Reach out a Hand

Inuko shivered and pulled his cloak tighter around himself. Maybe he shouldn't have run away from home. At the time, it had seemed like his only option. But now he was cold, hungry and afraid. He felt completely alone in the world.

"You look like you could use a warm meal and a dry place for the night," a voice above his head said.

Inuko squinted through the rain. It was the old tramp he'd seen in the park earlier. Feeling a bit suspicious, Inuko scrutinized the man. He looked harmless enough, though. His clothes were ragged and so dirty it made Inuko shiver. He looked old and used up, marked by age and suffering. But he had a kind smile, and his eyes were cheerful and undefeated.

"Who are you?" Inuko asked.

The other's smile turned into a toothless grin. "Well, you can call me Fudo!" the tramp answered. "But I'm not going to stand around in the rain, making introductions. I'm off to a dry place and a warm meal. You can come along!"

He offered a gnarled hand. Inuko hesitated.

Fudo shrugged. "Or you can just stay here and freeze to your death."

Inuko took the outstretched hand.

From: "In the Year of the Dog" by Shigure Souma, chapter 4

Sunlight was dancing over his closed eyelids. Cocooned in soft warmth, Yuki gave a content little sigh and snuggled deeper into the pillows, listening to the sound of birds singing. This was a wonderful dream. He didn't want to wake up. But the harder he was trying to hold on to sleep, the faster it was eluding him.

Surrendering, he opened his eyes, expecting to fall back into cold darkness.

Instead, the brightness intensified and he had to blink rapidly as his eyes started to water from the blinding light.

After a few moments they adjusted and he could carefully look around. He was definitely not in the Black Room any more. But he wasn't in any of the rooms he knew at the main house either, or at his mother's house on Souma Estate. This room looked sparse and strangely worn down, yet it had an open and welcoming feel to it.

He was lying on a futon below the open window. And somebody he seemed to vaguely remember from somewhere was sitting on the floor at the foot of the futon, scribbling away in a notice book.

Before he could pinpoint who exactly this someone was, the young man looked up from his writing, meeting Yuki's gaze. A warm smile spread over his face, and there was laughter in his eyes as he cast the notice book and pen aside and called out: "Hey there, Yuki-kun! Rise and shine! A new day has begun!"

Utterly confused, Yuki sat up and stared at the young man. Before he could collect his thoughts enough to come up with any kind of reaction, the door opened with a grinding sound and another person entered the room.

Yuki breathed a sigh of relief: It was Hatori.

"Good morning, Yuki," Hatori said, sitting down on the floor next to the futon. With a glance at his watch he added: "Actually, it's almost noon. You slept quite soundly."

His piercing bronze eyes fixed on Yuki intently.

"We fetched you from Souma House early this morning," he continued. "You are now at Shigure's house. Do you remember Shigure? He's your cousin and cursed by the spirit of the dog."

Yuki scrutinized the young man once more. A distant, blurred memory popped into his head: A New Year's Eve; his little cousin Momiji jumping on somebody else's back, happily crying…

"…Shii-chan," Yuki mumbled.

"Exactly!" Hatori looked overjoyed to hear Yuki speak. Shigure, on the other hand, suddenly looked rather… sad?... angry?... Yuki couldn't quite read the expression. Maybe his cousin didn't like to be called by that nickname?

A moment later, the strange expression was gone and Shigure was smiling again.

"As you can see, your new home still needs some renovations. But there is an advantage to that: You get to choose the wallpaper!"

Yuki stared. New home? Wallpaper? He didn't understand a thing!

"You'll be staying here with Shigure," Hatori explained. "You won't go back to the Main House."

"Unless you want to, of course!" Shigure added.

It took a while for the words to sink in.

"St-stay… here?" Yuki stammered.

He looked from Shigure's laughing eyes to Hatori's serious, assuring ones. It was real.

"A-Akito…?"

"Akito decided it might be good for your health to live with me for a while."

Yuki saw Hatori frown a little at that. It did seem strange, to be sure. Thinking about other people's health didn't sound like something Akito would do.

"Of course if you believe I'm too terrible to live with…," Shigure piped up again, looking like a puppy that'd just been beaten by its master.

Yuki hastily shook his head. He didn't want his cousin to think he didn't like him.

Shigure's face immediately lit up again. "That's settled then! C'mon, let's find you something to eat!"

Still feeling overwhelmed, Yuki followed the adults out of the door and down a narrow corridor. Same as the room he had woken up in, the whole house seemed worn-down and a little rotten, as if it had been neglected for a long time.

"Please excuse the condition the place is in, Yuki-kun," Shigure said, leading them down a rather steep flight of stairs. "It is still pretty rustic… Watch out, here's a step missing!"

"Rustic is a euphemism!" Hatori grumbled, making one big step over the gap in the stairs. "And this," he turned around to make sure Yuki got over the gap alright "-is dangerous!"

"I know," Shigure admitted. "New stairs are right on top of the to-do-list."

Meanwhile, they had arrived in the "kitchen", which consisted of a gas-powered camping stove and a plastic basin underneath a rusty tap.

"So, Yuki-kun, what would you like for breakfast?" Shigure asked. "There's rice… rice… and more rice!" He laughed again.

"You call this rice?" Hatori asked, eying the sticky, greyish mass suspiciously.

"I guess so," Shigure replied absent-mindedly. He was busy peering into another pot.

"Oh, there are some steamed vegetables here as well! We'll just mix everything together; then it'll be warmed up faster!"

With that, Shigure tipped the contents of both pots together and placed the mixture on the stove.

Registering Hatori's slightly disgusted expression, he frowned.

"What's that, Ha-san? You don't expect me to cook a menu with five courses on a camping stove now, do you?"

"Don't you think you could use a proper stove in here?" Hatori asked back, opening the slide door that led out onto the porch. "As well as a sink?"

"Yea, yea," Shigure agreed, his upper body stuck in a large wooden box. He emerged a few seconds later with a plate and cutlery which he triumphantly thrust into Yuki's hands.

"A proper kitchen is right on top of the to-do list!"

Yuki looked around a bit helplessly, then – as the room obviously lacked a table and chairs – sat down next to Hatori at the small table on the porch.

"I thought the stairs were on top of the list," Hatori said. He fished a cigarette out of his pocket and hesitantly turned it in his fingers.

"Cigarette smoke is very unhealthy for people with asthma," Shigure reprimanded, carrying the pot out onto the porch. "It's in that book you made me read."

"Don't distract!" Hatori ordered sternly. But he shoved the cigarette back into his pocket. "You don't even have a to-do-list, do you?"

Shigure just laughed and shovelled a generous portion of rice and veggies on Yuki's plate. Yuki took a tentative spoonful: It didn't taste that bad. Not as bad as it looked anyway.

"Without a plan on how to go about this renovation, you'll never see the end of it."

"Oh, I have a plan!" Shigure claimed, dropping down beside them. "It's just that it's flexible!"

Hatori rolled his eyes.

"And you have to admit that I worked really hard; clearing the whole path to the road in just two weeks!"

Hatori eyed the large piles of wood in front of the house. "What are you going to do with all that?"

Shigure followed his glance. "Burn it, I guess. It's not much use for anything else!" He looked thoughtful for a second, then smiled: "Actually, that's just the idea! We can make a campfire tonight! That'll be just perfect for our guests!"

"Guests?"

"Yea, Kureno's coming over with some friends from school."

"Kureno?" Hatori asked. "Why would he come over? I thought you didn't like him?"

"Well, I don't generally enjoy his company," Shigure agreed. "The poor lad wouldn't recognize a joke if it bit him right in the – "

Hatori coughed.

Shigure catched himself, giving Yuki a glance and an apologetic grin, and continued: "Anyway, he's having trouble with a drama project they are doing in English classes; and, out of pure generosity, I have offered my help."

"Pure generosity," Hatori repeated, even more suspicious now.

"You know. Like I always am." Shigure tried hard to keep a straight face and failed miserably.

He propped his elbows onto the table, resting his chin in his hands and explained to Yuki: "Kureno's going to the same highschool Ha-san and I went to. It's a boys-only-school: Probably the most boring thing in existence! But," he continued, an evil gleam appearing in his eyes, "it is hard to perform A Midsummer Night's Dream with an entirely male cast, therefore they are doing a co-project with the girls-only-school next door. And that, my boy…" Shigure looked up. Four people had appeared at the edge of the clearing. The sunlight gleamed on the boy's auburn hair, and on the long hair of the three girls that accompanied him. "…is without a doubt the most wonderful thing in existence!" he finished with ill-concealed triumph.

Hatori groaned. "And here I was, thinking you'd actually matured being forced to stand on your own two feet! I should have known better!"

Shigure laughed delightedly and stood up. "Now, don't be a hypocrite, Ha-san. You know very well how often you climbed the wall to get into the yard of the girls school."

Hatori muttered something about being "dragged along".

Shigure ignored him. Stepping around the table, he gave Hatori a patronizing pat on the shoulder. "You were quite popular with the ladies! But I won't go into detail; we don't want to spoil the innocent ears of young Yuki here, do we?"

He gave them a wink, jumped off the porch and bounded away over the clearing to welcome the visitors, all the while giggling like a maniac.

Hatori banged his head on the table. "Please shoot me!" he mumbled.

After the introductions were done, and Hatori had taken a rather hasty leave, Kureno followed Shigure into the kitchen to help with the tea.

"Thank you for inviting us over, Shigurenii-san," Kureno said, while Shigure filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. "Akito-san wouldn't have liked us meeting at Souma House, and none of the others has much space at home."

"Well, you're welcome," Shigure said. "You know how much I always enjoy your spirited conversation!"

"Err… really?" Kureno asked, missing the sarcasm. "Thank you."

Shigure withstood the urge to roll his eyes by concentrating on finding enough cups for everyone.

He was quiet for a while, cleaning out the cups and arranging them on the tray.

Suddenly he asked: "Did I chicken out on you?"

Kureno blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Shigure sighed. "Out of the younger generation, we are the oldest: Aya, Ha-san and I. We always felt that we should look after you, somehow… protect you. I know the little ones relied on influence over Akito-san. And still I just up and left; at a time when maybe my presence was needed the most… So: Did I let you down?"

"I don't know."

Shigure sighed again, a bit impatient this time.

"You're not helpful at all!" he complained, grabbing the tea tray and carrying it outside.

"No offence, Yuki-kun, but that yukata looks as if you've been sleeping in it for weeks," Shigure said half an hour later, when the teenagers finally got out their copies of A Midsummer Night's Dream and settled in for work. "How about taking a bath and getting dressed in something clean?"

Yuki nodded; relieved to get away from all the people he didn't know.

"You'll even be the first to use my brand-new bathtub," Shigure said, leading the way into a bathroom that indeed looked by far better than the rest of the house. "Only installed yesterday!"

He turned on the taps and felt with his hand for a nice water temperature.

Yuki started to undo the belt of his yukata, when something occurred to him: "Err… Did you bring any of my clothes from the Main House?"

Shigure straitened up und dried his hand on his jeans.

"But of course! Ha-san packed everything up for you! It's all upstairs. Just stay right here, and I'll get you something!"

He walked to the door. "Don't worry, I'll be back in a minute to help you with everything!"

"I'm not worried," Yuki mumbled. "This it not the first time in my life I'm taking a bath, you know!"

He then blushed about his own impoliteness.

But Shigure just laughed, waving his apologies away, and vanished through the door, pulling it shut behind him. "Back in a sec!"

He heard him bounding up the stairs.

Yuki sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched the water pour out of the taps, shaking his head in puzzled amusement. That cousin of his was a strange person!

'He seems to be in a hurry', Yuki thought, listening to Shigure's hasty footsteps overhead. 'I just hope he doesn't fall over the gab in the st-'

There was a loud, smashing sound, followed by a rather colourful curse.

'Too late!,' Yuki thought. He turned off the taps.

"Shigurenii-san? What are you doing?" Kureno's voice came from the porch.

"Nothing!" Shigure called back, sounding pissed off. "Just trying a stunt you might want to use in the play!"

"We don't really need any stunts; but thank you!"

Yuki could almost hear Shigure roll his eyes. His cousin's footsteps went past the bathroom, still accompanied by muttered curses. A moment later Yuki heard him rummaging around outside.

Few minutes after, Shigure trotted in again and began hammering around on the stairs. Yuki figured that whatever he was doing might take a while and decided to get into the tub by himself.

The hot water burned in the whip marks on his feet. Yuki reached blindly for the soap and began washing himself down; his eyes transfixed of the cruel pattern of blood-red lines.

He didn't even know what he had been punished for this time. He had just briefly talked to Hatsuharu while fetching a glass of water for Akito. Just a few minutes. He was sure Akito couldn't be angry about him being too slow. And Haru was one of the Zodiac, so Akito couldn't be angry about the two of them talking to each other. Or could he?

It had been a lot like this lately.

When it all started, Yuki had always known what he was being punished for. The very first time it was because he'd accidentally revealed his Jyuunishi form to some children he was playing with. The second time was because he disobeyed one of Akito's orders…

But over the years, Akito's explanations for "punishing" him had become more and more random to the point where he hadn't given any explanations at all. It became increasingly difficult for Yuki to foresee when he was going to be punished. He could be safe for weeks; and then he'd suddenly find himself pressed up into a corner of the Dark Room again, with Akito towering over him, begging for mercy he knew he would never receive…

After one of this "punishments" Yuki had asked Akito why he always beat him on his feet, never on his back. Akito had leaned close to him and whispered in his ear: "Because I want you to look at me while I do it." He had chuckled the way only Akito could chuckle: Completely without joy or warmth; a sound that conveyed only cruelty. "You won't turn your back on me, little rat!"

Until then, Yuki hadn't even realized that what he wanted the most wasn't for the pain to stop. What he wanted the most was to look away from those merciless green eyes, those eyes that froze him in place, that smothered all thoughts of resistance, all hopes of escape; those eyes that rendered him helpless… Akito had known, of course. Nothing could be hidden from Akito…

"Sorry that took so long!" A cheerful voice pulled him back into the present. "Looks like you're almost done in here!"

Shigure dropped a bundle of fresh clothing and a towel onto the sink, then cast Yuki a worried look. "Nani? You look pale! Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine."

Yuki got out of the tub and started towelling himself, while Shigure rummaged around in the bathroom locker.

"Where did I…," he mumbled; and a second later: "Ah, here it is!"

Yuki donned a clean yukata and watched as Shigure fumbled a tube out of the little medicine box and skimmed the instructions.

"Hatori left this salve to apply to your wounds, so you won't get any scars," Shigure said. He glanced at Yuki's feet darkly. "At least not any more. Did Akito beat you often?"

Yuki stared at him. It was the first time anyone had ever mentioned aloud what was happening in that room. Hatori and his father had always cleaned his wounds, bandaged him up and exchanged a lot of dark looks. But they'd never said anything, as if by simply not acknowledging what was happening, they could make it undone. Hearing Shigure talk so casually about it felt strangely wrong.

"Not very often," Yuki said hastily. "Only when I did something bad." He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. Why was he defending Akito? After all, it had been Akito who had done him harm, not the other way around. Right?

Shigure looked at him strangely for a second, then shrugged, dropping the subject.

"Sit down," he commanded.

He was surprisingly skilled and gentle with applying the salve; all the while chattering on about the weather, the renovations, the girls outside… With some of the comments Yuki wondered how they were supposed to not "spoil his innocent ears" as Shigure had phrased it so recently. Not that he really minded. He was thankful for his cousin's bubbly voice chasing away Akito's cold laughter. That he really should be able to stay here seemed almost too good to be true.

"There. All done," Shigure said, satisfied. He wrapped clean bandages around Yuki's feet, then slipped socks over them to keep the bandages clean. "As good as new!"

Yes, it was too good to be true, and yet, Yuki was gradually starting to believe it as he strolled through the wilderness that surrounded Shigure's house; breathing in the smell of wood and earth in deep breaths, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun, savouring the knowledge that he would have this everyday from now on…

Shigure had joined the others on the porch to explain some scenes from the play the teenagers had trouble understanding – and to flirt with the girls some more, Yuki suspected. He giggled as he imagined Hatori's reprimanding expression would he see them. It already felt like he had known Shigure for ages, even if he'd barely spent a day in his presence.

Yuki dropped down into the soft grass and rolled on his back to look at the clouds. Shigure had said something about admitting Yuki to a school in a couple of weeks. Yuki felt his stomach clench a little nervously at the thought. He remembered what happened the last time he'd come into contact with "outsiders". On the other hand… it would be a chance to be "normal", to have a normal live…

Yuki decided not to worry about it right now. He could think about it later. For now, he just wanted to relax and enjoy this rare moment of peace in his life.

When all explanations were done, the teenagers began to practise some of the scenes. As there was no kissing involved, Shigure soon lost interest and sauntered off to "prepare dinner".

Yuki found him in the kitchen, sitting in front of the box he used as a work surface, hacking away at some vegetables. Unwilling to disturb him, he was about to go outside again, when he heard some telltale sniffles.

Yuki's eyes widened. Was Shigure crying?

Hesitantly, he walked up to his cousin and tucked his sleeve. "Shigure?"

Shigure turned around. Large tears were rolling down his cheeks, but he laughed at Yuki.

"Ever cut onions, Yuki-kun?"

Confused, Yuki shook his head. He tentatively reached out a hand to brush away the tears from his cousin's face. "Don't cry…"

"I'm not crying!" Shigure wiped his eyes with his forearm and laughed again. "I mean… I am, but" - suddenly his smile turned very gentle - "I'm fine, really. Thanks for worrying."

He made a movement as if to pat Yuki's head, then, sniffing his fingertips, he thought better of it and turned to continue his work.

Yuki stopped him by tugging his sleeve once more. He didn't want to be a nuisance, but there was something he needed to ask Shigure. Fortunately, his cousin didn't seem angry about the distraction.

"What is it, Yuki-kun?"

"You… haven't told me the rules yet."

"The what?" Shigure looked dumbfounded.

"The rules," Yuki insisted. "For living here."

"Well… there aren't any."

"But – " Yuki started to protest. If there weren't any rules, he wouldn't know when he did something wrong! He wouldn't know when to expect the next punishment. There wouldn't be the possibility to keep himself safe by following the rules…

Shigure was looking at him intently. He seemed to realize what was going on in Yuki's head, for he put his knife away and started staring off into space.

After a while, however, he looked at Yuki again with an apologetic grin and shrugged helplessly. "Sorry Yuki-kun. It seems I'm as lousy at making up rules as I am at following them. As it is, I can only think of one."

Yuki nodded eagerly. "I will always try to obey it!"

"Good." Shigure smiled. "Well, here it is: Always be yourself, Yuki-kun! That's the only thing you have to do in this house."

In the evening, they grilled sausages over the open campfire.

Shigure told wild stories from his backpacking trip, half of which were completely made-up. The girls performed a song from the play; afterwards Shigure sang an obscene parody of the song that made everyone laugh except for Kureno.

When the sausages were done, they ate them between slices of white bread, with fried onions and tomato sauce. Yuki, used to the strictly traditional Japanese food served in the Main House, wasn't quite sure whether or not he liked the taste.

But he definitely liked everything else: The merry crackle of the fire, the warm glow it painted on everyone's hair and faces. The voices, the laughter, Shigure's startled yelp when some of the hot oil from the frying pan jumped on his hand. The darkness of the forest that surrounded them like a protecting wall and the blanket of stars over their heads…

And late at night, after they'd waved Kureno and the girls goodbye and extinguished the fire, Yuki curled up on the futon in his new room, closed his eyes and – for the first time in years – slept without nightmares.

tbc