Hi People! I'm here with the next chapter! I already know what you're thinking, Will the stupidity never end? Weeeeelll, no. Read the summary! Sorry it took so long to update, I'm too lazy to write!
Disclaimer: If you think that I own Naruto, the Eagles, or anything, then you are very stupid...
#8- Football!
"Touchdown!" The crowd roared and cheered, especially 2 Beautiful Green Beasts of Konaha. Who are these 2 you ask? Neji and Tenten. Yes, Neji and Tenten.
What? They're not the Beautiful Green Beasts of Konaha?
Right.
-Ahem-
They weren't really Neji and Tenten, they were Lee and Gai!
What? They're not either?
KAKASHI AND SASUKE!
That's just wrong.
O.K. Before you get even more lost, let me explain what's going on.
Team Gai and Team Kakashi are at an Eagles game. They have front row tickets, and Kakashi and Sasuke are even more enthusiastic than Lee and Gai! If that's possible...
Now, I bet your wondering where Sasuke came from. Well, I'm not gonna tell you.
Unless...
You give me ramen.
You haven't given me ramen yet.
What do you mean Naruto ate all the Ramen in the world!
Fine then. I'm not gonna tell you.
O.K. I will.
After the Neji in Spandex incident, Sasuke went back to Orichimaru, right? Well, that night, Orichimaru, the gay pedophile, tried to rape Sasuke. So, he came back. Luckily, everything was back to normal. Except for Lee and Gai dragging an unconscious Neji to the Hyuuga place... but there could be many reasons for that.
So here he is!
Moving on...
KILL MICHEL JACKSON!
-cough-
-ahem-
Anywho, after they had gotten their delectable, equisive, game-side treats (hotdogs, cheeseburgers, and beer), they found their seats in the front row, they were bombarded by fat, noisy, and green/white Eagles fans. They were all knocked out.
When they all woke up, five minutes later, they were knocked out at the sight of Choiji and Jiraiya singing the national anthem.
When they all woke up, three minutes, twenty-six seconds later, they heard the roar of the fans and the flashing of cameras, as David Akers kicked the opening kickoff. As soon as the guy on the other team (A/N- I can't think of one. I only know enough about the Eagles to tell you the players...) caught the ball, Tenten thought, "This isn't such a bad game. All they have to do is get the ball from each other team." Just then, Jeremiah Trotter tackled the guy, and broke his spine. The crowd went wild!
"Oh, shit!" Tenten thought, then noticed something. Lee was being unusually quiet...
So she turned slowly, shark attack music playing...
Dun dunt, dun dunt, dun dunt, DUN DUN DUN DUND, DUN DUN DUN DUND, DU-
She finally got a move on and looked to her left.
Guess what?
THERE WAS A SEAT!
AND NOT JUST ANY SEAT!
LEE'S SEAT!
BUT THERE WAS NO LEE!
Oh the horror.
"Gai-sensei! Lee's missing!"
Gai looked up from his delectable, equisive, game-side treat (beer) and intelligently said "What?"
Oh, how the great succumb to the hands of football... I love it!
"Lee's missing!"
Gai looked at Lee's empty seat. "So he is."
"Where is he?"
Gai shrugged, then went back to his delec- er, ya know.
Tenten turned to Neji, who was on her right, (A/N- This is how they're sitting- Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Gai, Kakashi. Sakura wanted to sit next to Sasuke, but then she would talk through the game, so instead she got put next to Lee... Poor Sakura...) and asked him, "Where's Lee?"
He pointed to the field.
THERE STOOD LEE!
He was holding a map, looking very confused.
Neji said, "He had to go to the bathroom."
"Oh my..." Tenten whispered.
Just then, the snap, when the center throws the ball to the quarter back and says Hike, happened, and Donavan McNabb looked for L.J. Smith, and instead saw Lee. Soooo, he threw it to him.
Lee looked around, then saw a UFO flying towards him. Being an idiot, he caught it. He stared at it. Started some more. More staring. Still staring.
Then everyone on the other team's defense came charging at him.
Lee just looked at them, looked at the ball, then looked up just to be tackled.
Everyone cheered!
"Is he O.K.?" Tenten asked Neji.
"Who cares?"
"..."
"Didn't think so."
Everyone finally got off of Lee, who was now on his back on the floor, twitching.
"You okay?" The Ref. asked Lee.
"So many... so big... so painful... so... so...I like cheese..." Lee mumbled.
"CLEAR!" The medic screamed, rubbing two balloons together.
He then shocked Lee, who immediately jumped up and was revived.
"What were you doing on the field?" The ref asked.
"I was looking for the bathroom." Lee replied.
"Oh. It's down the hall to the right."
"…I don't have to go anymore..."
So, Lee returned to his seat like nothing ever happened.
The game continued uneventfully, unless you count 22 big fat guys tackling each other, until...
Tenten noticed Lee was being unusually quiet, again. Now, Lee being unusually quiet once is a miracle, twice is the apocalypse.
So she turned slowly, shark attack music playing...(Again)
Dun dunt, dun dunt, dun dunt, DUN DUN DUN DUND, DUN DUN DUN DUND, DU- (Again)
She finally got a move on and looked to her left.(Again)
Guess what?(Again)
THERE WAS A SEAT!(AGAIN!)
AND NOT JUST ANY SEAT!(AGAIN)
LEE'S SEAT! (AGAIN)
BUT THERE WAS NO LEE! (AGAIN)
Oh the horror.(Again)
"Gai-sensei! Lee's missing!" (Again)
Gai looked up from his delectable, equisive, game-side treat (beer) and intelligently said "What?" (Again)
Oh, how the great succumb to the hands of football... I love it! (Again)
"Lee's missing!" (Again)
Gai looked at Lee's empty seat. "So he is." (Getting tired?)
"Where is he?" (I am.)
Gai shrugged, then went back to his delec- er, ya know. (Ya! It's over!)
Anywho, she then looked to the field and-
"OH MY GOD!" She screamed, upon seeing Lee once again on the field, this time holding a piece of paper and a pen.
Reggie Brown came charging down the field, he was in perfect position to score a touchdown when-
SKID.
Reggie skidded to a stop, right in front of Lee.
"Hi! I'm getting everybody's autograph. Can I have yours?" Lee asked, holding out the piece of paper and pen. Reggie just dropped the ball and walked of the field saying, "I quit."
-In the Giftshop-
Gai, who was now quit drunk due to his delectable, equisive, game-side treat (beer), was looking around the gift shop when he saw those inflatable helmet things.
He looked at them, then in a drunken stupidity, roared and picked two up and ran towards the door.
"That'll be $25.50." The cashier said.
Gai looked at him.
He looked back.
Gai looked at him.
He looked back.
Gai bit off his head.
-On the Field-
Lee looked at the football Reggie had dropped. He picked it up.
Then he heard, "Lee! Catch!"
Gai came running onto the field, an inflatable helmet on his head, another one in his hand. He then threw it. It flew, in slow motion, over the heads off all the players, when Lee caught it, and stared at it starry eyed.
He then determinedly stuck the thing on his head, picked up the football, and charged towards the end zone.
Gai took out the entire opposing team, including the cheerleaders! With Gai's strength and Lee's speed, they were an unstoppable force.
"Touchdown!" The crowd roared and cheered! Especially 2 beautiful Green Beasts of Konaha, Kakashi and Sasuke.
I told you this in the beginning so I can get to the good part without having to go through explaining everything.
"Oh, wow." Tenten muttered, upon seeing her sensei just tackle 11 guys, and her team mate score a touchdown. "I just hope they give it up now and don't continue playing."
"Too late." Neji said. He then pointed to the huddle, where Lee and Gai stood, each with a number painted on their back in black paint. Gai was 13, and Lee was a backward 7. (Gai apparently painted on Lee's number...)
So, Lee and Gai played football, won the game 140-0, and they all went home happy.
-The Next Day at Training-
Lee happily skipped towards the training grounds, when he saw Gai-sensei sitting on a rock, with Neji and Tenten staring sadly down at him.
"Gai-sensei!"
"…"
"Gai-sensei!"
"…"
Lee ran towards Gai, ready for their "happy moment" when-
"SHUT UP, LEE!"
"Gai-sensei?" Lee squeaked. What was wrong with him?
Gai sighed then groaned.
"Okay, students. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means?"
Lee raised his hand. "Doesn't it mean you're drunk or something?"
"No." Gai said sternly. Then, he smiled and his eyes turned into those weird n.n things. "It means I was drunk yesterday."
"No kidding." Neji mumbled.
"Enough of that, let's get to training." Gai said jumping up.
"Wait!" Lee screamed.
Everyone turned towards him.
"I have an announcement." Lee said in a very business like voice. "I am quitting being a ninja."
Everyone gasped. Then, Tenten reached into her pocket and handed Neji $20.
(You see, Neji betted both Lee and Tenten $20 that Gai-sensei was a pickle, and Tenten forgot to pay him, and finally remembered…)
"Lee! How could you?" Gai cried, hangover completely forgot.
"I'm going to…" Lee pulled of the Spandex suit to reveal a football uniform, including cleats, helmet, and black face paint, "PLAY FOOTBALL! HWAAAA!"
Neji and Tenten just blinked, while Gai said, "OH LEE! THAT IS SO YOUTHFUL! I WILL ALSO GIVE UP BEING A NINJA TO BE YOUR COACH!"
He then pulled of his Spandex suit to reveal a pink tutu, complete with slippers, tights, and a frilly skirt.
They all just stared at each other for 3 seconds, then Gai wordlessly pulled of the tutu to reveal a coach uniform complete with a striped shirt, visor, and whistle.
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"BRRRR!"
Gai blew the whistle at Lee, who was 2 feet in front of him, which made Lee jump, and screamed, "RUN! RUN LEE RUN!" The two then ran off towards the sunset.
Neji and Tenten just looked at each other, then Neji said "They'll be back."
Tenten nodded, they then proceeded to train.
-Later that Day-
Lee and Gai trudged back to the training grounds, covered in bruises and dirt. When Neji and Tenten saw them, Neji said, "Told you they'd be back."
"Shut up." Lee and Gai said in unison before passing out.
MINI-STORY!
Right, I'm going to right a mini 2-shot! Here it is!
Lee and Neji stood facing each other across the training grounds.
Then, Lee reached into his pocket and pulled out 4 shuriken. He threw them at Neji, who deflected them with his Kaiten. Then, Lee snuck up behind him, going in for a punch to the back, but Neji blocked it, then tried to hit him with Jyuuken, but Lee evaded him. He then hopped into the trees. Neji followed. They stood in their spots for a few minutes, then leapt towards each other, both ready to punch the crap out of each other, when
TENTEN CAME OUT OF NO WHERE AND PUSHED THEM OF A CLIFF!
GAME OVER
Tenten punched her fist in the air, while Neji and Lee both stared at the screen, twitching.
"I thought this was a private fight…" Lee said.
"Who wants to play Dance Dance Revolution?" Neji asked, looking to his right at Tenten and his left at Lee.
"Oh, Me!" They said in unison.
Who will win? Who will lose? Only you can decide. Tell me when you review who should win this battle of wits, reflexes, and sick dance skills. Tune in next time to find out!
Yep, that's it! My longest story yet! I'm so proud of myself! It took me over 3 weeks to finish this, including brainstorming, writing, typing, posting…
REVIEW! OR ELSE!
I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!
Next up: Gai's House Party