The feeling in the pit of Haley's stomach was almost unbearable. In fact, it had started that very morning after the first time she and Nathan Scott had made love and spent the night together. Those first few hours had been magical. Her eyes glazed over with ecstasy and bliss, she had lazily relaxed in the sanctity of his strong arms. Never before had another human being felt so familiar to her. Sure she'd had sex with other men before but with Nathan it had been different. As corny and cliché as it sounded, they had truly become one. The feeling had been wonderful as they drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other's caring embrace. Haley had enjoyed the most peaceful night of sleep she'd ever had in her life. It should have been perfect. And it was. Then, she woke up…
When morning came, so did that feeling. That other feeling. Not the one when all was happy and beautiful but the one where reality set in. The minute her eyes opened, the dark cloud settled over her. The night had been amazing but had it been worth it? So much had happened. So much more could have happened. When Nathan had entered the room, she had been wearing the wiretap. She had been successful at discreetly removing it but one false move and it would have been all over. She shuddered to think what would have happened had he found out. The feds' investigation would have been blown to smithereens. And her cover would have been blown right along with it. Nathan would know the truth about her identity. What would he say? What would he do? How would he look at her? Just the very thought was enough to drive her insane. She had escaped the answers to those questions for the time being but surely a day would come when there would be no escape. Nathan would find out the truth and that was inevitable.
The second her eyes opened, she had turned over to see him still quietly snoozing. She stared at him for what felt like forever, loving what had taken place between them the night before but desperately wishing the timing and circumstances had been different. Eventually his own eyes fluttered open and clearing his throat, he gave her a smile and a kiss. It had been a long time since the handsome love 'em and leave 'em stud had bothered to stay behind for a romantic cuddle the next day. But Haley was different. He felt like he could hold her forever.
Forever would have to wait. Nathan Scott's life was one big schedule. There were always things to do, people to see, and places to be. After a few more stolen kisses, it was back to his own suite for a quick shower and breakfast. Along with the packing came the unenviable task of avoiding his father, a feat he somehow managed to pull off until the plane ride home. For the next eight hours and 22 minutes, he ignored the stares and smiles of his teammates and the scowl from Dan as he and Haley sat together, hand in hand, sharing kisses throughout the flight. Their relationship was now public and official on full display for the world to see. Content in his arms, Haley spent most of the ride staring out of the window watching the clouds, a secret and heavy burden weighing heavily upon her.
That evening Nathan had invited her to spend the night with him in his bed back at the Cape Cod house. Still dealing with the mix of emotions of her plight, she had made up something, stammering an excuse about having a migraine and wanting to sleep alone in her own bed. He had appeared disappointed but she didn't stick around for further discussion. Instead she had locked herself behind the safety net of her bedroom's closed doors. Nestled between the covers, a million thoughts and questions raced through her mind. She knew she couldn't put Nathan off forever and a part of her didn't want to. Sleeping beside him on a nightly basis was a heavenly vision but what about the wire?
Then there was the other issue. She could only imagine what her bosses were thinking. They had yet to contact her and in most cases, no news was good news but Haley was smart enough to know that wouldn't work for her situation. She was in for it, that was for sure. She even compared it to a little kid doing something naughty at school and having to wait to get home to get punishment from their parents. There would definitely be backlash and she would have to be woman enough to face the music. But the wait was killing her. Then later the next morning, the crypted text message appeared on the secret phone the FBI used to contact her. Like something out of a 007 film, the message quickly erased itself and any trace of its existence just minutes later. Special Agent Haley James had been summoned to a mandatory meeting that afternoon in the city.
Nathan was occupied with basketball and the house had been empty except for Lucas. She mumbled something about having a routine doctor's appointment and had been able to slip off to the covert location in a busy section of downtown Boston. Getting out of the car, there was that damned feeling again. Somehow it managed to manifest itself from psychological to physical as she threw up in a street alley. Still it was time to face the music and accept the consequences of her actions, whatever they might have been. Entering the small room she saw the solemn, no nonsense faces of Agents Bailey, Alston and the local affiliate she had met previously, Edmondson. Another person had joined them, an older female identified as Supervisory Special Agent Barbara Farmer. The pin on her lapel distinguished her higher ranking.
"Good afternoon," Haley said, meekly, not knowing what else to say.
She didn't know what to expect but the sudden slamming of angry fists on the desk caught her off guard. Ever since she had been hired with the Phoenix based department, she'd had a knack for getting under Bailey's skin. She annoyed him and on many occasions he had expressed his growing dislike for her but the red in his cheeks and the fire in his eyes showed his disapproval had escalated to a whole other level.
"Good afternoon? Good afternoon! You hear that, Alston? Edmondson? She has the nerve to say good afternoon!"
"Boss…" an equally unsympathetic but still rational Alston tried to interject.
"No! Young lady, you are in a heap of trouble!"
"Agent Bailey, sir…"
"What the hell happened in that hotel room, James?"
Haley felt the four walls closing in.
"Um…"
She felt like a babbling fool as her heart tried to beat itself right out of her chest.
"It was quite an interesting turn of events. Nathan Scott has an episode in Oakland with you, his faux girlfriend, then hours later shows up at your hotel room for another confrontation in San Francisco. Now every single piece of conversation and information occurring in this investigation is important but let's just say we were particularly interested in what was to be said this night. And what happens?" he angrily pulled a stack of papers Haley perceived to be transcripts. "I'll tell you what happens! After a half ass apology and a few kisses, lo and behold what do you think we hear next? Huh, James? I am speaking to you!"
His voice rose like thunder, making her body jump.
"I…I don't know."
He smirked.
"You don't know? Of course you don't know! Now thanks to your incompetence, we don't know either! That's correct, we heard absolutely nothing. At first, we assumed it was a malfunction with the equipment so we called someone in to troubleshoot the problem. Turns out, and this will come as no surprise to you, James, there was no malfunction. No. The wire had been turned off."
"I, I know. Sir, if I could just speak…"
"You certainly may not!"
"Just let her explain," Alston suggested, looking away.
"Explain what? I mean, what can she possibly say? James, it seems lately you are taking the United States government for a bunch of fools but do you honestly expect us to believe your wire became accidentally disassembled?"
"Yes…I mean, no. I, I mean it, it could happen but…"
"This is ridiculous! I have heard more than enough. This case is too goddamned important to place it in the hands of the likes of this moron! I knew she would find a way to screw it all up!"
"Agent Bailey…"
"Shut up! Not another word from you! Hand over your badge and get the hell out of this office! A plane ticket back to Arizona will be waiting for you at Logan International and I expect your resignation within 72 hours or else you will be terminated!"
Tear filled Haley's eyes. She began to tremble as she stood there absolutely stunned and speechless.
"Calm down, Bailey," a voice finally spoke after what seemed like forever.
Bailey's beady eyes widened as he stared at Agent Farmer.
"Look at what she's done! This idiot is botching our entire investigation!"
"You are not taking her badge, Agent Bailey. You don't have the authority to do so."
Bailey cleared his throat and straightened his tie. He was used to being the ranking member in charge.
"But you do, ma'am," he lowered his tone.
Agent Farmer cut her eyes at Bailey.
"I am aware of that, thank you," she said curtly.
"Agent Farmer, Agent James is a liability. She must be removed from this case at once!"
"On what grounds?"
"On the grounds that she is clearly involved in an intimate, emotional relationship with the prime suspect. Her feelings for Nathan Scott hinder her ability to do her job."
"Is this true?" Farmer addressed Haley for the first time.
"No. No, I…"
"Did you or did you not have sexual intercourse with him on the night in question?" Bailey demanded.
Haley hung her head.
"Yes," she answered in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Do you understand the risks of personal involvement, Agent James? You are a federal agent assigned undercover to investigate a suspected criminal, an alleged murderer to be exact."
"I, I know that."
"Then what were you doing?"
Haley's lips quivered as she struggled to respond.
"My, my job."
"Your job?"
"Yes. You, you guys said to use Nathan's attraction for me. It would be good for the case and I could possibly get a confession if I was his girlfriend…"
"Is that true?" Farmer raised an eyebrow.
Alston and Edmondson, silently looked away, leaving the reply to the man in charge, the man who had pushed the harebrained scheme in the first place.
"Well, yes, it is true but no one told her to sleep with him."
He was nervous and covering his own ass, conveniently forgetting his earlier suggestions.
"I hope not, Bailey," Farmer threatened. "That would be unethical."
Haley took a deep breath.
"I did sleep with him. Nobody forced me to. But I am undercover and this is a part of my investigation. I, I'm playing the role of his girlfriend. He's a normal man with a healthy sex drive. Of course he is going to want intimacy and how long could I deny him that before he got suspicious? Agent Farmer, this is a job and one I take seriously. I promise you I am not a liability to this case or to the Bureau. I am still investigating this case thoroughly and without bias."
"What happened in the room, Agent James?" Edmondson asked.
"We…we were kissing. He started to touch me. I, I knew what was coming next. I didn't want to blow my cover so I got rid of the wire before he saw it."
"Then?"
"Then we had sex. Afterwards, we fell asleep. The next morning he left. I showered and put the tap back on. Nothing of relevance to the case was ever discussed during the time I was not wearing the wire, I swear."
"I see," Farmer nodded. "And you do not have romantic feelings for him?"
"No," she lied.
"Do you think he's guilty?"
Of course not! But Haley was already skating on thin ice and she knew she couldn't voice that. If they knew she thought he was innocent, they would surely remove her from the case and assign someone else all too eager and happy to join the witch hunt. She hated lying but she couldn't risk it. She had to stay on and prove Nathan's innocence by finding the real culprits.
"I have no opinion yet as to his guilt or innocence. All I want is to bring the true criminals to justice. I intend to do that and if Nathan Scott is guilty, then so be it. But I need more time to investigate. If you remove me now, Nathan and his entire family will become suspicious. It'll be almost impossible and it certainly will take a long time to infiltrate someone else who can successfully get close to them again. "
Farmer let out a breath.
"You know, Bailey is right. We should confiscate your badge and recommend your suspension right away but I'm not going to do that, Agent James. Based on the facts so far you do seem to be making progress and solving this case is the primary factor. You're in with the Scott's and that's what we wanted. To pull out now would be a mistake and it would hurt the investigation just like you said. So I'm going to do something for you I don't normally do, rookie. I'm going to put my ass on the line for you."
Haley breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"Agent Farmer, thank you. And I apologize to you, to all four of you if I have disappointed you. I am sorry and I promise to be more careful and professional and…"
"And you will wear this at all times now," Farmer handed her a tiny piece of equipment.
"What is this?"
"Seeing your newfound status with Mr. Scott, the original wiretap is all but useless. This is a newer device. As you can tell, it is extremely compact. Place it in your ear. You won't be able to feel it and no one else can see it, even in close proximity. But it serves the same purpose. We will be able to hear everything. Now there will be no more excuses, right, Agent James?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Very well. But let me tell you something, kid. Botch this case and you're gone...permanently. You will never work for law enforcement again. If you thought old Bailey over there was something, you ain't seen nothing yet. I'm hell on heels and your badge and your ass will be mine, got it? So don't make a fool out of me and I strongly suggest you concentrate less on being in Nathan Scott's bed and more on getting a confession."
Haley knew she was less than a hair away from losing her job altogether. She had lost control and allowed emotion to take over. She had fallen in love with Nathan Scott and that had threatened to ruin everything. Now she had one more chance. She was a woman on a mission, not for a confession but for the truth. And there had to be a way. A way to prove Nathan's innocence, keep her badge, and keep her boyfriend from hating her once he found out who she really was.