Azula's First Date
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Nick owns Avatar, I own squat. This is just for fun.
They sat in silence as the guard entered the room, giving each cell their daily ration of something a rat might mistake for being food…provided that the rat was blind, and a stuffed nose, and deathly ill. Still, when you're a prisoner of a woman whose birth caused several terminally ill people to make miraculous recoveries because the amount of evil in the world was literally sucked away to one focal point…you're happy with what you get.
The guard left and for a moment there was just the sounds of people eating, then it moved into the familiar sound of general despondency and soul crushing despair. It's similar to what you might hear at the DMV or the waiting room of the IRS customer service lobby.
She then moved next to her door as Shi did the same. True it wasn't helping her in the rather urgent goal of 'Get out of this place as fast as possible.' But anything that kept her mind off of her woes…and him…was welcomed.
"So," She whispered. "Where were we?"
"Butterfly brain here was executing his brilliant plan to ask Azula out on a date due to our bet."
She frowned. "Why would he agree to do something as suicidal as that?"
Shi sighed. "It's been a tradition in our families, we've been betting on the strangest things since the beginning." He shrugged. "It always seemed like harmless fun. It was never for money, and it kept all of us smart and alert."
"What kind of bets?"
"Oh, which rotting fish corpse the most flies would land on, how long we could go without using our left hand. Stupid things. It's our version of fun."
"And you wonder why people dislike Fire Nation nobles." She muttered.
"You want me to continue the story or not?" Shi scowled.
"Alright, alright. Sorry." She chanced a slight smile. This was far better than what she had been enduring. "You were about to start with how your friend Chou managed to ask Azula on a date and still keep the skin on his face."
"Right, that part was surprisingly easy."
----
"You wrote a letter?"
Click
"Yep."
Click
"That's it?"
Click
"That was it."
Click
"What did it say?"
Click
"To Azula," Chou cleared his throat. "I have seen you several times and each time I feel my heart skip a beat. I know you do not know me well, apart from being yet another face in the crowd. Regardless I am steeling my courage, to ask you for a chance to get to know each other. Please meet me by the bell tower today at 4. Sincerely, Chou Karumai."
"You wrote Azula that note?" Shi blinked.
Chou grinned widely and shook his head. "No. I didn't write this letter to Azula."
"But you sent it to the palace?"
"Yes."
"It's addressed for Azula."
"Yes."
"But it isn't for Azula?"
"Nope."
"It's 3ish now isn't it?" Shi said frowning, still not comprehending.
"Yes it is…and," Click. "That's game." Chou stood up smiling at Shi's scowling and confused face. "Come on. Let's go, if I remember right she's absurdly punctual."
Azula was standing there with Mai and Ty Lee in tow.
Then she spotted Chou and Shi.
She did not look happy.
At that moment Shi and Chou realized the caliber of mistake they had made and how man is not only very very mortal but has an immense capacity for pain.
"You are…" She glanced at the paper and then back at Chou. "Chou Karuami?"
"Y-y-yes…your highness."
Azula's eyes narrowed and she scanned the courtyard for any possible dangers or threats. "You wrote this letter?"
"Yes your majesty…please don't kill me."
"We'll see…" Azula still wasn't smiling. "Why did you write me this…thing?"
"Well…y-you see…there's..." He swallowed. Shi was desperately looking for a way to run or a cabbage cart to duck under. "There's been a mistake."
"Oh," Azula smiled. Shi was impressed that he managed to keep from soiling himself. "You have no idea how right you are about that." She raised a hand.
"THE LETTER WASN'T MEANT FOR YOU!" Chou shrieked.
Azula paused. "Excuse me?"
Chou looked up. "The messenger I gave it to must have had given it to you in mistake."
She blinked. She hadn't expected something like this. "But this letter had my name on it." Confusion had taken sway over the rest of her emotions for the moment. Soon it would be replaced by anger, raw, overpowering, land razing violence.
"There's another girl named Azula." He took a deep breath. "The letter was meant for her."
"There is?" Azula found her rage was honestly fading.
"Yeah. She…she works down at the fish market." Chou was staring at the ground. "There's been some terrible terrible mistake. I'm SO sorry. Pleasedontkillme!"
Azula blinked, and then sighed. This wasn't fun anymore. "Fine, get up and get out of my sight." She turned to leave and motioned for her girls to follow.
Chou and Shi made land speed records running back to the safety of their sacred Pai Sho parlor.
"THAT was your plan!?" Shi snapped at Chou as he snapped a piece down with far too much force than necessary.
CLICK
"Yeah…yeah it was." Chou placed a piece down with shaking hand. He took a deep breath.
Click
"Okay, so she got the wrong letter and she didn't kill us. Now what?" Shi stared at his friend with a smile. "Cause if you are willing to give up now I'll just make you wear a hat."
Click
"I'm not giving up yet." Chou smiled. "Now we just have to sit down and wait."
Click
"Wait? Wait for what?" Shi frowned.
Click
"For Azula to see herself…so to speak."
Click
"What are you talking about?!"
Click
"Just wait." Chou grinned and slammed down the last piece. "That's game."
"NUTS!"
In her parlor Azula frowned as she stared at the letter. It was a stupid mistake. Some inconsequential boy had feelings for some nothing of a woman that just happened to share her name. Ah well, stranger things had happened. She had other things to worry about.
---
"Hold on!" She interrupted Shi's story. "How do you know what Azula did? I thought you and butterfly brain over there were busy making up your wills?"
"Azula's little toady told me."
"Who?"
"The hyper bouncy one?"
"Oh, Ty Lee."
"Is that her name? Eh, whatever, anyway while Chou was being…"
The pair looked at the huddled figure in the corner. He had stopped rocking back and forth and had moved on to advanced mumbling.
"Entertained. Ty Lee cheerfully told me about Azula's actions and was rather enthusiastic on her musings on what was going to occur to our personages."
She paused. "What?!"
Shi cleared his throat and did a rather poor impression of Azula's crony. "I can't even image what cool kind of torture Azula's planning for you! She's REALLY mad at you guys!"
"Alright, alright. Keep going, just…don't do that again."
---
She looked up at Mai, she was looking at a mirror and messing with her hair.
"What are you doing?"
"Zuko and I have a date tomorrow." Mai replied calmly. "I want to get ready."
"But if your date is tomorrow then why are you teasing your hair today?" Azula asked.
Mai shrugged. "I just want it to look right."
"Oh." Azula went back to looking at the letter. Suddenly she stood up and looked at Ty Lee who was playing with a child's cup and ball toy. "We're going out."
"Oh goody!" She tossed the toy aside. "Where are we going?"
"To the fish market."
Ty Lee frowned. "Eww. I hate the smell of fishy, they're all…fishy smelling."
"We're going."
"Oh! Are we going to go see the other Azula? Cool! I wonder if she's anything like you!"
"I'm sure she isn't." Azula smiled. "I mean, how could some fish gutter compare to me?"
The other Azula couldn't compare. That was for sure. Oh it wasn't that she was bad looking, she had nice black hair tied up in a bun, her skin was nice and she had a sweet smile. She also had, Azula had to admit, beautiful hands, free of blemishes, elegant thin fingers, and amazing dexterity. She could gut and filet and entire OctoEel in less than a minute.
But that squint! It seemed to dominate her entire face, you couldn't even tell what color her eyes were. Even in the dark of the inner fish market it was as if she was staring into the sun. It also affected the rest of her face, when she wasn't giving that sweet smile she looked like she was sucking on a lemon.
Ty Lee was her usual self, bouncing around the Other Azula, asking questions and getting in her way.
Azula stared at her frowning, one thought going through her mind. How could that boy desire THIS Azula over me?! She nowhere as pretty, can't bend at all, no wealth or power, and what's so special about her? The fact that she could gut a fish? I bet she even reeks of fish all the time!
Still Azula put on her best smile and walked up to the young lady behind the counter.
"Umm hello…Azula."
"For the last time you little pest I do-" Other Azula looked up and stopped mid sentence. "Oh, Your Majesty." She did an actual curtsey. "I'm humbled by your presence. How may I serve you?"
"Umm…well." Azula was a little thrown by the show of pure subservience. "What's…what's good?"
"Well," Other Azula smiled. "We just got a fresh shipment of Spider Shrimp. I can get you the freshest pick if you'd like."
"Uhhh, no. No…thank you?" She frowned. "So, your name is Azula?"
"Yes your majesty." She smiled as she started to shell the crustaceans. "It's always been a bit of a joke around all of us. They call me the princess of the fish market." She giggled. "Funny isn't it?"
Azula narrowed her eyes. "Change it."
"Excuse me your majesty?"
"Go down to the city scribes and change your name." She pointed in the building's general direction. "Do it now."
"B-but your majesty…" Other Azula said shock visible in her face. "I've…I mean…"
"There will only be ONE Azula in this city." Azula smiled and leaned over the fish counter to whisper in the Other Azula's ear. "And it will happen one way or another."
The girl was shaking as she nodded. "Y-y-yes your majesty, I did not mean to offend." She was on the verge of tears. Azula fought back the urge to laugh. "W-what shall my new name be?"
Azula scoffed and turned to her companion. "Ty Lee? What shall be the Fish Princess' new name?"
"Umm…well…let's see!" Ty Lee bounded over and landed on top of the counter and stared into the girl's squinty face. "Squinty Fishy Girl? No…Scalely? No, no…" Ty Lee suddenly smiled and jumped back. "I got it! She can be called Wincey! Princess Wincey!" Ty Lee looked very proud of herself.
"Oh I like that name." Azula grabbed the poor girl by the wrist and made her stand up on the counter. "Attention everyone! Attention!" She cried to the crowd. The focus of the crowd was already heavily focused on the visiting royalty and now it was the only thing of notice. "I would like to announce by Royal decree that this girl," She pointed at the standing girl, who was now openly sobbing. "Shall no longer be called Azula. That is MY name. HER name is now 'Princess Wincey' everyone is to call her by THAT name and NONE other. UNDERSTAND?!"
The crowd nodded in unison. Terrified. 'Princess Wincey' just stood there tears dripping down her cheek.
"Good!" Azula said cheerfully. "You can now come down Princess, and we can go get your name officially changed."
Later that day Azula returned to the palace, satisfi-
---
"What happened to her?"
"Huh?" Shi stopped his story. "What happened to who?"
"The other Azula, Princess Wincey." She asked.
Shi paused. "Why don't we say she grew to like her new name and she really did become the Princess of the fish market."
She paused, a cold feeling in her stomach. "Is that what happened?"
"I prefer that version of the story." Shi said.
There was a long silence.
"Shall I continue?"
"Yes. Please."
---
Later that day Azula returned to the palace quite satisfied with herself. Still, there was something that was bothering her. That…boy…that had wanted to go out on a date with 'Princess Wincey.' How could he want to go out with that fishy squinty mess? After all, why have her when that boy…Chou was it? When Chou, could go out with the Princess of the Fire Nation? She would make a MUCH better date, a superior date, the best date. She had checked up on him, he was of proper nobility that she could be seen with him.
She stared at Mai still preening herself and scowled. If Zuzu and Mai could go out tomorrow, then so could she!
"Ty Lee!" She stood up. "Tell me…how does one…go out on a date?"
---
Click
"You have to understand the power of this strategy." Shi said as he placed his piece.
Click
"Is your strategy to find a way to lose quicker?" Chou chuckled. "I mean, if you just want to admit defeat, I'm more than happy to accept."
Click
"Oh, just you wait, you'll see how you're falling into my brilliant trap." Shi waved a finger in his face.
He remained in that pose when Azula threw open the curtain and stormed inside. She walked up to Chou who had frozen like a deer in the headlights. "You will be taking me on a date tomorrow. I will expect…" she consulted a small piece of paper in her hand. "Entertainment, dinner, and you giving your complete and utter attention upon me. All of these elements will of course be fitting of a princess." She smiled at Chou. "I will expect to see you tomorrow at dusk. It'll be fun!"
She left with what the other old men at the Pai Sho parlor would describe as being a skip in her step.
"Told ya all I had to do was wait…" Chou mumbled.
CLUNK
That was the sound of Chou hitting the ground as he passed out.
---
She let out a low whistle. "Pretty clever. So, what? You two tried to skip town and that's why you're here?"
Shi shook his head. "No, he went on the date."
She choked back a laugh. "Alright, how did it begin?"
"How do you expect? With violence of course."