Volume 2, Part IV: Without the Honesty
Sand and Torio were rushed out of the castle and into the midnight air; a carriage waited for them, the driver discreetly cloaked, with a large brimmed hat pulled over his head. The guard that escorted them out into the streets pulled the door open for them and ushered them inside, before heaving their gear onto the back of the wagon. Torio listened mutely as the baggage was strapped down, and then the guard shouted, "All clear!"
There was the crack of a whip, and the carriage lurched into motion, the clopping of horses' hooves the only sound breaking the silence. There were two small bracketed candles that lit the inside of the carriage, and she stared at Sand's face from where he sat across from her; she was exhausted, and strangely wired, and still in shock over Nasher's sudden insistence that they swear oaths to each other despite the fact that he obviously didn't trust her; Vale's warnings and Aarin's instructions swam in her head as she licked her lips and watched the elf-turned-human who sat across from her, her mouth as parched as a desert.
Sand pulled back the dark red curtains covering the windows of the carriage slightly, peering out. They were rushing through the quiet streets of the city, the houses and shops all blurring together with only the occasional torch breaking the dull grey darkness. His beating heart was finally slowing down; the further they traveled from Castle Never, the less real the whole evening seemed. He would be sorely tempted to consider the whole night a dream if it wasn't for the fact that Torio was blonde and he was human. Subconsciously, he touched his ears again. Sand let the curtain fall back down and leaned against his seat, his eyes seeking out Torio. "How are you doing, Nagendra?"
"I am most decidedly not myself, Tanith." Her tone was sharp, but then her face softened slightly as she looked at him and she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This was all rather...abrupt," she said quietly.
It was silent for a moment, and then she chuckled wryly into her hand, her eyes slitting open and darting to his face. "Although I suppose it's a relief from what could have driven Nasher to drag us both to the castle." She thought back on their earlier panic...his intense, desperate kiss at the top of the basement stairs...
Sand moved carefully across the carriage and seated himself besides her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "I don't think Nasher suspects anything; though our...enthusiastic...performance for Gend might have him wondering..." He began toying with her hair, observing that she now had long hair and he was the one with short hair.
He kissed the top of her head. "We'll have 5 days alone together, dear girl, even if the situation in Luskan does not bode well for us."
She smirked, tilting her head back to look at him momentarily. "And whose fault is that enthusiastic performance? On the spymaster's desk, of all places...you seem to be settling in to this uncouth, uncivilized human business rather well, Bodaes."
"What can I say? You have been a terrible influence on my comportment. First the Library table...now Gend's desk... I must admit, dear girl, a part of me was rather pleased at that. Childish. Petty, oh yes, but it was my own small revenge. May he never look at the desk without thinking of us and our performance ever again. A...worthy epitaph for us." He settled back comfortably in his seat. It would be about a day's journey to Port Llast, then 4 days beyond that to Luskan itself - barring any problems along the road.
Torio settled against him again as she mulled over his words. Five days, alone. A part of her was nervous, uneasy; she blamed that initially on the mission they faced, but there was a part of her that was trying desperately to balk at the sudden isolated closeness with Sand...no distractions, no sneaking, no lies, no slipping from rooms before dawn... A chance to be normal. A part of her was balking because she knew she wanted it..."Five days," she repeated. She kept her voice light. "I might have a chance to sleep in, for once."
"Did you want to sleep now, my dear? I'm certain we'll be fairly safe for a while yet but I'll stay awake..."
She shook her head slightly against his shoulder. "I'm not sleepy." The end of her sentence was punctuated by a small, smothered yawn, but she ignored it. "I swore to protect you, remember? What a poor protector I'd be if I fell asleep on the job." Her eyes were heavy; the noise and steady rhythm of the moving carriage was lulling her tired mind into unconsciousness, and she sighed slightly, burrowing her head deeper into Sand's shoulder. "Does Nasher always call for such vows from his spies? Luskan has...rather different methods of ensuring loyalty
Sand tightened his grip on Torio as she began drifting off. "I would assume such oaths are needed for riskier ventures. My earlier work in the Docks were inconsequential enough I suppose that swearing over my life's blood wasn't necessary." He kissed her forehead. "And I swore to protect you as well, dear girl. What was it? 'To love all that you loved and shun all that you shunned.' I suppose I should start shunning Nevalle -oh but wait - I already do."
She looked so comfortable that Sand wished his racing mind could find some repose and join her in her creeping slumber. "Luskan methods of guaranteeing loyalty aren't that much different than Neverwinter if you really think on it. Listen to us or we kill you. Geas and magically sworn and sealed oaths are similar. Really, there are times I think Neverwinter is nothing more than Luskan but without the honesty."
She snorted in a choked laugh. "Without the honesty...ha! Well said." Her voice trailed off into a chuckle. "You're starting to sound as cynical as the ranger, dear Sand." She sniffed lightly, her voice dry. "Although thankfully without the standard accompaniment of unwashed self-loathing."
She fell silent for a moment, shutting her eyes. Then; "I wonder if Nasher really would have killed us had we refused. Well..." She opened one eye, glancing up at his face. "Killed you, at any rate. I, on the other hand, seem to be somewhat...expendable at the moment." Her voice took on a bitter edge, which surprised her. She could guess full well why Nasher was sending her on this mission; it would be easy to denounce her as a spy for Neverwinter if she was caught (who would believe the notorious Torio Claven was working for Neverwinter?) and there would be no hearts unduly broken at her untimely death.
Right?"Still, it baffles me that he would send you and I together." She traced a hand over his chest drowsily, her voice purring. "Not that I am one to complain, dear Tanith.
"Hmm." Sand pondered her statement. "I don't think he would have killed me. But he would have made life tremendously difficult, I suspect. Besides, he knows with Garius and the King of Shadows looming in the distance, my doom is essentially guaranteed." He chuckled darkly.
Torio felt her stomach clench painfully when he blithely mentioned his impendingly violent death-by-King-of-Shadows. But then his voice lightened somewhat; "And you are expendable only to him. I have a significantly different opinion than him on that matter."
"It surprises me as well that he would send us together, dear girl, though I won't look a gift hobgoblin in the mouth. But he is right - the two of us are the best suited for this task. He knows our history though; that's probably why he insisted upon such...stringent oaths to each other. He probably suspected that we'd betray the other given half the chance." He frowned slightly. "Still - I hope you did not mind having to swear such an oath too much. If we return, I will request that Nasher nullify our words." His insides gave a raw, disappointed twist. He had found himself giving the vows slightly more ... emotional...meaning than he had originally intended too. Perhaps as a result of the tumultuous day?
"Hmm," she said, chuckling; her insides warmed considerably, a pleasant buzzing that filtered to her toes and fingers. "Just the words a lady wants to hear from the man she is about to plunge into mortal danger with." She nuzzled his shoulder, thinking for a moment. "I suppose if I was in Nasher's place I would do the same; for all he knew we'd kill each other before we'd have made twenty paces from the front gate." She glanced at him furtively, her mouth pulling downward somewhat. "I dislike the fact that Lord Nasher thrust such vows on me...on us without consulting us. But I..." My gods, was her throat tightening? She must be sleepier than she thought. She trailed onwards quickly, "It could be advantageous to us to keep the vows, of course; it would explain your sudden lack of enthusiasm when asked to administer torture, for one." She tilted her head back against his shoulder to look into his face. His human face. "I...but...I do not particularly mind it, Bodaes." She found herself studying his now rounded eyes; they still watched her sharply, that same thoughtful, shrewd look settling at their corners that he always seemed to have.
She felt a creeping heat in her cheeks, and smoothly ducked her head back against his shoulder, adding coyly. "At least this way, I can ensure that Sir Nevalle is properly shunned."
Sand realized he could feel her fleeting thoughts in the back of his mind. They flitted through his consciousness, vaguely, shapes without forms. She seemed undecided about something - her words were stumbling, halting. Curious.
"But won't Nasher find it...odd that we do not request that the vows are voided?" He quickly added, "I don't mind the vows either, dear girl - protecting you from the torture alone would be worth it though I wouldn't put it past Nasher and Vale to come up with some sort of loophole that both forced me to protect you AND torture you at their whims. I'm just thinking long term strategy."
Torio sighed. "Yes, I suppose it would seem odd at that if we didn't request it removed. Although at this point in time I'm more concerned about Nevalle's intentions than Nasher's and Vale's; I don't have to live with the latter every day at that moldering Keep." She watched as he pulled a blanket down over their legs from one of the high shelves above their heads. She kept her voice nonchalant. "If we have to ask them to nullify the vows, then we will. We'll do what we have to do." Why did the thought bother her so much?
Too much serious talk before sleep; the elf changed the topic. "So if we both shun Nevalle, as per the oath, then what do we both have to love? Wine? Books?"
She chuckled lightly at his comment, curling against his body under the blanket. "Of course, and more; thoroughly abusing your magical abilities? Invisibility spells come to mind." She yawned slightly, and glanced at him archly from under her lashes. "Poetry, maybe?"
Each other? He squelched the thought before it had barely time to surface from the murky depth of his subconscious, but whispered quietly, "You know I would have watched out for you, Helkaer, even without the vows."
There was a strange, flickering dissonance underneath his thoughts that he shoved almost immediately out of her reach. She shut her eyes, letting her body sink against his and muttering wryly, "A comforting thought, to be sure." She paused after a moment, and then opened her eyes again, studying his face in the semi-dimness.
Probably the only person in the realms at this point who would ever dream of protecting one such as her. Was he a fool for doing so? Sand, holding back the hordes of her enemies that were out for her blood? He was one elf; what could he possibly stop from happening to her?
And yet...her mind went to the ariik gem around his neck; she had risked punishment and all sorts of accusation if her letter to Kurth had been discovered, but despite the odds it was now resting around Sand's neck. Your meager attempt at protection.
Her voice, of its own volition, said quietly, "I know you would have." She pressed her hand against his thigh to give her leverage, and pushed herself up, lightly touching her mouth against his, a sudden, yawning sadness filling her chest.
He pulled her close for the kiss, picturing them writhing naked together on the throne at Crossroad Keep, and as soon as her lips touched his, an overwhelming sadness washed through his consciousness. It was so deep that it threatened to sweep him away... Startled, he pulled back and stared hard at Torio. "What's wrong?"
Torio blinked at him, startled for a moment. How did he...? The spell. She would have to be careful of even her thoughts now, it seemed. And yet...
She said, quietly, "It is unusual, I suppose, to have anyone wishing to protect me." She let a bitter twist pull at her mouth. "Ha! I am more accustomed to threats." Her eyebrow arched elegantly over one eye. "Not undeserved threats, either, I suppose." She bent forward, kissing him again. "Do not fret, Bodaes, I am perfectly fine." Her voice was warm as she murmured, "And I much prefer your thoughts to mine at the moment." The image of them on the throne still tugged at her mind, making her skin flush pleasantly.
Sand nuzzled her, his heart giving a swelling clench at her words. "Poor girl. You haven't had it easy, I shall give you that. But nor have you made it easy for others. And while threats may have been a part of your life and may be a part of your life now, perhaps, in the future - you can lead a more normal existence." He purposefully left off the end of the sentence he truly wanted to say. With me.
"It appears the both of us were meant for expendable lives steeped in politics, betrayals and double-crossings whether we want it or not." Funny then - that he would trust her as much as he did.
Torio turned to face him fully on the bench, pulling the blanket around her as she did so. "Ah, but we take to it so well, do we not? If we weren't half as good as Nasher thinks us to be we wouldn't be here." She reached out and fingered a short lock of hair that thrust upwards from his head. "Or half as expendable."
"And a normal existence almost seems impossible at this point." Her face clouded momentarily as she ran the strands of his now short hair through her fingers. Her eyes darted to his and she smiled slightly, her normally mocking undertone gone for half a heartbeat. "But we shall see." Then she snorted lightly. "My immediate goal is to survive the coming week."
Sand wriggled down the carriage bench, trying to lie flat on his back. By Mystra, this was uncomfortable. Being shorter suddenly had its benefits. He was about a foot and a half too tall to stretch out completely so he bent his knees up, pulling Torio between them and on top of him. "How will we survive the week, dear girl? Any glorious plans? I haven't been to Luskan in years - You'll have to teach me the geography, names of people...
Torio nestled against Sand's body, stretching out, her face pressed against his shoulder. She yawned widely, her sudden state of being horizontal allowing her latent weariness to wash over her in an overpowering wave. "Little has changed; the Red Dragon is still top of the ladder when it comes to trading; you'll need to know that if anyone asks you about your merchant business."
Her voice slurred sleepily. "There are names you must know, as well...Admun Avardsson, Benheim Mattak, Monik Pearlman...merchants that you'll..."Yawn "...need to be familiar with..." her voice trailed off as her eyes sank shut, and she fell asleep, her fingers curled slightly into the front of Sand's robes, grasping the fabric lightly to her as if the wizard would otherwise float away.
Sand held her to him, his larger frame easily embracing her smaller body. He watched her sleeping face, his human eyes able to take in only the barest of details. He had taken for granted his elven ability to watch her sleeping; it had become somewhat of a pastime of his if ever he woke up in the dead of night and was unable to fall back asleep. Her blonde hair had fallen across her cheek and he brushed it away. She had a slight frown on her face and her lips were twitching, moving silently. She made small noises of protest whenever the carriage hit a bumpy spot on the road. Her fingers were holding onto the front of his robes lightly and he pulled the blanket up over her shoulders, kissing the top of her hair. She had a pretty, vulnerable - almost innocent - look when she slept. The hard lines of her face softened to the point that she almost looked childlike, especially her nose.
Sand lay back and closed his eyes, shifting to get comfortable. He wasn't tired yet but it was comforting just holding her...
There was a strange fluttering in the back of his mind, gray confused shapes...Sand blinked and then stared down at Torio. She was dreaming... A part of Sand felt a pang of guilt at intruding upon her thoughts when she wasn't conscious to shield them from him.
Oh, but they're just dreams, Sand. They don't mean anything...He closed his eyes again, steadying his breathing and reached out with his mind...
She was walking; a man walked at her side, taller and imposing, his robes eerily silent even though they brushed along the ground.
Garius. She had walked this hallway before, years ago.
She was dressed in fine silks; the scarlet sleeve of her dress was torn from her shoulder to her elbow, revealing bruised, purpling flesh. Her skin was oiled with a thick perfume and a layer of fearful, excited perspiration. Her hair was long, rich brown and perfectly coifed, a few tendrils snaking from the pins.
"My dear...we need you."
A door opened. She was led inside; books stacked the tables; parchment, artifacts, inks and quills. Diagrams were plastered on the walls in languages she couldn't begin to comprehend...
"You've forgotten us, haven't you? Forgotten what real power feels like."
A sharp blade sheared her hair just as before; she watched it fall, clumps of her former glory surrounding her feet, her new shortened fringe brushing her cheekbones lightly. She turned; a mirror was there, reflecting a youthfully rounded face, the hardened edge to her features not yet formed; there was a wariness to her eyes, a precursor to the cold mistrust that would follow in the years to come.
"It's never too late to come back, my dear."
She was suddenly standing on the docks of Luskan, facing the sea; her fine clothes were replaced with the rags of her youth, ludicrous on her grown adult body. She tried to move and found that she couldn't.
Never too late. The sea was rising towards her; the sky churned above her head and the waves rolled ever forward, towering over her small frame.
...but you can't go back...
A pair of slanted blue eyes flashed through her mind.
...or you don't want to...
The water crashed around her, and there was nothing but blackness.
Garius.
Sand nearly recoiled physically. She was dreaming about Garius. He knew it was just a dream but he could feel the dark one's power even here. He saw flashes of images - a younger Torio, hurt, in a red dress... her hair getting cut short...Garius' voice, whispering quietly to her. Sand couldn't make out the words, but he understood the tone. Garius was searching for her.
He clutched her tightly to him, his mind still watching her dream.
She was in the sea now; he recognized the Luskan shores. She was resisting Garius - he could feel it, feel the way her mind turned, the way her body protested. Gods there was now water everywhere and then...then... Sand felt himself pulled into her dream for a moment, his blue eyes widening in surprise at the force at which her subconscious seemed to drag him in...he stared at her standing in the waves, as the water crashed over her...He tried to call out to her, tried to tell her...
She was drowning in her dream and he couldn't reach her anymore as the blackness surrounded them... He gasped in the air, pulling himself out of the dream, feeling as though the entire sea had washed into his lungs. She was stirring visibly and soon she opened an eye.
Torio sucked in a breath; the change in her senses, the feeling of her face squashing into Sand's chest, and the sound of the clattering carriage told her that she was awake. She felt stiff and a bit sore; what time was it? She opened one eye, her head still spinning slightly from the clinging traces of her dream.
"You're awake, dear girl."
"Mmmm," she said complained slightly as she shifted, her joints popping audibly. "How long have I been..." she almost said dreaming..."asleep?" She inhaled deeply, trying to stretch; she pushed herself up slightly and gazed up at the window, still seeing darkness outside.
She'd been dreaming of Garius? Her spine ran cold at her next thought. Was it only a dream? She rubbed a hand across her eyes, still feeling unrested despite her nap.
"The better part of an hour I suspect, Helkaer. Go back to sleep. You weren't sleeping well. Worried about Luskan?" He wasn't about to let her know he had seen her dreams. The budding trust between them seemed to indicate that she may feel that invading her dreams was a distinct violation. He yawned. "Dawn is a long ways off, yet and quite frankly, I don't know how well I'll be able to sleep on these bumpy roads."
Torio looked at him and chuckled wryly, her voice catching only slightly. "Only a fool would not be worried about what waits for us within Luskan's walls." She kissed the corner of his mouth, her eyes closing sleepily once again. "Uncomfortable, Bodaes? I can move if you like." A disappointing thought, but she knew the carriage was small and uncomfortable for her...for the taller bulkier Sand it must be akin to sleeping in a small, crated box rolling on the high seas. Let's try not to think about the seas, Torio...
Sand frowned slightly. "Oh I worry, dear girl, I worry. But there is nothing we can do at the moment other than sleep. And enjoy each other's company. And plot. " He sat up. "Just let me sit up and you can rest your head in my lap." He wanted to have her close in case she had another nightmare.
Or do you really want to stop her from going to Garius if he comes back?
He stroked her hair gently, watching her eyelids close. He realized he would fight Garius, tooth and nail, down to the last spell, to keep her from him. The thought surprised him; for once, the idea of facing Garius didn't make him want to curl up in a ball and rock back and forth.
He lifted the curtains from the windows again and stared out. They were in the countryside now, the trees and fields rushing past them. He wondered if they would stop and rest the horses, or if Nasher and Gend were in such a rush that they would simply switch carriage at the next outpost. He let the curtain drop again and leaned back, closing his eyes.
A few minutes later, he was asleep as well.