Chapter 25
Hi again! Sorry that I've been away for so long! Switzerland is awesome, and they have the best chocolate there! Also, I'm sorry about how horrible the last chapter was. It was literally the worst thing I have ever written, and I'm sorry about that. But enough with apologies! On with the story!
Also, what do you guys think about the Cullen casting, and all the people in Forks and etc.? Does anyone else think that the Rose casting is really bad? Or is that just me?
I also kinda changed the first chapter up a bit, just because it was really bad. Just thought I'd let you guys now. It's still pretty bad, though.
Because I made you guys wait so long, this chapter is longer then it's supposed to be. I also added something that wasn't even supposed to be in this story at all, which is gonna make the story longer!
Don't own anything! That honor is Stephenie's and hers alone!
Previously;
The silence was too big to be held in for a minute. It pounded against my ears, making an uncomfortable silence. Then, Edward dropped the gun and rushed over to me and held me close.
"It's over," He whispered. And it was. Victoria was gone, Vicki was with the Volturi, and things seemed perfect. And now I was back to where I thought I would never be again, back in Edward's arms.
BPOV
"Edward, I'm so sorry!" I whispered. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Cullens slowly try and walk away, each with their mates. Very subtly giving us some privacy, I assumed, just like that first day when I was still human. I saw them all run off at vampire speed, and I realized that we had no car because we had taken Jeremy's, and I'm sure none of them would like to drive in his car now.
I realized that I was almost to my breaking point and I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. He was too good for me; I had known that already. He thought I didn't love him anymore, but he still tried to save me. Now it was probably too late, he wouldn't want to take me back now, I had put him through so much already. Why would he want to be with me now? I had almost killed his whole family. I had always known that I didn't deserve him; now this was the final proof.
If I were human, I would have been crying. I think that Edward realized this, because he was comforting me. Why was he doing that? It was all my fault anyway, and he knew that. He should hate me. "Shh, Bella, calm down. Everything's okay."
"No, it's not." I sniffed, and took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "I almost killed you and your family. And now Jeremy's dead, and everything's my fault!" I pulled away from him and turned to face him.
"Bella, nothing is your fault! Don't worry; no one blames you for anything. It's not your fault! Where did you get that idea from, anyway?" He looked into my eyes, trying to pull out what I was thinking, since he couldn't read my mind.
I looked away. "What do you mean, it wasn't my fault? Of course it was! If I hadn't been here, Victoria wouldn't have come here and she wouldn't have almost killed everyone!"
Edward sighed, as if I was missing something. "Bella, are you forgetting that if it wasn't for me, Victoria wouldn't have even known you? Everything that has happened, it's all been my fault! If I had never tried to be so close to you, you would have never had to be put through any of this. It's all my fault, every part of it. It's my fault that James almost killed you. My fault that Victoria has been chasing you for 90 years, trying to kill you. It's my fault that I left you alone this whole time, while a deranged vampire was stalking you. It's my fault that you've been changed…into one of us. Everything that happened…it was my fault."
His words had been rushed until the end, where his voice suddenly trailed off. I could see a disbelieving look cross his face. And I could tell that he had not realized how true his words were until he spoke them.
He rushed outside to the forest, and sat down with his back against a tree trunk. "It's my fault. It's my fault," He kept repeating over and over again under his breath. His eyes were dead, like he couldn't believe that it was his fault that everything had happened to me.
I couldn't stand seeing him like this. "Edward!" I walked over and shook him, hard enough to make him stand up, facing me. "None of this is your fault! You can't just go blaming yourself for everything that happens to me. Nothing is your fault!" He looked at me; his beautiful eyes open wide with shock like he was surprised to find in my eyes that I wasn't lying. "It's all my fault! The only thing that you did…" I made my voice soften, causing to look up at me; as before his eyes were on the ground, studying the grass. "Was you fell in love."
He smiled my favorite crooked smile that I loved. "Well, you have that part right." I smiled back at him. "I know this was my fault, Bella." My smile turned to a frown. "But I'm not going to do that again," He explained, talking about that minor breakdown he had just had.
"I'm never going to be able to make up for all of this, but I'll never stop trying anyway." (Copied from either NM or EC, not sure which) He smiled, as if knowing what he was going to do.
"Okay. But will you forgive me?" I asked, glad that he wasn't going to beat himself up anymore.
"For what?" He asked, confused.
"For not telling you. And for leaving." I explained.
"I know it wasn't your choice, Bella. Alice explained everything."
"But still. I left you." I was ashamed to admit it, so I couldn't meet his eyes.
"But you didn't want to, right?" He asked. I nodded. "And you do still love me, right?"
I nodded again. "Just checking," He grinned really wide and I knew that he had forced himself to believe that foolish lie for so long, that he loved to hear the truth now. His smile was so wide and glorious and…perfect that I could not look away and instead responded with a huge smile of my own.
"Then there is something that I want to do…again. I had a feeling I might need this."
Still with that huge smile on his face, he got down on one knee.