Chikadzu: In Fate we Tie

Chapter 7: Behold! Delicious Turtle Soup

Note: I would like to apologise for Chapter 6 being labelled Chapter 5

As Janet sat in her office, two dodgy travel agents were having a conversation,

"And I was down to my last two boxes, £250,000 in one, a penny in the other. The banker offered me £100,000, and no-no-no-no-no-no Noel Edmonds asked me the question 'Deal or No Deal?' I wanted to deal so I said 'no-no-no-no-no-no deal'. And for some unthinkable reason, he thought I'd said no deal."

"And what was in your box?"

"A penny..."

"Thank you Hallee and Zmit but we're here to discuss what happened in my day not yours..." Janet interrupted with a bored expression on her face,

"So how was your day Janet?"

"Well, I was asked by four suspicious customers for a flight to Mongolia, they looked very similar to the people off M-Factor, so I asked them for their names..."

"What they looked like Arpeggio Tirel, Luke Boring, Karen Burning and Dannii La'Rogue?"

"Yes Zmit, so anyway I asked them for their names, and they said their names were Tarpeggio Irel, Buke Loring, Baren Kurning and Lannii Da'Rogue..."

"Did you believe them?"

"Of course I did, it's like not believing that Enoel Dmonds was different from Noel Edmonds, or that Victoria Adamswood was different from Victoria Beckham I...oh...damn!"

"What?"

"Adamswood is Beckham! I've just let the judges off M-Factor fly to Mongolia."

"And?"

"Well they're meant to be here in Duca for the live audition concert tonight, and the local mob group is after them for some reason, and they said they'd murder all us travel agents if they escaped!"

"What are you going to do?"
"Simple, buy a flight to Mongolia!"

Two hours later at HQ, Janet was telling the rest about her dilemma

"Gentlemen, and lady, we have a serious crisis!"

"What?"

"If we don't make the M-Factor show go perfect, I'm fleeing to Mongolia!"

"Why wouldn't it be perfect..."

"Because the judges have fled to Mongolia! So I've come up with a plan!"

"Oh lord never a good sign..."

"Espio, Vector, Shingari and Kuriba are going to disguise themselves as the judges..."

"Yeah I can already see a flaw in this..."

"What flaw is that Vector?"

"There are two men and two women in the judging line up, in your plan there are three men and one woman. That means..."

"Yes Vector, you are going to be Karen Burning. Espio will be Arpeggio, Shingari will be Luke, and Kuriba will be Dannii..."

"Anything else?"

"While your distracting the crowd, I will distract the mob leader, and to make sure that cook doesn't try and murder us all, Charmy will watch him..."

"Watch him?"

"At all times..."

"Even when-"

"-Yes! At all times!"

Three hours later (don't ask me why I'm doing so many time lapses...)

Janet was randomly walking when she saw Kuriba searching on the internet for something, in a polite child-like voice, Janet asked "What are you doing Kuriba?"

"I discovered this brilliant new site, it's called 'FanFiction', and some of the stories on it are great, especially the ones by Exilir De'Zarough."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, his profile is full of quotes...but some of the others are really bad..."

"Like who?" They were interrupted by Shingari looking at a chair blankly

"What do you call this thing?"

"That's called a chair, you sit on it, like I'm doing...anyway, well Elementary is the worst, he doesn't use spell-check or anything..."

"Do you have anything on it?"

"Not yet, my pen-name is the same thing as my full name..."

"What is your full name?"

"Kuriba Applets Samantha Jane Emma Jean Oranges Pears Psychopathy Rosie Geraldine Julie Andrews To Kill A Mockingbird Molly Emma Louise Glover Farthest Bridge Spyro the Dragon Crash Bandicoot Wrath Of Cortex Victor Moritz Rachela Berlin Cerys Jael Tyra Banks Stupid Colin Last Name Unknown Russ Cargill Epa Thanks For Giving Me Your Pregnancy Pants Never Known Comfort Like This Do You Wanna Be On Top Oi I'm A Sage."

"I regret asking you now..." Janet became disturbed at Shingari looking at the chair.

"Shingari, chairs are for sitting on, like Kuriba is doing, see?"

In another room, Espio was talking to Marchesa on the phone

"Mr Espio, you have done well...but the time has come for the delivery to be made, bring me the mortal you call Shingari and you shall have your pay..."

Little did they know, that on the other side of the door...was Shingari!