Chapter 11: Bathroom Business
They had been studying, and hanging out, for a few hours when Hermione finally sighed and stood up around 9:30, saying that it was time for her to head out on her patrols.
"Patrols? This early? It's only the second night, Hermione." Harry complained. He hadn't gotten to talk to Professor McGonagall at all; she'd been busy in a meeting all day and he hadn't been able to change his room assignment yet. To pass the time, he'd been hanging out with Hermione which, of course, involved, (gag, yuk) doing the copious amounts of homework that the teachers had already piled on them.
Now that their homework was done, Harry was finally starting to relax, and she had to leave? That would leave him alone in the company of a bunch of people who were dying to know what had happened between him and Ron. Or, worse yet, he was going to be left in the company of Ron himself, and THAT was a most unpleasant thought.
"I'm afraid so, Harry. After all, I am a prefect now, and part of my duty as a prefect is to patrol the halls at night to catch kids who sneak out of their beds." Hermione stood, packing the last of her books and papers up for the night.
"Yeah, I know," Harry sighed, "I guess I just don't want to be alone right now."
"You don't want to be alone? How do you think I feel? I've got to patrol with Mr. Bad Temper himself." Hermione said disgustedly.
"You what? You do?" Harry queried.
"Yeah, he's a prefect, remember?" Hermione raised her eyebrows.
"Oh, yeah! That's great!" Harry's eyes lit up and his smile widened.
"Yeah, great." Hermione said sourly.
"Sorry, Hermione, but I'm glad that I'm not the one to go patrolling with him tonight. At least he still seems to like you. Most days I'm pretty certain he would almost rather see me dead than see me at all." Harry shook his head.
"Don't say such things, Harry, it's not so bad." Hermione admonished softly. "He'll come 'round one of these days, you'll see."
"They are, Cat, and you know it. But thanks for trying to cheer me up anyway." Harry smiled slightly at her before standing up. "Go on." He said, making shoo-ing motions with his hands, "You've got some hallways to patrol, and I've got some room arrangements to figure out. Maybe I can get one of the guys in the other rooms to switch with me."
"Is that such a good idea?" Hermione asked, on the verge of leaving. "After all, you don't know any of the other guys in our year. You'll be moving in with a total stranger."
"Yeah, I know, but it's not like I can stay where I am, is it? At this point, I'd rather live with a stranger than live with him, it's just too awkward." Harry shrugged, "Besides, the guys just stare at me when I walk in the room and I can tell they are just desperate to ask what happened, and one of these days, one of them will."
"Would that be so bad? You could just tell them, and then they wouldn't keep staring at you." Hermione shifted her bag a bit in her hand.
"Not really, because then they'll feel like they should do something to help and that just isn't what I want to happen. At this point, I'm rather relieved not to be friends with him anymore, and I don't want to have to tell anyone that, it'll just cause more of a ruckus, which is what I'm trying to avoid in the first place." Harry shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "Also, I've got to hide Serin, and that'll be easier with a bunch of guys who don't know me and my habits. Over all, I'd just rather leave and be done with it."
Hermione nodded her head. "Well, I guess it's up to you, but, somehow, I just can't see you rooming with a different bunch of guys."
"It will be strange." Harry admitted.
"That's true." Hermione agreed.
"…" Harry smiled. "Go on. You've got patrol, and I'm still keeping you. We've got time to talk later."
"Sure." Hermione turned and dashed up to her dorm.
A moment later she was back down, everything stashed away, presumably neatly, save for her wand, which went in the side pocket of her robes. As she headed for the door, Hermione paused, before running over to Harry and giving him a quick, but fierce hug. "You know I love you, right?" She said in a rush.
"Uhh." Harry stuttered. "No…Yes…" He waived his hands uselessly behind her, unsure of what to do or say in the face of such a statement.
"It's okay, Harry." Hermione said, pulling away with a smile. "I don't expect you to say the same in return; I just wanted you to know that I do love you. And that's something I never expected to say to anyone but family." She patted him on the cheek softly with one hand, apparently enjoying his look of red-faced embarrassment. "Don't stay up all night!" Hermione called and walked away with a bright smile and a jaunty wave, leaving Harry standing alone, still spluttering mentally.
ooOO00OOoo
As she walked to the meeting place for all prefects about to begin their nightly rounds, Hermione couldn't help but hum softly to herself in satisfaction. She usually considered herself to be an observant soul and it had come to quite a shock when Hermione had come to the realization that Harry never said, "I love you," to anyone.
Amongst family and close friends, it was common for people to say, and most times, mean, a friendly "I love you," even if only said playfully. Harry never did. He rarely instigated hugs, and the only touch he offered voluntarily was the consolatory kind.
And he never talks about his home life anymore. Not since Ron and the twins helped him escape from the room they had locked him in that one time. No matter what we ask, or how carefully we phrase the words, Harry only clams up when we mention his aunt and uncle. Maybe I can get him to relax a little bit. If he doesn't chill out soon, he's going to crack, and who knows what'll happen then .Of course, I'm not sure how much good I'll be to him if I don't manage to chill out myself. She thought. After all, I've got quite a bit on my plate right now as well, and my stress level is a little on the high side. It has been for a while now, and with O.W.L.'s starting this year, things are going to be crazy enough as-is. Maybe I should find a hobby, something I can really sink my teeth into and run with. Hermione paused in the hallway as this new thought struck her. Yes! A hobby! Something to do when I need to unwind that doesn't involve more studying.
Hermione, for all of her bookish enthusiasm and her uncanny knack to understand things on the deepest level, still could get tired of studying and learning , just like any other normal person. It just took her longer than most. But if I could find a hobby that was both relaxing and mentally stimulating… her thoughts trailed off as she contemplated the various things she could take up doing. Harry seemed to favor flying, but that was out of the question for Hermione. She'd flown as high and as fast as was necessary to achieve a passing grade in the flight class first year, and had completely skipped on the rest of the classes, which were, fortunately, optional. Flying and divination were the only two classes that Hermione had taken in her whole life that she did not feel an overwhelming urge to get a perfect grade in. Perhaps that is because I thought they were both such stupid classes. I mean, why bother learning how to fly if you can just apparate? Or, even better, walk? Of course, there are the anti-apparation wards, but those don't bother me too much. Hermione brought one recently manicured fingernail up to her mouth and taped delicately on her lower lip with the tip of one finger. But a hobby will be difficult to find. I'll have to find one that'll last me a lifetime, these temporary hobbies are fun, but the end is always a little bid depressing, since I'm once again left without something to do in my free time. Nodding sagely, Hermione glanced up and realized that she had been dawdling in the hallway long enough, and had better get going or she'd bee horribly late for the prefects meeting.
In true Hermione fashion, she walked in just as the clock in the great hall announced, in its magically enhanced and pleasing voice, that it was now midnight and all good students were to be in their dorms.
"Ah, here you are, Hermione. Right on time." Professor McGonagall said as she walked up to the group congregated at the foot of the head table. "We're just waiting on a few of our new prefects to show up, and we should be able to get this meeting started."
Hermione nodded her understanding and spent her time straightening her clothes and remembering all of the various things that she should do in the event of finding a student out of bed, most of them dependant upon what she caught them doing.
After five minutes, all of the prefects had arrived, with the sole exception of Ronald Weasley.
"Hermione?" Professor McGonagall called to her as she walked up to the bushy haired prefect. "Do you know where Mr. Weasley is?" The old woman's steel gray hair was pulled back into a sever bun, accentuating the sharp plains of her face and bringing the wrinkles on her brow into stark relief.
"No, Ma'am. I'm afraid I don't." Hermione answered truthfully, if a bit hesitantly.
"You don't?" the Professor queried in surprised. "Why ever not?"
"Well, you see, Ma'am." Hermione fiddled with the hem of one of her sleeves, "He, Harry, and I got in a bit of a fight over the summer and we aren't really on speaking terms anymore."
"Truly? I'm sorry to hear that." The Professor said mildly, patting her on the shoulder absently.
"Yes, Harry was hoping to talk to you about room changes today, but he wasn't able to see you."
"I'm not surprised." McGonagall said, "I was in a staff meeting just about all day." She paused. "But you really don't know where Mr. Weasley would be?"
Hermione gave a shrug. "He's probably in his dorm, asleep. I wouldn't be surprised if he's forgotten about the meeting and patrol, and gone to bed."
"Hmm, well, that just won't do." McGonagall frowned. "Go back up and fetch him, would you? I'll get this meeting started without him. I assume you know everything I'll be covering anyway?"
"About what to do if we catch anyone and how many points we can take off depending on what they're doing?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, Miss Granger."
"Yes, ma'am, I know it."
"Then you'd best get going. See if you can be back here in about ten minutes. We should still be in the meeting then. But in case we aren't..." Professor McGonagall trailed off.
"I know ma'am. I'll tell him on the way down." Hermione nodded brusquely, already steeling herself for one very bad conversation.
"Thank you. Now, you'd best be off."
"Yes, ma'am." Hermione turned and left the meeting with sure footsteps and a straight back, knowing that she'd need all of her Gryffindor courage to face Ron again. She hadn't spoken to him alone, or been alone with him since that break up 'conversation' she'd had with him when he'd called her…. Hermione shook her head, and lengthened her stride, swinging her arms purposefully. She was not going to allow Ron to intimidate her.
As she pushed her way through the double doors that led into the entrance hall and back to the many sets of stairs that wound their way up to the Gryffindor tower, Hermione was unaware of the pair of eyes that followed her progress through the great hall.
Such an odd girl. The owner of the eyes thought. Almost as bad as Loony Lovegood. I wonder what is going on inside of that mind of hers?
ooOO00OOoo
In all too short a time, Hermione was back in front of the portrait of the fat lady and gaining entrance into the common room.
"Hermione? Back already? What about patrol?" Harry asked from his position on the sofa where he was reading Quiddich through the Ages.
She gave a gusty sigh. " You know where Ron is? He didn't show up for the meeting before patrol and Professor McGonagall sent me back up here to see where he was, and to bring him down."
"Uh-oh." Harry said. "He's in the dorm, I think. That's not going to be any fun, Cat."
"I know, Harry. Believe me, I know." She shook her head sadly before squaring her shoulders and marching up the stairs to the boys' fifth year dorms.
Reaching the doors, she knocked firmly on the door and waited patiently. She didn't have to wait long.
"Hermione?" Neville blinked. "What're you doing here?"
"Is Ron there? He was supposed to have been at the prefect's meeting before patrol and he never showed up." She peered over his shoulder and into the room.
"Uh, yes, he is, but he's in the bathroom right now. He should be out, um, soon." Neville said, his face getting red.
"Thanks Nev." Hermione said, stepping into the room as Neville opened the door wider to allow her admittance. "Seamus, Dean." She nodded at them. "How are you?"
"Pretty good. Trying to do our homework." Seamus said.
"And failing miserably at it." Dean put in.
Hermione smiled slightly. She always laughed on the inside when people told her that they were 'doing homework' when she asked how they were. She didn't expect people to do homework every hour of every day, she just wanted them to do it before they went off and played wizard's chess.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Hermione said blandly. They all knew that they were lying to her, but what did it matter? She wasn't here to be their nanny. And I'm going to stop doing it this year too. It's going to be the year of change for me. She thought firmly to herself.
"So what are you really doing?" She asked them, amusement coloring her voice.
"Um…what?" Dean asked, nervously.
Hermione simply waited, a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.
"Hah, she got you guys." Neville said with a laugh as he went over to flop on his bed. "She knows you aren't studying. You never are."
"Shut up, Nev." Dean said good-naturedly
Neville laughed and threw his hands up in the air. "Hey, I'm just telling the truth. You never study."
"That's okay, Nev." Hermione said, amused. "Some people don't need to study."
Seamus snorted. "Like you?"
"Hardly." Hermione said, "I need to study a lot. There are so many things that I don't understand, how could I not?"
"Hermione..." Neville said softly. "Maybe you shouldn't study so much. I mean, what happens if one day you've learned all there is to know from books? What then? Or what if," he continued as a thought seemed to strike him. "What if you wake up one day and you're life has passed you by while you sat and read a book?"
Hermione sighed. "You're right, Nev. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I'm an old miser who cares for nothing and no one but my books. Which is why…" she said with a twinkle in her eyes, "I've decided to take things easy this year, maybe find a boyfriend."
"Are you serious?" Seamus asked, incredulous.
Hermione laughed. "Yeah, I am. Hard to believe, huh? Hermione, the biggest book-worm of them all, wants a boyfriend."
"Never thought I'd see the day." Dean mumbled sotto voice, but still distinct enough to be heard.
"Shut up, Dean!" Hermione laughed, grabbing a pillow from the nearest bed and throwing it at him.
Seamus, seeing the gob smacked look on Dean's face at such an unexpected, and, frankly, juvenile action coming from Hermione, of all people, fell off of his bed in laugher.
"Shut up, Seamus!" Dean cried, throwing the pillow at him, and managed to smack Seamus square in the face, just like Hermione had.
"Shut up, Nev!" Seamus yelled, and threw the pillow at him, when he saw that Neville was laughing at the three of them, a goofy grin on Seamus' face. After that, the room dissolved from a short discussion to an all-out pillow fight that ended with the four of them slumped in the middle of the floor, all leaning against each other's backs, their feet sprawled out in front of them, catching their breath.
"Where is Ron, anyway?" Hermione asked into the silence of descending feathers.
ooOO00OOoo
"HERMIONE!!!" came Ron's voice, loud and long, with a bit of a quaver at the end as he trailed off into silence.
There was a moment of silence as everyone in the room sat up from their slumped positions on the floor and turned to look at the locked door that led to the bathroom.
"Was…..was that, Ron?" Hermione asked softly.
"Er, well. Maybe." Said Seamus hesitantly.
"Why was he screaming? And why did it take him so long to go to the bathroom anyway." She suddenly sat up straighter. "Oh my god! The prefect's meeting!!" Hermione climbed quickly to her feet and dashed over to the bathroom door, and began to pound on it with a fist. "Ronald Weasley! You get out here right now, we've got a prefects meeting to go to. Professor McGonagall sent me up here to get you and you've kept me waiting long enough. What are you doing in there anyway? Get out here!"
Across the room, Neville lowered his hand from where he had raised it to stop Hermione's assault on the bathroom door. The three guys exchanged looks of helpless horror when they heard that Hermione was demanding that Ron come out of the bathroom. They knew; she didn't want to know what he'd been doing. Not really.
"Ronald!" Hermione cried again, stomping her food in frustration.
"Hermione!" Dean said, standing up and crossing the room to stand at Hermione's side. "Just, give him a minute, okay?" Taking her elbow, he gently steered her across the room to where the other two were industriously cleaning up the spilled feathers.
"A minute?" Hermione said indignantly, craning her head to glare at the bathroom door. "He's been in there for ten minutes! It can't possibly take ten minutes to use the restroom, even if you bring a book!"
"A book?" Seamus looked crossways at her. "You bring a book to the bathroom?"
"No. I'm just saying that not even a book should make you take that long." Hermione explained patiently. "Where…?"
Just then, the bathroom door opened and a very red-faced Ron emerged, looking slightly rumpled.
"There you are!" Hermione said, escaping Dean's grasp and marching over to Ron. As soon as she reached him, she began to automatically straighten his clothes, smoothing his collar down and re-tying his tie. "What took you so long? You were supposed to be at the meeting fifteen minutes ago."
"What about you?" Ron countered, shame-faced. "Looks like you guys had a pillow fight in here."
"That's because we did." Hermione said, unabashed. "I'll have you know that we fought for less than three minutes, can you say the same?"
"Well…" Ron ducked his head and shuffled his feet.
"Come on then." She said brusquely. "Professor McGonagall is probably horribly mad at both of us by now. We'd best get going." Turning on her heel, Hermione marched to the door, followed by a subdued Ron; she knew that wasn't going to last long. At the door, she paused, "Thanks guys, I had fun. We'll have to do it again sometime."
"Sounds good!" Neville piped up as he emerged from where he had been 'cleaning' behind his bed, feathers scattered about in his hair.
Hermione chuckled. "See ya." Waving at the boys, Hermione left the room, Ron still following, but by the time they'd descended the stairs and entered the common room, the red on his face had changed from one of embarrassment, to one of anger.
Uh oh. Harry thought as he watched the two of them troop down the stairs. This is going to be fun.
ooOO00OOoo
"Hermione, just what gives you the right to barge into my dorm room and bang on the bathroom door like that? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Ron said accusingly as Hermione gave a casual wave to Harry who waved back, a concerned look on his face when he glanced meaningfully at Ron. A slight shrug was Hermione's only response.
"Professor McGonagall, Ron, that's who. Did you forget that she was the one who sent me to get you for the prefect's meeting? And I didn't 'barge in' to you dorm room either. Your roommates let me in." Hermione replied, making a beeline for the door. This discussion was best held in the halls, not the common room where there were ears to hear.
"Don't you go blaming this on them, Hermione. You're the one that came up here after me." Ron argued, as the fat lady closed behind them.
"Yes, Ron, I am. At Professor McGonagall's orders." Hermione sighed.
"So, what? You're her messenger-girl then?" Ron sneered.
"If she needs me to be, yes. That's what comes with being a student, and a prefect."
"That's just stupid and lame. You're incapable of disobeying orders, aren't you? Can't think outside the box."
Hermione paused in where she'd been marching full steam ahead. "I'm 'incapable of disobeying orders' and I 'can't think outside the box'? Is that the best insult you have? Come on, Ron, as many years as you know me and as much trouble as we've gotten into, that's the best you can come up with? Of course I can disobey orders, I've done it before with you. And you also know that I'm damn good at thinking outside of the box, which is why I'm so good at most of these classes, magic isn't as rule-oriented as we seem to think it is." Hermione huffed.
ooOO00OOoo
Down the hall a little ways and around a corner, two prefects on their patrol stopped and listened to the heated conversation between the two Gryffindors.
"You know," one of them said turning to the other, "she's got a point."
"Hush," said the other, tilting their head to listen better. "I want to hear."
"And if you are going to insult me, Ron, darling, then at least have the brains to insult me with something more than I'm 'stupid and lame'. 'But, O most lamentable man!--of wit/You never had an atom, and of letters/You have three letters only!--they spell Ass!'
The first prefect turned to the second and mouthed the words 'O most lamentable man' to the other, their face a mass of confusion.
The second seemed to understand, but shook their head, indicating that they would explain at a later time.
"What are you about, Hermione? Spouting Muggle rubbish again? Can't you accept the fact that you are a witch now, and move on with your life? Why do you hold on to your Muggle heritage like that? They're all stupid and useless anyway." Ron's voice was filled with contempt and the prefects were surprised to hear such words coming from a supposed Muggle-lover.
"How could you even ask me that, Ron? My mother is a Muggle, my father is a Muggle, my Aunt and my Uncle are all Muggles, dumbass. That is why I can't just 'let my Muggle heritage go', it's my bloody heritage, and I have as much a right to my Muggle heritage as you do to your precious pure-blooded one."
The second prefect leaned over to the first. "She's got a bit of a tongue on her."
The first one grinned. "I know, that's why I like her. I think that's hot."
"You're crazy, if you think there's a chance in hell for the two of you to ever work." The second one shook its head. "Besides, you have a 'precious pure-blood heritage' as well."
The first shrugged. "So? That's never stopped me before."
"Well, maybe it should. Things get nasty fast, when a pureblood has a serious relationship with a mudblood."
"Shut up, Draco." The first said crossly. "Not all pureblood families are like yours. We all know that purebloods are superior, but we also all know that we are a dying breed, and if we are to keep our names alive, we need the infusion of new blood that your 'mudbloods' offer us. There is reason to lose your hatred of them, and even more reason to accept, even seek out, one of them each generation to invigorate our bloodlines."
"The Malfoy's don't need mudbloods to taint our lines." Malfoy said haughtily.
"Stop being a parrot for Malfoy propaganda and listen to what I'm telling you. Purebloods won't survive if we don't mix a little. As-is, damn near every pureblood family is either first, second, or third cousins to every other. If we keep going, we're going to start inbreeding, and that is dangerous."
"Shut up, Zabini. I'm not in the mood for one of your lectures."
"I'm just saying…"
"Well, stop saying it." Malfoy cut in.
Zabini sighed and turned away, listening in again to the tail end of the one-sided argument going on just around the corner.
"…it doesn't matter, you're still a witch." Ron was saying.
"Stop saying that!" Hermione cried, obviously frustrated.
"Well, it's true."
"Well, you know what? It doesn't matter, I'm still a Granger as well. I am a witch and a Granger, and until such time as I am no longer alive, I will still be a Granger, and I will still love my family, and I will not cut myself off from them simply on your say-so! We aren't dating anymore Ron, nor are we even friends! You gave up all right to have any say in my life at all, that night when you said all of those awful things to me, so just shut up and lets go down to the Great Hall before I do something you'll regret."
"Don't you mean something you'll regret?" Ron said snidely
Blaise peeked around the corner in time to see Hermione whirl around and face Weasley, her eyes flashing. "No, Ron, that's not what I meant. I said what I meant the first time. I might do something that you will regret, so shut up and come on." So saying, she spun about smartly on her heel and stalked away, head held high.
Weasley shuffled after her, his face still red and mumbling inconsiderate things under his breath about 'women' and 'idiots'.
ooOO00OOoo
A few minutes later, flushed and flustered, Hermione and Ron entered the Great Hall to find it completely empty, save for a rather impatient Professor McGonagall.
"Well, it's about time for the two of you to show up." She said crossly. "Originally, I was going to pair you up with other people, seeing as how the two of you aren't getting along, but you are already late for your rounds, so I'm afraid the two of you are stuck with each other tonight."
"What?!" Ron cried, incredulous. "You can't pair me with her."
"Can, Mr. Weasley, and have." She pinned him in place with eyes of steel. "Perhaps next time, you won't be tardy, hmm?"
"Yes, Professor." Ron said sullenly.
"Best be off then. You've got a lot of ground to cover, and not much time to do it in. So, scat."
"Yes, ma'am." Hermione said, and the two of them left to, finally, begin their rounds.
ooOO00OOoo
This quote comes from the play/movie Cyrano de Bergerac, by Edmond Rostand and is in reference to the point in the plot where Cyrano (who has a rather over-sized nose) is teaching a Viscount how to properly insult him, because all the viscount can say is "your nose is…hmm…it is…very big."