AN Note: Seeing as how no one has killed me yet, I'm going to continue with adding my journal on here. It's been hard to write more, I'm a little busy these days. I can hardly get a minute alone to sneak online.
Alec tried to speak about the current events. Something about the war in Iraq, how nice a family he encountered there was, then how humans were frivolous with fossil fuels because we wouldn't live to see the day we would be paying for our actions. The vampires would.
It wasn't making me talk. So he changed the channel to something more pleasant. An old episode of Spongebob. Yeah, I was as surprised of his choice as you probably are. However, slipping back into something that was childishly comfortable worked. He certainly knew how to calm a girl's nerves. I don't know what Alec expected to get out of watching it, but we discussed more normal topics. Mostly how none of the physics in Spongebob made any sense.
Like a vampire had any right defending the laws of nature and physics.
Then to my utter embarrassment, I confessed that I memorized the theme song to almost every cartoon show on Nickelodeon.
"I used to babysit," I explained.
"Yes. Of course," Alec said unconvinced. A commercial came on. There was nothing more to distract us and he had me all warmed up ready for another barrage of incredible information. I felt myself shrinking back noisily into the faux leather upholstery of the couch. "Now I have a few questions myself."
"Here we go," I muttered. My heart began its thunderous pounding again. He half smirked.
"Relationships: What people do you have contact with?" he asked. I looked at him confused. "Friends? Boyfriends? Family?" I sighed as I suddenly realized why he needed this information.
"This is Game talk isn't it?"
"Yes," he said impatiently.
"I have one good friend. My girlfriend downstairs," I said. Alec nodded his understanding. We need a name for him to. Let's just call him Will. We always joked that I was the Grace to his Will. We talked about boyfriends and relationships. When his brothers came over to visit I always had to come over to support him. He was my best friend.
"And where is she?" Alec asked. I smiled to myself.
"It's a he, actually. He might as well be a girl though. It's our little private joke. Will's coming home his business trip this weekend," I said. Alec nodded slowly. He thought for a moment. Then he stroked his chin absently. It was an odd over dramatic gesture. But if you ever know a vampire you'll know that they live for dramatic effects.
Alec is no exception, the big ham.
"Wonderful," he said sarcastically. Alec stood up and began to pace suddenly and gracefully. It was fascinating watching him walk back and forth, back and forth. He paused with one finger raised. Then he shook his head. "Alright then. We'll spend a few days here. Until your friend comes back. Then we'll have to act."
"Act?" I questioned.
"Yes. We'll probably leave," he looked out the window. The sun had found an opening spot in the clouds. He seemed reassured by this.
"Leave where?" I asked. He was puzzled for a moment absently chewing his nails.
He suggested a location I'm not stupid enough to post for anyone to see. My brow crinkled at the suggestion.
"Are you joking? Why there?"
"The weather is nice," he said.
"When are we coming back?"
"Never," he answered immediately. I stared back at him. He waited for my response. I had none to give. What do you say to that? "You cannot stay here with him around."
"Who's him?" Him was the predator of the Game. Him is... oh let's call him...
"Nicholas. I can't afford to lose to him, and you certainly can't either. We're in the Game. We cannot just sit here and wait for his next move. By now he's already found that I told you everything. I broke a rule. He's going to break some rules as well. He already broke a big one," he said. I had to go back and think about what rules he was talking about.
Rule 1: No changing the human.
Rule 2: No telling the human.
Rule 3: No threatening anyone affiliated with the human.
Rule 3... I gasped.
"Would he really do that?" I asked. I couldn't think of someone killing another person just to lure another. I had visions of my friend screaming in pain. I thought of James making Bella escape her vampire bodyguards to save her mother, by offering herself instead. Either that part wasn't accurate or James wasn't fond of playing by the rules either.
"He would," I answered myself. I looked up. "Why did you break the rules if you knew it would hurt other people?"
"I didn't start this whole rule breaking business," Alec said suddenly defensive. "You never showed any relationship with anyone. I thought I would just whisk you away. Make the Game more difficult for Nicholas." My eyes went wide in a sudden rage.
"Well, I must have misunderstood," I said sarcastically. "As long as the Game is more interesting for the players, who cares who gets hurt?" Alec's eyes darkened catching me off guard. He sighed and his eyes became lighter again.
"Don't do that," he said irritated. As livid as I was, I was not about to test a vampire's patience. I mean, would you? So instead I stood up and went to the refrigerator to test my appetite. Jasper had calmed down. His nose was buried in his blankets, but he still watched Alec carefully. The tension was thick as we both seemed to have had enough of each other, and we hadn't even been together an entire day.
I found some leftover Chinese from two nights ago.
Half an hour passed and I heard the channel change in the other room. In the kitchen I ate slowly as I thought. Funny, how it seemed that everything was taking so long to process. I wondered a few things, still too flustered with Alec to speak with him. He seemed to feel the same.
In my small apartment I could easily peer into the living room. His knee was bouncing anxiously up and down. I formulated my questions while glaring at him. Alec didn't pay attention to my glaring. His channel flipping was getting obnoxious. It's a pet peeve of mine.
What was strange was that was made me get up to talk to him.
He watched me warily.
"How was your aged Chinese food?" he asked blandly. So that was the thing about vampires. They look perfect. They sound perfect. Then you come across one that's a complete jerk and you couldn't care how beautiful he was. I ignored the comment.
"We have a few problems to work out," I said to him. He lowered the hand with the remote. He patted the seat beside him while rolling his eyes. I didn't move.
"Sit," he said. His eyes made that strange flash again. My legs started to feel tired, my body was falling limp with the new will to rest. Despite how much I wanted to, I didn't sit though. He was not going to command me.
"When was the last time you fed?" I asked him.
"Last night," he answered.
"When are you going to feed again?" He was quiet a moment.
"I have some questions for you. Are you going to fight me the whole way as I try to protect you?"
"Only as I see fit. For instance, I'm not going to some random location with you. Also I'm back to work tomorrow to tell my boss that this was a mistake and I don't need the week off. You don't need to pay for anything. One more thing, we're going to speak to this Nicholas guy," I said. The last one was an idea I'd been toying with since Alec first told me about the predator of the Game. Alec's mouth fell open.
"All of those are out of the question," he stated. Then he leaned forward in my couch. "And why the hell do you want to meet Nicholas?" It was not one of my more brilliant ideas, but I would do anything to get out of this stupid, stupid Game.
"You broke the rules. You're disqualified. I think you should forfeit," I said. Alec looked at me like I'd just fluently spoken a dead language.
"It does not work like that," he said. "If I forfeit, you and I both die." I folded my arms across my chest. To this day I'm not sure why we both have to die in a forfeit. I'll find a way to bring it up in casual conversation and get back to you.
"Who's going to kill you?" I asked in disbelief. It's not like you can just stake a vampire and be done with it. He shook his head and looked at the ground. It was clear he saw no point to the conversation.
"Traditionally, the mediator. They are there to referee," he said. My brow furrowed.
"But I thought the mediator was dead?"
"She is," Alec said.
"How-?"
"Nicholas killed her," he said before I could even finish my sentence. He folded his arms across his chest triumphantly. "Do you really want to try to negotiate with a person like that?"
"I want to negotiate," I said stubbornly. I didn't really. But I did want to live my life like I was before. I didn't want to have Will, or even Jasper, in danger of someone over a stupid Game. Alec started to say something, but he was at a loss for words. He stood up and paced.
"You're unbelievable," he said. The way he said it wasn't nice. He stood up in my face looking down at me from his full height. I straightened my posture trying to make myself as tall as I could but I was still no match for him. His eyes flashed angrily. Then he reached out and poked me, what looked like a gentle poke but with was like someone had jabbed me with a broom handle.
"Ow!" I complained. The next morning I had a very colorful bruise.
Alec didn't care so much. Maybe vampires as nice as Edward really were fictional. "Let's get this straight. I am the big scary 'mythological' creature. I have incredible strength, speed, and abilities. I am trying to protect you from certain death. You should do as I say without question." It was getting easier and easier to defy those dark golden eyes.
"You are not trying to protect me. You are trying to win," I accused. He hesitated.
"There's no difference," he said. I turned to face him.
"That's not the point," I said. It was kind of a stupid thing to say. I wasn't even sure what the point was. It wasn't late, but I was exhausted. My muscles were loose and body was heavy, though I was still just as irritated. Alec stared at me for too long. I felt scrutinized under his gaze. His hand fell on my shoulder.
"You're going to have to trust me," he said comfortingly. "I love to win." I shivered at those words. They were oddly electrifying coming from a perfect looking man. My shiver made him chuckle softly. Suddenly the hand on my shoulder snaked around me, under my hair to my other side. He guided me toward the bedroom. Jasper wagged his tail and started to fall in step behind us.
Alec turned to give him a warning glance. Jasper came to a dead stop, confused at the reason that someone would want him to spend the night outside of the bedroom.
"Jazzy, come," I said merely out of defiance. Jasper jogged to keep up with us. I went to my room unashamed of the mess of clothes that covered most of the floor like a lumpy carpet. Jasper leapt onto the bed and walked a circle before curling into a ball. Alec watched him and then turned to me.
"You let the dog sleep in your bed with you?" he asked.
"Yup," I said searching for my clean clothes pile. I found it and obtained an oversized t-shirt. Then also the most comfortable pair of pajama pants I owned. I looked at the vampire. He stared right back at me. I actually had to gesture for him to turn around for him to figure out what I was talking about. He sighed impatiently and muttered something about foolish modesty under his breath. You'd think a vampire born in an age of chivalry would be a tad more gentlemanly.
"You know you shouldn't do that," Alec said as I pulled my head through the hole of the shirt.
"Do what?" I asked already not caring about what he had to say.
"Let the dog on the bed," he said staring at my bedroom wall. "A household is a pack and every pack needs its alphas. You, simply because of you're being human, are an alpha. You need to put boundaries between you and the beta, the dog. He might think he's the alpha if you let him sleep with you."
The moment I finished tying the drawstring of my pajama pants he turned around.
"He protects me. I feel safe with him," I said nodding the dog that was already half asleep on my comforter.
"You have me to protect you now. Who do you think would do a better job. A dog or a vampire?" I was glad he was so smug as he said this so I could stomp his spirits with the heel of my foot.
"Dogs are more loyal than vampires. You don't have to worry about them turning on you," I said. To my immense pleasure he was completely shocked that I'd had the gall to say such a thing. I walked over to the bed and tucked myself in.
But as tired as I was I couldn't get sleep. So I spent the night watching the shadows. I watched the red numbers of my cheap little digital clock. Three hours went by and my heart was still pounding. It was pounding like I was running.
A hand rested on mine, right where the blood flowed strongest on the center of my wrist. I screamed bloody murder.
When I opened my eyes and looked at the person next to me it wasn't a red eyed monster. It was a beautiful pain in the ass sitting beside me on the bed on top of my covers. Jasper had picked up his head. When he saw that nothing was wrong he sighed irritated and lowered his head back onto his paws. Me? I couldn't help but stare. How often had I thought Bella was so lucky to have her own personal protector every night to keep her company? Alec is no Edward though.
"How can you not be asleep? You were so tired," Alec asked. I couldn't answer the question. I was too busy noticing the fact that he was in my bed. Remember what Alec said about alphas and other pack members sleeping in their bed?
My thoughts exactly. Pushy, domineering vampire...
"Get off my bed," I told him.
"No, Jay. I'm staying right here. I need to watch you," he said sternly. I stared at him in the blue moonlight from the window. "Go to sleep."
"I can't sleep with you here," I said. There was something unsettling about having a vampire in my bed. Even if he was fully clothed and sitting on top of the covers whereas I was under them. He still didn't make any movement to step off my bed. He just slipped down on the mattress so he was lying down and faced the ceiling. His hands fell across one another over his chest as he tapped his fingers anxiously.
"Go to sleep, Jay."
"Leave me alone," I muttered into my pillow as I flopped myself on my stomach.
"You know what always bothered me about Twilight?" Alec said casually. I gave a heavy sigh to show my irritancy. If he wanted me to sleep then why wouldn't he shut up? "Bella couldn't be Edward's Cantante. Those are impossible to resist.."
"That would be the point of the story," I muttered impatiently. "Somehow Edward found the strength. It's love."
"She should have been dead the second she walked into Biology," he said mostly to himself. I turned to look at him over my shoulder. He was looking at the door of my bedroom. Not studying it, but drifting in his thoughts alone. "He couldn't have fallen in love with her at first sight. So love wasn't holding him back."
"Maybe it was protection for his family's secret?" I suggested. He snorted.
"The family itself is an unfathomable concept," he said. That's one of Alec's favorite words. Unfathomable. I personally found it annoying. But I wasn't going to sleep and neither was he obviously. I decided to play along with his little debate.
"So according to you, Bella and Edward's relationship is impossible, no one can resist a Cantante, and there are no such things as werewolves?"
"Precisely," he said.
"Maybe you should be more open minded," I said. "You are a mythical creature." I couldn't believe I was having this conversation. Naturally, he wouldn't let up. He was determined to convert me to doubt.
"Also, Carlisle is an impossible character. No vampire could ever come near a hospital, let alone work in one, for that long. It's not true. The whole thing is a made up story," he said. I turned around to face him. Alec looked perplexed that I was willing to entertain his theories. His jaw was clenched that I was still arguing him. He sighed.
"But people bleed in public all the time. You have some resistance otherwise you couldn't walk among humans," I argued.
"We have temporary self control, but we cannot be in a place full of bleeding victims all day long. It would be maddening," he insisted.
"I believe all of Twilight. I even believe the characters are real," I said stubbornly. "Maybe the gory details aren't the same. The locations, the exact names, or the history. But somewhere there's a 'Bella and Edward'. Though I don't know if Bella is changed at this point or not. I guess we have to wait for the next book to find out." Alec chuckled grimly.
"As though you would know," he said. I rolled my eyes.
"Right. I forgot. I'm the ignorant human," I muttered sarcastically. He didn't say anything to that. Most likely he agreed with me.
"The mere concept is completely unfathomable," he whispered to himself. I was starting to get frustrated. This guy just wouldn't drop the subject!
"So are vampires," I snapped, trying futily to hide my annoyance in my tone. I spread my arms wide to motion our dark surroundings. "And yet here we are."
"Families as large as the Cullens, one of us working as a doctor, celibate vampires refusing to drink humans, the angelic hero who can resist a Cantante..." he muttered. "It's ridiculous."
"So after spending the entire day convincing me that creatures from a book are completely real, you're going to tell me the events within that book are impossible?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes," he said.
"That is impossible," I said. He turned to look at me. "If vampires had absolutely no control over their blood lust than there would be no vampires. How would anyone be able to bite a human and not kill them if someone wasn't able to resist their blood?" Alec exhaled.
"Don't pretend like you understand," he said. Alec was just mad because I was right, I still believe that to this day. He'd never admit it though. With a huff I turned my back to him and shrugged the comforter over my shoulder.
Infuriating, insufferable, intolerable vampire. Wait a minute...
Celibate vampires refusing to drink human blood
Did any of you readers catch that too? It took me a while to realize that he thought a strict diet of animal blood was impossible. Which meant only one thing. He had a diet consisting of human.
"You don't believe vampires can live on animals alone?" I asked hesitantly. His dark gold eyes flashed at me. The golden eyes with an orange tint. Red and yellow make orange. Red eyes... He must have heard my heart rate speed up.
"It's... too difficult," he said looking ashamed. Oh no.
"But you're eyes. They're golden. Like Edward's..." my voice was starting to leave me.
"I've been on such a diet since I knew one existed. Since the first book came out," he said looking down at himself. "My eyes just started changing." There was a long pause in the dark. I thought about New Moon, how one cut sent Jasper (the vampire) pouncing at Bella. Was I really this close to a Jasper?
"So it is possible," I said trying to sound encouraging. He smiled weakly.
"Perhaps," he conceded. His grin was slowly spreading. "So far." That was one scary smile. It was time to play nice with the vampire. No more insulting or badgering. For now, anyway.
"Maybe you should start a Humanaholics Anonymous group," I ribbed lightly. That worked. He chuckled in the dark. I loved that light hearted sound with his pure, wonderful voice. It made me smile too.
"Hello, my name is Alec," he joked.
"Hi Alec."
"And it's been three years since my last human," he said. I took my hands out from under the covers to applaud lightly. We were both laughing now. This moment will stand out forever for me, because it was the first time we ever truly enjoyed one another's company. It was ruined though as we faced one another on the bed. His smile tightened as he looked at me. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, but I couldn't see its exact color in this lighting. It had me a little worried.
So I chose my words carefully.
"That's quite an accomplishment. Three years is a long time," I said. He rolled his eyes and snorted. "For my kind anyway." We both watched one another for a quiet moment on the bed. It was the kind of mood that was thickening with some sort of tension. He slid himself a little farther away and sucked in a breath through his nose.
It made me wonder, what was that whole conversation about? Was he close to falling off the wagon and killing me? The thought disturbed me, but I was comforted by logic. I couldn't believe that he would do such a thing. Not necessarily because he cared enough about me to worry about my safety, but because I believed him when he said he loved to win.