The jail was rather well designed

Azula's First Date

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I got nothing, Nick got Avatar and needs to air more eps now.

000

The jail was rather well designed. It wasn't perfect, there really wasn't the technology available to create one what with the utility bending provided, but it wasn't bad. Strong stone and metal construction, a well-staffed and properly rotated guard schedule with random spot checks. There were no leaks or cracks in the walls, everything well maintained. True, if there were a group of people, with a bender of each element present, and provided that the earth bender could bend metal, and as long as there were one or two people skilled with an actual weapon that HAD weapons, then that group would be able to make a rather thrilling attempt at escape which might possibly even result in a fire...or maybe even an explosion.

However, for three prisoners, without weapons, only one person a bender (a mediocre one at that), and in the third person's case, without a seemingly functional brain, their chances were fairly small. Also...well...She honestly thought about this too, maybe it was better that there wasn't a thrilling escape attempt. Such an event would invariably allow everyone in here to escape and She knew that was not a good thing. Apart from her conversations with Shi, she listened to the other prisoners as well. Some talked, some screamed, some mumbled, and none of it was pleasant.

This was a prison for people to disappear in, but just a little less than half of these people were here for reasons similar to that of Her, Shi, and Chou. The rest were there for other reasons. Murderers who did more than just end a person's life, armchair torturers who viewed making a puppy scream for hours as being a fun evening, people responsible for crimes that leave women weeping, and those responsible for crimes that made children weep…or worse.

The fact that She was jailed in along with these...creatures...burned as an insult. She also had to admire the sheer brilliance of it. Azula had trapped Her in a cage She truly did not want to destroy. Genius.

It had been a few days since the last time She and Shi had spoken to each other. Either She was being…entertained or those other two were taken away for reasons unspoken of. Some days they would just sleep, an effort in itself to get the body to relax, and the brain to not torture with dreams. There would be small mind games to play, people in other cells to talk to, and She would always study the movements of the guards. There was actually a lot to keep the mind occupied. Of course, there is always a limit, and there came a long dull stretch of time, with nothing to do but watch the torches that lit the place flicker.

She cleared her throat and felt a rush of excitement when she heard the corresponding cough. 
"Where was I?" Shi asked. 


"Dinner." She responded. 


"Ah, right. Oh, quick question. Do you know what a restaurant is?" 


She sighed. "I'm not a total Earth Kingdom bumpkin you know. It's a place where you pay to have other people cook and feed you."

Shi paused. She's from the Earth Kingdom? Interesting. "Yeah, that's the general idea of it. Madusara's is a little different though, it's considered to be the best restaurant in the Fire Nation."

"Really? Is the food good?" 
"No, it's absolutely wretched, and you barely get anything bigger than a Lilly Hopper's leg…and yes they do cook those."

"Ick!" She made a face. "So, do the servers do something special? Sing, dance, magic tricks?"


"Nope, it's the worst service in the world. The waiters will actively insult you and that's when you pay them in gold." 
There was a puzzled silence, after a moment she spoke. "So…why is it the best place in the Fire Nation, why do people even GO to it in the first place?"

"Because it's hard to get into."


"What?"


"You can't just walk up and ask for a seat or go in and sit down like any teahouse." Shi said simply, as if he were explaining something simple to a child, like cold fusion. "You need to have reservations."

"So you ask to eat there later…is that it?" 


"No, because they won't let you make them." 


"Excuse me?"


"Madusara's will out and out refuse to let you even have the CHANCE of eating there, some noble families have to wait years in advance just to eat there once." He chuckled. "There's a legend that when Madusara first opened his little place of business he refused to sit Avatar Roku because his robes were slightly muddy."

"You're kidding."


"There's a painting on the wall commemorating the event." He sighed. "Anyway, it's not so important that you have a good time or that you not get sick from eating undercooked or categorically poisonous food, rather it's more important that OTHERS know that you are dining at Madusara's."

"That's crazy." She shook her head. What kind of civilization was this when the mere act of exclusivity was championed? "So, even though the food is horrid Chou thought that it'd be a good idea to take her there just because it might look good to others?"

"This is Azula we're talking about." 


She thought about it for three seconds. "Good point. So, you dragged the pair to this place after they left the fight."

-- 


The talk during the trip to Madusara's was rather pleasant. Azula did most of the talking; explaining her brilliance in battle and some of her favorite maneuvers, if one didn't know better you'd think she was having a good time. Chou did the smart thing by nodding and agreeing with her. Azula even seemed honestly interested in actually learning what his name was. The possibility of both men living to see who would have to dress in women's clothing tomorrow was actually starting to look feasible.

"So, where are we going to eat?" She asked idly. 


"We're going to Madusara's." Chou said. 


"Really?" She blinked. "That is most satisfactory." She took a quick glance at her cheat sheet. 


If you're having fun you can sit closer to him.


 She nodded to herself in approval and turned to Chou. "You may move two inches closer to me now."


 "E-excuse me?"


 "I will not make the offer twice. You have gained favor, I suggest you not waste it." Chou carefully moved what he hoped was exactly two inches closer to Azula. She smiled at him. "I do hope you continue this trend of pleasing me."

"As do I." Chou nodded cold sweat trickling down his back. The idea of surviving this date once again became a very very faint pipe dream. After what seemed to be far far too long the tri arrived in front of the decadently adorned entrance of Madusara's.

The building was well constructed of well varnished wood, and the entry was so horribly tacky that it went all the way around and became classy again. Excessive amounts of gold leaf trim, carvings of Rainbow Eels cavorting in a stream that wound it's way up the frame to culminate in the family crest of Madusara done in colored glass that no matter what time of the day, always shone right in your eyes.

"Please wait here." Chou said to Azula as he got out of the rickshaw. "My servant and I will be right back. I must make sure we were given a suitable table."

Azula nodded and waved the two off. They entered the restaurant and waited for one of the waiters to decide that they wouldn't leave until one of them talked to them.

"So," Shi nudged Chou. "How'd you get reservations here? I've got to say I am honestly impressed with your abi-"

"I don't." Chou mumbled. 


There was a pause.

"You don't, what?" Shi said slowly fearing the answer.


 "Reservations." Chou swallowed. He was breathing heavily again and looked like something spiny and irregularly shaped was working its way out of his colon. "I just told them this morning that the Princess was coming and she expected a table. They said they'd see what they could do."

"And you BELIEVED them?!"


 "Yeah."


 "We're dead."


 "What do you want?" A dry voice said. Take the image of every waiter that was so bad you actively went looking for the comment cards. Put them all together in some horrible mishmasher and pull out the bitter, hateful, scathing creature with no patience, a receding hairline that makes him look older than he is, good skin, and good teeth, and you have the creature that stood before the pair.

"I'm here for dinner."


 The waiter stared at him for a while. "And what would you like me to do about it?"


 Chou's voice was filled with a strange calm sounding kind of panic. "Please, seat me and my date and serve us."


 The waiter sniffed. "Sorry, we're all full tonight."


 Chou and Shi peered behind the waiter and looked into the bowels of Madusara's. There were about 15 tables. Only three of them had people. "It looks like you have vacancies."

"Those tables are reserved."

"But you said earlier that when Princess Azula and I came there's be a table!"


 "I said I'd see what I can do." He sniffed again. "And I didn't see any openings…but I can take your name down if you leave now."

"But, this is the Princess Azula."


 "So?" The waiter scoffed. "I don't care if it's Ozai himself out that door. We will not seat him without a proper reservation.

"What do you think will happen when I tell her that you are refusing to sit her?" 
 "If you want sir, I can walk out of here and tell her myself that you failed to gain reservations and will not be dining here tonight." He smiled.

000


 Shi was forced to pause in his story so She could regain Her breath after laughing so hard.


 "Are you done yet?"


 "snnrk…heheheh…yeah, yeah I'm…go-BWAHAHAHA!" She fell over laughing again. Five minutes later, wiping her eyes she waved at Shi. "Sorry." She gasped. "Go on, go on."


 "You know we didn't think it was that funny you know." Shi growled. After a bit he smirked. "But trust me, that bastard got his."

000


 In another world perhaps Chou called his bluff. It didn't end well…although the waiter did survive…in the loosest sense of the term. In this world however, Chou did the smart thing and chickened out. If he was lucky maybe he too would survive…in the loosest sense of the word.

"Besides," the waiter sniffed. "We already are serving royalty tonight and we do not see any need to add another."


 Chou looked up and saw them sitting in a booth near the back, and suddenly felt warm sweeping relief come over him. The pair at the table were staring at the food in front of them and at each other with that same 'Why did we come here exactly?' look that all patrons of Madusara's gained. Along with that relief came an idea of what Chou was going to do. He turned to the head waiter. "Where exactly is the kitchen?"


 The waiter blinked and pointed towards the back. "That way of course, why do you a-hey, HEY! You can't go back there!" He shouted as Chou walked straight in that direction, motioning for Shi to follow.

The kitchen was the same as in any well run restaurant. Busy, surfaces continually oscillating between pristine and messy, people shouting back and forth in calm voices, and a plethora of smells all crashing into one another. Chou and Shi didn't bother with the people who were cooking, cleaning, or shuttling food around. Chou just dropped a small coin purse on a clear counter and started to help himself to the pantry. He and Shi, under his orders, took down jars and paper wrapped packets of food, a few vegetables and fruits, and a couple of water skins and bottles. Everything went into a large basket he had found pushed to one side. After a moment he nodded to Shi, and the two left. On the way out Chou picked up a large skillet filled with Lilly Hopper legs sizzling in oil by the handle with the cloth. The kitchen continued to operate.

"What do you think you're doing?! What do you have in that basket! I'm going to call the authori-" CLONG!


 The snooty waiter and the still sizzling skillet hit the floor. Zuko and Mai stared at the scene as Chou and Shi calmly exited Madusara's.


 "No I DON'T know what happened to that moron waiter afterwards and I don't care." Shi snapped anticipating Her question.


 "Thank you for waiting your highness." Chou smiled as he held up the basket. "I had to go pick up the food for our picnic dinner."

"Why are we not dining inside?" Azula asked through narrowed eyes.


 "They did not have the exact table I wished for us ready, also some of the other patrons were not suitable to be dined with." He sighed. "This restaurant has apparently gone downhill."

"So?" Azula scoffed. "We shall simply 'ask' them to leave."


 "I would, but his majesty, your brother, the prince is dining there with company. I would not have us dine with them."

Azula did not share that sentiment. She thought that dining along side Zuzu and showing off her superior date to him and spoiling his dinner would be a wonderful thing. "Why not?" Her voice had that certain edge to it that usually ended in something terrible occurring. This time Shi had already plotted out his escape route.

"I would not have us appear to arrive second to Madusara's." Chou said with just a faint hint of a waver in his voice.

Azula paused and considered the implications. Arriving second to Madusara's? Having to wait as she watched Zuzu and Mai eat and have to watch them walk away from her? Unacceptable. She then considered the idea of telling Zuzu that while HE only too Mai to Madusara's a place EVERY fire nation noble had been to, HER date had taken her on a private EXCLUSIVE picnic JUST for her. Yes…that would do nicely.
 "Fine…but the picnic site must be suitably romantic." She nodded. "But none of that saccharine tripe like cherry blossoms or a rolling glassy meadow."

"How about there?" Shi pointed out to a pier on the water. At the end there was a little bench. "I suppose it will do." Azula waved her hand and Shi pulled on. Immediately wishing he hadn't pointed at something that was so damn far away.

They arrived with only a little bit of awkwardness at an attempt to talk about the weather. It didn't go well. The sun was just about to begin to set. Shi was unfairly forced to set up the picnic as those two layabouts just stared at the damn ocean.

000

What did I tell you about personal commentary?" She snapped.

Shi just scowled. "I feel as if you are under appreciating my suffering."

"It's not like there's a lack of that here." She replied.

Shi sighed. "Fine fine, anyway the food was set out, they ate. I ate back at the rickshaw. I supposed they talked about something meaningless or disturbing. When I went back to check on them, and set up dessert the disaster happened."

"What disaster?"

000

"What is that?" Azula pointed at the small white bottle Shi had placed with the other water skins of juice. She had often seen bottles like that at banquets but never had the chance to ask. All she knew was that it was some kind of drink served in either small cups or tiny saucers. Chou had both.

000

"Oh no…don't tell me…" Her eyes went wide. "Sake?"

"You know about sake?"

"Yeah well, you know…it's a very special occasion, you're out with the girls on someone's birthday. You have a little naughty fun drinking when you know you shouldn't. You decide to sample the bottles in the cabinet cause your sick of cactus juice." She shrugged. "How about you two?"

"We've been drinking since we were about eleven." Shi said calmly. "Fire nation nobles don't really watch their kids…or lock their liquor cabinets well."

"But Azula?"

"No clue…and a total lightweight. So, anyways…"

000

"What is that?" Azula tried not to sound too interested, but she was obviously curious.

"Hmmm?" He points at the white bottle. "Oh this is a drink for me. You ever hear of sake?"

"Sake? Isn't that something the lower class drinks?" Azula makes a face.

"Yes, but I do suppose we all have our own personal vices." Chou sighs. "However, there's a difference between this and what the rabble drinks. Like the difference between a red shirt, and a red shirt that's been properly woven and dyed."

Azula seemed to consider that explanation for a moment. "Intriguing choice of words. Fine, I'll try your...sake."

Chou blinks. "Well..." He looked at Shi who just made a nasty grin. "It may not be something you're used to." He frowned. "It isn't a sweet drink like nectar or juice. It's sort of bitter and strong."

"Did I ask what it tastes like?" Azula frowned at him. "I said I'll try it."

XXX

Meanwhile, on another island...

"I just had the weirdest shiver." Aang mumbles.

"Probably just the weather, or something coming to kill us. Come on, Katara and Toph are waiting." Sokka replied.

XXX

"Alright alright." Chou held up a hand as he poured her a saucer. "Just so you aren't surprised by the taste."

"Are you saying I can't handle a simple drink?"

"No!" Chou frowned. "Just making sure that you're informed." He hands her the small saucer. "Here."

"Hmph!" Azula snatched the saucer and stared at the almost clear liquid. "This is it?"

"Yes, you traditionally have small amounts through out the entire meal rather than just one large cup." Chou poured himself his own saucer and raised it. "To the inevitable victories of our great nation."

Shi just rolled his eyes and opened up a juice-filled waterskiing. "Oh for some cactus juice..." He muttered.

"To the victories," Azula shortens it and raises her saucer. She then downs the whole thing in one gulp.

Chou slightly scooted backwards. Shi stepped behind the rickshaw.

There's was pause while Azula sat there for a moment, not moving. Then a strip of red seemed to appear across her face. "Wow, that's not bad..."

"Holy crap she's a featherweight!" Shi mumbled.

Chou downed his saucer not noticing. "I told you, I get the best."

"Give me some more, butterfly-boy!" Azula held out her saucer again to Chou.

XXX

"Okay," Sokka stopped mid step. "Now even I felt that one."

XXX

Chou blinked, realizing what was happening. "Ummm...wouldn't you rather like some..." He sighed knowing what the answer would be. "Of course." He poured her another saucer and refilled his own. "To the triumphs."

To the triumphs!" Again, Azula downed the whole thing.

Chou emptied his. "Ohhh, this isn't going to end well." He muttered.

"Aaah!" she exhaled deeply, face turning a bit redder. She sat there for a moment, eyes half closed, staring out at the ocean.

Chou took a deep breath and looked at Azula. "So...tell me all about your triumph over those Earth Barbarians." There that should be a safe thing to talk about, he supposed.

Azula seemed to snap out of some deep thought. "Don't even get me started on those Earth Kingdom scum!" she declared. Then she looked down at the small bowl in front of her. "What the...hell...is this?!"

"Chilled candied ember peaches."

Oh..." Azula picks up one of the glistening slices and gingerly took a bite. She seemed to taste it for a moment before finally nodding her head in approval. "I suppose it'll do." She then looked sideways at Chou. "What are you staring at?! Don't make me Firebend you into the next life!" The sake seemed to affect her anger...on an ever-growing exponential scale.

"Pardon me." He turns to his own bowl of peaches. "It's hard not to look at the most beautiful woman in the world."

000

"Oh come on, even that's a little much." She snapped.

"You weren't staring down a tipsy Azula." Shi replied.

000

"Well, I suppose that is an adequate answer..." Azula nibbled her desert a little more. "I was expecting a bit more out of this date, I admit, but I suppose it's not horrible."

At this point Shi stood up and walked next to Azula. "And would her majesty like another drink while she waits? Some nectar, water, juice perhaps?" He said, holding the sake bottle in his hands. Chou had a deer in the headlights look on his face, slightly shaking his head no.

000

"Oh that was just cruel."

"I honestly couldn't help myself."

000

"Hmm, give me some more sake. And don't make it a weakling's amount like you've been giving me. Give a girl a real drink."

"At once your majesty." Shi took one of the small teacups and filled it. "For the victories." He said as he handed it to her. Chou at this point had given up and decided to get wasted too.

"For the victories!" she raised it up high and then took a couple of gulps. "Aaah! Now that's a drink!"

XXX

"Why are you two boys hiding in the closet?" Katara asked.

XXX

Shi, as the ever obedient servant, refilled her cup

"Aah, thank you...Sh...Sh...manslave..."

"I live to serve." He said bowing, a huge gleeful smile on his face. "Care for another?"

"In a minute...let my shyshtems catch up...I think it may be...impairing me..." Azula said holding up a finger her head bobbing back and forth slightly.

Chou gained a look of sheer relief on his face. He snapped his fingers. "Servant! Go and prepare the Uro-Seb Tea for her majesty."

"But that stuff's expen-"

"Do. It. Now!" Chou shots him a death glare.

000

"The what?" She asked.

"It's a tea made from a moss that grows on a tree. Best way to sober up in a hurry. Tastes horrible though, and it's very expensive." Shi explained.

"Huh…didn't know that."

"Well next time your decide to get drunk and are not locked in a prison with next to no hope of escape or rescue then you'll know what to do then, so I go get the tea and come back and things have actually gotten worse."

"How?!"

000

"Hey…hows about you ditch this loser and go out with me huh?" A drunk had wandered down the pier and was actually hitting on Azula.

To make matters worse Azula was actually letting him.

And to top it all off Chou was now, on a scale of one to ten, extremely inebriated.

Shi honestly thought it would be better to turn around and walk away, but that would have meant forfeiting the bet.

"Just walk away buddy. The princess is with me." Chou said poking the three inch taller and twelve pound heavier man in the chest. "Got it?"

"Bug off," The man said pushing Chou away. "This woman needs a real man not some shrimp like you." He turned to Azula and grinned. "So…wanna go have some real fun?"

Azula honestly blushed. That was the time Chou stabbed a fork into the drunk man's leg. He screamed in pain, and then Chou charged into him, shoving him over the railing into the water.

"Bastard…" He looked at Azula. "This is MY date." He smiled.

Azula looked honestly impressed.

That's when Chou stepped in with the tea.

000

"So…" She said smiling. "Guess what I'm about to ask."

"He's dead." Shi said calmly. After a moment he just groaned and roll his eyes. "Some fishermen pulled him out and he healed and sobered up. It wasn't that big of a wound."

"Oh."

"Not every person we meet turns into a horror story." He sighed. "Law of averages sort of sees to it anyway."

000

"Ugh…that stuff is wretched." Azula made a face. "But my head does feel clearer." She turned to Chou and nodded. "It was quite satisfactory how you dealt with that boorish drunk…Chou."

"Thank you your majesty." Chou said trying to get the bitter taste out of his mouth.

Azula looked at her cheat sheet one more time.

At the end of the day let him walk you home…and hold hands!

"I wish to go home now." She said standing up. "I also will not be riding in that piece of trash any longer." She grabbed Chou's hand. "Escort me home and do not let go of my hand unless you wish to lose yours."

"Of course. It is getting late." Chou said and let the clean up to Shi.

000

"So that was dinner…and I think the guards are due any time to give us ours." Shi sighed.

"I guess Chou had won the bet by then right?" She said smiling.

"No no. There was one last thing he needed to do before he won." Shi grinned.

"The goodnight kiss."