If Only...
Chapter 17
Carly sighed and leaned back from Sonny's embrace. His arms held her at the waist lightly and he reached up with his hand to brush her hair away from her shoulder. He stared at her, motioning to the table behind them. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful. I love it."
His eyes lit up at her compliment and Carly smiled up at him, softly pinching his cheek. "What's the occasion, anyway?"
Sonny grinned, covering her hand with his, and he brought their joined hands to his side. "Do I need a reason to do something nice for you?" He tilted his head, his eyes falling to her mouth and back to her eyes.
"Nooo. But, you know, this isn't exactly common with you."
"What? Dinner?"
She slapped at his chest playfully, resting her hands on his waist and holding back a shudder as his gently stroked her back. She couldn't think straight when he was so close. Her eyes closed involuntarily and she missed the flash of desire cross Sonny's face.
Damn, she was beautiful. It hurt to look at her sometimes, he thought, as he tamped down his sudden need to taste her. Easy does it, Corinthos. He didn't want to scare her away and he knew if he pushed he would. He wanted her to be open to him tonight. Open to what he had to say to her. He knew if he forced her to go too fast she'd run away.
Sonny pulled away, keeping his hand on her waist as an anchor. "Like I said, I just wanted to do something nice for you."
Carly smiled softly at him, her hand reaching out to touch his hair. "Well, thank you." She glanced down at her clothes. "Um...maybe I should take a quick jump in the shower and change." She eyed his tuxedo and flinched. "No maybe about it."
Sonny released his hold on her reluctantly, taking two steps back. Her mention of a shower brought images to his head that were better off ignored. "You look beautiful to me."
Looking down at herself, then back at him, she smirked, her hands crossed at her chest. "You've got me, Corinthos. No need to use that charm here." He threw her an annoyed look before turning back to the table.
"I'm just stating the truth, Benson. But if you want to change, I'll wait."
Carly blinked, not sure what she had said that had made him react that way. "Okay. Well, I'll be down in a jiff." She ignored his snort of disbelief and ran up the stairs.
Sonny waited until the sounds had faded and turned to the door, pulling it open sharply. "You got everything, right?"
Francis nodded, hiding his grin at seeing his boss in such a state of nervousness. "Yeah. And Johnny just checked in. He said that Michael is happy playing with Lucas, and Leticia is thrilled to get to spend the night at the Port Charles Hotel." Francis looked thoughtful. "Come to think of it, he sounded a little happy about that too."
Sonny raised an eyebrow and stared at his bodyguard. "Johnny...and Leticia?"
Francis raised his hands up. "I didn't say that."
The elevator doors opened and Adam stepped out. Sonny watched Francis' face lit up suddenly and he blinked. Shaking his head, he decided he'd rather not know. Adam held a bag out to Sonny and, with a quick glance and smile at Francis he took his position near the door, not saying a word.
Sonny smirled at Francis who simply looked back at him. "What?"
"Nothing." Sonny studied the contents in the bag and smiled in satisfaction. "Good job, Adam."
"Thank you, sir."
He looked up at the two bodyguards. "Unless it's an emergency with Michael, I don't want any interruptions." His eyes went from one to the other. "No one, and I mean NO ONE, gets in here tonight. Got that?"
Two amused stares met his and Sonny shut the door quickly on them. God knew he had to love this woman to risk ridicule from his men. He looked past the stairs as he moved to the couch. He rubbed at his neck trying to loosen the tension there. She would have reached her room before no-…
"Oh!"
He heard the delighted, if muffled, yelp and smiled, feeling the tension dissipate as he did.
From the sounds of it, tonight was off on the right foot.
Carly stared at the mound of red material spread out on her bed and approached it slowly. She had been so shocked to see it that she'd let out a happy yell. Reaching the bed, she pulled the glittering mass of crimson into her hands, feeling the soft satin material beneath her fingers.
She grinned and turned to the mirror, holding the dress up to her body. It fell to just below her knees. On the right side, a slit cut up to below her thigh kept the dress from being too demure. The shoulder straps were an inch of cloth and the bodice fell into a V at her chest.
Classy, yet sexy. Just like the man who'd picked it.
Smiling, she looked at the floor and found a matching pair of shoes at the foot of the bed. Shaking her head, she gathered them up and her eyes caught the glint of white on her nightstand. Gently placing the dress and shoes on her bed, she walked over to it.
Her heart thumped in her chest seeing the jewelry box with the Wyndhams insignia adorning it. There was a small slip of paper lying next to it with her name scribbled across it in Sonny's writing. She opened it slowly, smiling as she read.
Saw this and thought of you. S.
Snapping the box open, she gasped, staring at the small diamond earrings and matching necklace. Her head felt light and the room began to spin. It was too much. Taking a step to her bed, she plopped down of the peach comforter trying to understand what was happening. Why would he do this for her?
"Carly?" he said her name softly.
Carly had held herself together, not allowing any of her fear or pain to show. She just wanted to hide away and the best way she knew how was to stop feeling. She wanted to be numb. But then she heard Sonny's voice say her name so gently, she felt the barriers break and the tears begin to fall.
Sonny watched her shaking shoulders and heard her heaving sobs. They tore at his heart and he moved closer to her. He pulled her into his arms on reflex and smoothed her hair back from her face, "It's alright, honey." Her crying became louder and she started shaking uncontrollably. He pulled her into his lap, one hand at the small of her back, the other still stroking her hair. Her sobs turned into small hiccupping noises and the shaking subsided but they stayed that way until they reached Harborview Towers.
When the car stopped, Carly turned her face up to Sonny, and he gently wiped the moisture from her eyes. She looked away quickly but stayed on his lap. He stared down at the top of her head.
"I'm sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about."
Tears filled her eyes as memories of him flashed across her mind. He was always taking care of her... Ever since that night, something had changed for them.
Carly's breath caught in her throat when Sonny made his way to her side. He sat on the edge of the bed, tugging at her arm. Carly let him pull her up on the bed. They sat facing each other, his hand coming to trace the bruises on face. Memories of his mother rushed into his head and he felt that same impotent rage now that he did then. He couldn't do anything to make it go away. Taking a few strands of her hair in his fingers, he let it sift through them slowly. "I'm sorry."
Carly looked at him in surprise, not sure what he was talking about. "For what?"
"For not being able to help."
She shook her head, the hair falling over her face. "No. Sonny this isn't your fault. It's my own." She looked up at him and reached out to touch his face. Memories of the night of his breakdown came back and he felt that same pull to her now he had then. He began to move closer, his eyes falling to her lips. Carly leaned in, the strange craving that he always ignited taking over.
He'd rearranged his entire life for her and her son. For no other reason than because she had asked him to.
"I know what you're doing, Corinthos, and it's not going to work."
"What am I doing?"
"You're trying to make me angry so I won't want to stay here. It's not going to happen for two reasons."
"Which are?"
"One. I've made up my mind and once that's done, no going back."
"Uh-huh. And two?"
"I can't really stay angry with you."
"Since when?"
"Well, since you started flashing those dimples my way. I'm a sucker for dimples." She winked at him, leaning back against his desk. "But don't tell anyone I said that."
Sonny barked out a laugh. "You are going to be the death of me, Benson."
"I hope not." Carly made her way to his side. She placed her head on his shoulder, looking up at him sweetly. "So is this a yes?"
Sonny stared at her for what seemed like hours. Carly bit her lip, waiting with bated breath for his response.
"I know I'm going to regret this..."
"Yay!" Carly clapped her hands together. "I knew you would do it."
No one had done that for her. Ever. His feelings for her were more than just friendship. They had to be. She knew she loved him, and maybe he loved her back.
Just maybe...
She stared at the door and, mustering up the courage, she rose to her feet and headed for the adjoining bathroom. There was one way to find out what Sonny felt.
And find out she was going to.
Sonny heard soft footsteps descend the stairs and turned to greet Carly. His heart tumbled over itself at the sight of her. The scarlet dress clung to her curves snugly, enticing him. He swallowed down the stark need to make her his, to claim and possess her. His want for her frightened him and he glanced away, fighting the turmoil in his mind.
Carly noticed his reaction and added it to all the rest in her head. He felt something more for her than she'd wanted to believe. Happiness fluttered in her stomach and she flickered a look at his profile, watching a muscle tick in his jaw. He was holding back.
Not wanting to push, she halted at the bottom of the steps.
"So you like?" She asked, twirling with a flourish.
Sonny gazed at her as she turned for his inspection. "Yeah. I like." His voice was deep and thick, the only evidence of his struggle. He cleared his throat and gestured toward the table. Lightening the mood, he wiggled his brow at her. "Are you ready for dinner, madam?"
Carly giggled nervously. "Yes, thank you. You may go now." She let a burst of laughter escape at Sonny's indignant glare and reached for her chair. His hand covered hers, sending a flare of longing through her body to her center.
"Let me." He pulled the chair out and she sat, feeling his fingers caress the back of her neck. Biting back a whimper, she breathed deeply.
Sonny watched her through hooded eyes, seeing her response to his touch. "Carly?"
She peeked up at him from under her lashes. "Yes?"
He shook his head, feeling the thumping of his heart double. "Um...how was your day?"
Coward.
Carly hid her disappointment and shrugged at his question. "It was all right. Luke gave me a job."
Sonny choked on his water. "What?"
Carly laughed at his appalled face. "Don't be so shocked, Sonny. I can get a job, you know."
He grinned at her. "You can do anything you put your mind to, Carly. I'm just a little surprised that you would go to Luke. Or that he would hire you."
Carly folded her hands in her lap and eyed him sharply. "Why is that?"
"Because you two hate each other," Sonny responded bluntly. "Not to mention that you're so much alike it'll be hell having to work with each other. You'll be butting heads so often that you'll be coming home with welts on your forehead."
Carly shook her head. "It'll be fine, Sonny. Trust me."
Sonny nodded. "Okay. So, you ready to see what's for dinner?"
Carly sat shell-shocked, nodding numbly. He hadn't hesitated for one second in trusting her to make this decision. He was simply going to support her and let her do what she thought was best. She watched as he pulled the top off the tray to reveal her favorite: double cheeseburger with everything and fries on the side.
Her joyful laugh ran through him and Sonny was glad he'd listened to his instincts. He met her eyes and smiled into them. "Bon appetit."
Elizabeth locked the door to Kelly's soundly, sighing in relief. It had taken that last customer forever to leave and God knew all she wanted was to go home, bury her head in her pillow and sleep. Surveying the mess in the room, she knew that wasn't going to happen for a few hours.
Grabbing a nearby tray, she began to systematically clear tables and her mind went into autopilot. This was familiar. Easy. Almost a comfort.
It hadn't always been that way. She'd been a terrible waitress when she'd started. Probably the worst anyone had ever seen. But her need to be near Lucky had won out over the embarrassment of broken dishes and Ruby's constant scolding. She ached for those moments, would give anything to have Lucky with her.
Dreams of him still filled her head nightly and she found that she missed him more as time passed, not less. But recently her mind and thoughts had wandered to someone else. Someone just as unavailable as Lucky was to her.
Loud knocking pulled her from her thoughts and she turned, seeing the beautiful angular face through the window. She rubbed her temples, contemplating whether to open the door or leave him standing out there.
"Elizabeth. Let me in, please."
Shaking her head, and knowing she would regret it, she walked to the door, turning the lock and letting him slip through before closing it once more. Ignoring him, she went back to the table she'd been working on.
If he wanted to talk, he was going to have to start.
"I'm sorry."
She paused in her actions and glanced behind her. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Jason."
"And I will tell Carly AND Sonny how sorry I am for being a..."
"Jackass?"
Jason smiled at her back. "Yeah. But they're not the only ones I hurt."
"You don't have to, Jason. You don't owe me anything."
"Yes, I think I do."
Elizabeth shrugged. "I'm fine, Jason. I mean, yeah, it stings a little that you don't value what I think. But it has to hurt Carly, and probably Sonny, a hell of a lot more than it does me to have you acting this way."
A deep sigh emanated from Jason and he pulled out a chair, settling down into it. "I don't know what the hell got into me."
Elizabeth walked to the counter, placing the tray on it, before turning to lean against the side. "What was that all about, Jason?"
He shrugged. "A lot of things, I guess. I've seen this thing between Sonny and Carly coming for a long time. I'm not blind, even if everyone wants to believe I am."
She listened silently, nodding to encourage him to continue.
"But I always thought that one day my feelings for Carly would change and I'd be what she wanted. Or that she would be satisfied with my feelings for her."
"Don't you think that's a little selfish?"
Jason stared at her from across the room. "Yes, I do. But it's how I felt." He rose from his chair. "I love Carly, and knowing she's in love with Sonny makes me ache a little."
Elizabeth crossed her arms and studied him. "You can't choose who people will love, Jason. You love who you love."
Jason held his hand up. "Let me finish. After I left here this morning, still hurting from Carly's confession and your...insults, I took off. Rode all day and ended up on the bridge that Robin and I used to call our place."
Elizabeth suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at the mention of the little ninny. God knew she couldn't stand the saccharine princess.
Jason watched as dislike flickered across her face and almost laughed. Robin didn't seem to have many fans in Port Charles. "Anyway, sitting there made me realize that it wasn't jealousy over Carly and Sonny, really. More over the fact that they had found each other. Through all the messes in their lives, all the pain and lies, they'd been blessed with one another. I'm jealous of that."
Elizabeth hid her shock well. "You're jealous of what they have, not of them. Is what you're saying?"
Jason nodded, piercing blue eyes boring into hers. "You could say that. I would say I envy them the ability to open up that way."
Her eyes followed his form as he strode toward her slowly. Gulping back panic, she clenched the counter under her fingers. "Why?"
He was mere inches away and she had to stare up at him, focusing on his lips before returning to his eyes. Her breath caught slightly, and he leaned down to brush his lips against hers. "Because I've been trying to let you in for a long time and I've been too scared to do it."
Elizabeth breathed in his scent, her head swimming. "What's stopping you, Jason?" She wound her hands in his hair and tugged gently. "Take a chance."
His lips met hers with a fervent passion, the world around them falling, disappearing.
Oblivious to everything around them. To the eyes that watched them from the shadows...
"Mmmmm."
Sonny leaned back, watching Carly take the last bite of her dinner, and bit back a groan as she licked her fingers, her eyes closing in ecstasy. He shifted in his seat, his desire rigid and throbbing. How the hell could watching her eat make him hard? He felt like a teenager again, unable to control his body or emotions.
Dinner had been a lesson in slow torture for him. Every movement she made seemed threaded with sensuality. He'd observed her as she ate and spoke about her day. His eyes would fall to her legs as she'd cross and uncross them languidly. Up to her hands as they accompanied her words, moving swiftly through the air. Her tongue wetting her lips, making them glisten and tempting him like nothing else could.
It was a wonder he hadn't embarrassed himself yet.
And, through it all, she was oblivious to his reactions.
She licked her lips again and he almost doubled in pain. "Shit."
The curse escaped his lips and he found Carly's eyes on him. She frowned, worry creasing her brow. "Sonny, are you okay?" She leaned over and ran her hand up his arm gently. His face was flushed, and it reaffirmed her belief that something was off.
She'd been watching him through dinner, finding it hard not to give in to the need to feel his skin with hers. He'd taken his jacket off before dinner, rolling his sleeves and revealing dark, muscular arms. She'd had to take a bite of dinner to muffle the strangled groan that came from her lips. When he'd licked his lips before taking a sip of wine, she'd thought she would faint from the heat that rose in her.
She'd never been so jealous of glassware.
He was too tempting for words and, damn it, she'd never wanted to sin so badly in her life.
He fought back a shiver, tamping down the fire that roared in him from her touch. Controlling his breathing, he closed his hand over hers, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles before letting it go and beginning to clear the table.
Carly rose up and reached for the plates. "Let me do that, Sonny."
He shook his head. "I don't mind."
Carly's eyes pleaded with him silently and he relented, telling her to rinse the dishes and leave them in the washer. She nodded and he caught the flash of laughter in her eyes. She was mocking him in her head.
He watched her disappear into the kitchen before he stood up and paced the floor, stopping by the windows to stare into the dark night. The urge to run out onto the balcony was overwhelming. He needed to breath in air, to push away the clamp that was surrounding his chest.
Carly walked silently out of the kitchen, pausing at the doorway as she took in Sonny's form. He was looking out over the harbor as he always did when he was thinking...or nervous.
He sensed her behind him and turned, dimples at the ready. "That was quick." He motioned to the couch and she followed him. She knew he needed to control the situation. Especially when he felt he was losing power.
She could understand. It had taken every fiber in her not to run past him and up the stairs just then.
They sat across from each other and let an awkward silence fall between them.
Sonny took a deep breath as his eyes scanned the room, falling on the stereo, and he turned to her intensely. "Do you want to dance?" The words tripped from his mouth before his brain could register what he was saying. Dancing meant holding...closeness...touching...
He almost took the suggestion back but noticed the light that shone in her eyes and snapped his mouth shut.
"I'd love to."
Moving to the stereo, he pressed play hoping and dreading that the song was a slow one. Soft, melodic notes filled the air and he turned to her, extending his hand.
It was just a dance.
Be careful with my heart
You could break it
Don't take my love for granted
Things could change
She took it firmly, almost timidly, and he watched her as their bodies closed in. One hand touched his shoulder, the other held in his, and she pressed her warmth against him. Closing his eyes, he swayed to the music, letting it flow over him, losing himself in her scent...his need...their bond...
Sometimes I go insane
I played the fool and you'll agree
I'll never be the same
Without you here with me
Her cheek rubbed softly against his shirt, heat soaking into her skin. It felt right to be there. It always did. Sonny's hands tightened and he pulled her closer, their lower halves pressed together. They swayed to the music as one, always in sync. She breathed in, the heady smell of his skin and cologne surrounding her.
"Sonny?"
Cuidado (please be careful)
con mi corazon
Me siento algo desnudo
Cuidado (please be careful)
es mi corazon
Mi corazon
He leaned back slightly to stare into her face and froze, seeing himself reflected in her eyes. She wanted him and she wasn't hiding it.
Carly smiled timidly at him. "Kiss me."
"What?"
She didn't respond, raising on her toes and crushing his mouth with hers.
Be careful with my heart
You could break it
Don't take my love for granted
Things could change
It took his mind a moment to wrap around the fact that Carly had practically jumped him. His hands stayed motionless at his side before a burst of need kicked him into gear. Grabbing her face in his hands, he assumed control and slanted his mouth over hers.
Panting breaths escaped their lips only to be swallowed into each other. His hand roamed her back...her shoulder...her waist... He pulled back to look at her, tenderly kissing one closed eye, then the other. He felt a shiver run through her body and the last bit of his control snapped.
Sometimes I go insane
I played the fool and you'll agree
I'll never be the same
Without you here with me
Carly felt her feet leave the ground and she realized Sonny was carrying her toward the couch. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled away, dropping her head back.
His lips brushed against her throat, placing kisses down to the fleshy mounds that peeked over her dress. They brushed over the material that covered her flushed peaks and she moaned loudly.
Cuidado (please be careful)
con mi corazon,
Cariño no me lastimes
Cuidado (please be careful)
es mi corazon
Mi corazon
He could hear the humming in her throat. Feel the energy that ran through her body. It burned his hands as he touched every part of her he could reach. He flipped her onto the couch, lost in the heat...the taste of her skin...
She whimpered for a moment, almost in fright, and it halted him. He pulled back to look into her eyes. He could see the need...wanting...but he detected a trace of fear...uncertainty, and it was like a bucket of cold water. He wanted her more than anything. So much that he'd lost his mind in his need. Scared her with it.
If I could reach out to you
Nothing will stop me
Take your head in my hands
Tell me what would you do
"Wait...wait...wait..."
"Sonny?"
Carly straightened up, pulling her dress down and touching his face slowly. "Is something wrong?"
Sonny shook his head, breathing raggedly, grappling with his emotions and urgency to touch her. "Hold on. Give me a minute."
Carly paused, her hand in the air between them. "Did I do something wrong?"
Hurt laced her question and he turned to gaze at her. "Oh, baby...no. You didn't..." He ran his hands through his hair, attempting to find the right words to explain what had just happened. "I'm not good with words, Carly, but I'm going to try, okay?'
She nodded, her eyes tracing his face. She glanced down as he took her hand and kissed it softly.
"I want you...more than anything in the world..."
Carly touched his face. "I want you too."
He shook his head as he returned her caress. "But you're afraid. I scared you."
"Sonny..."
"The truth, Carly, come on."
She couldn't deny that in that moment when he'd thrown her on her back, she'd glimpsed raw, almost pained need in his face, and it had sent a stab of fear through her. No one had ever looked at her that way.
"Did I scare you?"
She nodded, whispering. "A little."
Kiss your eyes, sing you to sleep
Your voice sounds like a lullaby
Here's my heart, this time to keep
Here's my heart to keep
He turned his body to hers, stroking her hair as he pulled her closer. "See, I don't want to do that. When we're together for the first time, I want you to have no doubts. No fears."
Carly shook her head. "I wasn't afraid of you, Sonny."
He stared at her face before looking away. She caught the hesitation in him and almost smiled. "Sonny, are you scared?"
He sent her a wry glance. "I'm terrified, actually." He laughed dryly. "I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you and that's...a scary thing." He held her hands, lacing and unlacing their fingers as he spoke. "I don't wanna screw this up, Carly."
She watched his face as he concentrated on their joined hands. "What do you mean?"
Sonny shrugged, trying to appear relaxed, unfazed, but she could see through him. He really was scared out of his mind.
"This is the best thing that's happened to me...probably in my whole life, you know? You're everything I've ever wanted." He met her eyes. "I want you to be sure about this." He pointed between them. "About us."
She sat speechless, the conviction in his voice shaking her to the core. Was this what it felt like to be loved? To be wanted more than anything?
If it wasn't, she was fearful to find out what that felt like.
Cuidado (please be careful)
con mi corazon,
Cariño no me lastimes
Cuidado (please be careful)
es mi corazon
Mi corazon
She pulled her hands out from his grasp, bringing one to stroke the hair around his ear. "What do you want?"
Sonny smiled at her. "I can't believe what I'm going to say. I think we should take it slow. Especially with...this." He brushed his fingers across her bruised lips. "I want you to be sure that you're ready for all this."
"All this?"
Sonny pierced her eyes with his, the deep brown darkening to black as he spoke. "I want you to believe and want this to be a sure thing. This is it for me, Carly, but is it the same for you?"
His words gripped her heart and she held back her sob of joy. No words seemed to be able to come from her mouth, so Sonny finished what he had to say. "You and me...we're forever. I want to know that you believe in that. In us. I want to wait until you're sure."
Carly nodded. "Okay."
Sonny eyed her. "Really?"
She laughed. "Jeez, Sonny, I'm not a sex-starved raving lunatic."
He laughed with her and pulled into his arms. "Whenever you're ready."
Carly smiled into his shoulder and nodded. She rose to her feet and pulled him up with her. "Walk me to my door, Mr. Corinthos?"
Be careful with my heart
You could break it
Don't take my love for granted
Things could change
He slipped his hands around her waist, smiling at the tremble that ran through her. "Lead the way, Ms. Benson."
He followed as she ascended to the floor above, his eyes straying to the small movement her backside made, the dress clinging to it softly. Sonny closed his eyes and strengthened his resolution. He only wanted her when she was ready to take all of him. Mind, body and soul. He glanced down again and remembered the last time they'd been in this position.
But she didn't turn to face him at the top of the steps. Instead, she led the way to her room. Opening the door, she turned to see him standing a few feet from her. "Thank you, Sonny."
"We never even got to the good stuff."
Carly smiled devilishly. "That wasn't the good stuff!?"
His laughter rumbled in his chest and he leaned in, kissing her slowly, nibbling gently and pulling away when he felt the whirling of desire begin. "We'll talk about that tomorrow."
She smiled again, stealing one last quick kiss as she slipped into her room.
Leaning his head against the hard wood, Sonny let out a frustrated sigh. When the hell had love become so complicated?
On the opposite side, Carly held her hand to the door, feeling his presence there. Listening to his footsteps fade slowly, she moved away toward the center of the room, her eyes falling on her dresser then back to the door.
She believed in them, in him. She believed in forever. And she was going to show him just how much...
Cuidado (please be careful)
con mi corazon,
Cariño no me lastimes
Cuidado (please be careful)
es mi corazon
Mi corazon
Lyrics: Be Careful (Cuidado Con Mi Corazon), performed by Ricky Martin with Madonna