Hello people! Sorry to keep you waiting! Anywho, I'm going to make this story 2 chapters long. I don'y know why, I just want to...

Anyway, ENJOY AND REVIEW!

Disclaimer: ... I don't own Naurto, because if I did, it woujldn't be Naruto, it would be Retard. That is what Naruto is, but in a good way...

Once upon a time, there was a pretty princess named Miato Gai. Actually, he wasn't very pretty and he wasn't a princess. (At least we hope not.)

He was merely a sensei for team of three little idiots. He, of course, was the biggest idiot of the bunch, both physically and mentally.

Yah.

But that is all about to change.

One day, Gai woke up, and did his morning routine. (Eat, Get dressed, and Take a crap…)

Then, he went to get the mail.

In the mail there was a very strange letter, and I mean VERY STRANGE.

It read:

Dear Miato Gai,

You have won the chance to become a Pretty, Pretty princess.

You probably do not remember entering this contest, but you did. You were entered the moment you were born.

The oompalompas will come to pick you up at 12 noon.

Love,

Osama Bin Laden

Gai stared at the paper. Osama Bin Laden?

Oh well.

You see, it had been his secret desire since he was just a wee little chickadee to be a pretty princess. Wasn't it every man's?

But, Oompalompas? Oh, well, whatever floats Osama Bin Laden's boat…

-At training-

Neji, Tenten, and Lee were all sitting around, eating ice cream. Seems normal enough, no?

But only if the ice cream wasn't fish flavored. Which it was.

So it wasn't that normal.

Whoa, off topic…

But then, GAI POPPED OUT OF ONE OF THE TREES!

How? Don't ask me, I'm the gingerbread man.

"YO MOTHERFUCKERS WUZZUP?"

Everyone was silent.

"Anywho, I'm quitting the team!"

"This is becoming a regular event…" Neji whispered.

"I have a very important job. This job is…"

The 3 Musketeers stood there, anxious… waiting to hear what important, demanding job pulled their sensei away from their team…

"And that job is… TO BECOME A PRETTY PRINCESS!"

Silence.

"A pretty… princess?" Tenten asked, as if she had not heard correctly.

Gai confirmed it with a nod of the head.

Neji and Tenten exchanged glances, then both collapsed to the floor, laughing hysterically. (Yes, Neji.)

Lee, on the other hand, made that WAHHHHHHHHH sound he made in episode 195, when Gai showed them the spandex, hearts in his eyes.

"You are so lucky! I've always wanted to be a pretty princess! You are so awesome!"

"I know I am. In fact, I'm so awesome that I managed to put a jutsu on the spandex that I gave to you and Naruto that will slowly devour your brains, so slowly you will not feel it, but it is happening, make no mistake. And as it does that, I am gaining that power, slowly becoming stronger, awaiting the day when I become stronger than the Fifth, then I will destroy Konaha! But that is just phase one in my master plan… Hehehe…"

"What?"

"…"

"…"

"…Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

MALE-BONDING TIME!

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Ahem. Moving on…

After these two "episodes" happened. The 3 Musketeers decided to investigate further.

"So, what exactly are you going to do when you become a… pretty, pretty…princess…" Neji asked.

"This." Gai said, then the game Pretty, Pretty princess fell out of the sky.

(A/N- For all of you that don't know this game, you all spin a spinner and move around the board, trying to get all you pieces of jewelry. You can be pink, purple, green, or blue. You land on a space with a piece of jewelry, and you have to take it in your color. Once you get all your jewelry and the crown, which there is only one of, you win. They also have those put everything back spaces and take whatever you want. If somebody has the crown and you either land on the crown or take whatever, then you can take it from whoever has it. This probably makes no sense, but you can look it up on google.)

So then they all sat down on the table that appeared out of nowhere, like everything else in this story. Then, they picked colors.

"On the count of 3, everyone pick a color." Gai instructed.

"1, 2, baloney sandwich, 3! Green!" Gai screamed, picking up the green piece.

"Aw, I wanted to be green…" Lee pouted.

"I'm blue." Neji said.

"I'm purple." Said Tenten.

"But…that leaves me with pink…" Lee said picking up the pink piece and looking at it sadly.

"Don't worry Lee, women like men who wear pink." Tenten said consolingly.

"Yes, but men who wear pink don't like women." Neji mumbled.

"True…" Tenten replied, while Lee just glared.

"I like women. Haven't I proven that by making a total idiot out of myself chasing after Sakura?" Lee countered.

"Yes, you have made an idiot out of yourself. We all laugh at you. Ha. But that can all just be a scam to cover up the fact that you really liked men."

"I don't like men!"

"Sure you don't…"

"I don't!"

"Then explain why you're always hugging random men!"

"I'm not always hugging random men!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"I'm sorry Lee, would you like a hug?" Neji asked, spreading open his arms.

"Yes!" Lee replied, sniffling.

"HA! This proves it, you like hugging random men!"

"You're not a random man though!"

"Then what am I?"

"My teammate!"

"So?"

"Then you're not random!"

"That's what you think…"

"What?"

"How do you even know that I am you're teammate?"

"What?"

"How do you know that I'm not some 40-year-old man dressed up as a 14 year old?"

"You have the white eyes!"

"Contacts!"

"…oh…"
"See, maybe I am a random man."
"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I said MAYBE. Maybe I am your teammate…"

"STOP! STOP IT! YOU'RE HURTING MY TINY BRAIN!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Evilly…)"

"Okay, can we just get on with the damn game?" Tenten yelled over the commotion.

Everything was silent for a few seconds. Then Lee and Neji resumed their spots at the table. And then it began…

To say it was intense would be an understatement. In fact, it was so extreme, we had to invent a word for it. Huyulacroper. Yes. Huyulacroper.

It started off with them spinning for the lowest number. However, when Gai got 10, he changed it so it was highest number. He got 1. So then he screamed at the game until Tenten bitch slapped him. Then they decided just to let him go first if it bothered him that much. But then he went into a 3 hour lecture about it was not youthful to take pity on him, so then they said fine, he could go last, but then he started crying, saying how he wanted to go first. So, they started the game with Gai just sobbing on the floor, against Lee's protest.

Yep. Huyulacroper.

Anywho, I'll skip the actual game. Here's a summary of what happened. Gai won, but actually Neji won. He got all his pieces (necklace, earrings, ring, and bracelet) and the crown. If you think he normally looks gay, you should have seen him then. But Gai wanted to win, claiming he was really the prettiest princess, so then he beat him up and then tied him upside down on a tree, and claimed he was the winner. No one argued.

And then, the oompalompas showed up, singing.

"Oh, we are the oompalompas! Here to take this man to the CASTLE! Doh-doh-doh-doh!" They all sang.

As they sang, Lee asked Gai, "Who are they?"

"They're the oompalompas coming to take me to my castle."

"Wait, you were actually being serious?" Tenten asked.

"MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!" Neji …uh Mph-ed… waving him arms around, comic style, still upside down.

"Oompalompa! We are here to take this old-"

"OLD?" Gai screamed, punching the poor oompalompa to the next chapter.

"Uhhh…" The oompalompas looked at each other.

"Young lady-"

"LADY?" Gai once again punched another poor little oompalompa to the next chapter.

"Uhhh…" The oompalompas looked at each other.

"Man to his castle!"

"Much better!" Gai sang.

""MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Wow…" Lee and Tenten whispered in unison.

"Where he shall rule over us FOR-EEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!"

"Damn right!" Gai sang.

""MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!" Neji was still upside down…Poor thing…

Then, the fairy godmother lady from Cinderella flew down from the sky.

"Hello. I'm your fairy godmother." She said.

"I have a fairy godmother?" Gai asked, his eyes sparkling as the oompalompas sang in the distance.

"No, but I'm getting paid $17.98 an minute. You don't get paid like that in Disney!" She then laughed evilly.

"Oh…" Gai oh-ed.

"-Ahem- Anywho this is your dress!"

She then tapped Gai on the head, and suddenly he was in a big, pink, poof-tastic dress, complete with fake-diamond crown and high heels.

Gai had a shocked expression on his face, the kind where you put your hands on either side of your face and your eyes become wide and so does your mouth.

"What the…" Tenten mumbled.

"So pretty…" Lee admired, staring with hearts in his eyes at Gai.

Tenten gave him a weird look, then scooted away.

"Let's take him off to the CASTLE!" The oompalompas sang.

"MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!" Does nobody care about Neji?

"I promise to do my best!" Gai sang in a high-pitched girly voice.

"I'M FREE!" Neji yelled, finally getting down.

All the happy music stopped. All the oompalompas glared at him, eyes red.

"Oh, fiddle sticks…" Neji mumbled.

Then, THEY POUNCED! All the oompalompas tackled him to the ground, then tied him to the tree upside down. AGAIN.

"MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!" Oh well…

"Off to the castle!" Then Gai and the oompalompas danced off to the castle.

Lee blinked. "How long has that been there?" Lee asked Tenten.

"It's always been there." Tenten informed.

"Lee looked back at it. "How could I have not noticed that?" Lee asked.

Tenten shrugged.

"MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!"

The two turned around and looked at Neji.

They looked at him, then each other.

"Want to come back for him tomorrow?" Tenten asked grinning.

"Works for me." Lee replied, also grinning.

So, they left him there and strolled into the sunset.

"MPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH!" As soon as he realized they weren't coming back, he started to cry. Poor baby.

-At the castle-

Gai sat there and sighed. He was sitting at his throne, and simply put, HE WAS BORED!

Gai sighed again, resting his head on his hand. Then he tapped his foot against the floor.

Wait.

He tapped it again. Suddenly, he smiled.

He started tapping his feet and banging his hands against the armrest. As soon as he found a cool beat, he started beatboxing.

Oh, yeah.

He sat there doing this for quite some time, the noise echoing through the castle.

"Excuse me, Princess Gai?"

"What!" Gai snapped looking down at the oompalompa. How dare he interrupt his music making?

"You need to chose a prince, jester, and maid." The little guy said, holding his clipboard in front of his face trembling.

"Really? I know just the people…" Gai then started laughing evilly.

-That night-

Neji still hung upside down from his little tree branch, when suddenly a noise was heard in the distance.

His eyes snapped open. "Guys, did you came back for me? Guys?" Neji called out into the darkness. Suddenly, a dark shadow loomed over him. His eyes went wide. "Wait you're not- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Neji's screams could be heard all the way at Lee's house.

Lee awoke with a little grunt, then sat up, rubbing his head.

"I swear I just heard Neji screaming…" He shrugged, then went to lie back down, when a hand reached out from behind him, and pulled him away, covering his mouth, to smother his cries of protest.

Tenten, at her house, woke up with a start. She listened for a couple seconds. "Huh… My Neji-and-Lee-are-in-trouble senses were tingling but I guess it was no-" A fist hit her in the back of the head, knocking her unconscious…

-The next day-

Tenten wandered around the castle halls. She could not believe it! Last night, the freakin' oompalompas came and knocked her out, then, she woke up tied up in a room, when her sensei, of all people, came out and told she was now a prince! What the heck? She wasn't even a boy! Maybe a bit tomboyish at times but not biologically a boy. To make things worse, she was now in a cape and poofy shorts and really high socks, along with a weird collared shirt.

She sighed. Life sucked.

"Why are you wearing a cape?" Came a familiar voice from behind her.

She spun around to see Neji.

Her eyes widened.

"You, my friend, are wearing tights."

"I know."

"…You look so stupid…"

"I can look stupider."

She looked up from his tights.

"How?"

He pulled from behind his back a weird hat with bells on it.

Then he put it on.

Tenten stared at him for a couple of seconds.

"…" Then she burst out laughing.

"I don't look that stupid… Do I?"

"YES!" She still laughed at him, doubled over, tears welling up in her eyes.

"…" Neji just stood there.

"Hey guys!" Yelled a voice from behind Neji. They turned around to see Lee standing at the end of the highway, wearing a… Oh my god…

The 2 stared wide-eyed at Lee's… French maid uniform, complete with fishnet stockings and red 3-inch pumps.

"What?"

They continued staring.

"What is it? Does this outfit make my buttox look big?" Lee turned around so his back was facing the others. He then twisted his head around to look at his ass.

"It does, doesn't it?"

The other 2 were still staring.

"I know I should have gotten the size 10, but I was just so hopeful that I could fit into the size 8! I'm so obese! I'm passed fat!" He ran away sobbing like a baby.

Neji looked at Tenten.

"That never happened, got it?" Tenten nodded.

"By the way, what was up with leaving me there yesterday!?!" He yelled at her.

"Uh…um…" Tenten refused to look at him, though she could feel him glaring at her.

"Um, Jester Neji…" Neji jumped and turned around. There stood a little oompalompa.

"Princess Gai wants to be entertained. Prince Tenten can come too."

"What?" Neji said staring wide eyed at the orange creature.

"Princess Gai want to be-"

"I heard that! That wasn't a I didn't hear you what, it was a I heard you but you have to be joking what."

"But he wants to be entertained."

"I don't care. He can entertain himself by clipping his toenails. "

"But-"

"No, I'm not entertaining him. I'm not. I won't. I refuse to."

-10 minutes later-

" I can't believe I'm entertaining him…" Neji mummered.

Neji stood there in front of Gai and Tenten, wondering what he should do.

"Juggle." Gai said.

"Juggle what?" Neji whined.

"These." Gai threw some balls at him, and no, not those kinds of balls. Sorry.

Neji caught them with ease, then tried to juggle them.

However, he instead threw them up, too hard, smacked the ceiling, fell down, and banged him on the head.

"Owww!" He yelled, grabbing his head.

"Damn balls!" He then jumped on top of them, but it hurt his feet, so then, he jumped back and yelped in pain, clutching his feet.

Gai and Tenten were laughing at Neji's pain.

"ENOUGH!" Gai screamed.

"What?" Neji asked, tears in his eyes.

"I have a better idea!"

"What?"

"Dance."

"To what?"

"This." Gai snapped his fingers when-

MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD AND THEY'RE LIKE IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS DAMN IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS I CAN TEACH YOU BUT I'LL HAVE TO CHARGE MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD…

Neji stared at the ceiling where the music was coming from, then at Gai.

"Well? Dance!"

"How?"

"Like a whore! Shake your ass like there's no tomorrow!" Gai said throwing his hands up in the air.

Well, then he started dancing.

He was shaking his ass likes there's no tomorrow.

Then, Lee came out and they started dancing together. Like sluts. They were skipping around, slapping their asses, sucking on their fingers, and simply put, IT WAS WRONG.

But Gai and Tenten enjoyed it.

Finally, the song was over.

Gai and Tenten were laughing so hard, they were crying. Hopefully you readers at home are too cause that means I'm doing my job.

Lee went back to his cleaning, and once Neji realized what he had just done, his eyes widened, then ran out screaming.

Tenten wiped some tears from her eyes, then looked at Gai. "Did you get that on tape?" She asked.

"Actually, I did." Gai responded, holding up a suspicious looking tape.

They both stared it for a few seconds.

"Let's send it to the Hyuuga's." Tenten said.

Gai nodded, then snapped his fingers. In an instant, there were at lest 40 Oompalompas around his feet.

"Yes, Princess Gai?"

"Send this to the Hyuuga's."

"Yes, Princess Gai."

Then they all filed out in a single file line.

"What do you think they're going to do with it?" Gai asked Tenten.

She shrugged.

-At the next Hyuuga meeting-

LALA-LALA-Laa The boys are waiting LALA-LALA-Laa MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

All the Hyuuga's were laughing hysterically as they watched Lee pour water all over Neji, who had taken off his shirt.

"Entertainment hasn't been this good since we got the tape of Hiashi making out with that tree!" One Hyuuga whispered to the other.

He nodded in agreement

-Later at the Castle-

"Come on Neji, you can't stay under there forever!" Lee called, poking the broom under the table.

"Go away, yes I can!" Neji yelled back.

"No, how are you going to eat?" Lee asked.

"I don't need to eat!" He replied.

"Come on Neji!" He said, poking him again with his broom.

"Stop poking me!"

"Why?"

-CRUNCH-

Lee lifted up the broom.

The top was bitten on.

He looked under the table. Neji was gnawing on the top. He opened up his eyes to look at him, looking really creepy.

Lee stared, then looked at the broom, then just left, eyes still wide.

-Later-

"Come on Neji, it wasn't that bad!" Tenten said to the poor little munchkin under the table.

"NO!" Called out a voice from under the table.

Tenten looked at Lee. "I don't think he's coming out…"

Lee held up his broom and sniffled. "He broke my broom…"

"Yes I know, Lee."

He sniffled again, and Tenten turned back to the table.

"Neji, you weren't really that bad. In fact, you were pretty good. Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"MTV." Came a sad voice.

Of course.

Tenten sighed.

"Please come out?"

"No…" He whined. "Leave me alone under here with my little civilization of dust bunnies! … You didn't clean under here too well Lee…"

"Would you came out for a cookie?" Tenten bribed.

"…What kind…"

"Chocolate chip."

"…Bring it to me…"

Tenten and Lee looked at each other.

"He actually went for that?" Lee said amazed.

"Ya!" Tenten responded happily.

CRUNCH!

Tenten and Lee looked back under the table.

Neji had just taken a bite of the broom top that he had bitten off earlier. He looked at them.

"What? Wood is VERY nutritious." He said like a professor.

They just stared, looked at each other, then just left.

-Later-

"Where is the kitchen!?!" Tenten screamed, falling to her knees.

"I don't know!" Lee cried, falling to his knees beside her.

"We must have been searching for hours, maybe even days!"

"We've only been looking for 13 minutes Tenten…"

"Oh…"

They looked at each other. Where was the kitchen?

Then, they noticed some movement out of the corners of their eyes. They turned and looked at the Oompalompa walking passed.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the kitchen is?" Lee asked, running up to it.

"Sure, maid Lee. It's quite simple actually. Just walk down to the end of the hall, then take a right, walk about 6 feet, then take a left, then go up the staircase on the right, then walk down the hallway with all the paintings, then you'll come to a door that says Ball room, walk through there, then go out the second door on the right, then walk down that hall, then make a right, go up the left staircase, make another right, then you'll be right outside the kitchen doors. See, easy!" He concluded happily.

Lee turned to Tenten. "Okay, now we can either follow those directions and risk getting lost and starving to death, or we can just leave Neji."

Tenten thought for a couple of seconds. "Well, I do feel kinda bad for leaving him upside down on the tree…"

Lee looked at her. "Come on, he'll come out eventually!"

Tenten gave him this really cute look.

'No, must not give in, must not give in, must not give in, must not- oh who am I kidding, I'm giving in.' Lee thought.

"Fine." Lee said, hanging his head.

"Yay!" Tenten said, smiling and jumping up and down.

- 20 minutes later-

"Remind me why we didn't just leave him again?" Tenten asked, growling in frustration.

"I wanted to leave him, but NO, you wanted to get him his dang cookie!" Lee yelled, angriest any of us have ever seen.

Oh. Scary.

"Okay, so I screwed-up. Let's just go back and leave him there with his little civilization of dust bunnies."

"…I swear I cleaned under there…"

"What does it matter? Let's just go back." Tenten then turned around and started to walk when she realized something.

She turned back to Lee.

"I have absolutely no clue how to get back…" She cried.

Lee started crying too.

They were going to spend the rest of their lives here together, until they either starved to death or the oompalompas came and ate them!

What the heck?

Oh, the suspense! What will happen to them? Will Lee and Tenten make it out alive? Will Neji learn to part with his civilization of dust bunnies? Will Gai succed as a princess? I don't know!

Review, and soon, you will know...

Do do do do, do dod dod do, You are now entering... The Ally zone...