A/N: Well Christmas chewed me up and finally spit me back out this year.

Anyway, the only note I've got is just this. Someone mentioned they didn't understand why Blaise and Alex attacked each other after the Ball/they found Tania. Since that shows up again, I wanted to explain it, if it still isn't clear. See, Alex and Blaise attack each other because they can. The only person in Alex's life who is safe enough to hit/insult/yell at is Blaise and vice versa. She knows he won't truly hurt her, won't kill her, doesn't mean the insults. It isn't exactly healthy, but it's one of the few emotional releases they have. They rarely do it in front of other people though.

::waves:: And that's it. I still own nothing etc etc.

"Well, we got them."

Draco glanced at the speaker, one Tara Cromwell, then looked away before she noticed he was looking at her. Merlin! He twitched. Scary, scary woman.

"I'll say she did," Greg murmured into his left ear. "Take a look around. Even Dumbledore's rant couldn't have caused that."

Draco turned, but he couldn't find the foreign students. Eventually he spotted them. They'd split up into smaller, non-threatening groups and were scattered around the far end of the room. About as far away from the Slytherin table as possible.

He grinned. "And that is why the world is a more disturbing place since Lady Tara was born."

"All I can think of is that one time in first year," Greg had a distant expression on his face.

"What happened in first year?" Alex asked, sinking down between Greg and Vince and looking back and forth between them. Tania slipped down on Greg's other side and casually reached for a fruit bowl. Without so much as glancing at her Greg reached out and moved it closer so she could reach it.

"Tara Cromwell happened, Alex. Tara Cromwell happened."

The older girl must have heard him because she looked over at them and winked significantly.

Greg paled. "I love you, my queen," he called.

She grinned.

Alex snickered, leaning back to exchange a glance with Tania, who was being far more polite than Alex and holding in her laughter. "So, where's Blaise?" Alex looked around, half rising to look over the heads of the boys around her.

Draco frowned at her. It just didn't seem right, that something was going wrong with Blaise and Alex didn't know about it. Until this moment he hadn't even remotely considered Blaise's issue to be a real problem.

"He's up in the dorm," Vince answered.

She looked at him, two lines forming between her eyebrows. "What's he up to?"

Vince looked at Draco who leaned around him. "He's… busy." Draco made the rapid decision to avoid the details. It wasn't his place to rat out his dorm mate and it wasn't his place to keep Alex informed.

She leaned forward and frowned, her jade green eyes searching his face for a long silent moment. Still concerned she leaned back and grabbed a roll, pale fingers slowly shredding it across her plate.

The smell was sharp in her nose, the recognition instantiations. Alex stopped, one foot half off the floor and inhaled again. She put her foot down and turned around. As she'd suspected, Blaise had come up behind her. His eyes were white and clear. His step was steady and even. He was drunk. Well and truly trashed and wasted. The smell of alcohol was like a living thing in the air around him. She pinched her lips closed until her teeth ground together.

"Hey, Lex." He flashed a smile that she immediately distrusted. "What's new?"

She flashed an equally insincere smile. "Hi, Blaise. Why don't you tell me?"

He stopped in the middle of the hallway a shrewd, angry look flaring in his narrowed eyes. "Whatever do you mean, Lexy?"

She eyed his face, letting the words wash over her without taking them in emotionally. There was no point to it when Blaise was this trashed. Frankly, if he stayed this nice she'd be greatly surprised.

"Alex?" Draco had stopped a few feet farther down the hall.

She shook her head, waving them on. "We just need to talk. I'll catch up to you in a minute."

The boys just shrugged and kept walking, but Tania sent her a worried glance, her brown gaze darting toward Blaise before she allowed herself to be led away by Greg. Alex ignored them, staring at him without blinking until the many Slytherins emptied farther into the school, heading for Common Room.

"You weren't at dinner last night, Zabini. You were passed out in your dorm for breakfast this morning. You smell of booze and you're neglecting your duties to Tania and to the House in general."

If it were possible Blaise got even stiller. He inhaled and let out his breath slowly. "And who are you to critique me, Bellmonte?"

Alex flattened her palms against one another and very specifically chose her next words. She didn't really feel like dealing with a long drawn out conversation before they got to the point. She didn't have the energy for it. "Oh, give it a rest, Zabini. Don't try to focus the blame on me. You are the one who's letting this rather minor event in your life defeat you. But you know what? I don't even know why I'm talking to you. You aren't going to have a single intelligent thought in your heat until you aren't so shitfaced."

She turned sharply on her heel and stalked off down the hallway.

"Bitch," the word breathed past her ear as Blaise grabbed her arms, whipping her around. Alex was barely registering her new direction when her back hit the wall. She gasped, clinging to the stone with her fingertips, stunned at how quickly he'd gone from verbal attacks to physical. It usually took longer. There was usually more warning.

Alex hid her hurt and let her lips curl into a sneer. "Idiot. Y-"

Blaise slammed his hand against the wall, less than an inch from her head. Alex flinched away. "I don't need your prying, bossy input, you stupid little whore," he sneered into her face.

Alex wrapped her fingers into the soft cotton of his shirt, jerking him even closer. "If you didn't you would've just walked away."

Very softly, very gently, Blaise wrapped his fingers around the place between her neck and her jaw. Firmly controlling her breathing, Alex wrapped her hand around his wrist significantly. His warm hazel eyes bored into hers and for one long second Alex thought it was over. But then the ugly look reasserted itself.

"Bitch!" he shouted hurling her to the left.

Alex fought to control her flight, but just managed to tear strips out of Blaise's arm before falling and hitting the floor. She rolled to her feet to find herself staring down the wrong end of a wand.

"Laedo!(1)"

Sharp pain slashed across her face, knocking her back on her ass. "Ahh!" Alex scrambled into her sleeve and lashed out at his legs with her wand. "Inflixi!" (2)

Blaise grunted and stumbled forward, nearly falling on top of her. He solved his problem by putting his weight into his knee, which landed on her back. And then it was Alex's turn to grunt.

"Noceo," (3) she gasped out, jabbing her wand blindly upward.

There was a sound, like a massive hand slapping against stone that told her she'd missed. Blaise shifted and Alex found herself hitting stone again.

"Minuo." (4)

Alex's eyes flew open in shock, her arms coming up to protect her face. Blades of light rippled over her, drawing a soft whimper from her unwilling lips.

"Stupid," she hissed as blood began to drip to the floor. "So… stupid!Togliere wand! (5)

"Expelliarmus!"

Her fingers, already loosened around the length of wood, lost their grip, even as the blood around her flashed with light and Blaise's wand slammed into the far wall.

"Well," she drawled, ignoring the throbbing pain in her arms. "Now that we've got that out of the way-" She surged forward, but of course, Blaise was waiting for her.

"Fortunately," Blaise growled, shoving her back down, "you're predictable." He grabbed her throat, harder than before and began to squeeze. "Bitch."

Alex looked up into his eyes as her air was slowly and brutally cut off. His eyes met hers but they were flat and empty. Blaise, her Blaise, didn't look back. Seconds ticked by and, though she fought it, panic started to fill her. She forced herself not to fight back, but she couldn't stop herself from shaking.

Blaise! she screamed mentally as white stars cut off the corners of her vision. Get a hold of yourself dammit!

"Al-" The noise that came out of Blaise's mouth was a low groan. "Lexy." And just that fast she could breathe again.

Alex coughed, blinking against the extra moisture in her eyes. "B-... Blaise, you stupid boy." She breathed reaching up to touch his face.

He crumbled on top of her, tears streaming down his face. Alex scrambled up, wrapping her arms around him and muffling his sobs in her shoulder.

"You stupid, stupid boy."

It felt like up. It felt like breaking the surface of the water after nearly drowning. It felt like slicing open his stomach and slowly pulling out his intestines.

Blaise clung to Alex as if he'd drown if he didn't and sobbed like he was dying.

Tania's hand in his, tiny and trusting. A big hand, hairy and demanding, yanking him along by the back of his shirt. His tiny feet, bare and scrambling to keep up with too long foot steps.

"You stupid, stupid boy."

She smiled at him, the purity of the joy rocking him back on his heels… until her face twisted up into a hoarse scream. Blood splattered across his face. He could smell it, taste it. It choked him. Somewhere, someone laughed.

"I hope at least it was the good alcohol, honey child."

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe! There was blood on his face. Blood on his shirt. Blood on the dress. Blood on the snow. He shivered in the cold. It was so dark down here. So cold in the basement.

"After all, we can't have you rotting your guts out, darling."

"Blaise, what are you doing?!"

Blaise looked up from his project and grinned up at his mother. "Don't look!" he said forcefully. "It's a secret!"

She paused in midmotion and turned toward him. "Excuse me?"

He felt a tremor of unease, but stayed his course. After all, Grandma had said that birthday presents had to be secrets. Blaise hadn't known people were supposed to get presents on their birthday. He felt bad that he'd never given his mommy and daddy anything so he was putting in extra effort this year. "You can't see. You can't look! It's a secret!"

His mother's face twisted and she stalked forward. She grabbed his project, then flung it away from herself with a cry. "What the hell is this, you stupid brat?!" she shouted, shoving her hand, now covered in blue paint, in his face.

"You weren't supposed to touch it when it was wet!" he wailed, scrambling off his seat.

"It constantly amazes me," she hissed viciously, grabbing his face and smearing paint on his nose and mouth, "how much of a mess you can create in so short a time. And when I specifically told you not to!"

Blaise stared at her in silence as the taste of paint filled his mouth and her nails dug into his cheeks. They weren't drawing blood yet, but that was just because she was being nice. "I-I-It… it w-was a… a b-birthday pr-pr…present," he stuttered, trying to explain. Surely once she knew she'd understand. She had to!

"Apresent?" she shouted, her hand tightening until her nails broke skin. Warm liquid dripped down his face.

"I've kept my closet clean, you know. In case you need it."

"You think ruining my table, destroying my dress, covering this room in your stupid little messes is a present?" She was practically shrieking by the time she was done, using her grip on his face to shake him violently. With a wordless snarl, she threw him from the chair to the floor.

"I am so sick of you!" A pair of blows followed her words.

Blaise curled in on himself.

"I haven't forgotten my promise, honey. You're welcome to move in whenever you need to. I won't even make you sleep on my shoes this time."

Alex.

Her arms around him. Her voice in his ear.

Blaise dug his fingers into her hair, grabbing the memory with both hands and shoving it back into the box where it belonged.

"It… it was a birthday present," he whispered.

"Oh. That bad huh?" she murmured, wincing.

"I… I left her. I knew. I knew and I left her."

Alex eased up on her hold enough for him to lift his face from her shoulder, but didn't let him go, running her fingers through his hair. "I know, honey. It's all your fault."

Blaise stiffened, disbelieving. "What?" he gasped, feeling the floor drop from beneath his feet.

"Oh, don't be an idiot," she snapped, shoving him off her. He jerked as if she'd doused him with cold water.

"What?"

Alex reached out and placed one hand on either side of his face. "I can't baby you, Blaise. I don't have the luxury. You don't have the luxury. So sit up, suck it up, and face reality."

The speech echoed in his head, repeated over and over again in his memory. He'd said it. She'd said it. They'd screamed it and whispered it dozens of times over the years. Blaise took a painful breath and let it out slowly, taking himself in hand even though it hurt. Gods it hurt. "And reality is?"

"The reality is Tania thinks it's her fault. I think it's mine. Hunter fairly reeks of guilt. You're jumping into the guilt lake full tilt. We can't all be right can we?"

"Tania's fault? How the hell is it Tania's fault?"

Her face closed down over an expression Blaise specifically chose not to interpret. "The same way it was your fault your mother got paint on her hands."

He closed his eyes and focused on breathing for a second. "And so?"

"So," Alex leaned forward until their foreheads touched. "I want to point out that there is one person in all of this that doesn't feel guilty at all. Falon."

"Falon," Blaise echoed, hazel eyes drilling into green.

"I bet he went to bed and got a sweet night's sleep. So I think, maybe, just maybe, you should start blaming him."

"You make a very good point." Blaise felt as if the world was slowly settling back onto a normal balance.

"And one last thing I'm going to say, during which you are going to listen and not get angry at me for." She leaned back, winced, and glared at him. "This is obviously not the first time this has happened. The look on Hunter's face when we told him should be evidence enough of that."

"So?" he prompted when she hesitated.

"So, what damage this…" she didn't say abuse, wouldn't say it but Blaise knew, "did to her has already been done. One more round in the closet in the back of her mind isn't going to make it worse."

Blaise's first response was a disgusted sneer. But he couldn't. He knew what she was doing, what she meant underneath that cold, unfeeling statement. Still, he couldn't bring himself to agree with her either. Instead, Blaise leaned forward and wrapped her in a quick hug.

"So… are we better now?" she asked, her voice muffled.

Blaise chuckled. "Alex, I don't know what I drank but I think I'm gonna have a bad hangover."

"Blaise darling, that isn't the alcohol. That was me." Alex snickered, then coughed. "Ow," she whined.

Blaise stiffened, then, slowly, very slowly, almost against his will, he leaned back and got to his feet. Clenching his teeth, he looked down at her. The right side of her face, from hairline to chin was a massive bruise that was beginning to swell, distorting her eye slightly. She lifted her hands to probe at the injury gently, giving him a clear view of the tatters that used to be the lower half of her sleeve, damp with blood.

He grabbed her wrists, pulling her arms up for a better view of the slices into her flesh. Instead she used the motion to pull her to her feet.

"See anything you like, Zabini?" she joked, tilting her head with mock flirtation.

"Please. That's just-" He cut off and dropped her wrists. "Alexandra!"

She braced her hands on her hips and blinked at him.

Blaise reached out and very, very gently tipped up her chin. Extremely deep, harsh bruises covered her neck. His heart in his throat Blaise counted fingers. He dropped her face and scrambled back until he hit the other side of the hall. "Gods, Alex!" he shouted, scrubbing his face. "How could you?! I could've… I almost…. Lord Merlin!"

She winced and ducked her head, clutching her elbows. "It worked didn't it!" she shot back uncertainly.

"Bloodyhell." He crossed the hall in two strides and grabbed her into an all engulfing hug.

With a sniffle, she relaxed completely. "We gotta go," Alex murmured into his shirt.

"Yeah." He glanced around for their wands. "I've got a place we can hide out until later."

Alex groaned. "I'm not going to get dinner, am I?"

He grinned. "Nope."

It was well after dark when they finally decided it might be safe to sneak back into Common Room. Truthfully, they should've stayed away longer, but Alex wanted her healing kit a bit desperately, and so they headed back early. In the end, it didn't really matter how late or early they were, because they wouldn't have managed to avoid Him.

"Pinecone," Blaise murmured to Her Majesty, the Lady of Slytherin. She barely batted an eye as she looked down her long nose and swung silently open. Blaise waved for her to stay put as he ducked into Common Room first and made sure the coast was clear.

Alex crossed her arms, then thought better of it as her cuts protested, and tapped her foot impatiently on the stone floor. One minute passed, then two. Alex was about to throw up her hands and go in anyway when she heard Blaise call to her.

"Lex..." he called softly, his voice strained.

She frowned. That certainly didn't sound like 'all was clear'. In fact it sounded like he'd just gotten caught. If she were smart, she'd make a run for it before whoever was in there found her out too. But by the same token, if she were smart she'd have to assume that they already knew about her. After all, Blaise would never have called to her if he hadn't been prompted to. If he'd had no choice. It stood to reason that she wouldn't be doing anything but getting Blaise into worse trouble than he was already in by running. She couldn't do that to him.

"Blaise?" she called back cautiously.

"Come on in, Lex," he answered unhappily. "The water's fine."

Rolling her eyes, Alex bunched up her robe unceremoniously and climbed over the threshold. In the dark of the entrance she kicked off her shoes for the comfort of it. Well, that and it was a clear statement that she wasn't going to run. Whoever was here, whatever they wanted, she was going to fight back. She just wasn't in the mood for anything else right now. The bruises along her side and back, now well developed, protested loudly as she bent to pick them up. Alex tried not to wince but all she managed was to keep her groan soft and barely hearable.

Oh, now you're just procrastinating, she scolded herself sharply. Get on with it!

Lifting her chin she strode forward firmly. Her steps faltered as humorless eyes, cold and black, met her own.

"P-Professor Snape," she whispered.

He smiled. It wasn't a look of happiness or joy. Alex closed her eyes.You have gotto be kidding me.

"I am going to ask you this one time only, Mister Zabini. Who caused Miss Bellmonte's injuries?" His voice was dry, too dry and Alex had just enough good sense left to keep her mouth shut.

The muscles in his jaw clenching, Blaise pulled himself up and looked Professor Snape straight in the eye. "I did, sir."

Snape's lips twitched. And not in that good way. "You," he drawled darkly, his voice laced with iron command, "will not heal yourself. You will not imbibe any potions to that effect nor will you take anything for the pain. You are no gentleman, Mister Zabini. Have I made myself clear?"

Blaise took the hits with a single sharp nod. "Yes, sir. I understand."

"Good. Bed." Professor Snape gestured toward the boys' dorms. Blaise glanced at Alex in concern.

"I. Will. Not. Tell. You. Again. Mister Zabini," Snape enunciated sharply.

Face pale, Blaise turned on his heel and marched from the room, though a less forgiving audience might say he fled. Alex winced and looked up at her very tall, very imposing Head of House. It was her turn now.

"Sit, Miss Bellmonte." The voice was softer but the implied command wasn't.

Alex walked to the closest seat, a black leather couch, and sat.

"I find it hard to believe," he crossed to stand in front of her and gripped her chin with cold fingers, tilting her face, "that Zabini could have done this to you entirely against your will."

Alex winced, met his eyes and looked away. "It wasn't his fault," she tried to say firmly but ended up whispering, "I attacked him first."

Her Head of House opened his mouth to respond, but stopped. "Miss Bellmonte," he said her name on a sigh, "you are on a very dangerous path."

She had no good response to that, so she stayed silent and watched him draw his wand from his sleeve. A black gaze locked with hers and Alex heard the order loud and clear even though he didn't say anything.

Stay still. Don't move. Don't resist.

She held her tongue and waited. Holding his wand in both hands, Snape let his eyes fade half closed and every so often mouthed a word. Alex watched him, because she had nothing better to do, and tried to guess which spell he was using from the minor amounts of lip reading she was managing. She'd only just begun to guess when his hands started to glow. Replacing his wand in his sleeve, Professor Snape gently but firmly placed his left hand over the side of her face and wrapped his right around her throat.

Alex swallowed convulsively and had to fight to hold still, had to fight to keep from whimpering. It was going to be awhile before she let anyone touch her neck again it seemed.

His fingers, warm this time and rapidly growing hot, pressed into her flesh and Alex felt panic start to build in her stomach. I can't breathe!

The heat became unbearable, scorching her. Alex gasped in a breath... and cool black eyes looked directly into her green ones. Instantly the panic faded. This was Snape, Professor Snape, her Head of House. He would never, ever hurt her. Not without a damn good reason. She trusted him implicitly. Her brain began to function again and Alex realized that, while he was holding her neck, he wasn't choking her. She could breathe. She had always been able to breathe.

Tears of relief popped into her eyes, startling her. Alex Bellmonte didn't cry. And not in front of people! Her face gave a sudden throb, then the pain vanished along with the weird larger-than-life feeling.

"Your arms, Miss Bellmonte."

Alex glanced down at her arms, where her cuts were hidden inside her repaired sleeves. She should have been surprised that he knew... but it was Snape, so she wasn't. The man was sneaky and every member of his House had learned the hard way, at one time or another, that it was impossible to get anything past him. It was why they trusted him. It was why they respected him. It was why they, down to the smallest first year, would follow his orders without question no matter what they were or how terrifying the consequences. If he asked her to kill, she would. If he asked her to die, she would. Though she'd object to the second one just out of principal, if there was time.

She sighed and shrugged off her robes, the better to reach the sleeves of her button down white undershirt. "It's not like I do this on purpose," she muttered as she fumbled with the buttons of her cuffs.

"Do what, Miss Bellmonte?" there was amusement in his velvet soft, dark voice. He was laughing at her and Alex wasn't entirely sure why.

"Get myself beat all to hell. I'm not a masochist you know."

"Of course you are."

Alex froze in the middle of pushing up her sleeves and looked up. The smirk, the smirk was settling across his features and Alex felt a flash of pride that she had been the one to inspire it. But there was still that comment to deal with!

Her eyes narrowed. "Oh, really?" she said too brightly. "Do tell."

The smirk faltered then vanished and that deep brooding look was back in his eyes. "Your life is shit, Miss Bellmonte. No matter what anyone else sees or says, your life is an empty hell."

Alex very deliberately stared at her hands as she rolled her sleeves up carefully. Digging her finger nails into her palms against the pain that was probably coming, either from the healing or from the words he was throwing in her face, she extended her arms and turned them over to present him with the bloody slices. They had mostly stopped bleeding, but they were too deep and wide to have even considered scabbing over yet. In a single rapid movement, perhaps he thought she would flinch away from him, Snape grabbed her low arms with his still glowing hands.

Nowthat hurt. It felt like someone had added salt to lemon juice then set the whole thing on fire and poured it into her cuts. Alex blanched, but as quickly as it had come it was gone. She yanked her arms out of his grip and rubbed her hands over the still stinging flesh.

"That was not cool," she muttered fiercely, unable to hold in that much emotion at this point. "And I beg to differ about the other bit."

Snape lifted an eyebrow. "The rest of it."

Alex sighed and half turned, lifting her shirt to expose the bruise forming around her side and up her back. "I still object. My life is not an empty hell. It has it's moments but..." She shrugged.

Some part of her mind commented that it was a strange double standard. She'd drawn blood on Draco when all he'd done was kiss her, but here was this fully grown man with his hands practically on top of her bra and she didn't have a bad thing to say about it. Well, screw that part of her mind. This was Snape.

"Where do your problems come from, Alexandra?" he inquired softly, surprising her by using her first name. "What are the causes?"

"Idiots," she supplied instantly, earning herself another smirk.

"More specifically."

Alex frowned. "I..."

Snape exhaled sharply and looked at her like she was failing some kind of test. "You are in this condition right now because...?"

"Because... Blaise needed my help." She scowled, suddenly gaining a clue as to where he was going with this.

He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting.

"And I haven't been sleeping because of the Tania problem."

If it had been Blaise he'd have rolled his eyes at her. "How much time in a day do you spend on things that are not your problem?"

"Define 'my problem'," Alex asked. If it had been anyone else she'd have snapped it coldly, but she was controlling that emotion right now. If Professor Snape felt the need to interject some advice into her life, she would be as open to it as possible.

He leaned forward. "Not Mister Zabini's problem. Not Miss Dethart's problem. Not Mister Dethart's problem. Not Mister Malfoy's problem."

"Contrary to popular belief," she tilted her head up at him and crossed her arms now that she could, "I do not do favors for people. Especially not Draco."

"Contrary to popular belief," his voice went so soft Alex had to strain to hear him, "you would jump in front of a Cruciatus for any one of those people. And you wouldn't be able to help yourself."

Alex tried to stare at him, but found she couldn't meet his eyes. It was a warm, puddle-in-her-stomach feeling to know that someone else knew her that well. But it was also unnerving. If he knew that, if he could see her that clearly... then what else did he see. She knew her parents were disappointed in her. She wasn't nearly good enough. She only barely got by, scraping out a win from every test by the skin on her teeth. The thought that Professor Snape might see how much a failure she was... horrifying didn't even begin to cover it.

"If you live your life for yourself, it will be better, easier, more successful," Snape continued. There was a tone in his voice that Alex had only heard once before, when she'd been nearly passed out from pain after she'd been 'accidentally' pushed off the Quidditch stands. Back then, it had given her permission to cry, while giving her the strength to bite her tongue and endure. Now it gave her the courage to look up.

Whatever else he was feeling, behind those bottomless black eyes, she didn't know. But she didn't see disgust, or even condescension. She managed to start breathing again.

"So, I should give up on them all?" she asked curiously, no longer defensive.

He shrugged indifferently. "If you continue on with the path you've chosen, your life will become hell."

"I thought it already was hell."

Snape looked at her soberly, ignoring her attempt at a joke. "These are the good days, Miss Bellmonte. It will only get worse from here."

"Well, hell," Alex said, jerking her chin up defiantly, "my life is going to suck anyway. I might as well go for broke."

"Then you truly belong in my House." For the third time in one conversation Professor Snape smirked. "Go to bed, Miss Bellmonte."

Ever obedient, Alex went.

A/N:

(1) laedo, strike, hit, hurt, damage, offend, annoy

(2) infligo inflixi inflictum - to strike, hit, knock /cause damage.

(3) noceo - to do harm to, inflict injury, hurt.

(4) minuo - to draw blood, let blood, to bleed (someone).

(5) togliere – take away