EXODUS

Chapter Seven: Stand Beside You

A/N: Again, I thank you stardrop!

Ruka's blue eyes watched his best friend as they got out of their dorm. Natsume still looked like his usual broody expressionless self; the difference was he looked tired. "Are you sure you're fine?"

Natsume stifled a yawn. "I'm fine. Stop fussing."

"Where did you go this morning anyway? When we woke up, you were gone."

Violet eyes shifted towards the red-eyed boy, who pressed a hand on his nape, as she walked a few steps behind them.

"Training." Natsume raised a hand to push his bangs back before shoving it back to his pocket, his red eyes searching the crowd. "How is she?"

"The doctor said she'll be fine, though she'll be feeling a little bit stiff."

"Getting squeezed by a giant tree can do that to you." Red eyes shifted to Hotaru, who suddenly stopped. "What is it?"

Hotaru blinked towards a group of people, who were creating a scene at the quad not far from them. They could hear the angry shouts of an argument, one of them which sounded familiar. "Three guesses on who's in the middle of that."

"I only need one." Frowning, Natsume was already walking into the fray. As soon as people saw them, they stepped back and made way. When they reached the front, Ruka widened his blue, blue eyes when he saw Mikan screaming at an upperclassman thrice her size. Natsume glowered when he recognized the upperclassman. Doumoto was a stupid brute who liked to bring trouble whenever he could and particularly hated his guts. Hotaru glanced at Doumoto's friends, who egging him on. She watched as he glared at Mikan; his face red and twisted with anger. She didn't like the way his big hands were fisted at his side.

The three of them turned to their right when Yuu and Anna came to them. Yuu's and Anna's faces were anxious and worried, but when they opened their mouths, Natsume raised a hand, stopping their words. Instead he watched the arguing pair. Both of them were spitting at each other like angry cats. It had been a while since the last time he saw Mikan blowing up like this. She was standing with her back towards him. He couldn't see her face, but he didn't need to see it to know that she was supremely pissed; her hands were clenched, her petite figure shaking with fury, even her pigtails snapped with every sharp jerk of her head.

"You take that back, you big, stupid, bully."

Doumoto snarled at her, his anger making his bulky figure appear bigger somehow. He was already embarrassed and provoked by the disgusted gasps and looks he got from the watching crowd. The sight of the slim and slender girl with pigtails, no less, standing up to him was too much of an insult for him to bear, especially after he knew her identity. He sneered at Mikan, and his mean dark eyes narrowed on her. "Or what?"

Mikan took one step towards him, her voice lowered to a whisper. "Or I'llmake you."

"Oooooohhh, Doumoto. She'll make you. Are you going to let her talk you to you like that?" One of his friends sneered at Doumoto, the whole lot of them laughing, angering Doumoto even more.

"Listen to me, bitch. I can say whatever I want to, whenever I want to. Besides, who's to say that it's not true? Everybody here knows what he really is."

Both Ruka and Natsume snapped to attention at his words. Ruka's blue eyes cooled as he let out an angry hiss that joined with Mikan's. It didn't take long for those words to sink in before Mikan launched herself at Doumoto, ready to claw at him in anger.

But before she could touch him, two strong hands caught her and pulled her back towards his chest. She didn't need to look to know whose arms they were. She knew those firm and gentle hands. "Let me go, Natsume-kun. Let me at him. Think of it as practice."

Not amused in the slightest, he slanted cool eyes to the twitching angry girl in his arms. He twisted her to his side and held her there, her back touching his side, his arm around her front, his other hand making its way into his pockets. His voice was easy and calm as he looked at the back of her head with a considering look, but demanding nonetheless. "What are you doing?"

Mikan was still glaring at the now quiet Doumoto, his own friends were standing behind him, tense and fearful when they realized Natsume's presence, but seeing as she was trapped by his hands, she could only cross her hands below the arm that held her. Her breathing was harsh and she was still quivering with righteous anger. "Picking a fight."

"Why?" He stared at the back of her head, her body stiff and tense in his arms.

"Just felt like it."

He glanced at Ruka's angry countenance. He knew that if they didn't get out of here quickly, he'd have his hands full with the two of them. To ease Ruka, he pushed Mikan to him, knowing that his friend wouldn't do anything stupid as long as Mikan was with him. But as he watched, Ruka held her hand and both of them glared at the band of misfits together. Natsume blinked and thought that perhaps that maybe wasn't such a good idea after all. Instead of easing back, they'd probably just gang up on the stupid prick and although that would probably be interesting to see, he decided against it.

Natsume sighed inwardly. It was good to have friends and all, but sometimes he couldn't help missing the simple and quiet days of his loner years.

"What's the matter, Hyuuga? Can't fight your own battles? You need your girlfriend to protect you?"

He turned his head to Doumoto, the annoyance in his eyes exchanged by a dark intense glare. The color of his eyes darkened even more, the look in them hard and hypnotizing. Compared to the big stout Doumoto, he was tiny, but they quailed before the look in his eyes, feeling the press of his deadly ki against their skin, their survival instincts automatically acknowledging him as a threat. Besides, it had only been two days since Natsume burned down the ancient tree at the edges of the Southern Forest and the vision of Natsume covered by his blue fire was still clear in everyone's minds.

Natsume considered what he should do, but something blurred at his right and hit Doumoto smack bang so hard on his face that he was pushed back a couple of steps. When the thing bounced back, Natsume caught it deftly with one hand and looked at it.

It was a shoe. A somewhat familiar shoe.

A swift glance behind him showed that it was indeed Mikan's shoe. Hm.

"I'm his partner, you shithead."

Yuu's shocked chiding tone made him want to laugh, but he disguised it as a cough when Hotaru sneaked a blaming look at him, but he exchanged an amused look with Ruka while he tossed the shoe back to Hotaru, who immediately smacked Mikan's head with it.

"Itaiii, Hotaru, what did you do that for?"

"Be quiet. You're already in enough trouble as it is. What if Jinno sees you?"

Mikan pouted. "He started it."

Doumoto finally recovered from the blow to his nose and stepped towards Mikan threateningly, but stopped at the lazy tone of Natsume's voice.

"Maybe she wouldn't have needed to stand up for me if only you hadn't talked behind my back." Chuckles from the crowd and the cool look from Natsume made Doumoto's face flush with shame and anger. "But then again, since I don't make a habit of listening to bullshit, I'd probably ignore you anyway." He shrugged, and then turned to his friends. "Iku yo."

Natsume ignored the shouts and insults that came from behind him. He had better things to do, like sleep, eat, or read his newest manga, than fight that stupid redneck, but then Mikan turned. Natsume's eyes shifted to look at her face for the first time today and saw something that instantly stopped all movement. He didn't even register that Ruka bumped hard against his back.

"What's that?" He asked sharply to Mikan. She blinked guiltily, a hand moving to her right cheek, covering it with her long bangs.

"What do you mean?"

Crimson eyes narrowed, firm fingers held her chin and turned her head to the side while he used his other hand to sweep her bangs aside. What he saw on her face made his blood boil and made his hands itch to crush someone's throat. Doumoto's preferably. There, on Mikan's right cheek, were the beginnings of a bruise. When his eyes searched her face, he also saw a small gash on her bottom lip and he'd been in more than enough fights to know what could cause that.

Mikan watched as Natsume's face tightened and in an attempt to pacify him, she touched her hand to the trembling fingers that held her chin. In front of her eyes, rage filled long slanted red eyes. "Natsume-kun. It's fine, really."

Yuu and Anna exchanged uneasy glances, while Ruka and Hotaru looked confused. Ruka stepped closer to Natsume, sensing something was wrong. "Natsume, what...?"

"You hit her?"

Shocked violet and blue eyes snapped towards Mikan at the low dangerous whisper. Mikan tried to hold onto Natsume's hand, willing him not to be angry, but she was pulled forward as Natsume rounded towards Doumoto; his beautiful face tense, his eyes murderous. "You hit her? You dared?"

The watching crowd backed away slowly. So did Doumoto's friends, but Doumoto was either brave, stupid, or he was so scared he couldn't move his feet.

Yuu bet on the latter.

"Crap." Ruka was also furious, but he knew that Natsume would be in a lot of trouble if he beat the crap out of Doumoto, even if he didn't use his Alice. The academy took the matter of martial arts masters kicking student ass very seriously, and in the whole academy, Natsume was as close to a master as anyone could get.

"Somebody better do something, or Doumoto is dead meat. Literally." Koko rushed to their side. "I tell you, he is not playing around."

Hotaru held Mikan back and whispered, "Act like you're in pain."

Mikan frowned at her. "What?

Ruka and the others nodded. "Good idea, Imai. Quick, Mikan. Say something, scream, whatever."

"No, he'll only dump me at the hospital again."

"Would you rather have Natsume in Persona's clutches for hurting someone as worthless as him?"

"Of course not."

"Oh, for God's sake." Anna impatiently reached for Mikan's arm and pinched her. The red haze in Natsume's eyes wavered when he heard Mikan's exclamation of pain and when he turned, he saw Mikan holding her right arm and everybody else was crowding her. His steps were fast and sharp. "What's wrong?"

Hotaru's violet eyes blinked at him. One of her feet was pressing hard on Mikan's. "I think her injuries from two days ago are catching up with her. You better take her away and check her out."

"I'm fine…" Mikan hissed when Anna's elbow dug to her still bruised ribs and they all parted when Natsume reached and ran his fingers along her arm, checking for broken bones. "Natsume-kun, really, I'm…" She paused when she saw their friends widen their eyes at her and she stifled her protest. "…just a little sore and bruised…and tired...and hungry…"

The crowds of people blinked when Natsume bent and lifted Mikan in his arms, his lips pressed together tightly, and his jaw hard. "Didn't I tell you to wait for me before getting her out of the hospital? Now look what she's gotten herself into."

"Hey, I…" She snapped her mouth closed when Natsume glared at her before shifting his eyes back towards their friends. Hotaru glanced at the people who hid behind her.

"Don't blame me. Blame these bleeding hearts."

Koko shifted his eyes away from Natsume. "Ah, Narumi-sensei is calling for me. Gotta go."

Anna clutched at Koko's back and ran with him. "I forgot. I left a cake in the oven. Get well, Mikan. I'll send you cookies."

Yuu feigned an irritated look. "Meeting. Being a class president is such a bother. Bye, guys. I'll see you later, Mikan-chan."

"I was…I didn't…" Ruka looked at his shoes. "…she begged."

Hotaru rolled her eyes at Ruka. "You better go. Take care of her."

Natsume glared at Mikan and the bruise on her face, feeling sick to his stomach at the very sight of it. He hitched her higher, her hands encircled his neck, and then he turned away. But before he walked away, he slanted vengeful eyes to Hotaru. "Say, Imai. You've just upgraded your baka gun, right?"

A small smile appeared on her face, and a big one on Ruka's. "As a matter of fact, I have, Hyuuga."

Not understanding what the hell they were all smiling about, Mikan's amber eyes blinked from over his shoulder. "I'll leave it to you then."

Ruka cracked his knuckles. "Say, Imai, you brought a spare, right?"

"Actually, I did."

Ruka smiled sweetly. "100 rabbits say I can shoot more than you."

Hotaru tossed him her spare baka gun, pleased with the promise of a challenge and the chance to strip Ruka of 100 rabbits. "You're on, Nogi."

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Natsume was pissed.

He was pissed at Doumoto, who hit her, he was pissed at Mikan for getting herself hit, and he was also pissed at himself because he was the reason for it.

He stood with his back to her, his fingers cutting off the circulation of his own arms. He was unable to face her because seeing that bruise and the cut on her lips made him want to kill someone, and it didn't help that he knew several methods of keeping the victim alive as he carefully brought them closer to death. He tried to calm himself down, but the rage was just too huge. He wanted to kill Doumoto for laying a hand on her, he wanted to wrap his hands around his throat and squeeze, and he hated it. He hated feeling this way, hated to feel that he was capable of it and he was also afraid. He was deathly afraid that one day she'd see, that she'd finally see how wrong she was about him. And then she would leave him, banishing him to the endless dark once more.

He sucked in a ragged breath and raked shaking fingers along his hair. "What were you thinking?"

Mikan lifted her eyes to his back and lowered the ice pack that he pushed at her just a couple of minutes ago, all the while showering curses on her head. She was used to him cursing at her, and she was also used to him getting angry at her and for her. But she knew that this time, she was in deep, deep trouble. Being friends with Hotaru and Natsume made her develop almost an sixth sense for trouble, and judging by the fact that he wasn't even looking at her, she was knee-deep and sinking. "Honestly? I wasn't really thinking."

The blunt honesty that he'd come to expect from her could still surprise him. He shifted his feet, but still didn't turn to her. "Do you think admitting that will earn you a cookie?"

Actually she did, but since it was obvious that it wouldn't, she shrugged. "I thought I'd just save you the time." When he only vibrated with anger, Mikan looked at her feet.

"What was the first thing that I told you when I started to teach you how to fight?"

"To keep it a secret."

"The other first thing."

"Don't pick a fight you can't win."

"And?"

"And…?"

"Did you really think that you can win against him?"

She glowered at her shoes; she hated it when he was being all condescending on her. "I might."

"Oh? How exactly? Tell me how you were going to beat a sixteen-year-old boy, who can stomp you to dust and knock you unconscious with a flick of his wrist?"

"I wasn't going to use any of the styles that you've taught me..."

"You better not. Do you even know what his Alice is?"

She winced. "No."

Natsume rubbed his face wearily. "Do you even pay attention to anything I say in practice? Because I clearly remember saying that you should never ever fight someone without knowing what they can do."

"You do it."

Sharp red eyes glared at her. "Not if I can help it and our situations are very different. My purpose is to attack while yours is to defend only yourself. Don't think that our conditions are similar because they aren't."

"My Alice..."

"All right, your Alice took care of his, and when he realized that his Alice didn't work, he hit you, didn't he?"

"I was surprised. I could've dodged it."

"But you didn't."

"It was only once."

"Because I came in right on time."

"Why are you so mad?"

"I taught you so you could defend yourself, not to pick fights."

"I know that."

"Then why did you?"

"I just…it's nothing."

"It is not nothing." He jerked her chin up, but after his eyes landed on the bruise, his eyes shifted to an imaginary dot on her forehead. "This is not nothing. What if you fell and hit your head? What if he hit you with his fist instead of his open hand? What if he backhanded you and snapped your scrawny neck?"

"My neck is not scrawny. And how do you know he hit me with an open hand? Besides, it's only a bruise. I usually get more from Hotaru's baka guns." She sniffed angrily and started to stand.

"Sit down." Shocked with the low and harsh tone of his voice, Mikan immediately followed the command, then mentally smacked herself because she did.

His hands on his hips, Natsume tilted his head to the sky, taking deep breaths, trying to control his anger, but it filled him. Taunted him. "What did he say?"

"What?"

"He said something about me. What was it?"

Her usually candid eyes slipped slowly to her right. "He didn't say anything about you."

"You want me to guess? Was it murderer? Assassin? Monster? Killer? Do I need to go on?"

Mikan's hands clenched in her lap. Noticing that and even as dread settled in his stomach, he looked towards the side and confessed. "Whatever he called me, it's true."

Her head snapped towards him, her guilty eyes angry once more. "No, it's not."

"Yes,it is." He turned towards her, willing her to understand, needing her to understand. He'd be damned before he'd let her get hurt because of him or let someone use him to hurt her. "You don't know who I am. What I do. Not really. What you see is the little boy who comes home with blood all over his body, wounded and defeated. That's not who I am now. I chose to do this, this is my choice, and this is my life. This is who I am."

"Iknow." Mikan cut him off, her voice insistent. "I know all of that. Like I know that you suffer because of it, have nightmares over it." Raw angry crimson met understanding sad amber. "Ojii-san always said a character of a person is not only judged by his actions or his words, but also by their reasons behind it."

"I know why you do the things you do. I know who you are and contrary to what you think, I seewho you are. This place might not be paradise, but it is our home, and you are doing your best to protect it, to protect us." Mikan clenched her hands on the ice pack. "That's why I'm so angry. To have them look at you the way they do, talk the way they do when you endanger your life again and again for the sake of the academy, for their safety, but look at how they treat you." Mikan bit her bottom lip, tears starting to heat her eyes.

Natsume eyed her quietly, touched, but worried and angrily frustrated all the same. "Then you should know that it doesn't matter to me what other people say."

"Yes, it does." Her amber eyes stared at him, daring him to deny it.

He wanted to look at her, but his hands were still shaking inside his pockets, and he was still feeling so angry. He couldn't touch her, didn't want her close while so much ugliness curled inside of him. And the darkening bruise on her face was a sight that he couldn't bring himself to see because in his mind, it served as further proof that she didn't belong anywhere near him, that he had no business being with her.

Natsume glanced at her, caught the misery and angry tears in her eyes, and ached. She's better off without me. She always cries when she's with me. Not knowing any other way to deal with the pain and self disappointment because once again he had managed to upset her, and against the feeling of helplessness because he didn't know how to say pretty words to comfort her, his voice was cool, his eyes were icy when he finally looked at her. "People will always say things. Do you plan on beating all of them?"

"I didn't do anything wrong." The stubborn look on her face only provoked his anger.

"In my missions I kill, I destroy lives, homes. I steal, I deceive." His anger gave him the strength to finally stand in front of her and look her dead in the eyes. "That makes me a killer, a destroyer, a thief and a liar. " He raised a hand and immediately covered it with fire. He waved his hand in front of her face, letting her feel the heat, letting her see it dance in front of her eyes. "While this makes me a monster."

He stared at her confused expression and bit back a curse. She doesn't understand.

What was I thinking? How can I ever think that I can be worthy enough, that I can be good enough to deserve her?

Years before, on that day when he finally gave into her, gave into the clamoring need of his heart that ached for her after arduous, painful months where he tried so hard to keep her away, he promised himself, promised Kami and whoever was out there watching, that if they only gave him a chance, if they allowed him to have her in his life, allowed him to accept her care and her smiles, allowed him to be with her, he'd devote every second of his pathetic life to take care of her and to prove that he was worth it, that he'd earn every touch, every smile she sent his way and by God, he'd do his damnedest to make her happy even if it killed him.

Feeling impossibly moved by her tears, by her loyalty, and the fact that she cared for him, it terrified him: how fearless she was, how she felt absolutely sure that he was worth fighting for and hurting for.

His eyes slid to the bruise that marred her fair skin and his stomach turned over. One of his greatest fears was that one day, Mikan would get involved in one of his problems, with one of his enemies and that time, she wouldn't be able to get out of it so easily.

Even the thought of it was unbearable to him, so he shut his eyes tight against the image of her broken and lifeless, and he turned his back on her.

"Natsume-kun. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But, but I still don't think I did anything wrong."

He didn't answer, but the silence between them was less quiet than one would have expected. When he finally talked, his voice was flat and devoid of any emotion. "Are you alright? Can you walk?"

She blinked. "Uh, yes."

Without a word he walked away, but stopped when he felt her fingers pulling on his sleeve. Natsume jerked his hand away from her angrily. "Don't follow me. I want to be alone. "Mikan saw a muscle on his jaw tick. "I can't look at you right now."

Natsume took hurried steps without even glancing back at her. He knew he hurt her, but he couldn't help it. Because with her stubbornness and not realizing his need for her to be safe, to be happy, she was hurting him too.

--------

THUNK!

Natsume flipped the red handled tanto in his hand, his finger searching for its balance, weighing it in his palm. With a flick of his wrist, maintaining the follow-through of his lower arm, the tanto hit the tree bark with a dull sound. Dead center.

He sensed her far longer before he heard her and he knew that she also knew that. He was not surprised when she stopped a couple of meters behind him without announcing her presence and just stood there, watching. He could feel her cool gaze on his back, on his hands, observing his motions, his skill with the tanto.

Both of them valued silence and appreciated the advantages that came from a good observation.

THUNK!

Another tanto sunk into the poor tree that was already riddled with scars.

"I thought you're not allowed to hold weapons unless it's on missions."

Strong fingers gripped and pulled the six tantos free and he walked back to where he stood to start all over again. "Officially." He shrugged and held one in his hand. "Besides, this was a gift from the ever thoughtful Persona for my twelfth birthday. Custom-made." He lifted one and held it in front of his face. The red handle gleamed as brightly as his eyes. "It even matches my eyes."

Hotaru eyed the boy in front of her; she knew that he was in a bad mood and she didn't even need to guess its cause. It was obvious from the look on Mikan's face when they saw her sitting alone in the cafeteria with a stubborn, yet defeated, look on her face while Natsume was nowhere near her.

"Did you come to yell at me?"

Hotaru squinted her violet eyes as the tanto sailed straight in the air and stabbed the bark. If it was a human, it would've lost an eye. "Do you want me to? But it'll cost you." The scoff was almost a laugh as Natsume sent another to join its brother on the tree. "Does that really help?"

THUNK!

Natsume flipped another and looked at his reflection on the sharp, sharp blade. "Sometimes."

Hotaru held out her hand for one. His paranoia made his eyes shift to the girl's face, measuring her and caught the amused look on her face. Feeling pretty silly himself, he handed her one and watched as she ran her elegant fingers on it, touching it as if she was reading Braille. "I read once that to have power, to have true power is like holding a naked blade in your hand. You can hurt, but you can also get hurt. If you are afraid to get hurt, then you will never gain your true potential. On the other hand, if you are too reckless, you will only lose yourself before you reach it."

Natsume blinked when with a quick twist of her arm, Hotaru threw the tanto in the air and sunk it into the tree, aligning with the others. Violet eyes met his, strangely unnerving, irritatingly wise. "The true path to power is through respect and acceptance. Respect the power, respect its ability to hurt and to heal, to protect and to destroy, and accept that there are things that even true power cannot change, like fate, love, and the minds of men."

Natsume took out a cloth out of his pocket and wiped the surface of the tanto in his hand. Respect and acceptance, he mused. He knew what or who she was referring to. "Minds of men, huh? Ever heard of absolute power corrupts?"

Hotaru lifted another tanto and eyed its point in such a way that made him nervous. "I believe that if a good man is given power, he will still be good."

"I thought you were a realist, Imai. Is baka's optimistic self rubbing off on you?"

Hotaru gave him a glance that said, 'Don't be stupid'. "I have a specimen."

"Do tell."

"Tobita Yuu."

Natsume blinked. It was true enough he supposed, his duties as class president and his role as the uncontested honor student gave Yuu power, enough power to bail both him and Mikan out of sticky situations when the occasions called for it, but it just wouldn't do to admit that she was right, although by the look on her face, she already knew that he knew that she was right.

Natsume sneered just for principle. "He's not good. He's just meek." Which was, he justified the insult, also true in a way.

Hotaru didn't comment, but gave his tanto back. Before she walked away completely, she looked at him from the corner of her eyes. "Respect and acceptance, Hyuuga."

He realized what she meant and he even understood it. But of course, no matter how many people speculated about it, she was still a girl and being a girl she didn't understand a man's need to keep his solemn oath. A man's need to protect the things he cared about most. It was not only because of principle or self dignity or ego. It was more basic than that. It was there inside any man, the huge capacity to offer violence to anything that threatened what he thought of as his. The kind of aggression that even million of years of evolution had not been able to obliterate completely.

But how the hell could he protect her when she persisted on jumping head-first into every dangerous situation? The least she could do was to wait for him to back her up, but nooo, she just had to play hero. She just stepped right on up without sparing a thought about the consequences, and even with a bruise the size of a man's hand on her cheek, she still didn't admit that she was wrong. How many times would they have to fight about this? Didn't she know that every time she did this, he experienced small heart attacks? He should shake her, tie her up, and lock her in his room indefinitely. Failing that, he should tackle and kiss her stupid until she followed every damn thing that he told her. He mulled on that idea for a bit; it was interesting enough to fantasize about, not to mention it'd ease his anger, even for a little bit.

The image of the bruise blossoming on her cheek put a damper on it though, and when he heard the incessant ringing of the school bell, he squelched the urge to scream, but finally channeled his anger towards burning a tree.

If a good man is given power, he will still be a good man.

Natsume eyed the charred tree and wondered which category he was in.