If Only...
Chapter 2
Harborview Towers
Sonny watched Carly from the corner of his eye. She stood stiffly on the other side of the elevator watching the numbers go up. She glanced at him briefly, flashing him a quick smile before turning to stare blankly at the numbers again. Sonny frowned, every instinct telling him to ignore her pleas and take her to the hospital.
"No- no hospital."
He remembered the fear in her voice and the memory of it brought a cold fist to his heart. Whoever had done this was going to pay. He'd make sure of that. The ding of the elevator brought his attention back to Carly. She walked out of the cab toward his penthouse. He noticed she avoided glancing at Jason's door.
Moving quickly, he brushed past her and opened his door, stepping back to let her in. She met his eyes for a second and that familiar rush of electricity passed between them. Averting her eyes, Carly entered the penthouse, taking a deep breath. /Home./ She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. She hated this. She hated being weak. Carly brushed the tears away from her face, crossing her arms.
Sonny observed her from his post at the desk. He knew she was fighting some inner demons only she knew about. He realized she was trying to be strong. Without thinking, he moved to her, his hands falling on her shoulders. "Carly?"
Carly flinched instinctively at his caress before her mind registered it was Sonny. He might hate her but he'd never hurt her. "I'm okay, Sonny." She moved to the couch, feeling warmth where his hands had been. "I'm okay." She sat on down putting her hands to her face. She needed time. Time to get herself together. Time to forget. "Sonny, can I ask a favor?"
"Anything."
Carly's head came up to meet his eyes. "Can I please stay here for a little while?" Sonny nodded, coming to sit next to her on the couch. "As long as you need." He was close enough to see the tears. With shaking hands he took her battered face in his, wiping at her eyes. "Is there anything I can do?" Carly shook her head, moving to the phone. "Is there a phone I can use?"
"The one on the desk. I'll go make you some tea." He headed to the kitchen as she picked up the phone. He went to work on the tea, keeping his thoughts away from the woman in his living room. He picked up the tray he's set everything on and walked back into the living room. He felt a moment of panic when he didn't see her. Setting the tray down, he went up the stairs, thinking it was the only place she could have gone. Unless she took off. He shook his head at the thought. She wouldn't have gone anywhere. "Carly?"
He heard a noise coming from the guest room and followed it, seeing her silhouette in the dark room. She was lying on the bed, curled up into a tight ball. He saw the heaving movements of her back and knew the wall she'd managed to build was falling. He stood frozen to the spot.
What on earth is going on in my heart?
Has it turned as cold as stone?
Seems these days I don't feel anything
Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart?
Sonny watched the woman he loathed crumble before him and he felt something inside him give way. Why had this happened to Carly? She was strong, beautiful, and brave. He knew that even if he'd never admit it. She was a liar but she'd die for someone she loved. She drove him nuts with her plans but she was the reason he'd kept his sanity one horrible night. He hated that she'd seen him at his weakest. He hated the way his heart raced when she walked into a room. He hated the way she looked at Jason. He realized she made him think too much. Feel too much. He hated that the most.
My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my
Carly could feel Sonny presence behind her and she tried to stop the tears but they only came harder. She didn't care. She felt the numbness take over and let it wash over her. Nothing was all she wanted to feel. She heard a footstep and was reminded of Sonny. She couldn't feel numb with him around. He drove her mind to distraction. He saw right through her, making her feel like a child. Her senses went into overdrive when he was around. She felt her heart pound as he stepped closer.
What on earth is going on in my head?
You know I used to be so sure
You know I used to be so definite
Thought I knew what love was for
I look around these days and I'm not so sure
"Carly?" Sonny voice caught on her name. He knew she heard him when he saw the tension in her body. "Carly. Can I do anything for you?" Carly shook her head and he started to back away. "Okay." He reached the door and stopped, something inside him pushing him to stay. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught her reflection in the mirror across the room. Pain and fear in her beautiful brown eyes. She looked up and their eyes caught. Neither knowing nor caring why he felt this way Sonny moved towards the bed.
My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
Carly's breath caught in her throat when Sonny made his way to her side. He sat on the edge of the bed, tugging at her arm. Carly let him pull her up on the bed. They sat facing each other, his hand coming to trace the bruises on face. Memories of his mother rushed into his head and he felt that same impotent rage now that he did then. He couldn't do anything to make it go away. Taking a few strands of her hair in his fingers, he let it sift through them slowly. "I'm sorry."
My oh my you know I just can't win
I burn it down it comes right back again
What kinda world is this we're living in?
where you never win
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love these days
To keep your heart from freezing
To keep your spirit free
Carly looked at him in surprise not sure what he was talking about. "For what?"
"For not being able to help."
She shook her head, the hair falling over her face. "No. Sonny this isn't your fault. It's my own." She looked up at him and reached out to touch his face. Memories of the night of his breakdown came back and he felt that same pull to her now he had then. He began to move closer, his eyes falling to her lips. Carly leaned in, the strange craving that he always ignited taking over.
"Sonny?" Hannah voice rang through the penthouse, followed by the slamming of the door. Carly pulled back the fear of being seen shone clearly in her eyes. Sonny covered her hand with his. "Don't worry. I'll take care of Hannah." He stood up, walking quickly to the door.
"Sonny?"
He stopped, looking at her over his shoulder. Carly smiled at him before looking down at her hands, playing with her nails. "Thanks."
My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
Carly stood up from the bed, her eyes meeting Sonny's as she walked over to him. Leaning in, she kissed his cheek softly, a spark running through air between them. "I really mean it. Thank you." Sonny stared at her, his eyes dark and intense. Carly looked away from them. "You should go down before she finds us here."
Nodding, Sonny walked out closing the door behind him. He stood in the hallway collecting his thoughts. He glanced back at the door before heading downstairs. Carly moved against the door, sliding down slowly. Knowing he wouldn't be coming back for some time, she put her hands to her face and let the tears fall.
My oh my it just don't stop
My oh my it just don't stop
My oh my it just don't stop
Lyrics: "My oh my" by David Gray