Yay! Second part of "Pimp My Sasuke, One More Time!"
I wanna thank all my reviewers:
ipcyress
KiKi-Burgandy
Kyuusho Yume
A Dollop A Daisy
shinji the good sharer
Bio-Electric Anemone
Gingerbread Pancake
EvilFuzzy9
ICHEWBUBBLEGUM
And, as promised, pimp plushies! -gives reviewers plushies, and snuggles one herself- I heart my pimp plushies…
Anyway, let's get started with the second chapter.
RECAP: Sweet, little Sasuke still has the delusion that he wants to be a 12-year-old pimp with his partner-in-crime, Naruto. He has decided to ask /men/ to be prostitutes, this time, instead of women in hopes of not getting his ass kicked so often.
Disclaimer: Me no own, so you no sue.
/Ichiraku Ramen Bar/
"So, how are we gonna do this? Huh, Sasuke?" Naruto asked in between slurps of his ramen.
"Well, let's think. Our male prostitutes need to be hot in the female eye. Meaning, we need guys with fan girls," Sasuke explained, sipping his green tea.
"That's a good idea. But, who?"
"Hm…well, who has fan girls?"
"We do."
Sasuke blinked. "Yeah, but we're the pimps. We can't whore ourselves out. So, next potentials."
The area around the boys went silent in thought.
"We could ask Neji. All sorts of people think he's hot," Naruto suggested, slurping his seventh bowel.
"Yeah. We'll ask Neji. We could ask Asuma, too. He's….hot, I guess…"
"Oh! And Gaara! Let's ask Gaara!" Naruto almost spilled his ramen.
"Um…let's focus on Konoha before we go to other villages. But, on that note, we can ask my big, stupid brother, too. And any other Akatsuki member that could be considered hot."
"Yeah. But…I'm not sure I wanna be there. Your brother and his partner are kinda after me…" Naruto scratched the back of his head.
"Eh. Don't worry about it. Itachi won't kidnap you as long as we offer him something. Like Burger King. The Akatsuki like Burger King."
"O…kay. What about Kakashi and Iruka-sansei? They have fan girls."
Thinking back to the previous encounter with Iruka and recalling that he was still kinda mad at Kakashi, Sasuke simply said, "Let's save them for last."
"Alright. So, who are we looking at: Neji, Asuma, Gaara, your brother, hot Akatsuki members, Kakashi, and Iruka. That all?" Naruto asked, looking at his fingers that were holding count.
"Hm…Add that Genma guy and I think that is. If we come upon any other 'hot' guy, we'll ask. But, promise me something, okay Naruto?"
"Sure, Sasuke. What?"
"Let me do all the talking? You just stand there and agree to whatever it is that I say like the good dobe you are, okay?"
Naruto growled, then ate more ramen. "I'll consider it, teme."
"Good," Sasuke flatly replied, sipping some more of his tea. This is going to be one hell of an experience.
/Team Gai Training Session/
As Might Gai taught his favorite student, Rock Lee, a 'super-cool' kicking move and Tenten, the weapons mistress, worked on a new attack, Hyuuga Neji sat in a tree, resting.
Well, he was resting until he was kidnapped! Yes, Naruto and Sasuke managed to kidnap THE Hyuuga Neji because said genius was not paying attention…
/Behind Some Rock/
"AH! What the hell?" Neji cursed, landing on his butt as he was dropped. "Uchiha, Uzumaki! What the hell are you two morons doing!"
"Well, we were kidnapping you, but I guess you're too dumb to realize that. Some prodigy…" Naruto scoffed, crossing his arms.
"Why, you little…I'll kill you!" Neji threatened and stood up, his Byakugan activated and ready to destroy the smart-mouth Kyuubi container.
"Naruto! I thought we agreed to let me do all the talking! So, shut the hell up!" Sasuke commanded, hitting his blond partner upside the head and straightening his appearance up. "Hyuuga-kun. My associate and I have something important that we'd like to discuss with you."
Neji deactivated his Byakugan and sat on the ground. "Well, what is it? I was trying to relax before you two came along."
"Hyuuga-kun, if you recall about a month ago, Uzumaki-kun and I came to you seeking your advice with our-"
"Prostitution ring, I remember. Can you please get to the point?" Neji interrupted.
"Oh. Well, yes, I suppose I could. Anyway, Hyuuga-kun, Naruto and I…well…how to put this…"
"Sasuke and I screwed up real bad trying to pimp women. So, we've decided to pimp men and are asking you to be apart of Konoha's first ever male prostitution ring!" Naruto explained, cutting the young Uchiha off. "Well, what do you say Neji?"
Neji was dumbfounded. Has they just asked what he thought they just asked…? "You two must be completely out of your minds! I would never consider doing anything like that! I can't believe that you two idiots would have the audacity to, not only kidnap me, but ask me to be a male prostitute! I have never been so infuriated in my entire life!" Neji bellowed, the rage he was feeling very evident.
Naruto and Sasuke took refuge behind a near-by tree to escape the wrath of Neji. After a couple of minutes of yelling, Neji ran back to his team, anxious to vent his frustrations. Sorry, Lee…
Naruto blinked. "Is he gone?" he whispered.
"I think so," Sasuke whispered back.
They came out from behind the tree and looked around. Neji wasn't anywhere in sight and according to his chakra, he had gone back to his team. They sighed in relief. They didn't die by the hands of a mad Hyuuga.
Sasuke hit Naruto in the head again. "Dobe! You said that you would let me handle the talking! But, you screwed up our first potential prostitute. Next time, shut up!"
"You know what, FINE! I'll let you handle the talking that way you can see that you can screw up without my help!" Naruto retorted, rubbing his poor, aching head. Sakura's hits still hurt worse, though…
"Whatever," Sasuke sighed. "Let's just go find Asuma…"
"Okay."
And with that, the boys ran off to locate the jounin that had the possibility of having lung cancer.
/Team 10 Training Session/
"Keep your guard up, Ino!" Asuma shouted, lighting up another cigarette. These kids could be so…well…
"Aw, man. This is really troublesome," Nara Shikamaru stated in his usual lazy tone.
"Shikamaru! You're not even doing anything! Me and Choji are doing all the work!" Yamanaka Ino complained, pointing at a guy eating a bag of potato chips.
"Yeah. For real. You're just staring up at the damn clouds again," the guy eating the potato chips, Akimichi Choji, said, stuffing another three or four chips into his mouth.
'Aw, man. I really need to get away from these brats…' Asuma thought, observing the argument of his team. A tap on his shoulder caught his attention, though, and Sarutobi Asuma was face-to-face with our two pimp posers.
"Hello, Asuma-san," the boys greeted in sync, with the waves to match.
Asuma raised an eyebrow. "What do you terrors want? Why aren't you training with your own team?"
"Our training session broke-up early. Apparently, our kunoichi and sensei had other matters to attend to," Sasuke explained, he and Naruto taking seats on either side of the jounin.
"I see. So, why break-up my team's session? And why hasn't Blondie over here said anything yet?" Asuma interrogated, pointing to Naruto for reference to 'blondie.'
"I'm not feeling well," Naruto answered, looking to Sasuke for approval of his answer, which he got.
"Right. Listen, Asuma-san. I have a few questions for you," Sasuke said, looking serious.
"Um, sure. Go ahead."
"Do you like women?"
"You saying I'm gay?" Asuma raised an eyebrow.
"No."
"Oh. Well…yeah…"
"Do you like getting laid?"
"Yeah."
"Do you like money"
"Hell yeah."
"Then I have the perfect profession for you, Asuma-san."
"Really? And what is that, Sasuke-kun?"
"Male prostitution."
Asuma blinked, then busted out laughing. "Are you two still bent on being pimps? Kakashi told us that you two were done with that! But, I guess he was wrong! And, now instead of women, you're going to whore out men, is that right?"
The boys numbly shook their heads.
"Oh! Oh, this is rich! Boys, listen. Give up this crazy ambition of ever becoming pimps, okay? It's not going to happen!" Asuma laughed more as Sasuke and Naruto stormed off.
"We'll show him, Naruto," Sasuke muttered.
"So, where to next, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, growing a little concerned for his teammate and, dare I say it, best friend.
"Get packed," Sasuke answered. "We're going to Sunagakure."
And, they're off to Suna!
I saw Superman Returns yesterday. Kevin Spacey is the most kick ass Lex Luthor EVER!
Anyway, read and review. If you do, I'll give you a bowel of ramen!
Naruto: RAMEN!
LGF: -blinks- Review soon, or else I won't have any ramen left…-locks the ramen in the closet in hopes Naruto won't find it- ;)
Updated:7/8