Brooke sat behind the wheel of the Bug for what felt like forever. She had driven there every day for over a week but had yet to summon the courage to actually get out of the car. It was too hard even though she had practiced what to say in front of the mirror practically every night. It seemed so much easier then. Only she knew how sincere and how sorry she truly was. The words, some reasonable form of explanation were within her and now she just had to try to convey it to him, somehow make him understand. That would be tough enough considering he hadn't even looked at her since that fateful and humiliating night of the party.

"Now or never, B. Davis, you can do this," she tried to pump herself up as her arm opened the door.

Her legs felt like jelly as she walked towards the skate park where a part of her was hoping he would be. The other part was way too nervous and scared to confront him but it was something that had to be done. So she continued on her mission and found the popular hang out spot deserted except for one dark haired boy who rode his skateboard up the ramp, making a quarter turn in mid air over and over again until it was perfect.

Brooke closed her eyes as the breeze softly blew threw her brunette locks. It reminded of her a special night not so long ago that now felt like light years away. It was the night she had met him at the Shady Oaks Nursing Home, the place where he faithfully volunteered every Wednesday. Afterwards, he had taught her to skate board. She had kicked off her designer high heels and belly laughed as she had taken quite a few tumbles along the way, despite his excellent attempts at teaching. It had been fun and different and she'd had a blast.

"What are you doing here?"

Brooke opened her eyes. She had gotten lost in the memory of a moment and hadn't noticed that Chase had now noticed her. It had caught her off guard. He was so beautiful. All she wanted to do was throw her arms around him and hear that everything would be okay but the look on his face told her they were a long way from that.

"Chase…hi."

He looked away.

"Brooke, why are you here?" he asked again.

She opened her mouth but the words somehow got in the way.

"I, I don't know. I…I guess I just had to see you."

"Why?"

"We really need to talk."

He shook his head.

"I don't think so. Brooke, I don't have anything to say to you."

"I know. Um, I get that and you have every right to feel that way but I have something to say to you, a lot actually. If you could just listen…"

"Why? Why should I? I mean, seriously. Give me one good reason."

"I can give you a bunch of reasons. Because I screwed up and I'm sorry and I want to make things right. If you would just let me explain…"

"Explain what? How our whole relationship was based on lie after lie? How you're not the person I thought you were, the person you pretended to be?"

She bit her lip trying not to cry.

"It's not like that."

"Then what is it like, Brooke? No, never mind. I don't want to hear it. You've lied to me enough."

"Chase, please…"

She put her hand on his shoulder but he made a face and immediately recoiled. The reactions shocked and hurt her.

"Don't touch me."

"Fine," she swallowed hard. "I know I deserve that. I did lie to you and I am so sorry for that. I know there is nothing I could say to ever excuse that but I didn't mean for it to happen. I wasn't trying to be mean and I wasn't trying to hurt you. I know it doesn't make sense but I did it because I care about you so much."

Chase let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"You're right. That doesn't make sense. In fact, it doesn't make any sense at all. What you did was wrong and you don't treat people like that if you supposedly care about them."

"When I first met you, I had no idea I would fall for you. I didn't think it would turn into something but it did. It turned into something really great and special. Yeah, there were things you didn't know about me, some things I was ashamed of, some things I was just afraid if you found out then you wouldn't like me anymore. Now I know I should have just come clean but I got scared. I meant to tell you the truth. I wanted to tell you so many times but it was so hard."

"I was honest with you. I gave my heart to you, Brooke…"

"I know. I gave you my heart, too."

"Don't," he put his hand up to stop her.

A tear slid down her face.

"You think you're the only one that's hurt, Chase? You think this isn't hard for me, too?"

"Look, as upset as I am about all of this, I am sorry that you're hurt but you can't turn around and put it all on me. You did this to yourself, Brooke."

"I know that and now I have to live with it. That person, that girl you saw on the video…I'm not her anymore. In fact, I haven't been her for a long time. She's dead and I fought so hard to bury her. At the party that night, I was absolutely mortified! I was ashamed of what I did and who I was and the fact that the whole school was reliving my mistakes with me. I'm not perfect and I've tried to change. Doesn't that count for something? For anything?"

"It does count. People make mistakes."

"Then why can't you forgive me for mine? Why can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

"Brooke…"

She wiped her tears away.

"See? That's exactly why I couldn't tell you. Tonight and that night you look absolutely disgusted. That's exactly what I was afraid of, that if you knew the truth, you'd look at me just like you're looking at me right now. And that hurt. It still hurts. I didn't want you to think that I was a slut."

"Is that what you think this is about?"

"Chase…"

"Seeing you on the video did bother me. The fact that you've slept with a lot of guys, yeah, it does bother me but I could have gotten over that. It was before me and everybody has a past. Like you said, everybody makes mistakes. I can deal with that and I would have eventually if you had given me the chance. What gets me is the whole deception part."

"I…"

"I can't stand a liar and you lied about everything. Are you even the Student Body President or did you make that one up to?"

"I was elected last year fair and square and I can't believe you just asked me that."

"How am I supposed to know? You lied about being a tutor."

"I didn't mean to," she defended. "We were talking, getting to know each other and I was flirting. It just kind of came out, the offer to look over your Calculus. You looked at me like I was smart and you seemed so impressed. That felt good. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to spend time with you and I thought I could wing it. Sorry."

"What were your own Calculus grades?"

Brooke made a face.

"Somewhere in the low C and high D range…"

"Unbelievable. I mean, seriously. I can't believe you pulled it off."

"Haley Scott is a good friend of mine and she's the best tutor at Tree Hill High. She's the only thing that saved my ass from failing and I kind of convinced her to help me with you."

He shook his head.

"I just don't get it. I just wish you had been yourself."

"I made a lot of mistakes. I was afraid. If I could go back and do it all over and change things I would but we both know I can't. All I can do now is explain and try to apologize and hope someday, somehow you can forgive me."

"Brooke, I can't…"

"Chase, we had a really good thing going. We had something special. We were happy."

"Were, Brooke. How can we ever go back to that after everything that's happened? It won't work. It's not the same. We can't be together again and right now, I don't even know if we can be friends."

She closed her eyes. That's exactly what she had been afraid of.

"Okay," she tried not break down. "If that's how you feel, I understand. If you don't like me anymore, if you don't have feelings still, I guess I can't say that I blame you. I, um, I just had to talk to you. I had to give it a shot because if I didn't, I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. So now I know how you feel and where we stand and it's cool. I'm sorry I bothered you and I promise it won't happen again."

She took what was left of her pride and walked away even though she was dying inside.

"I still have feelings, Brooke," he called out in a soft voice.

She turned around.

"What?"

"What I felt for you was real. My heart had been broken before and I never thought I'd find another girl so great and then I found you. I fell in love with you and that's not something I take lightly. You can't help who you love and you can't turn love on and off like a light switch. I still love you."

"You do?" she whispered.

"Of course, I do."

"Oh Chase, I love you, too" she cried, running to his arms but he stopped her.

"Brooke, we can't."

"But you just said…"

"I know what I said but that doesn't change anything. I love you but what does that mean if I can't trust you?"

There were tears in his eyes as well but it was the way he felt and that was the way it had to be. And though it killed Brooke as her heart continued to ache for him, all she could do was walk away. It was over and it was her own doing. She had made her bed and now she had to lie in it.