There was a soft, quick knock at the door before the person entered without an invitation. It didn't matter…Haley knew exactly who it was. And sure enough Brooke emerged with yet another bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a box of tissues.

"Reloading on the ammo, Nurse Haley and don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from."

Taking a handful of Kleenex, Haley balled them up and blew her sore, reddened nose as hard as she could.

"Thank you," she said with a muffled voice.

"Easy. You blow any harder your brain is gonna come through those nostrils."

"Brooke…"

"Sorry. Lame attempt at humor, sue me."

Haley sank back into the pillows stacked on her bed and used one to cover her face, stained with tears, puffy and red from hours of crying and no sleep. It was supposed to be the perfect night and for a few fleeting hours it seemed like the evening would be that way. They had made it through all the hard parts…getting through that awkward phase of confessing those kinds of feeling to one another, getting past Dan…the rest was supposed to be easy.

She had messed up and she knew it. The day her superiors introduced their "by any means necessary" theory in gaining information on Nathan Scott was the day Agent Haley James should have said no. And had they threatened to remove her from the case, she should have stepped away with pride, dignity and a sense of ethical and professional responsibility. But she had stayed on and in the process spun a web of lies. How she longed for someone to talk to but there was no one. Her bosses? Yeah right. The only thing they were interested in was their politics and their convictions.

Haley missed her life, she missed her dog. She sighed as she realized the FBI was her only connection to the real world, to Haley James. Without that, she was Haley Webb, RN. Because of that, she could not contact her family or her friends, including her beloved Mouth who was quite possibly the only one in the world that understood her. Brooke had tried her best to be a good friend but when it came down to it, how good of friends were they really? It was all one big elaborate lie made up by the government. Brooke didn't even know who Haley was, that the stranger beside her was an undercover federal agent.

This was the exact reason Haley had always thrown herself into school and studies. All her life she had been striving to make it better, make something out of herself. While other girls her age had focused on a social life and boys, Haley had eyed the bigger picture of success. Career had been her number one goal and it had been a reason she had chosen to prioritize her life that way. When it came to her professional life, she was always in control. She had chosen her career paths, her college education, her route in life. Haley had mapped out a plan and lived her life according to it. She had relied on her brain and it had worked. That was the beautiful thing about using your mind instead of your heart.

Relying too much on feelings and emotions made one weak. And it also opened up the door to unspeakable pain. Haley had felt that pain once but it was an issue she never talked about out loud, much less even thought of. It had happened her second year of college. His name was Alex King and he had been a dream. An intelligent and ambitious double business major with killer blue eyes and enough appeal to charm the grease right out of a biscuit. Funny, interesting and sweet, the handsome captain of the lacrosse team had taken notice of Haley James in the university's main library. He had initiated a conversation and to her surprise and delight, it had turned into months of exclusive dating. Haley had been on cloud nine, teetering on the verge of falling in real love for the first time ever. Then it had happened.

The changes she began to notice in his behavior were subtle and slow at first. Then it became more obvious. He gradually stopped returning her e-mails and phone calls altogether. When it was time to hang out, the excuses on his part grew more elaborate as Alex became more distant. And the times they were together, it appeared that he wished they weren't. Suddenly it dawned on Haley. Behind closed doors everything had been wonderful but in front of the prying eyes of the world, Alex with his good looks and perfect image was simply ashamed of his new girlfriend.

Haley had never forgotten that feeling. It burned almost like a physical ache. She had been humiliated. Just like every other endeavor, she had put her mind, heart, soul and time into it, 110 percent. Just as quickly as it had started, it was over. And it wasn't just life without Alex that she had to live with. The overwhelming hurt of not being good enough had been suffocating. She cried her many tears then took a solemn vow never to let it happen again. Haley was an analytical thinker. Everything had a plan and it was simple. If she didn't give her heart again, how could it ever get broken?

She had been a fool to deviate from the plan that had worked so well for so many years. She had been a fool to mix business with pleasure. And she had been the biggest fool of all when, "Haley Webb" or not, she actually thought that a guy like Nathan Scott could and would really fall for her. Now she was hurting again, second guessing her career and wanting to hop the next flight back to Phoenix to be with her Mouth and her Tobey.

"Brooke, I, um, I appreciate everything you've done for me but I think I just really want to be alone right now."

"You sure? Because I feel bad."

"Why? It's not your fault. You didn't do this."

"Yeah but I pushed you to go after Nathan. I guess I gave the jerk too much credit."

"I guess I did too," Haley agreed sadly.

"I could kick his ass," Brooke offered.

Haley forced a small smile.

"That, uh, that doesn't sound like a bad idea actually but it's not gonna make me feel better, Brooke."

"Then what will?"

Haley took a deep breath.

"I…I don't know if this is such a good idea anymore."

"What?"

"This. Any of it, all of it. I was thinking maybe…"

"Oh no! Don't say it! Nurse Haley, don't even think it! I'm gonna have to kick your ass if you're thinking what I think you're thinking."

"Things are pretty awkward right now. It might be best for everybody if I just left."

"Haley!"

"Brooke, please try to understand and please don't try to talk me out of it."

A fearful, exasperated Brooke was at her wit's end when they both heard a knock on the door. The person on the other side was unexpected company, to say the least.

"Sorry to interrupt. Can I come in?"

Brooke just dramatically rolled her eyes, standing up.

"Whatever. I was just leaving anyway. Broody's probably wondering where I was so see you around, Haley…that is if you're still here. Oh and if I see Nathan in the path of between here and my bedroom, I fully intend to ram these brand new Prada heels down his throat and manually pull them out his ass."

The feisty brunette pushed past a puzzled looking Peyton.

"Look, Peyton, I…"

"Um, I take it you're pretty upset but I just wanted to talk to you. I promise I won't stay long."

Haley finally nodded, watching Peyton close the door behind her.

"I guess you've heard, huh?"

Peyton shrugged.

"Bits and pieces."

"Gosh, news travels around this house like wildfire."

"Unfortunately. Are you okay?"

"No."

"Haley…"

"I get it now, okay? And if that's what you came here to tell me, fine."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were right and I was wrong. You know him better and much longer than I have and you knew something like this would happen which is why you practically begged me not to go after him. You came over here to tell me, 'I told you so'."

"Haley, it's not like I'm gloating over this. Yeah, I guess I've kind of earned that hardened, tough as nails, no nonsense image but it's not like I sit around and rejoice over other people's pain."

"But you said…"

"I know what I said."

"And I didn't listen."

"You made a choice. Choices have consequences. So the question is, what now?"

"I don't know."

"Brooke said something about you not being here?"

"I'm still weighing my options but yeah leaving is one of them. I'm thinking about it."

"Why?"

"Why not? You predicted something like this and you were right. I wasn't smart about it and I didn't have my eyes wide open. Now that the fairytale is over and I'm faced with reality again, I have to look at my situation and that is I fell for my boss, I kissed him, went on a date with him with hopes of even starting a relationship. My boss happens to be one of the most famous athletes in the country and the paparazzi ruined our night and then Nathan went the extra mile by totally publicly denying we were even on a date."

"Look, Haley…"

Haley closed her eyes.

"I've been through this sort of thing before," Haley began unsure of why she was about to share an important truth from her real past. "There was this guy, you know, Mr. Popularity, Mr. Drop Dead Gorgeous. I, um…I got hurt. It was kind of the same concept, I guess. I don't know. Maybe when it comes to me, guys just change their minds after a while. Or maybe I'm that really cool chick guys can hang out with and talk to but when it's time to get romantic, then I'm just not the one."

"Haley…"

"Look, I don't want to bore you with my sob stories. It's not your problem, Peyton. I messed up. This whole thing with Nathan was a bad idea from the jump. I realize that now. You don't know how bad I realize it. The truth is, I don't know where we all go from here. Awkward is not the word and as much as it sucks, I can admit that my feelings are pretty hurt and I'm disgusted by Nathan's behavior. I don't know if I'm willing to associate myself with people that can lie and hurt others so easily."

"Don't go."

Haley was taken aback momentarily. Peyton's voice sounded almost pleading.

"Give me one good reason why I should stay."

"Because we need you."

"Excuse me?"

"Nathan acted like a complete ass, I can't and I won't try to excuse that. I already told you I don't want to be involved in your personal issues but I have a feeling he didn't mean to hurt you. Regardless, Nathan and I have been friends forever. This is more than just a job to me. I really care about him, about this family. It took so long to find you. You're not just another nurse. Every employee becomes a member of this secret inner circle. It's hard to find people we can trust, people with good intentions. I don't want to lose that. You know a lot, perhaps too much..."

"So you think I'm gonna go blab sordid Scott family secrets. Is that what this is about?"

"No. It's more than that. Not only are you a hell of a nurse, I think you've been a really good influence for all of us, especially Nathan. I won't ask you to forgive him because that isn't my place. But I will ask you not to run away. I will ask you to somehow learn to deal with this and keep your job. Please. Just consider it."

"What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act or feel around him? How would it even work?"

"You'll figure it out," Peyton stood to leave. "You're a professional."

The door closed softly behind her, leaving Haley alone and lonely on the bed. She felt anything like a professional. She felt like an idiot, like a failure. If she hadn't know it before, now it was crystal clear…Haley James or Haley Webb, whoever she was, was in her way over her head.