Chapter XI

The Technical Difficulties

So what's it going to be? Do I abandon the plan?

...No bloody way. I've…got to teach the git a lesson…

Well if I'm honest, I don't give a damn about the plan; I want to seduce him, kiss him, and indulge him…and then what? Do I really let him fall on his ass? Humiliate him like I was meant to? What if I can't let him go?

But how can I not continue this affair?

I let my head fall into my hands as I shake it back and forth, trying to clear out the confusion. No such luck.

This is crazy. It's Malfoy, Malfoy! I've hated him ever since the first train journey to Hogwarts- how did everything change so suddenly? It could just be the girl hormones…but somehow it feels deeper than that.

Restless, I get up from my seat on the statue I had hidden behind and decide to head back to the common room. With a pang I realize I'm heading towards the Gryffindor Headquarters automatically. I feel homesick for the comfort of Ron and Hermione…but how can I tell them what's raging through me? I have no idea how they'd react but Ron might just punch me. Maybe Hermione would shake her head woefully and sigh, saying she knew this would happen.

Taking a deep breath, I turn and head for the dungeons as the bell rings for the end of today's lessons. Soon enough, a low rumble fills the castle as students begin to make their way to dinner. Sighing, I redirect my steps yet again so I can go and eat. My stomach feels hollow; I need to get some food in me.

I take a seat, completely lost in my daydreams. Too late, I realize I'm sitting next to Pansy, who is glaring at me in disbelief.

"What are you doing?"

My bewilderment vanishes as her ugly face, set in stone, makes that awful face at me, as if I don't deserve oxygen. Does she think she can intimidate me? If I want to get Malfoy, then she has to face the facts. She has to realize that she can't get to me.

"Waiting for lunch," I reply, in such a cool tone she blinks. Once. Twice. That's right; the bitch is back, "What are you doing?"

"Y-you can't talk to me like that…" She wavers, completely uncertain and out of her depth.

"What are you going to do about it?" I mock, raising a haughty eyebrow, "Now are you going to get over yourself and leave me in peace or am I going to have to hex you in front of the whole school?"

I don't have to say anymore. It's amazing what a few intimidating words can do to the queen bitch of Hogwarts. It's surprisingly easy, almost disappointing. With none of her friends to help her, she turns back to her empty plate, staring at it as she waits for our food to be sent up from the kitchens. Even when Esme, Hillary and Daphne do join us, looking mildly surprised that we're sitting side by side, she says nothing. When the food finally fills the golden plates, she shovels her food into her big mouth and flees the scene. Esme immediately gets up and bustles after her. The irritating puppy will only annoy Pansy more. Hillary and Daphne continue eating in silence, apparently not having seen their friend's episode.

Her empty seat is soon filled, by him. I try to carry on eating, but my cutlery starts to slip through my moist fingers.

"What made you run off in Care of Magical Creatures?" He asks in a velvet voice that could make me tremble. I manage to control myself as I reply.

"Oh, I wanted to wash where the Pixie bit me." I say airily, "I get a bit woozy at the sight of blood…"

"I see, well next time warn me when you're about to make an exit. It'll make it easier." I look up just in time to see him wink at me. It takes a few seconds for me to look away, and to smile as I do it.

"I like things to be unpredictable." I tell him, washing my food down with the last of my pumpkin juice. There's a burning at the bottom of my stomach as I rise shakily from my seat and Malfoy follows. Together, we leave the Great Hall, our elbows brushing and my heart thudding. He seems completely at ease, his walk gracefully feline and a subtle smile on his lips.

So…do I go with the plan? Or do I go with this fire that's slowly consuming me, taking control? Any minute now, we'll pass through those doors and be alone in the shady corridor.

Remember he's a bastard! The whole of Gryffindor is counting on you to humiliate him! All you have to do is kiss him a couple of times…although you're aching to run your hands through his white-gold hair, across his impressive arms, to stroke his swan neck…make him fall for you, then crush him. It's revenge, not love.

Grabbing hold of my senses, I choose the plan- I have the upper hand, he has no idea that soon I'll crush him. I'll get my own back not just for the curse he's put on me, but for all the detentions he's got me into, all the taunts about my mother, Ron's family, Hermione's parents. The fire that consumes me now is one of anger, not of passion.

The huge doors close behind us and we're left in silence, alone. The raging hate makes my mind up for me- I seize his hand, not noticing any reacting from my hormones at holding it and pull us through a tapestry, the same one I came across Ginny snogging Dean behind. (My guess is that the walls it conceals have seen hundreds of rendezvous' throughout its history) He's completely silent, he didn't even gasp. It's as if he was waiting for this to happen. Cocky dickhead!

I push him against the wall, my hands against his hard chest and finally, I kiss him. Compared to the sloppy one Cho had forced on me under the mistletoe last year this isn't bad…it's timeless, full of feeling and passion. I feel his hands on my waist and they burn through my robes. It feels like a hundred degrees in this tiny enclosure. My hands move up to his shoulders which I use to pull myself up so I can feel more, desperation and lust coursing through me. Emotions scream through me and I almost forget the plan, I almost carry on kissing him forever, all self control forgotten. Luckily, I manage to break the connection, and we stare at each other, our chests heaving, my hands sliding down to his chest again to feel his heartbeat drumming underneath my fingertips.

"About time, too." He whispers gently, his ashen eyes smoldering yet again. I force a smile, "I was wondering how long it would be until this happened." His fingers slip through my long, glossy hair. I gaze at him long and hard, suddenly startled by our close proximity, wondering how the hell it all came to this, snuggled up to Malfoy, as he holds me close.

"It was inevitable." I smile up at him, almost blinded by his beauty, "I guess I was drawn to you." Might be laying it on a bit thick, but compliments are great for enticing!

"You mean I was drawn to you." He corrects me, "At first it seemed like you didn't want to know me. You even forgot my name! No one forgets my name.." It really sounds like he really cared about that…it was that easy?

"Well, I didn't really forget." The truth spills out. Don't ask why; I'm very muddled right now! "I only said it so you'd think I wasn't interested. Boys like a challenge, right?"

He just looks at me for a while, mirth in his dappled eyes, before laughing out loud, the sound bouncing brashly around the compact space.

"That's the kind of girl I like..." He brushes his thumb down my cheek, his other hand at the small of my back, holding me close to him, "Always has a plan."

I breathe in his scent, taking in his appetizing aroma and wishing I could just melt into him. It takes yet another moment to remember that I hate this bastard. Really, I do…which is why I'm letting him kiss me again, why I'm kissing him back, my hands linked around his slender neck and this wonderful plush feeling spreading through me, to my fingers and toes.

Seriously, what's wrong with me? I know I'm not gay, I know it. Either it's the girl hormones or Malfoy's slipped a love potion in my drink.

Or maybe he just woke something inside of me, that's been waiting to get out…

Whatever it is, I love kissing him- I can worry about the technical difficulties later!

"You WHAT?" How can her friends tolerate her shrieking? Pansy storms right up close to me, her hands not even on her hips because she's too furious to even muster attitude right now. I'm sitting on my bed. It's not a four poster, but it's elegant with a silvery-jade curtain attached to the ceiling that draws all around it with callow green bed sheets instead of scarlet.

"We kissed." I repeat clearly, smiling widely.

"But…Malfoy and me…" She splutters to a halt, her intellect failing her yet again.

"You know that shade doesn't really match your skin." I tell her lightly, concentrating on flicking some dust from my skirt as she turns a pasty shade of puce, putting even Uncle Vernon to shame.

She storms from the room without another word, slamming the door so hard the window panes rattle. A portrait of a snide looking little girl shrieks: "SHUT UP!!" I don't know who had acted brattier. It's just me with Daphne, Hillary and Esme again. Esme jumps up, looking distressed and makes for the door but Hillary stretches out a long arm from her bed and grabs the neck of her robes, looking extremely bored.

"For once, Esme," She says with a hint of irritation in her voice, "Just leave it."

"She really likes Malfoy you know, Lottie." Daphne says very quietly, "You really shouldn't have done it." So this is how it's going to be. Well if they don't want to play nice then-

"But nice one."

There's a silence as I watch Daphne grinning- really smiling- at me! I look over to Hillary, and even she is smirking deviously. Esme smoothes down her darling nightdress and hurries to her own bed.

"Ignore her." Hillary says snidely, motioning to Esme who is already under her covers, hunched in a little ball, "She's terrified that Pansy will find out we really don't give a shit about her problems. She'll get the worst of her wrath, after all; she's never bothered to argue with me or Daphne."

Somehow, I'm not surprised.

"So Malfoy really does like you?" Daphne pursues, sitting up straight and looking awake for once. I nod smugly.

"And do you like him?" Hillary persists, coming over and sitting next to me. It's definitely a new experience; girly talks!

"Yes. What's not to like?"

"He is outrageously gorgeous..." Daphne admits. I'm just surprised she's used a word like 'outrageous'.

"Yes, it's almost rude to be that sexy." Hillary chips in. I giggle with them, enjoying this a lot.

"But isn't he a bit boring?" Hillary continues, "Before, he was always talking- showing off about his mansion, his broom stick, his father- everything. He was making fun of the mudbloods with us, especially of Granger. Then he wouldn't stop moaning about Harry Potter- 'Dumbledore's pet, scar head, the school's hero, ugh it makes me sick'- my god he hated that boy so much, we thought he fancied him!"

She and Daphne giggled uncontrollably as I stared at them in disgust. EW! Malfoy fancying me? I mean, the real me? Imagine Malfoy being a gay- it'd be hysterical! Girls get such silly ideas sometimes. I'm glad boys don't have such a ridiculous imagination.

"But then in fifth year…" Daphne gets back on track, "He just…went quiet. It was like he switched off. He would just sit quietly in the common room, in lessons, at mealtimes, hardly ever joining in the conversation. He'd go to bed really early and even when a mudblood once threw something at him- that's right threw! It was that Creevey I think- he just walked off! He left us to hex him- I mean it's insane the way he just changed.

"It could've been his father?" I guess, "Isn't he in prison?"

"Well whatever it is…it's affected him hugely." Hillary tells me darkly, but immediately brightens up as she says: "But if you keep it up with this whole Malfoy thing, then he's bound to cheer up!"

"I'll…do my best?" I say, faking a grin, knowing that if I do keep up the whole Malfoy thing, then I'll hardly be cheering him up- crushing his soul, maybe, but not cheering him up. Do I really want to do this?

For the last time, you big girl, YES! You should be relishing the fact that Malfoy is going through a difficult patch- he's made sure you've gone through more than necessary throughout Hogwarts! If you keep changing your mind, then nothing will happen! Just get over your emotions, and then soon you'll be a hero in Gryffindor again, sitting with your friends by a fire, staring after red-haired girls.

"Well, you've definitely given Pansy a reality check." Daphne says happily, "She was going to have to realize that Malfoy didn't fancy her. She's been kidding herself for years!"

"Ugh it was utterly tiresome listening to her babble on about him every night!"

"Oh his hair-"

"-His face-"

"-His eyes-"

"-His bum!-"

We collapse into fits of laughter as Esme sniffles into her pillow.

I make a mental note to check out Malfoy's bum later.