Yo Peeps! WUZUP? Time for the next installment of sheer and utter stupidity! Sorry it took so long, school started a few days ago. Also, I haven't been in the writing mood, and I've had writers block. So if this chapter sucks, BLAME THE SUGAR FREE WHIPPED CREAM MY MOM BOUGHT!

Now, for the change. I'm CHANGING THE TITLE! But fear not, it's for the better! It will now be called The Stupidest Things Team Gai Have Done! I decided not to stop at 20 chapters. Everyone gave me such good ideas, and I'll do all of them (eventually) the ideas I make up myself, and who could forget my wonderful brother's ideas! -cough- Ya, right.

So, I won't be stopping anytime soon with this story! It's just been so much fun! So, next time the title with be different! (By 2 numbers…)

EDIT: Okay, I was reading through the stories, and this one stood out as one of the worst, so I edited it now.

Disclaimer: LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA…. I no own, you no sue… LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

#12- FANFICTION!

Gai was away on a mission with Asuma and Kakashi AKA going to the local Hooters, and his team was too lazy to train on their own.

So what did they do?

A lot of other stuff.

First, they robbed a store using their awesome ninja skills.

Then, they ran from the other ninjas. They failed.

Then, they broke out of jail.

Then, they got caught again.

Then, they dug another tunnel, and ended up in the Ichiraku Ramen store.

Then, they ate ramen.

Then, they went to a candy store.

Then, they robbed the candy store.

Then, they were back in jail.

Then, they annoyed the jail keeper until he died.

Then, they let themselves out.

Then, they laughed in all the other prisoners faces.

Then, they were caught again.

Then, they remembered they were kick-ass ninjas.

Then, they all kicked each other in the ass.

Then, they kicked the jail keepers in the ass.

Then, they ended in Gai's house somehow.

See, they did a lot of stuff.

Anywho, they were now playing games on Gai's computer.

After doing a lot of other stuff unsupervised in their sensei's house.

AKA- Breaking stuff, you perverts.

"LEE, GIVE IT UP!" Neji screamed.

"NEVER!" Lee screamed back.

"YOU SUCK AT VIDEO GAMES!" Neji screamed.

"SO, IF I CAN NOT BEAT THIS GAME BY MY 5,000,000 TRY, THEN I WILL TAKE 1000 COOKING LESSONS! AND IF I CAN NOT DO THAT, THEN I WILL TAKE 2000 SEWING LESSONS! AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT, I'LL TAKE 3000 BALLET LESSONS!"

-Three minutes later-

"This one isn't so bad; Learn to cook all you're favorite foods in 1,000 easy classes." Tenten said, looking at the cooking brochure.

"That game is impossible to beat…" Lee grumbled.

"HIGH SCORE!" The computer screamed, scaring the shit (literally), out of Lee.

"WHAT! HOW DID MY RIVAL BEAT THE GAME!" Lee said this more like a statement than a question.

"It's easy. Look."

"OH, TEACH ME OH WONDERFUL MASTER!" Lee then bowed down to Neji, and would have kissed his shoes if Neji hadn't kicked him in the face.

So, after their little game tutorial, they were even more bored, but couldn't leave the house or else the police would catch them and they'd be screwed.

So, they decided to look up Gai's favorites.

The results were some what disturbing.

"Icha Icha Paradise dot com." Neji read.

"Playboy dot net." Tenten read.

"Play GIRL dot net." Lee read.

The 3 then proceeded to barf, then since Lee and Neji recovered first, went to playboy dot net.

Then discovered where babies really came from.

Then Tenten slammed their heads together, and clicked the back button, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like Perverts.

"I wonder why Gai-sensei favorited those sites?" Tenten asked.

"Because, he wears green." Lee said.

"What?"

"Ya, Gai-sensei wears green because he's green-minded." Neji said.

"So am I." Lee replied, pulling a copy of Playboy out of his pocket.

Tenten kicked him really hard where the sun don't shine, then left to burn the –ahem- porn magazine.

When she came back, Neji said "Tenten, look at this."

"If it's another porn site, I swear I'm gonna-"

"NO, it's not porn! It's something called "."

"What's that?"

"I don't know."

Lee and Tenten gasped. "There's something you don't know?"

Everything was silent. Then, Neji burst into tears and sobbed, "I know! It's just terrible, ain't it!"

While Tenten comforted the OOC Neji, Lee looked around the site, until he found Naruto.

"Whoa, guys! Naruto is on here!"

Neji stopped crying. "Am I on there?"

"No…"

"WHY NOT! I ROCK! HE SUCKS! I-"

"Yes, we know you're great, you're awesome, blah blah blah, now click on his name." Tenten said, looking over Lee's shoulder at the screen.

So, Lee clicked on Naruto.

"Whoa…" The three were amazed at how fast Gai's Verison DSL was. It was fast like lighting. It only took .00000000000000003 seconds for the page to open. Normally it takes me three hours. Then again, I have dial-up. When will my parents listen and get high-speed? Sorry, off-topic. Wow, that took a while… Once it only took me one letter…

Back to the story!

The three - Hey look! A nickel! I think I'm going to name him Fred!

Shows picture of author in field of flowers, running along side a nickel, laughing her head off, while happy music plays.

Author and nickel on a merry-go-round.

Author and nickel getting a balloon.

Author and nickel eating ice cream.

"Fred, I promise I'll never spend you." I say to Fred.

Music stops. "Oh look, bubble gum, only five cents."

Author sticks Fred down the black hole, and receives bubble gum.

Cherry flavored bubble gum.

Life is good.

Moving on…

The three looked amazed at the long list of stories.

"Wow…" The three said in unison.

"LOOK, THERE'S MY NAME!" Lee screamed, then clicked on the button over and over and over, driving Neji and Tenten nuts.

Then Neji screamed, "LEE! I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU DON'T STOP!"

-At the local Hooters-

Gai looked up.

"I have a strange feeling Lee needs me…"

A hot waitress walked by.

"But it can wait!"

-Back with our three idio- er heroes-

Lee ignored him and continued pressing the button like crazy.

"THAT'S IT!" Neji screamed, or roared, it was kind of both.

Neji then grabbed the back of Lee's head- er waist band, and dragged him to the middle of the floor.

Tenten sat at the computer chair, ignoring Lee's screams and cries for help.

Finally "SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO READ HERE!"

Lee and Neji looked up from the bloody massacre, and looked at Tenten.

"Sorry." They both said, but for Lee, it sounded messed-up because he couldn't talk through all the blood.

Then Neji dragged him into an unknown room and closed the door. Lee's screams then continued.

The door burst open, and the top ½ of Lee came out. "TENTEN! YOU HAVE TO HELP M-" Neji's hand shot out and pulled him back in, closing the door, while Lee screamed NoooOOOooo!

-At the Hooters-

Gai looked up from his –ahem- "business" with the Hooters girl and looked at Asuma and Kakashi, who looked up from there "business".

"Really, guys. I think Lee's in trouble!"

"I think you're paranoid." Kakashi replied.

"Ya, you're right." Gai then went back to doing stuff…

-With Team Gai-

Tenten screamed back "SHUT UP!"

Neji stuck his head out. "Sorry. It'll be over in a second."

The door then closed and Lee screamed for about five seconds. Then all was silent.

Neji calmly came out, and sat down next to Tenten, acting as though nothing unusual had happened, because, in the Life and Times of Team Gai, nothing had.

"So, what's it about?" Neji asked.

"I don't know. Something about you pushing Lee of a cliff…"

"That's not a bad idea…" Neji muttered, deep in concentration.

Lee then came out and looked at the screen, sitting on the other side of Tenten.

"Why did Neji push me off a cliff?"

"Because the author wrote it that way…"

The three then read the story.

Their reactions?

Lee was upset because, well, he got pushed off a cliff.

Neji was happy because, well, he pushed Lee off a cliff.

Tenten was trying to figure out what the hell was this site.

So, they want back to the story index.

"What is this?" Tenten asked.

"It looks like a site where people make up stories about us." Neji answered.

"Well, that's not nice." Lee said, a scowl on his face.

"Look at that one!" Tenten said, pointing to, you guessed it, The 20 Stupidest Things Team Gai Have Done!

"Click on it!"

"Okay, you don't need to yell. Sheesh!" Tenten clicked.

"Oh…" Lee started.

"My…" Tenten continued.

"Fucking…" Neji said.

"God." They all said in unison.

"This author, like, is right! These aren't stories!" Tenten said.

"They must be stalking us!" Lee screamed.

Damn Straight.

"Who's there?" The 3 ninja asked, pulling out weapons.

The author, and damn straight I've been stalking you. I know everything. Heck, I know this morning Neji had fish sticks for breakfast.

Lee and Tenten turned to Neji. "You had fish sticks?"

"Ya, Kisame sold them to me for 3 each."

"Wow…"

Ya, he also gets crack from Naruto in alleyways in the middle of the night, along with Lee, Kiba, and any other guy who acts like a maniac on steroids.

"Really?" Tenten asked Lee and Neji, who nodded their heads.

Ya, I rock, you suck! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA- COUGH- -COUGH- -COUGH- -CHOKE- -CHOKE- -GASP GASP PANT PANT- THUMP

"Hello, weird author person?" Lee said.

We are sad to say that the author died. Sorry for the inconvenience.

"What the…" Neji said.

"Okay…" Lee said.

"Now what?" Tenten asked.

The three thought for a second, putting their hands on their chins, looking into space, and going Hmmm…

"Let's read more stories!" Neji screamed like a giddy school girl. Wow, Neji plus giddy school girl equals what the fuck?

"Look, there's something that has all of our names!" Lee said, pointing at the screen.

"Put me with Sakura! PUT ME WITH SAKURA, GOD DAMN IT WOMEN!" Lee screamed, pushing Tenten off her chair, so she fell over and knocked Neji off his chair, and then Lee didn't want to be left out, so he jumped of his chair, too, body-slamming Neji and Tenten.

After Lee got beaten up, they looked up Lee with Sakura.

""WAHOO! I'm PAIRED UP WITH SAKURA TWO TIMES!"

"That's great, Lee…"

"I know, isn't it?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"The square route of an egg is this pineapple." Lee said, holding up Shikamaru's head.

"WTF?" Neji said, question marks above his head. Then, he pulled a calculator out of his pocket, and punched in some numbers. "Wow, your right!"

Lee pulled out an almost empty jar with two quarters in it out of his pocket. It was labeled "Lee was right. Neji was wrong." Neji grumbled, then pulled a similar jar. The difference was his said "Neji was right. Lee was wrong", and it was almost full,

He pulled out one and put it in Lee's jar. "SCORE!" Lee screamed.

Excuse me, "score" is no longer part of the English language because Lee just said it.

"Who's there this time?" Tenten screamed in her really high-pitch-shrilly-voice-thing.

I'm THE DEVIL, no I'm actually the author's BROTHER, though I'm pretty close because my sister is the devil, making me second in command! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCCCQQQQQQQWWWWWWWWIIIOOOOPPPPPPGTRFDHGVGHIIJFHKGFTYIKGHFTYIKGYFTYIYFTYFUVFFVFGKVKHVLGUIYTFTDFYDCDFYITDUIYDTYDYKRD -dies-

"Something's really wrong with that family…" Lee said, looking at the ceiling.

"No shit…" Neji and Tenten said together.

"What were we doing?" Lee asked.

"Uh…" The other two also forget.

"We should do the noodle dance!" The three screamed!

Use your noodle, do the noodle dance.

The 3three started dancing, while music played and a blue back drop came.

"I've got it!" Neji screamed. "We were folding socks!"

He then pulled of his socks, and he doesn't wear socks which is what makes it so random, and folded them. Lee and Tenten followed, though they don't wear socks either.

The three neatly put their socks in a pile in the sink in the bathroom, then went back to the computer.

They sat down.

They stared at the screen.

"I think we were doing something involving this computer." Tenten said.

The three squinted their eyes and looked closer at the screen.

"I've got it!" Neji screamed.

He reached over and started slamming the screen up and down over again.

"Wait, we were reading stories!" Tenten screamed.

-SNAP-

Neji lifted the broken laptops monitor.

"Whoops…"

"And we thought you were the smart one." Tenten said.

"I can fix it!" Neji yelled. Then, he went over to the phone and called Dell. The wall then rotated, and the three were in a Dell place/workshop/whatever. Just like in the commercials.

So, they did all that awesome stuff, got the new computer, and set it up.

"Told you I can fix it." Neji said. Then, he pulled out his "Neji was right. Tenten was wrong" jar out. It wasn't as full as his Lee jar, but, oh well.

So Tenten took out her jar and all that crap.

Then, Gai walked in. "HELLO MY YOUTHFUL- what the hell are you doing in my house?" He said, pulling out a gun.

The end. Ya, I know it was shit on wheels. Oh well. Be grateful for what you get.

REVIEW!

Next up: Moomoomoothegirl's Jeopardy, Team Gai Style!

No Preview! Why? When you review, make up the questions Gai is going to ask! Guaranteed that Lee will answer everything with youth or similar.

ASTALABYE-BYE!