"I've got all the time in the world..."
As she said those words, he realized that there was something there for her that he had always felt. Something he struggled to prevent when they were separated in their childhood years. He yearned to forget that she was his only friend when his parents and his brother were away from their home, yearned to forget that when he was young, he did believe that he loved her – in that naïve way.
But when she said those words – those caring words – he couldn't help but finally realize, or perhaps accept, that there was still something there after all those years. Yet he found some sort of barrier, something about her that made him skeptical of realizing that there was in fact something there.
And without a second thought, he knew.
He knew that the little Sakura from their childhood days was yearning to be set free, yearning to be released from a mask!
Was that thing there strong enough – and important enough – to try and pry that Sakura out of the mask?
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Pressure Points
Chapter 7 – vulnerability
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
A/N: I am SOOO sorry for not updating! ;-;
Warning: There is cutting in this chapter. It isn't too graphic but I just thought a warning would be a good idea. XD
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"Well, you remember my father, don't you?" Sasuke began, uncomfortably gazing up at Sakura's ceiling, attempting to hide the annoying throb in his head.
"Yes. He had eyes like yours whenever he visited my dad. I remember getting scared," Sakura said, allowing a sheepish smile to escape her lips. "And then you always told me that it was nothing to get scared about; that those eyes helped save people."
Sasuke smirked.
"Not like you ever believed me until earlier, though. Those eyes are named Sharingan. They are extra sensitive and can pick up movements and such that are taking place within the body. For some reason, only my family possesses these traits. When we finally got around to researching as to why we inherited such a gift, we learned that it's a recessive gene. It takes an incredibly large amount of time to master. At first, it's only a minimal gift, allowing us to remember a lot of the techniques that we have experienced, and gives us the ability to perfectly mimic them in future surgeries. When the ability grows upon us and we have nearly mastered it, we are able to see tiny movements under the skin, which, when we apply our medical expertise to the situation, allows us to diagnose the client and, in certain circumstances, save them. I'm aware that you know Hyuuga Hinata?"
Sakura, spellbound by the amount of information, and how something so extreme and so magical existed in the world, merely nodded.
"Her family, the Hyuuga, also have a similar ability. While the Uchiha line possesses the Sharingan, the Hyuuga possess an ability that is named Byakugan. This allows them to completely see the inside of the client's body, which makes them perfect analysts and surgeons and whatnot. While the Sharingan can pick up the tiny movements beneath the skin, we are outshined by the Byakugan since we are unable to completely see the insides of the body."
"I didn't know such a thing existed. But if you mastered it already – which I assume, because you seemed to know what was happening in Y – Yuri's body – then why did she tell me that it hurt you?"
At this, an uncomfortable silence loomed between the two friends, Sasuke shifting and closing his eyes. Sakura patiently waited, changing the wet cloth on his head in the process.
"I'm sorry," Sakura said, breaking the silence. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
She smiled when she was met with his mysterious, onyx eyes once more. She was mesmerized by them, unable to look away as if they were purposely made to hold her attention and her soul.
It's unfair. He wants me to change, but –
"Orochimaru."
Her eyebrow rose at his quick, darkly muttered reply.
"Orochimaru?"
Sasuke bitterly smirked and turned away from her gaze, his fists clenching as he struggled to maintain his temper.
"He was a colleague of Tsunade and my father. He's my father multiplied a thousand times over. He is the greediest man in the entire universe. Consequently, he was the researcher that found that the Sharingan was a recessive trait. After he found of its abilities, he became power-hungry and tried his hardest to get one of us and cut our eyes out so they could be his."
"That's – that's horrible," The Haruno said, shivering at the thought of such a despicable man existing.
"His plans were foiled when the bastard Itachi killed off most of our family. After that, he ran into hiding, too scared to face my father and mother, I assume. Orochimaru disappeared for a bit, most likely to try and get the emotionally instable Itachi to give up the Sharingan. During that time, my father took me back from the orphanage, begging me to come back."
There was silence as Sasuke shifted to his side, no longer facing Sakura.
"And then he found me," the Uchiha bitterly said, resisting the urge to punch a hole through Sakura's dorm wall.
"And what did he do to you?" Sakura softly said.
Without a word, Sasuke lowered the collar of his shirt, exposing the bottom part of his neck. Sakura saw a tattoo-like mark there, which was almost eerie to her. Silently, her delicate fingers reached out and traced the mark, tears beginning to brim at her eyes.
"Is this why it hurts?" She managed to ask, her voice beginning to tremble with her tears.
"Yes."
"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun," Sakura whispered, a tiny stream of tears spilling from her eyes.
Sasuke offered a tiny smile.
"It's not your fault. You don't have to cry, Sakura."
Without another word, he quietly wiped away her tears with his thumb, a smile present on his lips all the while, and lay back down onto her bed and closed his eyes.
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Sakura quietly typed her latest assignment on her laptop, her eyes beginning to droop with fatigue and boredom. She cursed her professor for assigning her, the only one in the class who had to do it, an essay about the heart, the diseases it is associated with, the many procedures to help keep the heart beating, and many more medical information and statistics, because she had missed his class to try and help save a life – but had failed to do so.
Occasionally, she turned in her chair to watch the sleeping Uchiha in her bed for a few moments to make sure he was still alive, before turning back to her assignment. She became increasingly worried as the night wore on, him still sleeping through it without the slightest movement.
"Sakura, open up this door."
Sakura jumped at the sudden knocking at her door, her lips forming a large frown when she heard the familiar voice drift through her walls.
Hata Suzu.
She groaned at the thought of her stepmother visiting her in school, because she hated her stepmother more than anything else in the universe. Furthermore, with Sasuke sleeping in her bed, she was sure that her stepmother would never cease to bother her about it and continue to pester about "abstinence".
"I'm not standing out here all day, you brat!"
Clenching her fists and putting on a very forced smile on her lips, she walked to the door and forcefully opened it, met with the pleasantly sarcastic face of Hata Suzu, whom she was forced to call "Mother".
Hata Suzu was not a beautiful woman, inside or out. Her face was constantly covered in heavy makeup, her skin so wrinkled and damaged from the products that without makeup she would be despicable. Her heart was a black, twisted heart, playing men and tricking people for their fortunes.
Sakura knew this. She knew that she had only married her father for his enormous fortune. And now that the Haruno Satoshi, one and only father to Haruno Sakura, was dead, Suzu was sure to steal every penny of the fortune and leave nothing for Sakura.
"What do you want? I called you a million times and you didn't answer, so this better be freaking good," Sakura growled, resisting her urge to slam the door in Suzu's face and speed home to find her father's will.
"Is that the way to treat your mother, good-for-nothing girl? Honestly. Have you ever thought that I was busy arranging your father a proper funeral? Honestly. That cost me tons!"
"You held Father's funeral without me?!" Sakura screamed, earning angry mumbles from the students on the same floor, and successfully stirring Uchiha Sasuke from his sleep.
"Why, of course. You're just so busy – "
"Get the hell out of my dorm right now, you bitch," Sakura nastily said, pushing Suzu farther from the door for a successful slamming. "I swear – "
"Speak for yourself, you brat! Now that your father isn't here to spoil my plans, you have better silence yourself as well, you little princess. Or I assure you, you will have nothing left."
Sakura grinned.
"I will have friends. And my youthful face, you ugly, little, contorted hag."
And without another thought, Sakura slammed the door in Suzu's face. Quickly running to her bathroom, she quietly shut the door and fell onto the floor, tears streaming from her eyes as she struggled to remain silent. When her eyes wandered to her bathtub, the look of her razor just seemed so inviting...
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Sasuke worriedly sat up from his place on the bed, Sakura's quiet sobs finally penetrating through his sleeping stupor. Quickly getting out of his bed and standing before Sakura's bathroom door, he began to rattle her locked doorknob, attempting to open it. When her sobs grew louder and had suddenly grown quiet, he desperately began to shove the door open.
I don't understand why I'm so worried.
I can't trust anybody.
"Sakura! Open up the door, will you?" He finally asked, still trying to shove the door open.
"N-no! G – go away, Sasuke!"
He bit his lip, tons of possibilities and choices running through his mind.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"No," She bluntly said.
"Thanks for your honesty," he muttered.
Closing his eyes and taking deep breaths, one choice and possibility finally found gold in making his next imprint on life.
His eyes opened, and with a groan of pain, he finally kicked the door open.
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This would be the end of the chapter, but since I haven't updated in like, 3-4 months, here's a special 2-in-1 chapter!
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"Sakura, what the fuck are you doing?"
His crimson-red eyes were met with a tiny puddle of blood dripping from her thighs, her right-hand tightly gripping her razor as if it were her only lifeline. Her desperate, emerald eyes stared up at him like a three-year-old child caught in the act of stealing candy, tears still streaming from her eyes.
"You – your – "
"What the hell are you trying to do?"
Sasuke quickly rushed to her side, tearing away the razor from her grip and throwing it into her sink. Opening up her medicine cabinet, which he assumed to contain band-aids, gauze, disinfectants and anti-septic washes, he quickly muttered thanks to her doctor instincts and took out her gauze, band-aids, and disinfectant wash.
"W – wait – "
"Shut up, Sakura! I don't know why the hell you would fucking cut yourself, and I'll save that stupid question for later, but just shut up so you won't fucking bleed to death. Because it's scary knowing that you are a doctor and you are capable of knowing just how deep to cut to kill yourself!"
Never had Sakura seen Sasuke so desperate and angry. He expertly cleaned her self-inflicted wound and wrapped it to stop her bleeding. She remained quiet, scared that Sasuke would snap and lose himself and grow even angrier to her. Tears continued to stream from her eyes, her heart beginning to ache as it burned with her stupidity and imbecilic action to try and get out of her screwed-up life.
She let a patient die. And now her stepmother is threatening to take everything away from her. Her father, whom she would have gone for emotional support on how it felt to let a patient die, was dead, thereby taking away her only support and crutch in life.
She felt so alone. She felt so incredibly selfish to feel alone! And now she felt incredibly stupid to try such an idiotic escape to life.
"Stop crying, Sakura," Sasuke gently whispered when he finished treating her wound. "Please, stop crying."
Sakura frowned, her sobs growing louder.
"I'm an idiot," She quietly said. "I'm an idiot and I'm selfish and – "
She was stopped when Sasuke collapsed on the floor, his eyes clothes and face formed in pain.
"Sasuke!"
"Stop crying now, Sakura..." Were his last words before he once again found comfort in the welcoming darkness.
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It was official. Haruno Sakura was an emotionally instable girl. She looked at her wrapped thigh and winced at the particular memory, scared at the thought that she had felt no pain when she sliced her own thigh. When she quietly watched Sasuke rest, her heart panged with guilt, knowing that she had forced him to use the Sharingan. She felt guiltier when she knew how much that using the Sharingan hurt him.
Her pale hand quietly stroked Sasuke's hand, tears spilling onto his knuckles as Sakura continued to cry. Her sobs were quiet as she struggled to keep her tears inside, knowing that Sasuke would be angry when he woke to find her crying.
I can't change.
I hate feeling vulnerable.
I can't. Not even for him.
What was wrong with her?
As the days passed, even her reflection in the mirror seemed to be fading. Every single moment brought her to believe that she was nearly a lifeless corpse, or perhaps a robot, that only spoke and moved to work and to accomplish, but could not feel or portray any emotion.
And now she had gone to the extreme and had cut herself. It was terrifying to her when she realized that she had felt no pain, regardless of how deep she had made the wound, and had found herself so alive. She never knew that she had it in herself to try such an extreme, or go to such an extreme, when she knew that no matter how tough and screwed up her life became, her friends would always be beside her.
Even though her father was dead, his spirit would always be there to guide her.
Why would she be so selfish to let all of that support and love and affection go to waste because she could not handle a problem?
And Sasuke, especially Sasuke. She cared for him strongly, her feelings through their childhood still present and stronger than ever. She was so disappointed and disgusted in herself that she had gone to such an extreme, because she knew that Sasuke's life was a thousand times harder and a million times more screwed up. But he remained strong.
He lost his older brother, his aunts and uncles, and his father. His older brother was missing, the heavy crime of committing numerous murders, his aunts and uncles and cousins were dead, and his father was so heavily tangled in a desire for power and money. Along with the pain of his lost family, he was also hurt and researched upon by a bastard named Orochimaru, whose mark never ceases to physically hurt Sasuke whenever the Sharingan was activated. All Sasuke had left were his mother, who was currently remaining strong but undergoing an emotional struggle, and her.
Haruno Sakura was the only one who he allowed into his personal bubble.
And she was so selfish to try and throw that all away.
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"Why are you sitting all alone here?"
The brightest, emerald eyes looked at him with so much hope and fire and life. He wished his dark eyes would shine like hers.
"Everyone is away, again. So I like to sit here."
"It's no fun being alone!"
He thought for a few moments before nodding. It is no fun at all being alone. He hardly ever sees his family.
"I'm always alone. This place reminds me of my mommy."
She offered the most angelic smile anyone could ever offer.
"Well, I'll be here with you! Forever, so you'll always have fun!"
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Sasuke awoke at midnight, his head throbbing with the fulfillment of too much sleep. He opened his eyes, not moving any other part of his body, and blinked for a few moments, adjusting to finally be awake again. He heard Sakura's quiet typing and turned to his left, his presence still going unnoticed by Sakura. He smirked as he remembered an old memory that had become a dream, shaking his head at how naïve they had both been when they were young.
He would never put himself in a situation that made him so vulnerable in this stage of his life.
He hated feeling vulnerable.
A smile filtered onto his lips when he heard Sakura's curses on their professor, her typing becoming more forceful and heavy as her curses continued and she grew angrier.
"Sakura."
The Haruno quickly turned, a relieved smile present on her lips. Getting out of her chair and sitting at the foot of her bed, she offered the Uchiha a genuine at-midnight smile that was certain to brighten his middle of the night. Because, surely, he brightened hers.
"Thank goodness. You're really worrying me, you know?"
Sasuke smirked.
"Speak for yourself."
There was silence as Sakura uncomfortably shifted on her bed, her smile fading as her face looked pensive.
"I'm really sorry," She finally whispered, looking at him with her fading emerald eyes. "I should have never d – done such a thing. And I h – hurt you."
With a sigh, Sasuke sat up in Sakura's bed, eyeing her carefully.
"Just tell me why."
Sakura bit her lip, tears once again beginning to spill from her eyes.
"I just – I just felt like assuring myself that yes, I'm still real!"
"Why would you need reassurance that you were real? You're right here, Sakura."
"I feel so apathetic. I feel like a monster! I – I let – Y – Yuri d – die. And then, I inflicted a wound upon myself because I wanted to make sure that blood would still seep. But that was so selfish of me. I'm sorry. There are people that need me."
When his arms opened wide, she instantly found herself comforted by his cold touch.
"You're right," he whispered, holding her close and wiping away her tears once more. "There are people that need you."
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They both never felt so vulnerable in their lives.
And they both vowed that they would never be this vulnerable unless they both needed comfort.
Because to them, being vulnerable is a sin.
(It felt so nice to be in each other's arms. But being vulnerable is a sin.)
And there was certainly a long, winding road ahead of them.
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"Damn that brat," Suzu muttered in her darkest hours, punching her large bed and attempting to control her temper. "She will have nothing left!"
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TBC.
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A/N: SO, I FINALLY UPDATED. WHOO!
I really hope that double chapter sorta made up for it. XD
And I also hope that you enjoyed both of them!
I guess I sort of ended this chapter like it was the end of the fanfic, but there are MORE screwed up actions coming!
There are probably going to be a few more chapters after this. Not too many. (:
Thanks so much for your patience & reading this fanfic!
I truly, truly appreciate it.