Chapter XIV

Counting the Stars

Thinking back, I don't think I've ever been in such a state. My knees are shaking in my too tight jeans, my stomach feels like it's just dropped away from me and as Draco walks towards me, I see four of him. In any other situation, I'd see this as a blessing, but right now, I'm wandering which one to avoid throwing up on.

"Good evening." He greets quietly, flawlessly polite as he offers his hand for me to hold. I realize my own palms are cold and moist with sweat. Instead, I link my arm through his, and attempt a shaky smile.

"Are you ok?" He asks, looking down at me with mild interest, "You look a bit clammy." He probably thinks I've got the jitters over our first date, not that I'm secretly the boy he'd cursed and forgotten about suddenly realizing that he'd fancied his nemesis- as if he has an imagination big enough!

"Gee thanks!" I mutter, trying to keep on my feet. He helps steady me as he holds a soft hand to my forehead. It's almost as sweaty as mine- is he really nervous about this?

"Maybe we should skip the Quidditch match." He murmurs, stroking my temple now with his thumb. It helps considerably.

Even though I'm desperate to sweep the floor with him (with my broom), I still can't help muttering: "Mmm..."

"It's ok." He soothed, but it's really not! "I had a surprised planned anyway…"

…Forget gender confusion-"Surprise?" Draco nods, smirking, but in an achingly alluring manner. Butterflies flutter around my stomach as I dream up all the possibilities.

Maybe it's a boat ride across the lake…

Or perhaps a midnight stroll over the grounds…

Could it possibly be a cute little picnic set in the middle of the Quidditch Pitch…?

But it was so much better than my cliché attempts at an imagination. As Draco leads me quietly through the castle-surprisingly at ease for someone without an invisibility cloak or marauders map- I feel my heart beat grow gradually faster and faster. Just his hand in mind makes it so unbearable when I remember that I'm a guy and it's totally wrong…

Look, you're not a guy at this moment, ok? You chose to be a girl so you could get back at him. You were going to make him fall for you. Done. You wanted him to be completely assured that you're going steady. Nearly done- you can convince him tonight. Then all you have to do is…have sex with him…Easy, right?

It's not so hard! Sex nowadays is always based on revenge and lust! Two of the most important factors of the emotions that are raging in you right now. He wants you. You know deep down you want him, but you just can't let it get in the way. It's a stupid crush- just a stupid crush! Just concentrate on the seduction, remember it's just an act and for the love of MERLIN don't-look-into-his-eyes! You could get lost…

"We're here…" He hisses over dramatically, swinging the door open and gesturing to a fancy candle lit dinner…what a prissy- OH I CAN'T DO IT!!

Here's what really happens:

"We're here." He smiles at me, his smoky eyes crinkling enticingly as he leads me into the astronomy tower. It's a beautiful, cloudless night. All the candles are snuffed out, apart from two sitting at an elegant table, holding two dishes of what looks like purple strawberries and cream that looks so fluffy it could be clouds.

"Since we've already had dinner," He tells me as I throw my head back and look at the stars, all nausea forgotten, "I thought we could just have a light dessert."

"It's perfect…" I breathe, "Draco, you are good at this." I'm spellbound. Enchanted. Charmed…Snap. OUT. Of. It. Remember every snide comment, every stupid impression, every fucking charade he's pulled to get you into trouble. He's a prick!

"In the fifth year he changed…" Daphne reminisces...

Maybe he's changed for the better?

ARGH! Stop trying to find a loop hole and seduce this bastard!

He pulls out a chair for me and I sit gracefully. He then walks round and sits down himself. He ignores his food and instantly takes my hands in his. They're so much bigger than mine, but this doesn't mean they're not elegant. His tendons are pronounced along his forearm, and I can just make out the fairest of hairs on his lovely arms.

"Lottie…" He sighs passionately, once again transforming into some unrecognizable creature, someone loving and kind, gentle and soft. I blink at him, daring him silently to go on, "I've grown to care about you so strongly…that a Quidditch Match just didn't seem good enough for our date."

Ugh. No words of love, already? I don't care about the date- at least I get some food! Yes, I may be seeming a little bit ungrateful and cheap, but this is me masking my true emotions…like isn't he kind, isn't he considerate, explaining why the sudden change of plans? He cares about me…really cares.

"I wanted to show you the stars from Hogwarts." Though he doesn't know I've seen them a million times in Astronomy. I pull up a coy smile and squeeze his hands in return. I don't think I'm quite ready for words.

"The stars are also symbolic." Oh here we go…'If I could- which I can't- I'd reach up into the sky and take down a star just for you!' Well if you could just reach up, it wouldn't symbolize much effort then would it? But what really comes out surprises me. A lot.

"They symbolize the fact that even if I had all the time in the world to count the many stars, I still wouldn't be able to condense what I feel into words, apart from those special three..." Is that a hint of color tinging his pale visage?

Three words…no, they can't be. It's been three weeks! My eyes widen despite myself, and I tense up, praying half that he'll say it and half that he won't-

"I love you."

I tug at him blindly, trying to find that oasis- and there it is- his lips, my lifeline.

I don't notice the room we're in, what does it matter?

As long as I'm up against him, filling his mind,

his heart,

his blood stream,

making sure that all he can see is me.

Lottie.

Not Harry. Why complicate things further with silly identities?

All that is, is now.

Is him.

Is us.

Here.

Kissing, exploring, fumbling, burning.

His lips find my neck, and I arch, run my hand through his hair, finally.

All the while, I am spreading out my fingers and clutching them again across the expanse of his back.

But I miss his lips, so I crash mine against them once more.

It's so chaotic. It's so loud, the blood hammering in my head, the grazing of skin against skin.

And then…our clothes…we realize that they're really getting in the way- quite an inconvenience-why do we have clothes? Why bother when all that matters is they have to come off. Now.

First his shirt, it's colour or design-whichever- is vague in my mind as it drops to the floor. The burning roars louder as my eyes travel across the plains of his chest, but my hands are doing most of the traveling.

He reacts to my touch,

Pulls me closer,

Wants me closer- needs me closer.

Now it's my turn, the floral blouse rips, but we don't hear it, and it falls to the floor.

More kisses, better than before, heated, scorching, flaming,

The rest of the clothes come off in a blur, and I'm here with another boy,

Naked,

Together,

Not caring,

Don't let the thoughts in; open the gates and it'll come flooding back,

It will happen,

If it doesn't…

But there's no time to think because I feel myself pushed back, and I fall. I land on softness, bounciness. I land on a bed. He, Draco, He follows. He tells me

"I love you."

…Need you…

…Will you have me…?"

I think as he strokes my cheek, as I get lost in his eyes, forgetting what I had warned myself about. But it's too late now, everything is unraveling, everything is undone. I don't want the answer to be predictable. I want it to be different, a line he will always remember…I want it to be ours.

"You'll always have me…"

They're the right words. The ones I mean.

And we're aflame, we're flying, we're touching heaven,

We are one.

I am him

He is me

We are together…

What else is there to care about?

We are now.

I'm conscious. I'm aware that I'm in bed. But something tells me I'm not in the right one.

Perhaps it's the different bed sheets, or the morning sunlight blinding me when my actual bed is currently situated in the dungeons, which have no windows…

Perhaps it's the strong pair of arms that encircle me. Those belong to Draco, my…lover?

I make the slightest movement to see if he's awake, and his arms tighten around me, encasing me. My heart beat doubles at such a tiny gesture- no wait, it doubles because I just realize what I've done.

I've just had sex. With Draco Malfoy.

I've got to say…it's been a very strange past few weeks. I sit up, gently pulling his grasp apart. Luckily it doesn't wake him, and I am free to pull the duvet up to cover myself up a bit more. Now I'm sat up, I take a look around the room. It's pretty plain really, a great deal of candles- which I had not noticed last night- and our clothes adorning the floor. It seems very plain for a room of Hogwarts…as if it only contains the basic…necessities…

And then a very irritating idea pops into my head.

"I need…" I begin, suspiciously glancing around the room, "A muffin."

And there, as if it had been there all along, a plate on my lap bearing a very appetizing looking tray bake.

Great. I've done the ridiculously predictable- used the Room of Requirement for my midnight humping…!

With a 'Hmmmpf!', I cross my arms angrily, glaring at the innocent muffin. My heart leaps as I hear:

"Morning."

"Draco- you're awake?" I squeak, spinning to see him slung across the pillows, looking divine even in the morning. How rude…

"Looks like it…" He says gently, with a soft expression in his eyes, "Last night was…"

"Mmm." I fill in stiffly, edging the covers around me self-consciously. He strokes my bare back, sending shooting sensations down my spine.

"Amazing." He finishes contently, before pulling me down to lie with him. It's insane. He's naked. I'm naked. Last night this seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Now, however, it's totally cringe worthy! But that goes away when he presses his lips to mine.

"But there is one little thing…" He whispers as we break apart, resting his forehead against mine, exhaling as if something was really troubling him.

"What…?" I ask, touching his cheek. His grey eyes find mine, and he looks incredibly apprehensive.

He's not going to break up with me? Not that I care of course! But still- what a prick! Has he really been leading me on just for a shag? If that's it then I was wrong all along, he never changed, he's always been the same, self-centered, obnoxious-

"You really think I wouldn't know it was you, Potter?"

BOMBSHELL! Haha I love those...never do a story without one. ;D