Title: Fitting Room Troubles
Pairing: Shuda/Sieg
Warning: …Yer mind and my crack. XD Language and a very OOC Sieg.
A/N: Oh goodness gracious, this THING is stuck in my head for DAYS already. Once I finish writing this, hopefully enough, it means that all my plot bunnies have returned and I can go back to writing crack and porn. Yes, that means I can finish that tentacle-pron. XD

Fitting Room Troubles

The lady is giving him The Look when he pries the occupied room's knobless door open, but Shuda enters the stall anyway... and groans at the sight.

"It's not my fault." Sieg meekly answered.

They were in the mall, shopping for gifts to give in Christmas. He didn't even know why he's bothering with gifts, but Sieg, being the ever traditional freak, have to drag him to the freaking mall to buy gifts.

So they were stuck in the department store, looking here and there… until the horrid jeans came into view. Honestly, he doesn't know why Sieg finds fascination in jeans. Maybe it was because of Haru, but still!

So he was there, standing outside the small hallway away from the rest of the shop, waiting for the mage to finish fitting out. At first, he didn't hear it. It was the rasp tapping of the stall's door that caught his attention, then the sudden sound of groaning and moaning. Something had happened, and something must be done.

"Sieg…"

"Just… help me get rid of it!"

Shuda could feel one of his cheeks twitching. But he just sigh then kneels in front of the other, shuddering when he saw a pair of high heeled shoes outside their stall's door. Why can't they make stalls that have full doors and not just… well, these cheap kinds?

"Would you stop twitching? It's not that easy—"

"Oh gods, just hurry it up!"

Growling, Shuda tugged at the zipper of the jeans harder, making the mage gasp before fisting red hair and pulls them.

"Watch it!"

"You watch it!"

There's suppose to be one of those glaring contest again, if it wasn't for the sudden shadow outside their stall's door that tells them the lady is trying to peek from below.

"You're too loud."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're too fucking loud. Pipe down, would ya?" The last of his words are said in a low hiss, before Shuda goes back into the task at head; getting rid of the jeans. Pulling and tugging doesn't seem to work though.

"You know, I'm beginning to wonder if you did gain some weight—"

"My weight got nothing to do with this, moron."

Shuda just shrugs, tugging at the zipper harder this time. Sieg bites his bottom lip, keeping himself from yelping. The knot in his stomach is killing him, and with the way Shuda is finding pleasure in torturing him like this, it doesn't help much at all.

"Shuda…"

"Hold still… It's nearly… damn, it's hard."

"Of course it is! Do you think I will be needing your help when it isn't?!"

"Touché." This time, Shuda emphasizes it with a hard yank of the zipper, forcing Sieg to buckle. But he quickly grabs hold of the hanging mirror's edge… then the mirror give way and soon, crashing sounds off from the stall as Sieg landed hard onto the tiled floor, groin right on top of Shuda's face.

"Oww…"

"Gods… I take back what I said. You're no help at all."

"Ugh… get off of me!"

"Not until you finish getting rid of this." Sieg glared at Shuda, growling while pointing at his crotch. Shuda stares dubiously at him, silently questioning his sanity.

"Sieg, you do know where we are, right?"

"Of course I do! That's why I'm asking you to do it!"

"But—"

"Just do it! It's not like they have video cameras here!"

"…That's actually what I'm afraid of."

Sighing, Shuda pushes Sieg off of his chest and let the other straddle his hips. Hands moving back to the zipper, he gives it an experimental tug. The zipper remains stuck in those wretched jeans.

"…"

"…"

"Hun, what'll ya do when I use my knife on this?"

"…I'm not wearing jeans with holes in it, moron. Not even in the crotch area."

"Well done said, I suppose." Digging onto his right boot's knife pouch, he pulls out a short dagger and before Sieg could crawl away, he quickly grabs hold of the mage's hips and forced the dagger inside of the pants and sliced it open from the bottom of the zipper onto the top of the jeans. The sound of silver cutting through cheap metal resounds through the stall, not catching not just the lady's undying attention but that of a passing saleslady.

"Well, now we're done."

"…"

"What? I've gotten rid of it. What're you expecting?"

"…You're paying for this pair, moron. Now get out with it." Pushing the crumpled cut-jeans onto Shuda's hands, Sieg shoves him out of the stall before redressing himself and putting the mirror back on its place. Outside, Shuda leans on the stall's door and stares at two pairs of eyes, both wide and shock at the sight of him. He also notices the apparent flushes on their face.

"Uh... good morning?"

END