffy yelled, startling her Watcher from his dazed state. He smiled and returned to her, sinking to his knees.
"Your mother has assured me that my life is officially no longer mine, and will be forfeit should I hurt you in any way, shape or form."
Buffy was quiet a moment. "Seriously?" When his smile spread to one of those full, glorious Gilesey-smiles, and she could see the joy in his eyes, her own face brightened. "She's okay with this?"
"Well, she was upset that we hid –"
"Giles." He stopped. "She's okay?" He nodded and was almost knocked backwards as he caught her.
Oz grinned even as his eyebrows tipped up. "That's new," he observed. Xander turned to him.
"How do you do that?" he asked. "I freaked."
Oz shrugged his shoulders. "Years of practice, I guess."
Xander shook his head and looked back at his friends, hugging each other even though they were covered in demon yuck. "I think that'll just have to be your thing."
Oz nodded. "I know."