If Only...

Chapter 16

"They said they wanted 5000 pounds, and when we agreed to the order they suddenly realized it was too...Benny...he's doing it again."

Benjamin Abrams - Benny to those he was close to - glanced up from his paperwork at the sound of Johnny's irritated voice. His gaze fell on his boss lost in his own thoughts, an occurrence that was happening more and more often.

Benny held back a smile. He couldn't blame the man after all. He knew how Sonny felt about Carly even if Sonny didn't know. You could see it in his eyes. He loved the girl, and Benny was willing to bet that she loved him back. If he were more of a romantic like his Leah, he would have called it fate.

Whatever it was, he was glad that Sonny had found some happiness and prayed that he would be allowed to keep it.

Johnny rolled his eyes and loudly cleared his throat. "Sir?"

Sonny blinked, his eyes focusing on Johnny, and he looked from him to Benny. "Ah. Yeah. I...what was that?"

"I was saying..."

Benny cut Johnny off. "Sir, can I make an observation?"

Sonny nodded slowly, cautious. "Sure, Benny."

"Tell her."

Johnny's forehead furrowed in confusion. "What?"

Sonny kept his eyes on Benny. He knew that denying it would be futile. The old man could read him better than his own father could. "I don't think that's an option right now, Benny."

Johnny glanced between the two. "What's not an option?"

Benny inclined his head to look at his notes. "I think it may be your only one, sir. It's time."

"It's too early, Benny."

"Too early for what?" Johnny asked, exasperated.

"It's never too early. But it may become too late. You should take the chance."

"I don't like chances. I want to make sure it's right."

"Huh?"

"Nothing's a sure thing. Everything is a leap of faith, Sonny." Benny rose from his chair, gathering his papers and heading for the door. "Don't let her slip away." He patted a confused Johnny on the shoulders and, without a glance backward, walked out the door.

Sonny stared after the older man a few moments, letting his words sink in. He smiled widely, rising from his chair. "I'm going to be out the rest of the day, Johnny."

Johnny watched as Sonny grabbed his jacket and headed for the exit. He glanced around the now empty room, raising his hands in frustration. "What the hell did I just miss?"

Carly swallowed hard as she stared at a livid Jason. This wasn't the way she had wanted to tell him. "Jase..."

"What the hell do you mean you're living with Sonny?"

"I...that is..." She couldn't find her voice and she glanced behind her in desperation. Elizabeth met her eyes, sensing Carly's fear, and stepped around the counter. She held her hand up at Jason and blocked his view of Carly, realizing that the other woman probably needed a moment to collect herself.

"Um...listen Jason. Why don't you just give Carly a minute, all right? I'm sure she can explain."

"Fine. What's your explanation, Carly? Is this a new plan? Are you trying to use my best friend to make me jealous? Trying to destroy your life and mine again?"

Carly felt all her fear swept away by anger, her body stiffening with indignity. She hated the way Jason could make her feel. Like she was guilty and needed to defend herself. Or worse yet, that she was helpless.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at Jason, ready to rebuke him for what he had said. She wasn't one to defend Carly. The woman never seemed to need it. But damned if she was going to stand here and let her idiot friend rip into her.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

Elizabeth realized the words she had been thinking had been spoken, but not by her. She caught Jason's shocked expression as she turned to look at Carly, who was practically fuming. She glanced between the two friends and stepped quietly out the line of fire. This was none of her business. Besides, she thought as she glanced at Carly's face again, it was way past time Jason faced a few truths.

Carly held her hand up as Jason opened his mouth. "I want you to shut up and listen very carefully, Jason." She took a deep breath, not waiting for him to agree. Holding her hands together in front of her, she looked at her oldest and, for a long time, only friend. "I love you, Jason. I do. You have seen me through some of the worst moments of my life. When I thought I had no one, you were there. We came to rely on each other. To need each other. And I think somewhere along the line we came to expect things from each other."

Jason nodded at her pause, encouraging her to continue. He glanced briefly at Elizabeth, who seemed to find wiping down the counter a fascinating chore. His eyes came back to Carly as she spoke once more.

"You came to expect, I think even want, me to screw up. Not because you wanted to see me do it, but because then it gave you a purpose. If I screwed up then it would be up to you to rescue me. And for a long time I bought into that. I even fed into it. I came to believe that you saving me was what I wanted. That you would one day look at me and see that I was everything." Carly wiped at her eyes, tears she'd realized had fallen wetting her fingertips. She rubbed them into her hands. "But someone made me realize that's not who I am. I'm not Robin. I don't need to be rescued. To be put on some pedestal and treated like a fragile piece of glass. That's not what I want. Someone taught me that I was worth more than I realized. More than just my body or my face. Or my son."

Jason swallowed past the lump his throat. "Sonny."

Carly nodded. "Yeah. Sonny." She laughed lightly. "Shocking, huh?" She looked away for a moment then returned her gaze to his face. "He made me believe in me. That I could do whatever I set my mind to. When I needed someone, he didn't try to save me. He stood by my side and let me save myself. He gave me strength. He was my partner, not my savior, and that's what I want, Jase. Someone who wants me for me and nothing more. Believes the best in me."

Elizabeth stood entranced at Carly's words. There was a joy in her voice, a happiness Elizabeth had never heard before.

Carly stared Jason in the eye. "I'm in love with him, Jason. For everything he sees in me but mostly for everything he can't see in himself. I don't expect you to understand, but I do expect you to respect it." She grabbed her purse and turned toward the exit, calling over her shoulder as she paused at the door. "I am more grateful to you for bringing him to me than you will ever know." She glanced behind her to the counter. "See you, Lizzie."

"Later, Carly."

Jason's eyes followed her out the door and watched as she walked past the window and out of sight. He wasn't quite sure what had happened. Carly believed that she loved Sonny now. From what he knew his best friend hated her. Jason moved to the door. He couldn't let Carly be hurt again. He had to talk sense into her.

"I suggest you leave them be."

He stopped at the sound of Elizabeth's voice. "What?"

"You don't know what's going on, Jason. Just let it alone."

"She's going to get hurt."

"No. You hurt her, Jason. Sonny won't."

Jason cocked his head, anger flashing into his eyes. "How the hell do you know that?"

"Because I have two working eyes, bonehead. I see the way he looks at her. He loves her Jason. I think he has for a long time."

Jason shook his head. "He can't love her. She drives him crazy."

"That's why he loves her. Because she makes him feel...alive, I guess. I don't presume to know anything about Sonny and Carly. All I know is that Carly just admitted to loving Sonny and that Sonny obviously loves her."

"He does?" Jason asked.

Elizabeth stared at him, dumbfounded. "Were you always this stupid and I didn't notice, or is this a new thing?"

Larkin watched Carly walk out of Kelly's and make her way to the docks. He smirked before pulling his trench coat tighter around him and silently following the beautiful blonde.

Executing his plan would be easier than he thought. Corinthos was too confident and letting his guard on his girlfriend slip. He shook his head as she cut through a dark alley. The girl was either really brave or just dumb as a post. He still wasn't too sure which one it was.

He continued his stalking, taking note of the places she visited and the people she spoke to. She ducked into a nearby building and he cursed under his breath when he realized it was the bar run by her uncle.

He couldn't take the chance that she recognized him and told Corinthos. Then everything would go to shit.

It was best to bide what little time he had and make sure her disappearance was quick and clean.

Glancing around to make sure no one was following, he hailed a nearby taxi, staring at the doorway she'd entered before slipping into the cab. "Port Charles Motel."

He would make his move soon. Very soon.

Hours later...

Carly stepped off the elevator, her hand reaching to her neck to massage the kinks away. She'd had a day from hell and all she wanted was to get home, see her son and her Sonny, and just relax. She should have known her fight with Jason that morning was going to be just the beginning of a bad day.

Well not all bad...

She'd admitted to herself and all of Kelly's that she loved Sonny. No one was more surprised by her declaration than she was. But it felt right. She froze in place, staring at the closed door intently. How the hell was she going to face him now that she knew how she felt?

She took two steps away from the entrance, peering around the hallway for an escape. Maybe she could go to her mother's for a little while. She hadn't spoken to Bobbie in ages, and if anyone could help her with all the jumbled and confused feelings she was having it was her mother.

The door opened quickly and she stepped out of the line of sight. She heard the soft click that indicated it had been shut, and after a moment she heard Francis' voice call out to her.

"Are you going to go in anytime tonight, Ms. Benson?"

Carly closed her eyes, feeling the heat rise in her face. It was pathetic enough that she was afraid to go into her own house. Having one of the guards, even if it was a sweetie like Frankie, see her act this strange was just embarrassing. Taking a deep breath, she poked her head around the corner. "Hey there, Frankie."

"Hello, Ms. Benson." He glanced at her wrinkled and dusty clothes, mussed hair, and tired expression. "Um...did...are you all right?"

Carly stared at him in confusion and followed his pointed finger to her clothes. "Oh! Yeah. I'd forgotten I look like a bag lady."

"I wouldn't go that far, Ms. Benson." Francis held back a laugh at her doubtful expression. "Can I ask what happened?"

Carly made a face. "My uncle, that's what happened. I went to see the man about a job, you know. Nepotism and all that good stuff...or does that just apply with fathers and daughters...anyway, I want a part time job while I wait to start taking classes." She paused for a breath and Francis allowed his smile to peek out. She sounded so proud when she'd said that.

"So I ask my dear uncle if he would like to be a better human being and give his flesh and blood a chance to make some money. He tells me if I can prove that I had it in me to work at a club like Luke's he'd hire me. Of course I didn't mention I'd been bartending since I was 16. But see that was silly me cause I had assumed he wanted me to make him some drinks. Something along those lines." She leaned against the wall folding her arms across her chest. "BUT nooooo... bastardo tio of mine had a different plan. He made me clean out his basement. Have you ever been down there, Francis?" She didn't wait for a response. "Of course you haven't. It's a dungeon. I've never seen so many spiders in one place in my life!"

Francis stared in awe. He'd never met anyone who talked as much as Carly could.

Carly shook her head, dust falling from her hair. "But I showed him. I cleaned his stupid basement and he had to give me a job. Of course I made a few changes to the bottles in his wine cellar. You know, if you're patient enough, those labels are quite easy to peel off." She grinned widely at Francis. "Now I am fully employed at Luke's." She closed her mouth with a snap. "Oh man. You didn't want to hear all that."

"It's okay, Ms. Benson."

"Carly, Frankie. Remember? Anyway, you didn't need to hear about my whole miserable day." She pushed herself off the wall and stood in front of the door. "Thanks for listening, though. I just want to hide under my covers. This day is a total write off."

Francis smiled over at her, reaching for the door. "You never know. It could still turn out to be a good day." He opened the door wide for her to enter.

Carly laughed softly. "Doubt it. I..." Her words stuck in her throat when she glanced into the room. "Oh...my."

Candlelight glowed warmly in the dimmed room, and a lit fire gave the room an intimate feel. Carly's eyes fell to the set table and she smiled. She glanced at Francis, who winked as he closed the door, leaving her standing in shocked awe.

Walking over to the table, she caressed the surface softly. She was going to cry. She knew it.

"How was your day?"

She smiled at the teasing note in his voice and turned to reply. Her mind halted to a stop. She'd forgotten how good he looked in a tux. "Wow."

Sonny dimpled, spreading his arms out. "I take it you like."

Carly nodded, grinning. "I like."

"Good." He noticed her appearance and fought a smile. "What happened?"

Carly groaned. "Long story. Let's just say I'm having a bad day."

Sonny gently brushed her hair away from her forehead. He leaned in and kissed her forehead softly. "Maybe I can make it better." He opened his arms, inviting her into his warmth.

Carly stepped into his arms and smiled against his shoulder. "Maybe you can."